Clockwork Altered
Clockwork Disturbed [HIATUS]
"Do you have any other questions before I fire this baby up?" The operator asked Choongjae as he made himself comfortable inside the machine. It was fashioned almost like the inside of an airplane, although smaller as it held only three people- him, the operator, and a guide clerk. Choongjae shook his head. He had nothing else he wanted to ask; he told the marker clerks what he wanted to change specifically, they marked it, then he goes back and changes it. Period. Seemed simple enough. He didn't want or need to know anything else; all he wanted to do was go back, so that he may bring back the only love of his life that he neglected to take care of.
And he vowed to himself that when he comes back to the new present, he will take care of him better this time around.
The thoughts of holding Sunho in his arms again, like he's always done every night when they go to bed, of waking up next to Sunho in the morning and be the first person he sees, of kissing him when he gets home from a hard day's work thereby brightening his day all over again; all those thoughts were what motivated him to go through with this, no matter how dangerous and uncertain it may be.
But he was sure, if he follows all the instructions, everything will be all right.
"All right then, may I just strictly remind you of some rules that we need to emphasize, though." The guide clerk cut his thoughts short. "You're strictly not allowed to alter anything except for the ones the marker clerks have specified. It is also strictly forbidden, and I cannot emphasize how forbidden, to interact with any living thing, person or animal, that you encounter in your past. Furthermore, anything you do in your past is up to you and is your sole responsibility- any mistake that you make, whether intentional or otherwise, may alter your desired outcome and will therefore not be covered by us. Also, you are only allowed to do this once. So please think about what you are going to do carefully, as you absolutely cannot do redos after you're done."
Choongjae listened carefully to everything the clerk had to say, and after he was done, he couldn't help but be curious about a couple of things. "Why aren't we allowed to interact with anyone? It wouldn't matter since it was in the past, right?"
"Because," The clerk looked at him seriously. "Your memories and your past are not experienced by you alone. Obviously, anyone or anything you have interacted with will also have the same memories and experiences. If you interact with them, you will risk altering their past and their memories as well, which may then change your desired outcome. When you go back to the past, you effectively become you in your past- though you now also have the foresight of your future, which technically is your present, and you then will be able to change how the future, your new present, transpires. Therefore, it would be wise to ignore them if they interact with you- as how they interact with you will stay the same in the past no matter what you do- which will then explain why they will also sometimes answer even if you don't, because they are acting upon a past that has already happened. If you interact with them they will become aware of you and become aware that you are different- and therefore adjust how they react accordingly, which will then alter their memories and past and thus, your desired outcome. Do you understand? I know it is confusing, but this is the best way I can explain it."
"So... in short... when I go back to my past, I become one with my past me, and if I interact with the person I then change their memories, which will then change everything else, right?" Choongjae didn't really see the necessity of explaining it in full the way he did. The clerk nodded sheepishly.
"Yes. Sorry, I tend to be long-winded sometimes. Anyway, once this machine is in motion, we are not allowed to speak to each other anymore, as it is important that we keep utter silence. Once we arrive in the past, I will be giving you instructions from here via an earset which is not going to be seen or heard by anyone in your past, should you come across people. It is vital that you do NOT make any noise whatsoever- even limit the sound of your breathing, if you can. Because any sound you make will make the people or animals in your past aware that you are different- and thus they will act differently as well. Do you have any other questions?"
Choongjae took a deep breath before closing his eyes to calm his wildly beating heart. It was now or never. "No. Let's do this."
The operator pressed some buttons and finally pulled a lever down, before sitting down on the seat opposite Choongjae's. Soon, the machine made whirring sounds as it came to life, and then Choongjae suddenly understood the warnings that were presented in the contract. His ears felt like they were going to burst from the loud, painful ringing; his eyes were slowly starting to blur, as if everything in front of him was moving in super speed, much like those time lapse videos of cities that he sometimes watches; and he could feel the onset of a raging headache that throbbed madly inside his head, almost as if he was nursing the worst hangover of his life, except ten times worse than even that. The ride finally stopped having only lasted 2 minutes, but he felt as though he went back an eternity. The operator beckoned for him to remain seated for a few to re-orient himself as the whirring sounds slowly died out. He took a few deep breaths, willing the oxygen to come rushing into his lungs once more, as he felt the headache slowly fade away and his vision and hearing turn back to normal. After about ten minutes of rest, the guide clerk handed him an earset which he clipped to his right ear.
The guide clerk donned a headset himself and tinkered with some settings on the computer. "Can you hear me clearly?"
Choongjae nodded, fully taking into heart the instruction of not speaking nor making a sound. He did not want to risk messing anything up.
"This earset sends your brainwaves to my computer which converts it to human language, so essentially, I can read your mind. If you need to ask me questions throughout the process, all you need to do is think, and I'll reply to you through the headset. Are you all set?"
Yes. Choongjae replied in his head almost automatically, and with a signal, he set down on the path that has been marked.
Everything in his surroundings seemed like they were in a haze. There was a significant absence of color; not fully, but it seemed as though the majority of the things in his environment were in black and white. At least it's not in Sepia. Choongjae remarked to himself in an attempt to lighten his mood. He heard a quiet snicker come from the headset.
Finally, he had come to the one point in his past that he wanted to change: in his study, smack dab in the middle of his desk, lies his computer- clearly marked with a red flashing light. He approached it gingerly, careful not to disturb anything, as he sat down on the chair and started typing away.
His goal was to finish the presentation that had cost him everything.
This was the sole thing that fueled all his anger and frustration that he took out on Sunho the day he died. It seemed like such a simple thing that one usually takes for granted, but to Choongjae, succeeding at this meant that he could get back his whole world. He wouldn't have a frustration to vent, he wouldn't have a bad day at work, and he wouldn't fight with Sunho and cause him to leave in the middle of the night, thereby avoiding the accident that took his life. To think that everything started with a simple thing- and so, the solution could only be simple as well.
He finished everything and made sure everything was in order; he double, even triple checked all the details before he was sure he was ready to leave. He could hardly wait until he gets back. He followed all the instructions cleanly and without fail, so now he was sure everything would fall smoothly back into place.
Alright. Now don't touch anything else; we'll extract you from there. He suddenly heard the clerk speak through his headset. He nodded and walked around the room one last time taking a last look at everything, knowing that it would all be the same when he gets back.
Okay, be prepared to be extracted in ten seconds. The clerk then instructed after a few minutes. Choongjae's heart beat in excitement; would his beloved be waiting for him by the door, like always? However, since he was distracted by that wonderful thought, he lost his concentration for a moment and, out of habit, flipped the light switch off.
DON'T TOUCH THAT! The guide clerk's scream came too late as Choongjae had already flipped the switch. In a panic, he tried reaching for it again to flip it back up, but he found his surroundings vaporizing into nothing, until he was suddenly inside the machine once more.
Choongjae peered at the guide clerk nervously, who merely sighed as he ticked off something in his clipboard. "We are not responsible for any change in the desired outcome." He parroted the same words in the contract, emphasizing them; but before Choongjae could reply or retort, the operator beckoned for him to sit down and stay quiet, as they had to quickly get out of there before the changed past intertwines with the future once more.
The trip back wasn't so bad. Choongjae only experienced some minor ringing in his ears and a slight bit of nausea, but otherwise, he was fine. He was able to get up immediately after they had landed back into the present; he was about to pull the guide clerk aside to ask some questions but he found that he had vanished. He was nervous once more; sweat began to prick at his forehead as he approached the same receptionist.
"Hello, sir. Did everything go well in your journey?" The receptionist asked in that same fake, sweet voice, obviously asking the question out of protocol rather than concern.
"Has anything... changed for me?" Choongjae asked in a whisper. He didn't know why he was whispering; but he tends to get that way when he was unsure of something.
"I don't know, sir. That's for you to find out." She answered with the same, robotic smile that she donned right when he first met her. Choongjae bowed and thanked her politely and she bowed back, telling him to come back within two days time to get the tattoo of the insignia.
Please. I would give up anything. Please don't let anything be messed up. Please give me my Sunho back. Choongjae silently prayed on the train home. He mentally beat himself up for losing his mind for a moment. Why? Why did I have to ruin everything and touch that ing light switch? If that's what causes me to lose Sunho forever, I'm going to find a bridge I can throw myself off of.
After the uneventful train ride, he quickly ran to his apartment, not wanting to waste any time. He had already envisioned Sunho waiting by the door, or otherwise cooking in the kitchen; he wanted to believe that everything would be back to normal. He didn't want to believe that all he'd done had been for nothing, because of one simple mistake.
He rang the doorbell, sweat already trickling down his back as he panted fiercely. Panic began to set in when no one answered the door; but Choongjae remained optimistic, thinking that Sunho must be in the shower or busy cooking. He entered the pin number and ventured inside.
His face fell at the sight.
A room in complete darkness, with no signs of life. And yet, even though in the very deepest parts of his very being he knew that something was wrong, completely wrong, he still remained in denial. He told himself that Sunho must have just merely gone out, possibly to buy ingredients for their dinner. He glanced at his watch, and though it was already too late for him to be out and about (Sunho usually started cooking at 5pm, and it was already 5:30), he still convinced himself that maybe he had just wanted to stroll around a bit.
He the lights but he stayed rooted by the front door, taking a deep breath and preparing himself for what he was (or wasn't) going to find. He knew very well that he was fooling himself. All these telltale signs, and yet he still wanted to believe that he hadn't messed up. He was in complete denial, but a quick survey of the apartment they shared will prove him right or wrong.
He kicked his shoes off and placed them gingerly on the shoe rack, clenching his fist as he saw that it was empty save for a few of his own shoes. None of Sunho's. It was the first sign, yet he still refused to believe.
He ventured into the kitchen. Empty. The living room. Empty. He peered into the bathroom; there was only one toothbrush sitting lonely in the holder. Finally, he reached their bedroom. He gripped the doorknob so hard that his knuckles turned white.
No. Please. Don't let it be true. Please. He closed his eyes and opened the door, and when he opened them, it was just as he feared.
A single bed, and not the double bed he had gotten the day Sunho moved in with him.
He threw the closet door open. Only his own set of clothes, and none of the neatly pressed ones that Sunho kept in the same place.
His shoe closet was the same- shoes, all in his size, and none of Sunho's smaller ones.
Lee Sunho is gone. Lee Sunho never came back. Lee Sunho could possibly have never even existed.
And it was all because of a single light switch.
Choongjae fell to his knees in the middle of the empty room, his eyes dancing around the emptiness that he refused to acknowledge.
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A/N: Is the background ok for you guys, or is it too distracting? Please let me know in the comments.
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