Clockwork Forgotten
Clockwork Disturbed [HIATUS]
No. There must be something I could do.
Choongjae had been sitting in darkness for about an hour now, just going through the events of the day that changed his life forever. How could one light switch have such an effect on everything? They really weren't kidding when they said that tampering with even the most insignificant object could change the outcome of things.
He knows that he couldn't change the past again; if he could, he would have ran back to the center in a heartbeat. There must be something else he could do. If only he could find out if Sunho is alive at least... then he could start from there, find out where he lives currently, make him fall in love all over again, and treat him better this time around.
But then, Choongjae couldn't help but let his pessimistic side take over, What if Sunho really did die, and there would be no turning back? What if that light switch represented his life, and I just switched it off forever? It couldn't be as drastic as that, could it?
Choongjae battled with himself all night, until he fell asleep on the floor from the physical and emotional exhaustion.
The next morning, Choongjae was awoken by his doorbell ringing. He quickly sprang to life, all thoughts of rest and sleep forgotten no matter how tired he still felt, as he dashed to the door and threw it open, a little spark of hope igniting in him that it might be Sunho. Maybe they're still friends at least, or he went back to the time when they still didn't live together.
He couldn't hide the utter disappointment on his face, though, as he saw that it was just his closest friend, Eric.
"Geez, you look awful. Didn't you get enough sleep?" Eric pushed past him into his apartment, before setting down some food on the table. Eric is his long time childhood friend, who has set it upon himself to take care of the younger every now and then. Choongjae sighed and trudged back to his bedroom to change his clothes, and when he went out Eric already had breakfast set.
"No. I'm just..." Choongjae but his lower lip to stop himself from telling the other what happened. Eric was indeed the one friend he could tell everything to, but not this. He didn't tell him anything about using the Clockwork Rewind service, because he knew that the other would have done everything to stop him from doing something so drastic; and for once, he realized just how right and meaningful Eric's nagging is. He wished that he told him before this mess happened, but it was too late now. At the very least, Eric didn't need to know that he messed up.
"Just...? Geez, what time did you go to bed that you can't even finish your sentence?" Eric was holding out Choongjae's chopsticks to him while shaking his head and rolling his eyes, figuring that the younger might have stayed up doing god knows what again.
Choongjae took the chopsticks gratefully, but food was the last thing in his mind right now. He needed to make things right again, and to do that, he would need to go back to the center.
"I need to go take care of stuff today. Can you pass on to the boss that I'm taking a sick leave, hyung?"
Eric looked at him as if he had grown an extra head. "Are you going crazy, or are you forgetting what day it is? Unless your emergency is about your parents or something equally important, you can't miss your important presentation."
"The presentation?" Choongjae echoed, then all of a sudden it dawned on him: this was the day the presentation was supposed to be done, the day Sunho died. On impulse, he ran to his study and his computer.
The presentation is done. Choongjae mused as he checked through everything. Yep, I had done everything perfectly. Except for that ing damn light switch. I can't believe I messed this up! Choongjae was tempted to throw the computer to the ground, but he thought better of it as he took a few deep, calming breaths and went back into the kitchen where Eric was.
"You sure you're okay? You're terribly disoriented this morning, more so than usual, even." Eric raised an eyebrow as Choongjae poked at his food. He nodded absentmindedly.
"You know what, hyung, you should give the presentation." He suddenly blurted out after a few moments of contemplation. He had been preparing it to gain a promotion- but now, getting a higher salary and better benefits was pushed down his priority list. They seemed useless when the one person he lived for wasn't even here anymore. He had to find out what happened to Sunho, so that he could plan his life accordingly once more.
"What the hell are you talking about? You've been wanting that promotion for years!" Eric protested, worry written on his face. Choongjae was not acting like himself this morning- and he suspected something had gone wrong, very wrong.
"This... this is very important to me, hyung." Choongjae touched Eric's arm slightly, looking at him with pleading eyes. "Don't ask me what it is. It's something far more important than the presentation, the promotion, even my own life... Just let me go, okay?"
Eric nodded soundlessly, lips pursed as he tried to read Choongjae, but to no avail. It was rare that the younger appeared desperate, to the point that he'd even ignore his work. But there was nothing he could do. He couldn't just meddle in Choongjae's affairs, after all.
"All right... but if you ever need my help, you know I'm ready to run to you at any time. Don't hesitate to call me, no matter what time it is, no matter where you are. I'll drop everything and come to you. Okay?"
Choongjae nodded as he squeezed the older's hand, grateful that Eric chose not to ask. If he did, he didn't know what he was going to tell him. "Thank you, hyung... thank you." His words were simple, yet Eric knew from the tone of his voice just how much this simple exchange meant to him.
After Eric had left for work, Choongjae went the opposite way to the center. He didn't know what to do. He didn't even know if there was something he could do. But he had to try. He had to try.
Although trying had never wielded good consequences.
As the cold air blew at him from all sides the minute he stepped through the automatic glass doors, the same receptionist with the same regulation smile peered at him from behind the desk. "Welcome, sir! Are you here to get your insignia earlier than required?"
"No, I'm not." Choongjae took a deep breath before speaking. "I was wondering if there is someone I could ask about the service. You see, everything went wrong, and I... I just want answers."
"I'm terribly sorry, but we are not responsible for any change in your desired outcome." The receptionist parroted robotically, the unnerving smile never fading.
"Look, I understand that, and I'm not here to blame you for anything. I just want answers. I want to talk to that guide clerk who was with me. Please." Choongjae was pleading, begging, desperate. "I just need to know if Sunho is alive. Please."
"All right then, I will contact him for you. You may sit on the bench over there and wait. Thank you!" That same smile, as if she didn't hear anything else except what she had to do. Is it really possible for a single human being to be so detached from other's emotions? But Choongjae couldn't find himself caring about her. Nothing mattered at that moment in time, except knowing what fate Sunho met.
The guide clerk that came with him arrived after a few minutes, his face grave, as he led Choongjae into a small, private room where they could talk. "That light switch changed more than you could ever imagine, Park Choongjae-ssi."
"I feared that was the case." Choongjae replied calmly, careful to keep his emotions in check. "Can't you at least tell me if Sunho is alive?"
"Oh, he is. Very much so. But I'm afraid..." The guide clerk hesitated, watching Choongjae's reaction. "That he doesn't know who you are."
"What do you mean?" Choongjae's fist clenched unconsciously as he listened intently to the guide clerk's next words.
"Let me explain a little bit of background about how changing the past works. After you have done changing what was marked, everything is quickly and automatically turned into computer data by the Mother PC back here, at our headquarters in the present, so that when we go back everything will be seamlessly in place as if nothing had happened. So in other words, you were standing in the middle of computer codes, Park Choongjae-ssi. And do you know what that means?" Choongjae shook his head, to which the clerk sighed grimly. "That means that you were essentially a computer virus standing smack dab in the middle of important computer codes, which is why it is vital that you had to be extracted so that you prevent contaminating any more of the codes for your past, and therefore prevent from changing your desired outcome. And it is not only that- the codes also included the past and memories of the people who are connected with you, as it is necessary to change the codes for their past as well in order to prevent disparity with memories in the present. Do you see where I'm going?"
"But what the hell does that have to do with Sunho forgetting me, then?" Choongjae snapped, frustrated and annoyed that this man just couldn't get straight to the point.
"It means that the light switch contained the codes for Lee Sunho's memories of you." The guide clerk looked at him pointedly. "Your relationship, your past, your existence... all of it. And by turning it off, you made him forget about you. Forever. And I'm afraid there's nothing we can do about it."
Choongjae stayed rooted to the spot for a few moments, slowly taking in everything the guide clerk just said.
"At the very least though... he is still alive." He finally blurted out quietly. The guide clerk nodded sympathetically.
"I really do wish there's something we could do. I'm very sorry."
"No, don't be. It was all my fault anyway." Choongjae finally stood up, seemingly in a daze as he bowed to the guide clerk. "Thank you."
He went out of the center with higher hopes than he had had that morning.
At least Sunho is still alive.
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