I tapped my foot while waiting for a certain girl in front of the school gate. She's late again.

It's been like this for the past few days, her being late whenever we go home. I wonder what she's doing. Well, its not like I have the right to intefere to what ever it is. I'm her best friend, yes. But I'm just a best friend. I can't help but to notice these past few weeks that she's been drifting away from me.

We're not like how we used to be anymore. It almost feels like she's a stranger to me now. We're not the same us. Our relationship seems to lost its value already. And I'm afraid that she might leave me sooner or later for someone else. Someone who's going to be a better best friend than me.

And I don't want that. Our friendship is all I've got. I don't want to lose it, even if it means that I have to distance myself from her just to maintain our friendship, I will do it. I will do everything for our friendship. I will do everything for her.

I've got something to confess, I like my best friend. Oh wait, I love her.

Disgusting if you think of it right? I mean, who fall in love with their best friend? Especially when it's with the same gender. That's right, I'm in love with the same gender as I am. I don't know how it happened, all I know is one day, my heart beated fast for her. All I know is, one day I found myself accepting the fact that I'm in love with her.

I know it's wrong. But I can't help but to fall further in love with her.

I can't help but to fall for her smile every single time.

I can't help but to fall for her eyes whenever she looks at me.

She's my drug that I never want to stop taking, that no matter how much I resist the temptation, I will always end up by her side all over again.

Her love is my sweet torture. Her love hurts me but I never want to stop taking all of the pain. I'm head over heels in love with her and I admit it.

"Taetae?" I heard a very sweet and familiar voice. I looked towards where the voice came from and there I see my angel walking hastily towards me.

"Pany-ah..." I said to her I was about to walk towards her too when I suddenly saw someone behind her, it was him. I should have known better.

"What are you still doing here? You should have just go home. Look! It's already late, your mom is going to get worried." She said while cupping my face. Right, I forgot to say, I can't help but to fall for her touch. I love everything that she does to me. I love it all, even thought it hurts me, because I know that these are all just friendly acts and nothing more. Why am I even expecting for something more? I'm so stupid. Yes, keep on dreaming Kim Taeyeon.

"Sorry, Pany-ah," I said then held both of her hands, "But can you ... go home with me today?" I pleaded to her, she bit her lower lip and looked at him like asking for his permission. He nodded at her and smiled.

Now I know why she like him. It's because of his charming smile, his handsome face, and his nice attitude. How can I ever compete to that? I already lost even before the battle happens. It hurt so much that I felt like crying, but of course I can't. Not in front of them. I need to be strong, I have to be strong.

Tiffany smiled at him and gave him a passionate kiss before he left us. In those three minutes while they're kissing, i just felt my world breaking apart in front of me. My chest hurt so much, my heart is aching so much. I can't ... I can't hold it in anymore. A single tear slid down my face, I quickly wiped it before she see's me crying over nothing.

I should stop. I really should. She's with someone now, I can't keep these feelings anymore, it's not gonna be fair with her. I should set her free, from the cage I made for her myself. I should free her from my heart and mind. I should erase all of these unnecessary feelings.

"Let's go now?" She said while giving me the smile I fell in love with. My heart never stopped aching. I forced a smile even thought it hurts, "Yeah, let's go."

We were walking down the road towards our house. I was looking down at my feet all the time, I never talked. I looked at her and saw her looking forward when she's about to turn her head towards me, I quickly looked at my feet again.

"Hey," She called and I hummed as a reply. It seems like my ability to talk was gone all of a sudden. "I had noticed ... we are not that close as we used to be anymore." I looked at her, so she noticed too.

"I want the old us back ... I want my Taeyeon back." I scoffed mentally, your Taeyeon had long gone already, ever since you started dating him. It was your own fault that we grew further apart from each other. How dare you ... how dare you say that to me now.

I gathered all of my courage, I need to give her a reply that will help me move on from her. A reply that will help me end my painful love for her. Now I realized, I can't feel her torture love forever. I can't be stuck in her painful love forever. I need my own happiness too, a happiness that doesn't give me the kind of feeling I get from her. A happiness that can surpass all of my wonderfull memories with her. I need someone who will love me, and not someone who will hurt me like she does.

"Your Taeyeon is never coming back, Tiffany. Because you didn't have me from the start." I said while stopping my track, and she did the same. I turned to face her, I can see the confusion and hurt on her face. Wait, hurt? Yeah, right. I must be seeing things again.

"What do you mean?" She said while looking at me intently, "I mean what i said. The old Taeyeon is not coming back. And this is the last time you will see me as your best friend. Because from tomorrow onwards, we're only strangers to each other." I said to her while trying not to cry. You can do this Taeyeon. Do this for yourself. You're already done with always thinking about her feelings. You need to consider all of your sufferings too.

"Why are you saying that Taeyeon? Did I do something wrong? Tell me, what did I do?" Damn it. Why are you so clue less? All this time, all this time I thought that even just a little bit, you felt the love that I wanted you to feel, but I'm wrong, I'm so ing wrong Tiffany. You're too much, just way too much.

"That's what's wrong!! You did nothing!! Just—stay away from me ... I don't want you anywhere near me again ..." I said then runned away from her. This time I didn't held back my tears from falling. I cried my heart out until there's no more tears left for me to shed.

I will get this straight again ... I will move on.

Without her love that had been supporting me ever since the start.

I will free myself from the pit I drowned myself into.

I will erase her from my heart.

I suddenly remembered my words when I discovered my feelings for her ... "I don't think you'll ever want to love me."