To See the Moon Again

Watch Me.

In a hospital waiting room, Jongin sat quietly, handcuffed to a chair.

A few hours after finding the photo, he had recieved a phonecall from Baekyhun, confessing that Kyungsoo had gone into surgery moments before. Jongin can't remember much after that. The next thing he knew, he was in the hospital. His hands were balled into fists and his knuckles were slamming repeatedly into Dr.Byun's body with no specific target as nurses and other patients fearfully looked on. Hospital security arrived, and it all goes blank again. 

Jongin was breathing in time with the beeping of the heart monitor in the room closest to his; Kyungsoo's. It was such a steady pace, one that he sweared he could recognize without hesitation.

"They're coming to uncuff you now that you're calm." Baekhyun assured, sitting in the empty chair beside him. He had a large bruise on his cheek and a slightly swollen lip, but he was tough despite his stature. 

"I'm sorry." Jongin muttered.

The doctor shook his head. "I get it." A sigh. "I had to choose between keeping my promise to you and keeping my promise to him. And who can say no to those eyes?" He chuckled a bit, but he could tell Jongin wasn't in the mood to laugh. His lips curled down into a concerned frown. "You're worried about the odds, aren't you?" He got a nod in response. Baekhyun peaked around into the room and then returned to his original position, only slumping a bit more than before. "He's tough."

"I know." Jongin sat up slightly when he saw the hospital security come around the corner, the promise of freedom in their hand in the form of a key. "I just hope he's tough enough." When the large men stopped in front of them, he lifted his palm a bit to make it easier for them to unlock it. They seemed weary, but Baekhyun gave them a nod. When he was free, he practically shot up. He turned to hurry to the door but was stopped by a gentle hand grabbing his wrist.

"Jongin." Dr.Byun began with a warning tone. "Gentle, okay? He just went through surgery on his brain. If the surgery was a sucess, and he can see again, the risk is his brain will not adapt quick enough to the sudden sensory overload and it will shut down. So please, for once... patience."

The dancer understood. He understood now more than ever. All of his life he had been so impatient, so rash, never taking the time to stop and look at things as they truly were. A change had to be made. With a nod, he pulled out of Baekyhun's grip and took a few, very slow steps into his love's hospital room.

He stopped about three steps in. It was cold. Colder than in the hall. He searched for some way to turn up the heat, but found no dial. When he reached Kyungsoo's bed, he gently touched his forehead and flinched at how warm he was. It was always Jongin who was the source of warmth when the rest of the house was cold, so this was strange to him. He sat in the chair that had been set beside the bed for him. He was afraid to touch the other any more in fear of startling him, so he sat and watched. The patient was sat up in the bed and not laying down, so he felt like he could wake up any moment.

The room was dimly lit, most likely to not hurt Kyungsoo's eyes should he wake up with sight, so Jongin had to lean in especially close to get a good look at the older boy's face. He could feel Kyungsoo's soft breathing on his cheek and smiled ear to ear at the familiarity. He wanted to lean on the bed and fall asleep beside his love, but he wanted to be awake when the other awoke, so he fought through his grogginess.

"I wish I could see the moon again." Kyungsoo had said one night while they were out for a walk. 

"The moon wishes she could see you too." Jongin had playfully replied.

It was night, and Jongin hurriedly skipped to the window, pulling up the blinds. A quarter moon shone brightly in the sky in perfect view from the hospital bed. The placement was very convenient. He fumbled with the blinds, trying to make sure they didn't fall, and he pinched his finger in the process.

"Ow." He hissed, shaking the pain off. He heard a rustling and checked to make sure the blinds were actually in place. When he realized they were, his eyes darted behind him to find Kyungsoo moving slightly in the bed. Jongin rushed back into his chair, trying not to make anymore unecessary noise. Kyungsoo then turned his head, facing in the direction of the dancer. He didn't open his eyes.

"Jongin?" He asked, his voice soft and melodic, making his love melt.

"I'm here." Jongin replied, finding Kyungsoo's hand and slowly entwining their fingers. At the touch, the patient's lips curled into a smile. 

Still with closed eyes, he asked. "You're not mad?" 

Jongin let out a low chuckle. He didn't want to say anything about Baekhyun. Kyungsoo didn't need to worry right now. "No, I'm not mad." 

"Jongin." the smile had faded and a look of worry washed over the dancer's face. "Jongin, all I see is black."

The other hesitantly replied "Your eyes are closed..."

"What if I open my eyes and I still see black?" A fearful Kyungsoo asked. For a moment, it was like they were teenagers again. They didn't need to be adults right now. They could be afraid. For each other.

"I will still watch you. Just like I promised."

Kyungsoo's breath hitched and he nodded, squeezing his love's fingers as he began to lift his eye lids. Jongin too was breathless with anticipation, but he stayed strong to prepare for the worst.

"Jongin I--" he blinked once after his eyes were fully open. He didn't need to say anymore, Jongin could tell. It was the same look from the photograph. That same, undeniable look of pure adoration that he had so blindly ignored for all this time.

"You can see!" Jongin said that a little loud and he covered his mouth, cursing himself for being so boisterous. Kyungsoo giggled at this, his eyes travelling all over the other's face, proud of himself for not forgetting any of his beautiful details.

"I-I opened the window for you, so you can see the moon. Look, look it's so pretty." Jongin was like a child, gently squeezing his love's hand in excitement. But Kyungsoo didn't move. He stayed perfectly still, his eyes not wavering from the other's face. When Jongin noticed this, he paused, "You don't... want to see it?"

"Dance for me." Kyungsoo asked suddenly.

Jongin was confused and caught off guard. "Now?... Why?" He now noticed that, despite regaining his sight after months and months of darkness, Kyungsoo hadn't reacted enthusiastically at all. He was still quiet and seemingly tired. His smile was very slight and sincere. 

"Isn't that what you wanted? You wanted to dance for me so that I'd fall in love with you. My words weren't enough. Nothing I did was ever enough. So, dance for me. Dance for me so I can be sure you know I love you." 

Jongin didn't move. He didn't know what to do or what to say. He realized that he had made a terrible mistake, always dismissing Kyungsoo's confessions. He had been hurting him for such a long time. He slowly started to stand, but stopped short, quickly returning to his seat and saying "No."

"No?" Kyungsoo mirrored with confusion.

"I know you love me. I should have known it all along. The way you looked at me when you opened your eyes? That's the way you looked at me when I danced. The way you looked at me when I left to get on the plane... it was the same look. I was the blind one, I know that now. I love you with everything in my heart and I know that you do too. I don't need to dance for you to prove that." He could feel his eyes watering up with tears. He let go of his love's hand to wipe away the tears.

"People always told me..." Kyungsoo spoke even slower than before. "... that I said I loved anything as long as it was beautiful. They said I didn't really love the sky or the flowers or anything like that... they said I just thought it was pretty. And when I feel in love with you, there was a part of me that, like them, thought I was only in love with you because your dancing was beautiful." He reached out with his now free hand to pull Jongin's hands away from his face. He then placed a his hand on his cheek. "And I was in love with you because something about you was beautiful. But it wasn't your face. It wasn't your dancing... It was your heart. I really did love you and I still do."

Jongin sniffled more, feeling the tears rushing down his face. Hearing those words made him so happy he couldn't contain himself. "I love you. I love you so much. I will watch over you forever."

Suddenly, there was a loud beeping coming from one of the other machine's. Jongin glanced over at it with concern. He then heard Baekyhun run into the room. "Oh no." Dr.Byun muttered. He then began calling nurses, shouting something about Kyungsoo and brain activitiy, but the patient didn't seem phased by it at all.

The dancer's eyes were now full of concern, searching Kyungsoo's eyes for any kind of answer. "What's going on?"

"I'm going to watch you, Jongin. Like I promised. I'll keep it, I swear." He answered, his smile never fading. 

Panic. "What are you talking about? What are you trying to say? You're not going anywhere! Not now! Not after everything!" Jongin leaned forward, placing a soft but pleading kiss to the other's lips. Kyungsoo responded, kissing him back, but it felt like his energy was fading.

"I know you're show is tomorrow. Show everyone what a beautiful dancer you are. I'm sorry I can't be there." he spoke in such a low volume Jongin could hardly hear. "I love you."

And this time, Jongin didn't have you say You will. He could honestly say "I know. I love you too."

That's when all the beeping stopped. All the rushing stopped. All the movement stopped.

Kyungsoo's brain stopped and Jongin's world stopped.

And he never even looked at the moon.

 


 

"Are you sure you still want to do this?" Jongdae asked, putting a hand on Jongin's shoulder. 

"There's a full house out there. Yixing is counting on me to give a good performance. If he is putting his name into this, it has to be done and it has to be good. For the sake of his reputation." He replied.

The sound manager sighed. "Jongin... you even told me you changed your routine. We're all beat up about Kyungsoo, we should have all taken time off..."

Jongin paused. "He said he'd watch me..." 

They both stood in silence. Jongdae understood. "Knock 'em dead, kid." He nodded at chanyeol who directed the stage crew to open the curtains. The audience erupted in thunderous applause, awaiting the dancer whom Yixing had described as pure emotion. He walked out and the cheers only got louder. He smiled at everyone, waving politely and bowing slightly in the direction of the famous dancer who had sponsored him. The noise settled and everyone took their seats. Finally, there was silence.

Jongdae was patiently waiting for Jongin's cue to start the music. The dancer was standing there, not moving at all, staring into the spotlight without any kind of focus. A psst from Chanyeol caught his attention and he looked over. The tall boy was waving his arms in a manner that asked "What the is going on?" 

Jongin hesitated, but then pointed at a chair that was sitting off stage. Chanyeol looked at it, back at Jongin, and then back at the chair. He picked it up and the scurried on stage, giving it to Jongin and then scurrying off. A few whispers came from the audience, but no one said anything aloud. The dancer positioned the chair on the center of the stage and smiled at it, brushing his fingers against the back.

"Sit." Jongin had commanded years ago.

"In the chair?" Kyungsoo had asked in response.

"Yeah. Please? It's the best place to watch me." 

"... Sure." 

"And now.." He whispered "Now I'm going to really dance for you."

Then, he turned around and nodded to Jongdae to start the music. Jongdae nodded back, and the performance began.

He had no plan. No routine. No coreography. He just danced what he felt.

He danced happiness. 

He danced sadness.

He danced pain.

He danced love.

He captivated the audience with every accent of his body, every so often reaching towards the chair as if yearning for the lost owner of the seat. All in all, it was a dance of longing and forgiveness. There were tears in people's eyes; they were moved. And when the song ended, the cheers from when he entered were blown out of the water. Now they were deafening and people were throwing flowers onto the stage, unable to contain their adoration for him.

Jongin didn't turn around. He ended the dance standing right in front of the chair. He was tired, heavily breathing from that intense show, but the look on his face showed that he was more content than he had ever been in his entire life. 

"I know you love dancing..."

"I love you more than dancing."

Jongin felt tears well up in his eyes as the memories flooded back.

"Please." Jongin had begged "Promise me that you will wait and when I return you will watch me and fall in love."

"I promise."

As the crowd continued to cheer, Chanyeol walked up behind Jongdae. "You know, it's a shame that shorty never got to watch him dance." Jongin turned around and faced the audience, finally accepting his applause and picking up a few flowers, waving at everyone while smiling ear to ear.

Jongdae just stared at the dancer and shook his head. "Don't worry, I'm sure he got to watch him. After all," he shrugged "Kyungsoo promised."

 

 

 

 

 

 

Author's Note: Thank you for waiting this long for the last chapter. I hope you all enjoyed it. I am going to start a new story in a few weeks and it will actually be a lot longer than this. I hope, if you enjoyed this, you will continue to check out my new stories as they come along. I am very appreciative of the reaction this story has gotten and I hope I didn't break your hearts with ending. Kiss kiss.

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Comments

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ndreeanny #1
Chapter 8: Dear God, I'm crying right now.. this is so sad. Why regret always comes too late?
superaaron029 #2
Chapter 9: Why?! Stop messing with my feelings!! TT______TT
StarlessSky #3
Chapter 8: Cried my heart out. Why'd he have go like that?
natinski #4
Chapter 9: Dear god this is really sad ikhhhh (love you)
IshaUnnie
#5
It's beautifully sad .... an apt oxymoron. Darling you made me cry rivers and right now i have a pounding headache because of it ...I love you but I hate you at the same time... kiss kiss
NotAppropriate
#6
Chapter 8: This was truly heartbreakingly beautiful. It left me with tears streaming down my face //and ugly snots too// I love you and hate you at the same time for writing this. You are very talented at making people cry. //still sobbing//
Kim-SooJung
#7
Chapter 8: UGLY SOBBS ;_______;
fernsquared #8
Chapter 8: Is this the end? Are there more to this story? TTT I don't get it. Kyungsoo diedd?? TT
MirandaEKS #9
Chapter 8: The whole story was amazing but this particular chapter was pure perfection, I can't stop crying.