-Jinyoung's POV-

                It was one of my happiest days, being with No Min Hee. I was at my last year in middle high school when she became my girlfriend. She was active, witty, and funny, a kind of girl that boys adore, while I was her exact opposite. We’re classmates and she’s only one in the class dared talking to me aside from Shinwoo. She was not scared of me, even if how many times I acted cold towards her. I dunno but I think she was immune from my attitude. She kept on having her eyes on me; she even confessed in our whole school that she will court me. Yeah, she’s actually the one who’s giving roses and gifts. That was insane, wasn’t it? But later on, I realized that I’m in love with her. We became happy with each other, but not for so long . . . . . because she died because of me.

                We fought one time because she took up an examination that would cause her to study in France, without consulting me. Of course, I didn’t approve that idea and I was hurt. I suddenly thought why everybody wanted to leave me; my parents died because of car crash, I was the only one who survived; my grandfather was aloof with me because he thought I was the reason why his favorite daughter died; and now, she was going to leave me? Because of what she did, I didn’t talk to her for days. I was hurt. She was the only one who’s making me happy after a long time of being miserable, but why would she leave me? I was stubborn. Shinwoo told me that Min Hee was asking him where to find me, but I didn’t budge. I wanted her to quit from the studying in France. I was selfish that time. I was only thinking about myself.

                I hadn’t talk to her for a week and to my surprise, she showed up in front of my apartment, telling how cruel I was. I was stiff. It was painful seeing the girl you love crying because of you but I remained cold. I asked her what she would choose, me or studying in France. She cried, telling me that she loved me but it was her dream to study and make her dreams there. It all was clear to me, she’d go to France. I sighed as I pushed her out of my way, my eyes focused on road. After crossing the street, I suddenly heard a screeching sound. I turned back, only finding that she got hit by a car when she tried to run for me. I ran for her, bringing her up and sent him to the nearest hospital. She couldn’t die. I muttered again and again. But it was too late, she left me. . . . because of my stupid selfishness.

                I didn’t know how many tears I cried after what happened. Though I did neither hear from her parents nor Min Woo, I knew that they were accusing me why Min Hee died. It was miserable and indeed, I was miserable. Because of that I promised that I will not love. I didn’t deserve to be loved, or else they would suffer. All the one I love died, because of me. I didn’t want to experience again the pain what happened to Min Hee or my parents, though was so used to that feeling that I couldn’t feel anything. Pain, torment, agony, anything you could associate with those words. Every word, every letter, I was used to it.

                After graduating, after having at least one happy year of my life, I was back in my old self again, doomed. I was more distant with everyone, but I still kept my old friends, Shinwoo and Gongchan. I didn’t know how many girls confessed to me and got ditched. I didn’t bother. Honestly.

                Only Park Soojin devastated the barrier I made, allowed to be close to me and fell in love with, again. But seeing her with No Min Woo, No Min Hee’s brother, everything in the past haunted me. His presence reminded me that what I’m doing wrong. . .  that two of us would be hurt in the end. I’m afraid that she would be hurt because of me, I didn’t like it. I could bear the pain, but I didn’t want her to experience everything happened to the ones I loved. Not my parents or Min Hee. Not them.

                Hell yeah, I’m pessimistic.