Even though yesterday felt like they were perfectly fine, the fact that it was actually didn’t hit them in the early morning. Joon lied on the edge of the bed, giving a so much gap between them. He looked after Mir who lied beside him with wary eyes.

Slowly, he traced Mir’s tensed figure. Joon is ready to jump off the bed anytime Mir showed uncomfortable expression. Mir didn’t budge, although he can’t really consider relaxed. His eyes closed tight, but Joon knows he doesn’t sleep.

Everything went well until Mir screamed in the midnight. He was shaking violently with closed eyes. It scared Joon to death, thought that he unconsciously held Mir too close, too tight. He mentally slapped his self for fell asleep. He shouldn’t do that, but Joon’s so dizzy last night.  His fever was high and he doesn’t get any medicine. Joon simply doesn’t think about it when Mir is in his arms.

It took him a couple times to realize that Mir is actually dreaming and Joon was at lost once again.

"You're staring," Mir murmured between his slightly parted lips. He brought his arm to cover his eyes.

Joon bit his bottom lip and tore his eyes away from the younger.  "I don't notice," he said softly.

"Are you notice that you might be fall over the bed?" Mir asked, still refused to look at Joon. "I'm alright."

The raven hair scooted closer, feeling guilty for his insecurity. Mir peeked from his arm and his smoky eye stared right through Joon. They stayed like that for awhile. Joon saw anxiety, fear, and determine in Mir's eye. It plastered a soft smile on his lips. Ever so slowly, not to scare Mir more than he already is, Joon reached out his hand to brush Mir's hair with the tip of his fingers.

"Too much?" he asked when Mir flinched under his touch. He stopped and retracted his hand, trying to hide any emotion from his face.

Mir shook his head and closed his eyes, invited Joon to continue. Joon did as he wanted, again brushing Mir's soft locks with tip of his fingers. He desperately wanted to hold Mir again now that he could, to ease his pain, his fears, but he also knew the timing isn't right.

"Try to get some sleep Mireu, you only sleep for awhile before," he cooed, dared himself to touch Mir's jaw line. "Sorry," he whispered when Mir avoided his touch.

"Do you always call me that?" Mir asked when Joon's fingers were on his hair again, combed it softly.

"Call you what?"

"Mireu," Mir answered, placed his hand down but kept closing his eyes.

Joon thought about it. "Mostly," he replied.

"Tell me about us," Mir spoke.

"What do you want to know?"

"What are we used to do? What am I used to feel? What are you think about us?"

The elder Mir's hair affectionately. "You are here now and that's what important. It's okay if you don't remember anything about us. We can start a new start."

For quite a long time, Mir doesn't say any word, but his gestures said he didn't agree with Joon. Joon smiled at his love's stubbornness. "Let's take one step at a time," he coaxed. "Let's prepare for the time to come. I'm more than happy that we can be this close and it's more than enough for now."

Mir cracked his eyes open and met with Joon's warm eyes stared at him lovingly. He smiled and the smile is the most beautiful smile Mir ever seen. "I'm happy we could be together now and I'm proud you are so strong to face it all. You trust me to touch you like this," he said, bolting his words by threaded his fingers on Mir's hair. "I can't be any happier."

Those words were spoken by sincerity that brought tears to Mir's eyes. He made a move to wipe it away but Joon was faster. He wiped the tear with his thumb carefully. "You've fulfilled all my wishes Mireu, thank you."

Mir then fell asleep for another couple hours. This time he slept with no dream, just a peaceful sleep that exactly fit his need. Mir went to get ready, since Dr. Kim will be there any time now. The thought of meeting the doctor calmed him down. He needed help to sort his feeling from all the mess they'd been through. Until now, Mir doesn't really know what he feels about the news that they actually were chasing those men. Some part of him wish they will suffer as hard as he is, but the other part wish he won't be have any relation with those guys again.

"Mireu?" Joon's soft call drifted him back from his thought. "Dr. Kim is here."

Mir nodded and followed Joon to meet the doctor that waited for them in the living room. “Mir,” she greeted warmly, rose from her seat.

The copper haired took her hand and shook it firmly. “Dr. Kim. I’m sorry to make you drive all the way here.”

“It’s alright,” she shrugged. “Joon, it’s nice to see you both here. Where’s Eunah?”

“She went to family home,” Mir replied.

“I will go out so you both could have some privacy,” Joon excused himself.

Dr. Kim observed Mir suddenly uneasy movement. He his arm and entwined his hands together on his lap. “No, it would be nice if you stay, of course if you don’t mind, Mir?”  

Both men exchanged glance before the younger nodded. Joon sat at the same couch with Mir while Dr. Kim is on the opposite couch.

“I see that you aren’t use a long sleeve anymore, Mir. It’s a very good progress,” she expressed.

Joon tilted his head, looked at Mir’s sleeve that up to his elbow. Now that she mentioned it, Joon realized Mir always wore big clothes that drawn him into and a long sleeve. No, it’s not because he’s cold. Joon wondered why he didn’t realize and what else that he didn’t see.

Mir nodded. “I’m stay with Joon last night,” he said, surprised Joon, but not the doctor.

“That’s interesting. What do you feel about it?”

It took Mir more time to speak up. “I feel calm. It helps me to calm in this situation.”

“You feel comfortable?”

“Yes.”

Dr. Kim smiled soothingly. “How the situation affected you?”

“I don’t like it,” Mir voiced low. He rubbed his arm, suddenly alerted. “It squeezes me.”

“From one to ten, how much it bothers you?”

“Eight.”

Joon saw Mir shifted uncomfortably on his seat. He looked up to Dr. Kim, asked for her advice. Dr. Kim nodded a little to him, signaling to do what he wanted to do. Joon reached out slowly to hold Mir’s hand lightly. Mir watched their hands together before clasped his fingers between Joon’s.

“Do you want to stop the search Mir?”

“I don’t know,” Mir answered honestly. Joon could feel Mir’s hand broke in a cold sweat. He moved his thumb to draw soothing circles on Mir’s back hand.

“I’m scared to know I still have to do something with them, yet I want them to get caught. I want them to feel what I feel,” Mir said guilty.

“It’s normal to be afraid and angry, Mir. You’ve been through a lot horrible thing. Not everyone could survive like what you do. You are strong and have a strong will as well. You keep showing progress too. I believe we will arrive at our destination sooner than we predicted before,” Dr. Kim praised sincerely. She smiled warmly toward the couple.

Mir blushed and averted his gaze away from Dr. Kim just to find Joon smiled the same way to him. “And about your comfort with Joon, it tells us that you are ready to believe other again. It proves you slowly open toward people near you, although it’s a man. You beat your fear and perception.”

“Will I be able to remember anything?” Mir asked anxiously.

“When you are ready for it, your mind will allow you to remember. Your memories didn’t disappear. It lies inside your mind, locked, but always there. By the time you could remember, that means you success to move on.”

Later on, Joon asked for Dr. Kim's opinion when she's finished. "Mir started to ready for that," Dr. Kim reassured him in front of the closed door. "His mind probably blocked all the memory from that night, but if he sees the culprit right in front of him, he will recognize."

"Is it alright?"

Dr. Kim frowned. "Mir would force to remember that night. It's a possible he will be very scared and have a panic attack, but he's more stable now. He will be fine, just make sure you are with him, it will be a big help for him."

She turned to bid her goodbye. She saw Joon's thoughtful expression that made her smile. "Talk to him about those entire witness thing. It will make him think that he could do something to help. It's good for him to know that, avoid him to feel useless, one of the syndromes."

Joon nodded. "Thank you for coming, Dr. Kim."

"It's not a big deal. Take care, both of you," she said cheerfully as she walked pass the guards. "Officers, I'll take my leave."

The two officers saluted her.

"Joon?"

Joon turned away to find Mir standing behind him. The younger extended his hand that held Joon's phone. "Your phone rang. I thought it might be important."

The raven haired took his phone, thanking the younger before checked the device. He was about to open the missed calls when it suddenly ringing again. He looked at the caller id before he picked it.

"Hello."

"Oppa," his best friend, Hyuna said over the phone. "Am I disturbing?"

"No, what's going on?" Joon answered, looked at Mir who peered back at him before left to give him some privacy.

"Ah, it's nothing much, really. It just Rain oppa asked me to give you your contract. He finally gets your permission to take a furlough."

Joon threaded his hand to his hair. "I might be can't take it for awhile. Could you safe it for me until then?"

"I can bring it to you now, oppa. I'm currently near. Are you home?"

The man looked up to where Mir curled up on the couch, followed his every move. "I'm on Mir's actually."

"Really? Then I'll keep the contract for you. Mir oppa is alright, isn't he? Tell him I said hi."

"He's fine and thank you. Hyung could've just kept it for me."

"Its fine oppa," she dismayed. "I don't do anything. Okay then. I will leave you lovebirds alone. Are there only you two at the house? How lucky to be with your lover at time like these while I'm stuck with crazy schedule."

Joon chuckled to her nagged. "I'll see you around Hyuna."

"Yeah sure."

Mir watched him when Joon sat at the same couch with him. "Do you have to go somewhere?" he asked with tiny voice. Joon saw anxiety swirled around the smoky eyes. Mir suddenly looked tensed and rigid. He pulled his blanket like it was a barrier to keep him from fell apart. Joon shook his head, a reaction based on his instinct to give the younger what he needs.

"I won't go anywhere," he soothed. Mir almost immediately calmed. He rested his back and loosens his grip from the blanket. He lets out one of his hand from the blanket and reached onto Joon. Joon held his hand, caressed it with two hands to provide some warm.

"Your hand is cold."

This time, Mir shook his head. "Your hands are too warm. You still have the fever."

Joon continued on caressed Mir's hand which not too cold now. "I've drink medicine. It will go away soon. How are you feeling?"

"I'm not sure," he answered. Mir moved slowly, drabbed his blanket over Joon so they both clad under the warm blanket. Joon slid his fingers between Mir's, overjoyed with the small action.

"There's something I want to tell you, Mir, it's about the investigation."

Mir watched Joon intensely, waiting with anxiety what the elder will say. Joon started to draw soothing circles on his back hand. “We wonder if you want to help with the investigation.” Joon studied when Mir’s expression became careful, his eyes darken.

“What can I do?”

“Hyung asked if you could distinguish the culprits.”

The raven haired could saw the impact coming as clear as day. Mir shrunk himself, as if he wished he could disappear. It’s a good thing that Mir squeezed Joon’s hand tight, signed Joon that he didn’t completely lost the younger.

“It’s okay if you don’t want to, Mireu, no one will force you to do anything.” Joon fisted his free hand, controlled his self not to pull the younger into his arms harshly. Slowly, he kept reminding himself.

“I don’t- I don’t know,” Mir replied finally, lower his gaze to his lap. However, not even once Joon took his eyes away from the copper hair. Joon waited quietly for Mir to regain his composure, to once again look at him. “Do you think I’m ready for it?” was the first sentence that passed from his lips when he finally looked at Joon in the eyes.

“Yes.” was the answer that slipped from Joon’s mouth without the second thought. It’s a single word which spoken with full of faith, leaving no room for doubt.

“What if I falter?” he whispered almost inaudible.

“You won’t,” Joon promised. “I won’t let you.”

Mir watched the man next to him, the man that always has faith in him when he himself didn’t dare to have a faith. That only man that ready, without second think, to do whatever he needs to do to safe Mir. Mir was at lost for word and there’s no word needed. Joon could saw exactly through him, through layers of defense, mask, and pretending.

Because he can’t stay any longer, Joon slowly pulled Mir into his arms. He once again held Mir like the last night. He sighed in content when he felt Mir’s body heat on him. Joon closed his eyes, filled his lungs with the very scent of Mir.

Mir lets Joon to embrace him. Snuggling his head to rest on Joon’s chest, he too, closed his eyes. “You know,” he whispered softly, but Joon heard him. “Being this close with you always feels like two side of blade for me.”

“At one side, I’m scared, very scared. My heart’s pounding hard and sometimes I feel like paralyze,” Mir continued. Ever so slowly, he lifted his hand and placed it on Joon’s shoulder. Mir pressed lightly, just enough for Joon to realize what he wanted. Just like what he thought, Joon complied and brought Mir closer to his body.

“On the other side, I feel really safe. I can’t even describe it with words. I feel like I’m not alone. Even when I feel scared when I’m too close with you, I know I have someone who always there for me, ready to slow me down when I run too fast for hide.”

The younger gripped Joon’s fabric cloth, without words shown how much he was in need for the elder to be with him. And Joon really needs every ounce from his cell not to cry, let alone showered Mir with kisses, adored him.

“I want you to at least know that,” Mir told him. “I want to at least give you that.”

“Sweetheart,” Joon murmured, brought Mir’s hand to his lips and kissed it softly. Mir hid his shiver well, but it still can’t deceive Joon. He lets go of Mir’s hand and placed his own hand on Mir’s back. “You already give me everything I could ever ask.”

Mir opened his mouth, was about to answer when a very loud sound heard from the front door. Joon suddenly alerted, rose from his seat in a matter of second and pulled Mir to his back. It happened in a flash. Mir hid behind Joon, an unknown feeling gathered in the pit of his stomach.

Three things happened altogether. The loud bang heard once again. At almost the same time, the front door slammed opened and Mir’s lost into his nightmare.

“Hello sweetie,” one of them said with too familiar voice.

***

“So I will ask you once again, who do you work for?” Doojoon asked the man in front of him with a monotone.

“I will answer once again that I refuse to tell you. I have the right to keep silence until my lawyer told me otherwise.”

“You lose your right when you someone,” Doojoon barked. “How it feels Xin, have a warm body under you? Are you excited? You enjoy it, don’t you? Hearing that boy screamed helplessly. You feel the power, the control you never had.”

Xin smiled disgustingly. No wonder his mind travelled back to that night. Doojoon could saw the winning smiled and he eager to erase it. “It’s a pity you need to someone to have control. They don’t really give you that, hmm? They think you are weak; you don’t deserve to have control. You just a coward, a pain in the for them, you just a looser; one they can replace easily.”

The smiled on Xin’s lips falter, replaced by anger. “You don’t know anything!”

“Oh I know it better than you,” Doojoon rested his back, boringly checked on his nails. “If you that important, they already help you, didn’t they? Do you think they care? Don’t kidding me, Xin. They leave you wasted in cold cell.”

Doojoon leaned in, pieced Xin with his cold eyes. “You know that too. You wonder why they don’t do anything yet. You wonder whether they’ve forget you. You scare they will serve you as bait, one to drift our attention from them. And that’s what you exactly are; a bait. Useless, forgotten bait.”

“SHUT UP! SHUT UP YOU ! SHUT UP!”

“Go on, keep screaming. Yelling like a baby, you know that’s the main reason why they left you. You are weak. They don’t need you anymore.”

“YOU BASTARD, YOU LIED!” Xin exploded, bang his fist on the table. Doojoon doesn’t even flinch. He knew it took just a little more to break the man. “He loves me, he loves me,” Xin whispered, more to himself. That’s a key point for Doojoon that made him smirked.

“Oh is he? Didn’t he just use you? You feel it too, right, the cold and distant in his eyes when he held you? When you ed him, you saw the disgusted in his eyes, don’t you? Well, it’s not new isn’t it? Is there anyone want you anyway, you just useless doll.”

Xin slammed his chair to the wall near him and started to pace back and forth. His face red and tears of angered shimmered his eyes. He pulled his hair harshly. Doojoon followed his every movement, didn’t move an inch from where he sat.

“Did he ever scream your name, Xin? Did he ever scream how he loves it with you? Do you recognize the fake and bitter in his voice? Did he scrunch in disgusted when you screamed his name? It’s fine if you don’t realize it. He’s talented, you know? He had experiences. He did it too many times before, you just another prey. You like how he’s acting like a ? Imagine he did the same thing to the other in your group, to your boss.”

There’s a glint in Xin’s eyes that made Doojoon flicked his fingers. “Ah, you saw it too right? Who is it this time, your boss, or your partner?” Doojoon saw Xin fisted his hand and he got the answer. “To your boss, lovely. Did he whimper? I bet he did a better job than when he was with you. Imagine what they’re doing now. Without you around, I believe they are high in ecstasy now, no one to interrupt. Leave Xin in jail as bait and at the same time get rid of him. It’s a double win. Easy.”

”DON’T TALK ABOUT HIM THAT WAY!! MIN WOULDN’T-“ he shut his mouth quick, but it’s too late.

Doojoon smiled lazily. “So it’s Min. See, its easy right? If you cooperate from the beginning, you don’t have to know about what they did at your back.”

 Xin stormed to his direction and grabbed his collar, but Doojoon already waited for it. He needed Xin to do the first movement so he could do what he wanted to do from the first time. Doojoon dodged the fist that flew to his face and threw his own punch. His punched earned a loud cracked sound that satisfied him.

Xin lost his balance and fell, blood oozed from his nose. “It’s a pity, but you will in charge against the law by attempt to attack policeman. With the multi-criminal you did, I don’t sure you could watch the sunrise again.”

Doojoon stepped away from the interrogation room, leaving a sobbing Xin to the officers on duty. He walked to his office, ready to call out all his people to begin a new search of Min. They are close, Doojoon could feel it.

He cursed when one officer’s running to him with stern face that Doojoon very well know. “What happened?”

“Subject’s sister, Eunah called in line two. It’s code red.”

He sprinted to the phone machine. “Eunah-ssi,” he said once he picked the phone.

It never a good news when the person’s crying over the phone. “Tel me what happened,” he ordered military, forced Eunah to control herself and speak.

“M-Mir,” Eunah said between her sobs.

“What happened with Mir?”

“He-he was nowhere in home,’ Eunah said shakily. Doojoon ordered non-verbally to the officer to gather everyone for the urgent meeting.

“Where are the officers?” Doojoon asked over the phone.

“Th-they were unconscious in front of the door. I saw b-blood,” Eunah said, now hysteric. “Mir and Joon aren’t here. T-there’re blood on the couch.”

After that Eunah cried broken heartedly. “I’ll be there in a second. Don’t touch anything,” Doojoon commanded and ended the call.

“!”

***

Joon awake in a dark and cold room. He’s more than weak. His head throbbed in pain. He just remembered what happened in vain. He remembered he grabbed Mir’s wrist tight to keep him hiding behind his back. He then remembered the two men stormed in and how Mir trembled violently behind him.

He focused at the person on his right, who are getting closer to Mir. He grabbed Mir very hard in one hand while his other hand shield himself from the man’s attacked. He didn’t see another one approached them and later on Joon felt like a fire runs through his shoulder. It forced him to kneel to feel such a pain.

His body was too shocked to move, but when he felt Mir’s screamed, he forced himself to move and shove one of them away. He never once lost his gripped on Mir. Then he felt like something exploded on his head and he fell into unconscious.

Joon brought his body to seat abruptly when he realized he doesn’t hold Mir anymore. He almost fell into unconscious again by the throbbed on his head and unbearable pain on his left shoulder. He felt the warm of blood trickled down his arm, sticky and wet. It numbed his shoulder down until his left hand. Even move his fingers feels like hell, like there’s a fire in his vein.

But he doesn’t have time to feel the pain. He needs to find Mir now. Joon once again tried to get up from what he realized a king sized bed. He grunted.

“Ah, you are awake.”

The voice brought Joon’s attention to the person that actually standing there the entire time, watching him. The dark room shaded that person’s face, hid it from Joon. That person walked to turn the light on, so Joon could have a better look.

Joon’s eyes squirmed while adjusting. Once he could see just fine, he traveled his gaze to the person and finally he could saw the face clearly.

“YOU?!” Joon gasped.

Written By: Honey June

Umm, hello?

I feel really sorry to leave this quite a long time, but i'm eager to make this chapter turns out good.

So I hope this chapter worth the long wait. ^^