“Shorty!” Chanyeol shouted from the stage. “We need the lights in the pit to be a bit lower! Anyone who performs on this stage would be blinded by those lights!” He ended the sentence with a chuckle. Kyungsoo raised his thumb up to let Chanyeol know he had heard, not owning the same booming voice as his friend.

He lowered the lights, waiting for word from the tall stage worker that they were good. When he got the “Perfeeeect!”, a phrase he could mimic perfectly after working at the theatre with Chanyeol for a year and a half, he leaned back in the soft rolling chair and sighed. He turned the lighting board off so the light room was perfectly silent, no more droning machines.

He managed to close his eyes and calm himself down completely. He dreamed of all the beautiful things he could think of. Magnificent waterfalls crashing down into clear waters. Clouds travelling peacefully across the bluest sky. The fresh blanket of snow that had fallen on New Year’s a few days prior.

He always dreamed of Jongin last. Right now, it was hard for him to remember the details. At this point in his life, details mean nothing. It’s all the big picture. And his big picture didn’t include Jongin right now. When he said he’d wait, he didn’t know he’d be waiting three years.

But he still waited. He still checked his phone every day for that phone call. They hadn’t spoken since he drove his love to the airport.

Sometimes, Kyungsoo would have horrible thoughts. He would think of his love kissing someone else in America and shudder. He didn’t want to believe that maybe Jongin wasn’t coming back.

“It’s just a fantasy.” Chanyeol always told him.

“Are you calling the love he and I share a fantasy?” Kyungsoo would always reply.

“I’m just saying. Think about it. You’ve been working here for more than a year and I really think our sound guy has a thing for you.” This was a different reply. Chanyeol would usually respond with a simple “yes” but this was the first time Kyungsoo had heard of Jongdae having feelings for him. He soon forgot about it, and now here he was, peacefully asleep in the lighting room.

Come home, come home,

‘cause I’ve been waiting for you

For so long, for so long.

Right now there’s a war between the vanities,

But all I see is you and me,

And the fight for you is all I’ve ever known…

Ever known…

So come home.

When Kyungsoo finished singing, the congregation of stage crew clapped supportively. They always did. Jongdae used sound checks as an excuse to hear the other sing. He thought it sounded lovelier than any voice he had heard in that theatre. Kyungsoo hated doing it though.

Every time he got up to sing, everyone would close their eyes. They would focus on the sound and nothing else. He was always told he was a good singer, but no one could ever watch him and think he was beautiful. They just listen, and to him that just wasn’t enough.

“I love the way you sing.” Jongdae complimented quietly from the rolling chair in the sound booth. Kyungsoo smiled and thanked him insincerily. “No really.” He continued “I love the way you sing.”

“Really. Thanks.” Kyungsoo politely placed the microphone on Jongdae’s desk and turned to take his leave. His wrist was grabbed and he was forced to stop.

“Can we talk?” Asked the older. “There is something I need to tell you…”

The younger shook his head, pulling his wrist away. “I have to go to the airport.” He continued out the door, not turning to look back at the sound director. When he shut the door, Jongdae sighed and shook his head.

Kyungsoo went to the airport a lot. He wouldn’t sit inside. He had learned the hard way that people were suspicious of others who were just hanging around in airports. So he sat outside, on the bench closest to the most frequented exit. People began to recognize him after a while, but he would never keep his eyes off of that door. Jongin had promised to be back, and Kyungsoo would wait.

But he always made sure to be there on the anniversary. The same day, the same hour, the same terminal. He was convinced Jongin would make sure that was the plane he took. He was convinced that Jongin, somehow, would know that his love would be waiting for him there.

It was so cold. He had been running late so he drove here without grabbing his jacket. His long sleeve shirt just wasn’t enough. He wrapped his own arms around himself, trying his best to stay as long as he could. He wanted to close his eyes and picture a warm place, but he had to watch for Jongin. He had to keep his eyes on that exit.

Today, like the other days, was no different. His love did not exit those doors, and for the first time, he felt a hint of doubt in his heart. His gentle fingers squeezed hard on the bench and he gritted his teeth, feeling betrayed.

Maybe Chanyeol was right. Maybe Jongin wasn’t going to come back.

A brutal shiver was sent through his entire body and he stood, hurrying to his car. He got into the front seat and slammed the door. He proceeded to punch the steering wheel repeatedly before beginning to weep. The tears warmed his freezing, pale cheeks. He covered his face, afraid of strangers seeing him being so weak for no reason.

He wiped the tears away and struggled to turn on the car, maneuvering out of the airport’s parking lot as fast as he could and racing home. He was cold and angry and had never felt so heartbroken before. The loneliness was overwhelming.

“How could I be so stupid?!” he asked himself, punching the steering wheel again as he drove. “For three ing years I wait and wait. He’s not coming back so why am I wasting my time?!” He closed his eyes and almost growled at himself.

Kyungsoo arrived home much quicker than he thought he would. Most likely because he was speeding in an angry blur. He went to unclick his seat belt, realizing he had never fastened it in the first place. He took a few deep breaths, feeling lucky to be alive. He had just been so unsafe. His emotions had such a control over him…

He slipped out of his car, taking slow steps to his house. His parents died a year after he graduated from high school, so now he lived alone. He felt to attached to the house, he couldn’t bring himself to move out. He also believed that Jongin would look for him there.

“Maybe I should sell…” he mumbled. Maybe that would help him finally stop waiting.

His shaking hand reached out for the door knob and he realized just how cold it really was. January really was the coldest season. He had trouble grabbing a hold of the knob, he was shivering so much. When he finally got it firmly in his grasp, he noticed something odd.

The door was unlocked. He could turn the knob with no effort at all. It was odd of him to forget to lock the door. But he assumed he was thinking too much about the day and all his stress that morning to remember to lock it. There wasn’t much to take, anyway.

He stepped inside, closing the door behind him and turning to slip off his shoes. He almost tripped over an unknown object when he went to take his own shoes off. “What the--…” he knelt down, picking up the large sneaker on the mat and examining it. He looked inside the shoe and found a name written there.

“… Jong--…!”

Kyungsoo shot up, ripped his shoes off and ran through the house. “Jongin!” He cried, practically slipping at each sharp turn. “Jongin!” he shouted again, feeling tears well up in his eyes. Half from relief and half from fear. If Jongin was truly here, he’d be overjoyed. If he wasn’t he would break down.

“Jongin!?” He stopped at the entrance to his room. The door was ajar and he slowly opened it, a familiar creaking noise emanating through the entire room. He took slow steps inside and stopped short when their eyes met. Tears no longer fell; they were stuck to his cheeks.

A tall, beautiful man stood in his room. Even taller than three years ago. Even handsomer than three years ago. He tried to open his mouth and speak, but no words came out. Jongin looked sort of embarrassed, scratching the back of his head and speaking apologetically. “I still had the key… you weren’t home so I just came in. It was cold out…”

Kyungsoo nodded in agreement.

“Were you just wearing that? You must have been freezing.” The younger boy took concerned steps toward the shivering man and took his hand. “Your hands are ice cold. Here, let me—“

Kyungsoo began to sob, once again. He fell into Jongin and wrapped his arms tightly around the other’s chest. He buried his crying face into his love’s chest and squeezed him tightly. “I missed you so much.” He whined, muffled through the fabric of Jongin’s shirt. The younger didn’t speak, feeling the tears well up in his own eyes. He wrapped his arms around the smaller man and held him close, placing a gentle kiss on the top of his head. They hadn’t had any contact since Jongin had left. He needed to be close. They needed to be close.

By the end of the night they had caught up on everything. Jongin knew the names of each of Kyungsoo’s coworkers and Kyungsoo knew every dance instructor his love had had over the past few years. The older spoke of beautiful things that he saw at the theatre with an enthusiasm that Jongin had almost forgotten. Eventually, they grew quiet. Sitting on the couch together, facing each other. Jongin knew he was being admired as beautiful, and he was, but he still didn’t feel it like he wanted.

"Three years..." Jongin mused, admiring every single one of his love's features from his heart shaped lips to his large doe eyes. "You haven't aged a bit."

The older of the two laughed, sending a playful jab into Jongin's chest, not making him budge at all. "Everyone ages. Maybe not physically, but you always age in your heart."

"And your soul," the taller interjected, prompting a nod from Kyungsoo.

"Yes, your soul as well." Kyungsoo agreed.

Jongin stared into the eyes of his love and practically whispered "I have aged. My heart. My soul. It has grown and all for you."

The older laughed again, hiding his blush as he looked to the side.

"Watch me." Jongin continued, "With those eyes of yours. Watch me and fall in love with me like I've always wanted."

Kyungsoo looked up again and reached up to place his hand on the dancer's cheek. "I promise." Jongin turned his head to gently kiss his palm. "I promise I'll watch you."