Part Five

-Our Separation-

(Maybe, is this our fate?)

Tonight felt so cold as he walked down the street of Seoul with a cold wind brushed his entire body. The sky above him showed a very dark color, as if it followed his sorrow heart. His steps felt so heavy, hold him back to reach his destination. But deep inside his heart, he was grateful for this moment because he needed a time for himself to fully understand the situation that he was trapped in. He was lost in his own thought of blaming himself for everything that happened in his life. He hated himself for a stubborn nature that rooted in him, he hated himself for embedding a thought that ‘everything was fine’ to his mind when the reality was totally not.  

Yoona. The name that kept going into his mind without he could control it. After his confession two months ago, his friendship with her began to change. They promised each other to stay like they used to be, but sadly the reality was so different from the one they hoped for. He knew that she tried her best to act like usual, she tried really hard to make their friendship as normal as it could be, but what he could see was it didn’t feel the same anymore. Even until now, he didn’t know her feeling about his sudden confession because what he got right after he confessed was a tight hug, followed by a-hold-back-tears on the tip of her eyes that was ready to stream down her cheeks. He didn’t know the meaning behind it and he didn’t dare to ask her because he was the first one to say that he didn’t ask for her answer. No matter how many times he tried to read her mind through her dark-brown eyes, staring deeply into them, he still couldn’t find the answer.

‘Why a first love could be so painful like this?’

#

“What should we do now? I think Luhan doesn’t like this idea. He keeps avoiding me and doesn’t give me a chance to explain every single thing.” She said.

“I think we have to postpone it. I haven’t said anything to my daughter either. We have to wait for the perfect time to tell them.”

“How long we have to wait? He’s going to study abroad.” She said desperately.

He stared blankly into a space and let out another deep sigh before he said, “I don’t know. Do you think it isn't our fate?"

#

It’s d-day. The day when Luhan had to leave South Korea to go study abroad in New York and pursue his dream to become a successful businessman. It always had been his dream to study overseas and lived in there since he was a kid. And now the chance had come, but truthfully he wasn’t that excited anymore; not because he changed his mind of becoming a businessman, it’s just because when this day finally came, he found that he wasn’t ready to leave everything behind; his old life, his family, his friends, and his Yoona. He had just realized that all of them were so precious to him to the point that he couldn’t imagine what would his life be without them. Maybe it’s the feeling that everyone got whenever they had to separate from their loved-ones, but it made him realize how deep his love for them and how ignorant of him to care for them on the contrary. On the other side, he thought that maybe it’s the right time for him to walk away for a while from his own problems; the right time to escape from his family matter and the perfect time to forget his love for Im Yoona. His conflicted mind told him that maybe when he was far away from her, his love for her would disappear as time went by. Maybe it would help him to believe that he and she were meant to be as a best friend, and nothing more.

Flashback

Luhan and Yoona sat there in silence. None of them wanted to break this awkward silence as they were lost in their own thought. This day was their last day as a high schooler and the last day to spend the time together like this. Maybe, it’s much better if they spent it with something that could last long as happy memories, but unfortunately they weren’t in the right mood to do that. Because for them, this separation wasn’t something that deserved to be celebrated, this was the beginning of living without each other in their life. And that cruel fact hurt the bottom of their heart.

“So, you really have to leave, don’t you?” She asked as she stared blankly at the ground.

Her words pulled him back to his sense, making him tilted his head towards her. “Hmm. My Dad already prepared everything. Besides, it’s my biggest dream since I was a child.”

She nodded slowly several times, still looking down. “Why don’t you tell me that you’re going to study abroad beforehand? You’re going to stay there for five years, and maybe longer than that, yet you had just told me about this two days before your leaving.” She said these words as calmly as possible, trying to hide her anger. But, he knew Yoona very well. He could sense a profound disappointment in her words.

“I am so sorry, Yoong. I truly am. I want to tell you about this far away before my leaving, but I couldn’t. Those words won’t come out from my mouth. I am sorry.” He bowed his head, feeling so guilty towards her. He knew that it was much better fo