Kyungsoo remembers very clearly when he fell in love with Jongin. He thinks about it often; reruns the scene over and over in his head. Despite everything, he can picture every moment. He can describe every detail of Jongin’s face with a frightening accuracy. Especially the expressions he makes when he dances.

“I love the way he dances.” The short man had said back when he was 17. He had leaned over to a friend as they sat in the outside eating area at school. He had picked this spot for months now because he knew that the dancer would always be in the practice room, dancing. From his seat, Kyungsoo could see every movement the boy, a year younger than him, made through the window.

He would say that every day. His friends thought nothing of it. Kyungsoo said he “loved” things very often. He was a visual person. He loved the sunset. He loved the clouds. He loved the flowers that grew in the courtyard. He loved anything beautiful. Jongin included.

But no, that wasn’t the day he fell in love with Jongin. None of those days were the day. All of those days are a blur to him now and he struggles to recall where he sat, what the table looked like, what shape the windows were. They didn’t matter to him much anyway.

There was the day that they met. A new semester had started and they had the same math class. Kyungsoo recalls being a little disgruntled when he realized he was in a math class with students a grade lower than him, but he also recalls that feeling lasting for only a few useless minutes. The dancer had arrived a few seconds after the bell, hurriedly bowing to the teacher and rushing to the only available seat.

Conveniently placed behind Kyungsoo.

He shifted awkwardly in his seat, sitting up a bit more, not caring if Jongin couldn’t see the board. Besides, he knew the younger boy was much taller than him. He could feel the other’s eyes piercing through him from behind. He wasn’t just looking, he was staring.

The older finally got fed up and turned around to ask “What do you want?!” in an angry hush. His cheeks turned a dark red when he saw the smirk on the dancer’s face. He got no response to his question and after a few moments huffed and returned to facing forward.

And then came the moment that Kyungsoo swears he can’t remember, mostly because of how humiliating it must have been for him.

Jongin leaned forward in his seat, his lips dangerously close to the ear of the other. “You’re cute.” The first words Kyungsoo ever heard his love say. He clenched his fist, about to turn around and hit the kid when he heard “Come and watch me up close tomorrow.”

He felt the lips become more and more distant before he was sure Jongin had settled in his seat once again. He was struck with fear, unable to pay attention to the lesson or the rest of the day for that matter. He was in a daze. Had the dancer really known he had been watching? The entire time? Like hell he would go and watch him up close. He doubted he would ever watch him again.

No love; not yet.

The next day was rainy. There was no way Kyungsoo could sit outside today and watch Jongin through the window. He wandered through the halls, his wet shoes squeaking through the half empty hallways as he searched for a place to eat his lunch. He almost walked right past the practice room and he thanks his past self every day for remembering that 162 was the room number.

He held his breath, staring at the door. He guessed, no, he knew that the dancer would be in there, practicing, being beautiful…

He clutched his lunch tightly to his chest, reaching out and pulling on the handle of the door. It made a high pitched noise when he turned it, and the door creeked as he pushed it out of its settled state. He let his head slip in first, finding a very strange sight.

Jongin, dressed comfortably in his casual dance practice clothes, sitting in the center of the dance floor on a chair.

“You’re usually practicing.” Kyungsoo commented, letting his body follow him into the room. There was no point in hiding it, Jongin knew he watched him.

The younger nodded. “Close the door.”

Kyungsoo hesitated but did as he was told. Dancing privacy… he rationalized.

“Sit.” It sounded like a request but not a question. Jongin, although younger and seemingly docile, had a commanding force inside of his soul. Kyungsoo could feel it. He always claimed to feel souls.

“In the chair?” he had asked, trying not to get the dance floor wet with his shoes. He’d hate to be the cause of a fall.

“Yeah. Please? It’s just the best place to watch me.”

“… Sure.”

The older waited until the other got out of the chair before sitting down himself. He placed his lunch under the chair, not feeling hungry at all. The butterflies in his stomach left no room for food. His hands were placed nicely on his lap and the younger laughed at that. Not in a teasing way, but in an adoring way.

“I’m going to really dance for you.” Jongin explained. Kyungsoo wasn’t really sure what that meant. Yeah, it was a better view, but he doubted it would do much to change the effect of the moves. He simply nodded in response, watching Jongin press a few buttons on the stereo to start the music.

If anyone were to ask Kyungsoo what is was like to watch Jongin at that moment, he wouldn’t be able to put it into words. He would never be able to put it into words. He felt as if he was watching someone’s heart leap and tuck and spread it’s warmth over the entire room. He couldn’t breath until he heard Jongin take a breath. He couldn’t blink, afraid to miss a beat. He found himself locked in a trance. His heart seemed like it stopped every time they made eye contact. Delicious eye contact. Occasionally, Jongin would brush his gentle fingers along Kyungsoo’s cheek in passing, but he never lingered there.

At the of the music, Kyungsoo felt like he wanted to cry. He would have, if it weren’t for the sudden crashing of their lips. Jongin had so gracefully placed himself on the older’s lap that he hadn’t even noticed. His eyes shut peacefully as he leaned in, accepting the kiss and unknowingly signing away the deed to his heart.

That was when Kyungsoo fell in love.

He was sure he fell in love.

“I love you.” He had sweared in a short breath between kisses.

But even Jongin knew that Kyungsoo fell in love with all that was beautiful.

The younger felt a doubt in his heart. How he had danced, was it truly that beautiful? Was it beautiful enough to be held the highest in Kyungsoo’s heart? No, it wasn’t. He knew he could do better. He knew that he could make his love truly love him back.

“I love you.” Jongin had replied in the same way, knowing that he truly meant it. “And you will love me.”

Jongin didn’t dance anymore. Not in school. Not where his love could see him. “Please, let me watch you.” Kyungsoo would beg, intwining their fingers and leaning on his shoulder. “Why won’t you dance for me anymore?”

Jongin would simply lift the smaller boy’s chin, pressing the softest of kisses to his lips. Then he would answer “The next time you watch me, I promise, you will fall in love with me.”

“But I am in love with you! I told you that 4 months ago.” Kyungsoo would whine.

Jongin held Kyungsoo in a long embrace. After what seemed like hours he admitted. “I’m leaving.”

“Leaving?!” was the natural reaction and the one that was delivered.

“For America. To go to a dance school.” Jongin explained. He couldn’t take the look of distress on Kyungsoo’s face. He buried his face in the older boy’s shoulder.

“I know you love dancing…” Kyungsoo began, tightening his grip on his love as if that will hold him longer.

“I love you more than dancing.” Jongin interrupted. “That’s why I’m going. I will come back and you will watch me dance and you will fall in love with me.”

A groan. “Jongin, I’ve already told you—“

“Please.” Almost a whimper. Was Jongin… crying? “Wait for me. Promise me that you will wait and when I return you will watch me and fall in love.”

A sigh. A hesitant smile and nod. “I promise.”

Author's Note: Thank you to all who already subscribed before the first chapter was released. Expect this to be updated with long chapters frequently.