6:12 a.m.  You woke up in a cold sweat, queasy and sprinted for the bathroom.  As soon as you hit the sink you vomited and instantly felt 10 folds worse.  These past few days your digestive system has been totally off, it felt like you were always starving and when you do get to eat, it was always followed by wanting to throw up everything you consumed.  Lately, you were always tired and nauseous, like getting a permanent hangover without even being drunk.  You have a migraine pretty much daily and your insomnia has gotten to the point where you are about to go crazy.  The only good thing about all these is that you’re losing weight and you’re shedding them fast.

Staring at the mirror after rinsing your mouth you wished Taecyeon was with you through this horrible experience.  He has been overseas attending to some business matters for a couple of weeks now and as much as you wanted your husband to hold your hair back as you threw up, you know he had more important issues he needs to work on.  He calls you every day he was gone and sends you messages from time to time, but you couldn’t bring yourself to let him know the condition you are in.  At least it will be a surprise how skinny you’ll be when he sees you.

“No, you are not going to tell him.”  You said to your reflection, shaking away the thoughts that ran through your head.  You opened the cabinet next to the sink to grab a new tube of toothpaste, but found boxes of sealed month pads instead.  “Oh .”  You murmured to yourself as you ran out of the bathroom to find a calendar.

---

Your mobile rang and your brother, Wooyoung picked it up off the pile of things you have left with him in the waiting room.  “Hyung.  It’s me.”

“Oh Wooyoung-ah.  Are you screening your sister’s calls now?”  Taecyeon asked over the phone, setting his mug down on the table.  “Or did I get her mad again without knowing?”

“Nothing like that hyung.  It’s just that noona’s still with the doctor right now.”

There was a long pause before Taecyeon spoke again, his perfectly shaped brows coming into the middle of his forehead in concern as he swiveled his chair around.  “Doctor?  What doctor?”

“I’m not sure about who the doctor is.”  Wooyoung stretches his words as he looks around for a name or anything or a sign of you coming back.  “She just asked that I wait here while she gets checked and tested.”

“Checked and tested for what?”  There was panic in his voice as he stood up and ran a hand in his hair in frustration.  “How is she?  Is she alright?”  He was beginning to pace around the room trying to digest this newsflash.

This time it was Wooyoung’s turn to pause before answering.  “Hyung…she didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”  His voice was like a gunshot.

Wooyoung stared through his lensless glasses at a poster on the wall showing what the inside of a nine-month pregnant woman looked like as he tried to come up with an answer.  “Uhm, I think this should come from my sister.  I don’t think it’s my place to share.”  He scratched the back of his head.  “So, I’ll just say she’s fine, just a little bit queasy lately, but it’s just a checkup and I’ll take her home when she’s done.  Don’t worry hyung, I’ll take care of her while you’re gone.”

Taecyeon tried to calm himself down, loosening the viridian tie around his neck.  “Fine.  Can you have her ring me once she’s done?  As soon as she’s done, okay?”  He did not wait for Wooyoung’s answer before he ended the call, frustration still boiling up inside him from not knowing anything vital about you.

----

You twisted the wedding band around your finger with the light of the room glinting off of it as you stared at your mobile anxiously, sitting on your bed dreading the conversation you are about to have with Taecyeon.  You have no idea what to say to him or what reaction to expect of him, but you know the longer you put it off the worse it would be, so you dialed his number and called him.

“Hello.”  That one word from him sent a chill down your spine.  That wasn’t the way he would usually answer a call from you.

“Hi Dumbo.”  You answered cheerily.

“Don’t.”  Taecyeon’s back stiffened indignantly, his tone of voice acidic.  He has been waiting for your call for a good few hours now.  And those hours were filled with panic and worry.

Your false smile melted away.  There was a long silence except for the sound of him breathing through his nose heavily.  “So how much trouble am I in?”  You finally asked.

He rubbed his hand slowly over the lower half of his face.  Every tendon in his neck visible and his jaw clenched that his lips almost disappearing in a thin line.  “I don’t know.  Because apparently I don’t know anything.  I didn’t know you’ve been sick.  I didn’t know you were seeing a doctor and being tested and for what?  I don’t know either.  Evidently, I don’t know how you are.  I think the list of things that I don’t know about you is getting longer and longer.  Why didn’t you tell me?  I call you every damn day and you never mentioned anything to me.  What the hell is going on with you over there?”  He yelled and you winced away from the phone as he did.

“I’ve been feeling sick lately.”  Your voice sounded like it was caught in your throat.

The tension melted out of Taecyeon’s shoulders as he heard your voice.  “Then why didn’t you tell me?”  The concern was obvious in voice.  His tone much calmer than before.

“I didn’t want you to worry about me.  You shouldn’t have to -”

Taecyeon cuts you off.  “Baby, look at your ring finger.  Do you see the ring that I told you never to take off?  That’s my license to worry about you.  I’m your husband.  I’m supposed to worry about you all the time and for every little single thing that bothers you, okay?”

“Okay.”  You whispered.

There was silence on both ends of the line for a few moments before Taecyeon finally spoke.  “So how’s the checkup and the test?  Are you very sick?”

“It’s positive.”  You murmured quietly.

His forehead wrinkled in shock and concern.  “Positive for what?”

“I’m pregnant.”  You said calmly.  You waited for him to say something, anything.  But his end of the line went silent.  “Are you still there?”  Your words hung in the air between the line.  It was like a crystalized ornament of confusion.

“Are you sure?”

“Uhm.  I wanted to be sure before I tell you, so I went for a checkup.”  Tears started to fill your eyes.  You’re starting to feel maybe he wasn’t ready for this.  Maybe it was too soon.  You haven’t even asked if he liked kids.  “I’m sorry.  I know this doesn’t fit with your plans right now, but –“

“We’re having a baby, love.  What more important plans could there be than that?”  You could hear a laugh on his end.  “Are you crying?”  He asked as he heard you sniffle.

“I thought you’d be mad at me.”  Tears still filled your eyes.

“I was.”  He took a deep breath and blew it out.  “I mean, I should have been the one sitting in the waiting room, not your brother.  And I should have been the one to drive you home and tuck you into bed.  I should’ve have been there by your side to take care of you.”

“Wooyoung did a good job taking care of me.”  You laid down in bed and wrapped your arms around Taecyeon’s pillow.  It had stopped smelling like him and you’re starting to miss him more.  “But you’re right…I want you here with me.”  You know it sounded selfish, but that’s how you felt and you needed to let him know how you felt.

“Uhm.  I want to be there too.”  He sighed and closed his eyes.

You yawned making a little squeaking noise at the end of it.  “Then finish what you must there quickly and come to me soon.”  You burrowed further under the blanket.  It was easier to imagine he’s beside you in the dark.

“I will.”  He smiled.  “You get some sleep love.”  He said quietly.  “But Snuggles…”

You opened your eyes, which have somewhat closed without you noticing.  “Hhmm?”

“No more hiding things from me, okay?”

“I promise.  No more.”

“You better not.  I don’t think I could be so forgiving next time.”  He said with a chuckle.  “You’re the most important thing in my life, you’re my life and if anything was to happen to you…“  His voice choked and his jaw clenched as he fought his emotions.  “, you got me all scared for a while there.  Losing you would destroy me.  You know that right?”

“I do.”

“But thank you…for giving me the best gift.  I still can’t believe we’re going to have a baby!”  The light in his eyes started to come back as he said those words.

“It’s a perfect first year anniversary gift, right?”

“Yeah, it’s coming soon.  Anyway, sleep for now.  You need to rest.  It’s been a long day for you.”  He quietly said.

“Love you Dumbo.”

“Love you too Snuggles.”