Yuri’s foot heaved on the gas pedal and her hands gripped the steering wheel firmly, Tiffany beside her has occupied the passenger’s seat, and the two were getting back from the airport.

“Too bad Jessica had to leave early this time.” Tiffany stated, the latter was no longer a brown headed teenage girl, she grew into an even more beautiful lady whose hair was now dyed in red, “and we don’t have much left till college starts again.”

Yuri and Tiffany became good friends through the two years that have passed, and now the three of them are in college, Jessica in UCLA in the states, and them in SNU.

Yuri nodded in agreement to Tiffany, and let out a heavy sigh, they just drove Jessica to the airport, and she had argued with the latter just the day before, Jessica was frustrated at how Yuri didn’t make any progress in letting people in, and her anger was understandable, she was worried.

“How about going out for dinner tonight?” Tiffany asked, “The four of us.” She referred to the two friends they both made during first year in college, Taeyeon was Tiffany’s roommate at the college dormitory, and Yoona was Yuri’s, the four of them always hanged together.

“Didn’t Taeyeon say she’ll cook for us if we had the time?” Yuri asked, her eyes were fixed on the road, Taeyeon was the oldest among them in terms of months, she always took care of them if one fell sick, and always cooked for the bunch whenever they had time to gather.

“Yeah, but I still think we should go out tonight.” Tiffany replied, “When school start, we’ll have a lot of chances to get together and eat Taeyeon’s food, but we won’t get to go out often.”

“Okay, cool.” Yuri said as the vehicle slowed down, her gaze left the road as they had stopped at the red light, and she looked at Tiffany’s direction and gave a warm smile, “Wanna get some ice-cream before heading back to the dorm?”

Tiffany gave an amused stare before answering Yuri, “You never treat us unless Jessica’s here.” She said it as she pouted jokingly, but it was also a fact.

 Yuri reached her right hand up, and she air-pocked Tiffany’s cheeks, still she wasn’t accustomed to having physical contact with any of her friends besides Jessica, but they got used to her like that, “Stop pouting, it doesn’t look good on you.” She said, “Besides, I figured I should just be nicer to you guys.”

“Why the sudden change? Did Jessica say something?” Tiffany asked, it wasn’t usually that Yuri tries to change in attitude until Jessica asks her to.

“No.” Yuri lied and her eyes drifted back to face the road as the car stared moving again, this was actually the main reason of her latest argument with Jessica, the latter was frustrated at how Yuri wasn’t only bad in terms of socials and personal contact, but at how Yuri seemed cold in treating her other friends. “You want ice cream or not?”

“ICE CREAM!”

-

Yuri sat across a male figure in the not-so-crowded coffee shop, the two met often ever since Yuri’s senior year in high school, even though he was known as a consultant and an advisor, he always asked her to think of him and refer to him as a friend only, and so she did.

“You haven’t called me up in a while, Yuri.” He said, “All good?”

Yuri simple nodded as she took a sip of her black bitter coffee, she avoided his gaze as she remembered what they talked about last time they had met, she still couldn’t believe she told him about what happened in her past, she never thought of sharing it with anyone.

“Are you regretting telling me what you told me last time?” He said and stared at Yuri who was avoiding his gaze, Jason Yoo had an amazing skill in reading people like an open book, everything seemed exposed to his eye, and Yuri always found that impressive, her brother was right about him too, he gave good ears, and he’s good with giving advice.

He let out a sigh when Yuri didn’t answer, and took a sip from his coffee. The regular café they met in was always empty this time of day; yet from some reason, it seemed like a good business.

“Look at me Yuri.” He said, and waited until she locked eyes with him, “don’t feel burdened by the fact that I know, I’m actually glad you shared this with me, it shows me why you act the way you do… and it’s not called a burden when I was the one who asked you to say it.”

“Thanks, Jason.” Yuri simply said, “It’s just that, this is new to me… I don’t usually talk about things.”

He nodded in understanding and gave a warm smile before he took another sip of his drink, though he was years older than Yuri but his kind face made him look the same age, anyone could mistake the two for a couple having a good time whenever they met each other at the café.

“You should.” He replied, “Let each person in at a time, and one day you’ll be comfortable about telling them what happened.”

“I argued with Jessica before she went back to the states last week.” Yuri said, “How am I supposed to let another person in when I can’t keep the one who’s already there in place?”

 “What did you argue about?” Jason asked.

“She said I’m not being a good friend to Tiffany, Taeyeon, and Yoona.” Yuri answered, “She said that being exclusively different with her is not fair for them, and that I should be nicer.”

“She does have a point.” He nodded, “but then again, your situation isn’t quite like everyone else’s… so I’ll suggest you a practice.”

“What kind of practice?”

“Start with Tiffany; she seems the closest to you among the bunch in Korea.” He started to explain, “You’ll need to let her in a bit, share something that no one knows about you, you’ll start to create your own safety zone with Tiffany, kinda like how you did with Jessica.”

 “And then?”

“And then, if you felt like it’s working with Tiffany, you can start practicing it with other people.”

“Do you think I can be fixed, Jason?” Yuri asked. “Will I ever be normal?”

“I believe you can.” Jason replied and gave a genuine smile, “when the right time comes, you’ll get over what happened and be free from what’s keeping you entrapped.”

-

Tiffany turned and her bed constantly, it was a rare occasion that she had to sleep in the dorm alone without her roommate, Taeyeon. The older girl always cared for her and spoiled her in a way that made her feel helpless whenever she wasn’t around, it felt like she always received the love she missed from her past mother from Taeyeon; she’d stay up late on her whenever she’s sick, keeping her awake when she has to study for an exam, fill her stomach with food, and even sometimes put her to bed.

It’s been a blessing meeting Taeyeon last year when her and Yuri joined SNU, and she couldn’t have wished for a better friend or roommate, and whenever Tiffany recalled an event that gathered the both of them, the corners of her lips would go up unconsciously; Taeyeon simply made her happy and grateful.

The sound of her phone vibrating on her nightstand caused her thoughts to stop flowing, and she let out a heavy sigh, the clock on her wall pointed 12:37am, who would contact her this late?

Before she reached for her phone she heard another vibration, and another sigh came following, she was too lazy to get up.

Her eyes squinted at the light coming out of her phone since everything else was dark; there were two text messages, one from Taeyeon, and the other from Yuri… “It seems like no one is sleeping tonight!” she thought.

“Are you up? I just got back from outside and I don’t feel like sleeping, if you’re up and bored I can keep you company. – Yuri” Tiffany was definitely gonna hit Yuri up, she was this close to die from boredom.

“Hey Fany, you’re probably sleeping now, but I just watched the weather forecast for tomorrow and it seems like it might rain in Seoul, take your umbrella with you if you went out, and I bought grocery before I left, be sure to eat well. –Taeyeon”

Tiffany smiled at her phone, she felt blessed for having these people around her, and though everyone had their own flaws, having all of them helped her draw a perfect picture of what her life is right now.

-

The busy life style started to kick in as it was now the middle of the semester, Yuri and Tiffany had the same classes since they both aimed for the same major, Taeyeon was studying Children Psychology, while Yoona majored in Computer Science.

Now that Yuri and the rest of the bunch became old enough to drink, they started to notice how Yuri never drinks alcohol, or at least never around them… it was yet another precaution that Yuri took around people, not allowing herself to lose control.

“Say Yuri.” Tiffany called, she and Yuri were sitting in their college’s cafeteria since they had a long break before their next lecture, “me and the girls were talking about going out for a drink tonight, wanna join?”

Yuri titled her head to the side and gave an apologetic smile, “bars and clubs are too crowded for me.” She replied, “Plus, I’m not much of a drinker so I’ll pass.”

“Come on Yuri, we don’t always have a chance to go out and have some fun.” Tiffany whined, she did expect Yuri’s answer, but she hoped for a change. “You’re such a party pooper.”

Yuri remembered Jason and Jessica’s words, how she should attempt to get closer to her friends and open up more, and how she should start with Tiffany.

“I’ll make it up to you, I promise.” Yuri said, “I’ll take you guys to the beach during winter break, and I’ll show you my favorite spot.”

Tiffany eyes glittered with joy, it wasn’t often for Yuri to offer such an outing; she’d usually sit at home or go out alone. “Promise?”

“Yeah, promise.” Yuri gave a genuine smile, “how about we ditch class and go for a ride? I want show you something.”

“Show me what?”

“I’ll tell you when we get there.”

-

“How did you find this place?” Tiffany whispered, “It’s too quite here.” Yuri had taken Tiffany to the café she often meets Jason in, it was a place she never told any of her friends about, but this was where she’d go whenever she felt like being alone, it was her special place.

“This is my secret place.” Yuri said, “And you don’t have to whisper, there’s no one here to hear us anyways.”

“Yeah right!” Tiffany joked, “I bet you brought Jessica here all the time during high school when you both ditched class.”

Yuri slowly shook her head with a smile, “you’re the first person I show this place, this is my hideout… no one knows about it.” She said, “Not even Jessica.”

“Wow.” Tiffany was touched, when it comes to being friends with Yuri she always felt second to Jessica, and this was the first time she felt like she was given something special by Yuri, like trust. “Why this place though? It’s kinda far to drive to from our dorm, or even your house.”

“Well, we used to live in this neighborhood when I was around six years old, I guess.” Yuri stated, she looked up as she was trying to recall memories from her past, “this was an ice cream store before it became a café, and the owner would always give me free ice cream whenever he saw me crying.”

Tiffany let out a chuckle, Yuri was just a kid like everyone else, but she was amazed by how Yuri remembered such detail to be able to find this place again after it changed, “did you cry much as a child? Cry baby Yul.” Tiffany asked.

Yuri gave a bitter smile as she tried to seem composed, “my childhood wasn’t really pleasant.” She said, “This was one memory that I considered good, I don’t have much of those stored in my head.”

Tiffany nodded in silence, Yuri probably wasn’t like everyone was, but then again… everyone had scars, and Tiffany could relate to that, growing up without a mother had been hard for her and her siblings, and despite of having a lot of money, it didn’t make a difference.

“Sometimes I feel bad for you and the rest.” Yuri added, “I know that having a friend like me is a bit difficult, even my parents can’t handle it, but yet you never complain or burst angry at me.”

“Yuri, we’re never angry at you.” Tiffany said, “We’re just worried; and we’re only worried because we care.”

Yuri took a sip of her drink and smiled after placing her cup on the table, “I know, I just over-think things sometimes, I guess.”

“You do.” Tiffany said, “And I really hope you’d open up to us sometimes, share your worries so you won’t feel alone.”

Jason was right, Tiffany was starting to crawl into Yuri’s circle of trust, the latter began to loosen up and feel a bit safer around her friend. The two didn’t notice how far time passed when they indulged themselves in conversation, and for the first time in a while, Yuri’s inner burden lightened once more.  

-

The four friends sat around the camp fire Yuri sat up, she had fulfilled her promise to take them out for the beach during winter break, it was the same beach where she had her 18^th birthday party, she often went there when she felt like taking a long drive out of town, but it was the first time for her to go with someone.

“Seriously, Yuri?” Yoona whined, “It’s freaking cold here, even with the fire on… couldn’t you pick a better place?”

“Zip it young.” Taeyeon scolded, “she’s the one who planned this, let her do whatever she wants… right Fany?”

Tiffany chuckled at the two and nodded in agreement, she always agreed to whatever Taeyeon said, it’s like a thing they both do. “Right!”

Yuri smiled at her friends through the burning flames, she was lucky having them around despite of how she much lacked as a person, and she hoped she’d get to fix all of that one day.

“But seriously Yuri.” Yoona said again, “Why here?”

Yuri did that thing again where she’d look up and search in her memory for the right event stored in there, it was Jessica’s surprise that started her attachment to this place four years ago, and it was the first time she ever allowed anyone in.

“It holds a beautiful memory.” Yuri answered with a smile, “Up until high school I never really had friends, and during my second year I got to meet Jessica and we became close, she threw me my first ever birthday party here, the day I turned eighteen.”

“You come here often then?” Taeyeon asked.

“Yeah.” Yuri replied, “Every now and then I come here alone and remember the happy things that happened in my life, I don’t have that many of those, but it still brings me joy to recall them.”

The rest didn’t say much as it was their first time to ever hear Yuri open up like that, they smiled and listened well to every word she said.

“I think... I don’t need to spend these moments alone from now on and just remember.” Yuri said, “I want to create more happy memories with you guys... I know I lack a lot as a friend, and I know that I never really let you in completely, but I’m sure that one day in the future you’ll know why.”

The girls smiled at one another, it was the first time they experienced such a genuine let out from Yuri, they felt like they still have hope in seeing her improve, Yuri was walking baby steps in the right direction this time.