10/17/13 8:21PM

It’s been 1 year, 25 days, 1 hour, and 40 minutes since I left South Korea. Life here in Italy isn’t like how it used to be. Now it’s quiet and calm well that’s what it seems like to people who don’t live with me. If you live with me then you would really know what happens underneath this cursed roof. It’s full of melancholy, disappointment, and anger. Melancholy because my mom is still going through the treatment. Every day I have to go to her room and give her my blood. Why my blood? My father days it’s because I’m the prophecy child. When he told me that, I got angry because now on he doesn’t call me his daughter he just calls me the prophecy child. My moms’ last treatment is today. After today, I will no longer be giving her my blood and perhaps I will move back to SK. I don’t want to go but my dad said I have to go check up on the gang. But I always refuse when he suggests it’s time for me to go, that’s why there is disappointment in the house. All the anger is coming from me. Why is it coming from me? I have no idea why. Every day I just feel so angry when I wake up. Maybe it’s because I found out that who I thought I was wasn’t even an actual person by law.

Supposedly from what my mom said, my real name isn’t even Kim Nara. Kim Nara was just a name my mom made for when she put me in the adoption center. My real name is Veronica Lopez. At least I’m still the right age. Veronica Lopez… My god that sounds weird coming from my mouth. I’m still not used to saying Veronica Lopez when people ask for my name. In fact sometimes I forget and introduce myself as Kim Nara. I also don’t look the same like I used to. I didn’t grow any taller even though I took a whole load of vitamins and milk. Damn didn’t for . I look more Hispanic now you can barely tell it’s me and you can’t even tell that I have Korean blood in me. I grew my hair out and cut it scene like. I got snake bites and a lip ring, I barely wear my lip ring. But I put it on every 3 weeks so my hole wouldn’t close. I also went back to the quiet, anti-social person I used to be.

I also finished high school, you’re probably like how the hell did she finished high school. Well I skipped all the way to my last year in high school. Yeah I’m that smart, you aint got on thisssss. I haven’t decided what university or college I should go to. I’ve gotten many scholarships but I haven’t decided which one to go to. My body changed to, I’ve gotten a 6 pack with all of my damn hard work. My curves came out more to, my chest improved a lot and my and hips did to. Puberty did it right with me.

You guys are probably getting tired of hearing about me and want to hear what’s going on with B.A.P, Dohyeong, Hyungseok, and Sami. Sami and I talk whenever I have the chance to or whenever she has the chance to. I’m always talking to Dohyeong and the same goes with Hyungseok. But when it comes with B.A.P I get nervous as soon as I picked up my phone and get ready to call them. I end up panicking when I see their names and I just you know don’t call. Maybe it’s because I’m scared as to how they would react with how I left without saying anything and just leaving a note behind. I’m not going to lie, I do miss them a lot. I miss them so much it hurts. It pains me when I think of them. I wonder if they still love me. Probably not, I know I wouldn't love me. My life is too much of a mess. Who would want to get involved in that? I’m tired, from donating so much blood so I’ll just go to sleep already I’ll see you tomorrow.

WOOO YEAAHH FIRST CHAPTER DONEEE any whoooo I know that every chapter i would put who subcribed to my story. Well i'm not going to do that any more. After every three chapters I will update with a list of people of who subscibed to my story. Yeahhhhh I HOPEE YOU LURBBB ITTTT 

MY CRUSH HUGGGEDDD ME VIFUBIVUBSLUB HAD TO LET THAT OUT WOOOO IM SO HAPPY THEN I GOT A HUNDRED ON MY SCIENCE FAIR PROJECT!!!!!!