Nightmares by checkers

Review by chocobella2

► Title ⇒ (10/10)

Although a short title, I think it's a good one. Short and simple, sticks in your head more than long ones. Despite it being a common one, after reading your story, I realized it fit the story perfectly.

 

► First Impressions ⇒ (15/15)

The description and foreword appears quite blank at first. The description is one sentence. But that one sentence was such a powerful one. It really effects the readers (or at least, me). It's actually good that you didn't reveal much of the story because readers will be more interested. Get what I'm trying to say? It really grabs attention. So big thumbs up!

 

 

 

► Language ⇒ (13/15)

Your spelling and punctuation were, pretty much, perfect. I couldn't find mistakes with spelling throughout the whole story. (Either that or I at finding spelling mistakes). The only thing was your grammar. When Woohyun was telling about the past, it should stay in past tense. There were some parts where I found that you wrote the sentence in a different tense.

Example-

What you wrote: "You apparently love Science."

What it should be: "You apparently loved Science." Or "Apparently, you loved Science."

But overall, there weren't many mistakes like that, so good job!

 

 

 

► Flow and Consistency ⇒ (12/15)

I feel that it went a little too fast. Since it's a oneshot, I feel it should be a little longer. Perhaps more behind WooGyu's relationship? I was actually hoping for more inside their love story. But I have to admit, the way you transitioned through the story was dramatic. So you recieved a 12. :)

► Storyline ⇒ (15/15)

You carried the sad, angst theme throughout the story exceedingly well. It has the perfect tone for this type of story. The way you wrote it, it was just so dramatic. And angst-y. (Pretend it's a word). It was unbelievable.

► Characters ⇒ (15/15) 

I loved the way you (or Woohyun, I guess) described the personalities of Woohyun and Sunggyu. You made them come to life for me. I have no idea how to explain it, but it seemed like those characters were really alive.

► Entertainment ⇒ (10/10)

Well, to be honest with you, I don't really read angst. I'm a very fluffy person. ≧◠◡◠≦✌ But this story really grew on me. It was beautifully written. I actually felt like crying (I'm very sensitive) at the end. Please continue writing stories like this, you're an amazing author. :) 

Total : (90/95)

Kyahh! Great job! 94.73684210526316 percent! (According to my calculator). Congratulations! :D

 

Reviewed by Chocobella2

PM Chocobella2 or ScreamingMidget for any additional questions/add-ons to the review/etc. Additional material may be managed by ScreamingMidget instead of original reviewer (to avoid overworking underaged children) unless otherwise requested. 

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