It was raining hard, the girls had called their driver to pick them up earlier than usual because school cancelled classes; it was that bad.

Yuri was the only one left in the car, and she couldn’t see the road ahead clearly, it made her wonder how the driver could… and much to her surprise the vehicle had stopped all of the sudden, she looked out the window and it seemed like they were parked somewhere secluded, an alley perhaps.

Before Yuri could analyze the situation any further, the sliding door on her right opened, her only way out… and then HE came inside with an expression Yuri feared, his look disgusted her as much as it had frightened her, felt dry and her heart exhilarated.

The worst had happened, and her innocence was stolen.

Yuri had kept that fact a secret for so long; it was like somehow he stole her voice too.

-

“Yuri, are you okay?” Tiffany broke the silence that could have easily been mistaken as tension that filled the air inside the moving car, the two were on their way home from college and Tiffany couldn’t help but worry over what happened in their first lecture of the day, Yuri racing out of class in distress and being found minutes later crying in the bathroom’s floor was definitely not Tiffany’s idea of a normal day.

No reply. Yuri was too immersed in her thoughts that she didn’t seem to hear tiffany’s worried question, she gaze was somewhere outside the window since Tiffany offered to drive this time, all she wanted to do was go home and find some peace.

“Yuri.” Tiffany called again, in a much clearer tone than the one she used before. She waited for a reply and Yuri turned her head and stared weakly at her… something tugged Tiffany’s heart in the split second when her eyes met Yuri’s, it seemed like too much was going on in the latter’s head, “You okay?” she said, looking back at the road ahead.

Yuri tried to give a faint smile but ended up looking utterly sad, “Umm.” She replied as she nodded, “I’m just tired.”

Tired. The typical answer people gave out when they didn’t feel like talking about what’s really happening with them, Tiffany got the hint and decided not to question any further.  She offered a genuine smile in hope it can assure the tanned girl that she was always here for her.

“Then rest well when we arrive back to the dorm, will you?”

“Will do.”

-

A week had passed, and it seemed as if Yuri couldn’t bring herself out of her own misery, that horrible moment in her life was always there, but somehow Yuri was able to shut it out of her head… it affected her general behavior, yes. But it never roamed her thoughts the way it did ever since Mr. Lee’s lecture.

Whenever she was awake she’d think about it, and in her sleep she’d dream about it… everything in her day lost its taste, she just didn’t want to eat anymore, sleep anymore, or even live anymore.

She avoided people as much as she could, her friends still tried to talk to her but she’d answer shortly, coldly, and just spent most of the time in her hiding spot, the rooftop.

She laid her back on the cemented ground beneath her and inhaled deeply, “was this going to take long?” she thought. She believed that peace would find her again like how it did months ago, to forget about everything and live normally without these ugly images of her past and future worries haunting her.

Being a victim was one thing she had to live with, but the fear of becoming a victimizer was a whole other. What if she hurts an innocent child or person? Or even worse, hurting one of her friends?

She needed a confirmation of some sort; anything that would assure Yuri that she would make it the right fifty… she spent an entire week looking up what Mr. Lee lectured about the other day, there was almost a 50% chance a victim can become a victimizer, and it also meant that there was another 50% chance of her NOT becoming a victimizer.

She let out yet another long sigh; her head was in total chaos….

-

“You’ve been avoiding him lately.” Hyuk Jun asked Jessica, and she got the hint. “Can I ask why?” The two sat in a small café near Jessica’s place, Hyuk Jun had called her to meet him since he had the day off, and the pair hadn’t met in a while, and after the usual chit-chat he decided to talk about the topic he had in mind.

“I assume he told you what happened.” Jessica replied calmly as she took a sip of her iced frappucino, if Leo had told Hyuk Jun that she was avoiding him then he probably mentioned what he did the other day.

Hyuk Jun adjusted his sitting position and gave a smirk; Jessica was always quick in catching on what people wanted to say, “You’re good.” He said, and Jessica shrugged her shoulders in reply as if she did nothing worth noting. “Then do tell me why you said no?”

“I said no because I couldn’t say yes.” Jessica answered, “Look, He deserves better than someone who never even considered him as a partner, and it kills me to know that he wasted all that time on me… I wish he’d stop doing that.”

Hyuk Jun let out a sigh at Jessica’s stiffed answer; they were both his friends and he wanted to root for their happiness, Leo wanted Jessica, and he wanted to help him, but Jessica was going the other way.

“Have you thought about giving him a chance?” He asked, “I mean, you guys already know each other too well, this is a good start.”

“You know me, right?” Jessica asked and Hyuk Jun nodded in reply, “you know I’d never start something when I have no intention of continuing it.”

“How can you be so sure?” Hyuk Jun asked, Jessica’s answers were making him frustrated. “You never know, you might fall for him.”

“I just know for a fact that I will never be attracted to him, I just can’t.” Jessica answered helplessly, she too was feeling frustrated at Hyuk Jun persistence.

“Yeah, but how can you be so sure?” He asked again, more discouraged than before.

“Damn it Hyuk Jun, I’m not straight!”

-

Children’s laughter filled the busy streets, and the cool breeze playfully messed with their hair strands, leaves flew carelessly above the sidewalks as fall ensured its arrival, elders and children were walking around in their traditional clothing; it was finally Korean Thanksgiving day.

Yuri waited impatiently in her car outside of the convenient store that she and Tiffany went to; Taeyeon asked them to go and buy some stuff she needed for their Thanksgiving dinner later, and Tiffany told her to stay put until she was done grocery shopping. She watched some children as they happily played in the swings across from where her car was parked and wanted to smile at the scene but held back, she let out a heavy sigh and laid her head back on the headrest.

 “Sorry.” The car’s door clicked open and Yuri got her head up and looked to the side only to find Tiffany already occupying the passenger’s seat beside her with some paper bags resting on her legs. “The line at the cashier was too long.” She said as she closed the door.

Yuri grabbed the bags and placed them on the back seat before she wore her seat belt, and adjusted the front mirror’s angle, she let out another long sigh before she started the engine. “It’s okay.” She simply replied.

Moments passed before Tiffany exclaimed cheerfully as she pointed outside the window, “Yuri, Look!” She wanted Yuri’s mood to lighten up; she didn’t know what was bothering the latter lately or why was she going back to her old self but she tried her best to help her get past it. “Wouldn’t it be nice to have one of those in the future?”

Yuri’s eyes followed the direction of Tiffany’s finger and saw a few kids in their bright colored miniature traditional outfits playing tags on the sidewalk. The word “cute” was the first thing that registered in Yuri’s brain, but she refused to voice that out; another sigh escaped her lungs as she looked away from the scene and pressed her right foot harder on the gas pedal and drove far from where they were. “Not really.” was the only thing she said, and Tiffany’s bright expression faded upon hearing that reply.

“Why?” Tiffany argued, “They’re cute!”

“I just don’t like children.” Yuri replied with her eyes completely fixed on the road ahead of her; she was afraid that even if she liked children normally, one day she could hurt them if anything triggered her to do so, she didn’t want to become like the monster that turned her into this mess.

“How could you possibly not?” Tiffany argued once more, she didn’t realize that her choice of topic was getting on Yuri’s nerves. “They’re like the most beautiful creatures!”

Yuri gripped the steering wheel firmly and stepped on the breaks hard at the traffic light on their way; causing both of their bodies to push forward instantly at the sudden change of speed. She didn’t say anything but Tiffany could sense that she was bothered.

Silence.

 Both girls needed to organize their thoughts, Yuri needed to grow more in control of her reactions, and Tiffany needed to know what exactly was wrong with her friend. Letting out a heavy sigh, Yuri steeped on the gas again when the lights turned green.

-

“Leo!” Mr. Jung called out in joy as he saw the face of the figure that stepped inside his office. “Long time no see, son. Sit down.”

“How are you doing, uncle?” Leo greeted as he sat on one of the chairs in front of Mr. Jung’s desk, “Sorry I hadn’t stopped by lately.”

Mr. Jung chuckled, Leo was like the son he never had, and he always enjoyed his company. “It’s okay.” He smiled, “I hear they’re keeping you busy downstairs, maybe you shouldn’t have interned in Jung Corporation.”

Leo smiled at the remark, he had thought about getting an internship at his father’s company but he was already the heir; it wasn’t smart to get his experience in the place he knew he was going to work in the rest of his life… working for Mr. Jung can guarantee him two things; a new kind business experience, and getting more chances to be around Jessica, The love of his life.

“So what brings you here, Leo?”

“Actually uncle, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Leo spoke in a serious tone, and Mr. Jung adjusted his sitting. “What is it, son?” The latter asked.

Taking in a deep breath, he knew Jessica would kill him…

“I really like your daughter… Jessica.”