You stayed at the hospital overnight, not getting much sleep as you thought about the day. Yongguk had continued holding his daughter for a couple hours and kept repeatedly asking if you wanted to hold her. You couldn't bring yourself to do it for more than a few seconds though and reluctantly he let the hospital take her away. The labor had went smoothly and you were expected to be discharged in the morning thankfully. You didn't want to spend anymore time here then you needed to.
You glanced over at Yongguk who had fallen asleep in one of the chairs. He didn't look very comfortable but refused to go home when you told him to. How he was able to stay so strong was beyond you since today was the worst day of your life. Then you turned away and closed your eyes, trying push that thought away.

You barely even noticed the drive home or the words coming from Yongguk as he held your hand. When you got home, you mindlessly shuffled in to find your mother-in-law and Yongsun there.
"Mommy! Daddy!"
Yongguk knelt down and hugged him while your mother-in-law hugged you, giving her condolences. Then Yongsun bounced at your feet for your attention. It was a few seconds before you realized he was even there and you placed your hand on his head, acknowledging him.
"Buddy, mommy's really tired right now." Yongguk told him before turning to you. "Why don't you go lay down. The doctor said you needed to rest."
You wordlessly nodded and made your way to the bedroom, not even hearing the words exchanged between Yongguk and his mother as you left the living room.
When you got to the bedroom, you crawled on to the bed and buried yourself under the blanket. You automatically laid on your left side, like you had gotten use to doing to past couple months so you wouldn't get sick. Then you slowly rolled over and laid on your right said, your hand going to your stomach. She didn't like it when you slept on this side and would never stop moving until you turned over, her motion making you nauseous. Yet there wasn't any movement anymore. And nothing to hold to fill the void.
You promptly rolled back over on to your left side and curled in to a ball as you started crying. Clutching at the blanket and your tears soaking the sheet. Then you felt the mattress dip before an arm wrapped around you. His words fell on deaf ears though and until a smaller voice broke through.
"Daddy?"
"What is it?"
"Why is mommy crying?"
"Because she's really sad."
"Oh. Daddy?"
"Yeah?"
"Why can't sissy come home?"
You let go of the blanket and quickly covered your ears, not wanting to hear anymore. Then you felt Yongguk get off the bed and you hoped he left with Yongsun, wanting to be alone.


You woke up that evening after crying yourself to sleep. You made no effort to get out of the bed though and stared at the wall.
"Honey?" you heard Yongguk whisper. Then he was sitting on the bed and running a hand through your hair. "Are you hungry?"
You shook your head a tiny bit and heard him let out a heavy sigh.
"You should try to eat."
You closed your eyes and ignored him as you felt his hand touch your arm.
"Baby..."
Baby.
You sat up real fast and threw his hand off of you. "Don't call me that." you angrily hissed.
His eyes widened in surprise before his face softened with realization and he looked away. "I'm sorry. I didn't..." He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before looking at you. "Honey.."
"Get out."
He reached for you but you pushed him away. "I said get out!"
He stared at you for a few seconds before swallowing and looking away. Then he nodded and stood up, making his way out of the bedroom.
You threw yourself back on the bed and buried your face in to the pillow to muffle your screams. Nothing was ever going to be the same again you decided. This pain would never go away.


The next day passed by without you giving it much thought. Yongguk's mother came that morning and took Yongsun. Then Yongguk was in the bedroom, trying to encourage you to move and eat. You refused to acknowledge him though and with a heavy sigh, he left for work. Sleep must have taken you again because the next thing you knew, Yongsun was sitting on the bed and shaking you awake.
"Mommy?" he quietly asked.
"What?"
"Here." He held out his teddy bear for you.
You hesitated before taking it from him.
"Daddy said you were sick so I want Teddy to make you better like he does with me."
"Thank you." you said.
"You're welcome." he smiled and planted a kiss on your head. Then he jumped off the bed and ran out the door.
You watched him leave before sighing heavily and looking at the old bear. It should have provided comfort except it only made your heart hurt more. This was the bear Yongguk had gotten at the hospital gift shop when Yongsun was born. And there was suppose to be a second bear presented to her.
Your eyes watered and you cursed the cruel world. It kept sending you reminders and tormenting you with no mercy. Then you threw the bear across the room and buried your face in the pillow once more.
When Yongguk came in to get you to eat dinner, you pushed him away. Not wanting to leave the bed. He wouldn't let up for a minute while you begged him to leave you alone. Finally with a frustrated sigh, he left and closed the door behind him.