A/N: From here until the end will probably be inconsistent with the rest of the story, but I’m finally happy with it. I needed to just let Woohyun be sad and be himself, which was hard for me to do. In every iteration of this ending (there have been several), he moved on too quickly. And also it didn’t seem like Maeri cared enough for either boys in all of the endings that I wrote.

Lastly, there was Hani, who took me the longest to get right. And I think I finally did.

“You know you can always stay.”

“I know,” Woohyun replied, halfheartedly as most of his attention was devoted to stuffing his dufflebag full of whatever belongings that he’d come there with. It was time for him to go, but apparently his older brother didn’t think it was.

Boohyun crouched down next to him and said, “I'm not going to kick you out.”

Woohyun finally looked over at him. “I know,” was all he said and then he proceeded to zip up his bag. Whatever he left behind, he’d get back eventually. And where he was going, there was everything that he needed. He could’ve left with only a change of underwear and a toothbrush, and it would have been fine. He smirked as he stood up. I left that place with less.

“Well, I don't know, Woohyun,” his brother never knew how to let a subject drop, and he was still running with this one. “If I was in your position, I wouldn't want to be alone.”

Woohyun scoffed. Being alone was exactly what he wanted right now. Alone and away from people so that he could feel the way he wanted to feel without anyone trying to cheer him up or distract him. That was what it was like, living at Howon’s place. If he wasn’t making a terrible joke in order to lift his mood, then Dongwoo was there with whatever half-baked scheme that he came with to get Woohyun out of the apartment and out of his funk. Then it eventually became evident that Woohyun and his somber was cramping Howon, who wanted to have Sora over, after the two of them had amended whatever relationship they had (Woohyun was never too sure what they were from the start). So Woohyun left and let Howon pursue any sort of happiness that he could get. Recently, Woohyun had been bouncing between his brother’s and his parents’ places, careful not to stay too long at either, just in case he’d be found.

It would be safer if he stayed at his brother’s place, but there was only so long Woohyun could stomach seeing his brother’s perfect, little family, which seemed precious even when his niece spent nights crying and the days were often filled with tense moments between husband and wife. ‘Did you do this?’ ‘I did it last time. It’s your turn now.’

All of those moments, they seemed precious to Woohyun because now they seemed so unattainable.

And instead of being jealous of his brother because he no longer had a wife to bicker with, Woohyun decided to be alone. And when he was informed that she moved out of the apartment and back into her parents’ home, Woohyun seized the opportunity and the apartment.

A decision that his brother still couldn’t comprehend: “Why are you moving back to that place?”

“I just want to,” Woohyun answered as he headed towards the door, bag slung over his shoulder.

“Is it some kind of power play?”

Finally, one of his brother’s words struck him deep and made him stop in his tracks. Slowly, he turned back around towards Boohyun, with a face as dead as his heart felt. “She took half of me when she left. I might as well take the apartment,” he ended it with a smile, acting as if he were joking.

“Woohyun,” his brother was his brother for a reason. And he saw through the act.

So Woohyun continued with it, forcing the smile broader as he hugged the other. “Thanks, hyung, for letting me stay. I'll see you around,” he promised and walked out the door.

When Woohyun arrived at the apartment, he hovered outside of the door for far too long. Even though Jonghyun had sent him a picture of the empty apartment, a part of Woohyun expected to see her behind the door. But he didn’t know whether that part of him wanted that or not. However, he had to admit that when he finally opened the door and found the apartment to be empty, he was genuinely relieved. She wasn’t there. And Woohyun had to see what else wasn’t too.

He surveyed the apartment, taking stock. It seemed like she had taken everything that she had brought with her, save for a sweatshirt that Woohyun used to claim was always his but it was actually hers and a carton of milk that had been left on the countertop and had turned bad. He had to wonder how much of it was intentional. In any case, he threw the sweatshirt and carton away. And all that was left was him and his stuff.

It felt incredibly empty because of it (and because that large, useless dining room table was finally gone). Woohyun could play soccer in his apartment because there was so much room, and he did. But that fun only lasted until he stubbed his toe, and now he was laying on his back, toe throbbing in pain, wondering what to do with himself next.

Rearrange and redecorate. Make this place his. That was the new plan now. He was going to change this place so much that it would look as if he’d actually moved into a new place. He changed bedrooms, he bought new bedsheets, he rearranged the living room to cover up the massive space, and he even bought many candles so that the place could smell different.

Once he had done all that, something still felt missing. And he refused to acknowledge what it was because it seemed ridiculous for someone his age, but…he was missing someone else, any one else, any living thing! For the first time in his life, Nam Woohyun was truly alone.

Maeri wasn’t going to leave him alone, even though that’s probably all he wanted right now. She could easily read how annoyed he was with her from how tense his back was. He was also intentionally ignoring her, although she was leaning in the doorway of his small bathroom just a few steps away. But that might also be because he’d just gotten out of the shower, again. Normally, Maeri would be too full of shame to barge in like this, but she couldn’t afford it right now. “We have to go,” she spoke up. And she had to raise her voice even more because Sunggyu had just the hair dryer. “Your sister is expecting us to be at her house at 2.”

“I know. I’ll be ready soon,” she could barely hear Sunggyu’s voice over the hair dryer.

“You were nearly ready when I got here an hour ago!” Maeri shouted, not because she was angry but so he could hear her.

But he must’ve misinterpreted it. He turned off the dryer and turned towards her with a nasty glare. “Then go without me!” he shouted back, pointing the dryer at her. “It’s not like I want to go anyway! Just leave me here and go yourself!”

Well, that wasn’t possible. Maeri bit her tongue, refraining from saying something that she’d regret. Instead, she took in a deep breath, let it go along with her tongue, and gave him a warm smile. “I’m sorry,” she apologized. “Take your time. I’ll be in the living room.”

“Okay,” was all he replied, and he went back to getting ‘ready.’ And Maeri left him to do just that, to continue stalling until they had to inevitably leave for his parents’ memorial ceremony. Understandably, he was dragging his feet, and Maeri hated that she had to hurry him like this. But she’d play the bad guy so that his sister didn’t have to do a larger part of the ceremony on her own (Maeri knew that there was a long day of preparing jeon and other foods ahead of her).

After she left the bathroom and plopped down onto the couch in the living room, Dongwoo poked out his head. “How is he doing?” he asked.

“He’s stalling,” Maeri answered and moved down the couch so that Dongwoo could sit by her, which he did. While it had been awkward between herself and Dongwoo for a bit, Maeri had come to this apartment frequently enough that it’d become normal again for the both of them. They were friends again, and mostly because the man in the other room. The both of them cared and worried about him. “He showered again,” Maeri continued, and then she mocked him, “Go yourself!” She turned to Dongwoo, resuming her normal voice. “It’s not like it’s my family. It’d be odd if I showed up without him. But…I get it. I mean, I get it as much as I can. I’ve never had to bury my parents,” she admitted. She knew that she had to be patient with him, no matter how frustrating it was. She had to be understanding. He really needed that now.

“It’s good of you to go with him today,” Dongwoo responded.

Maeri sighed. It wasn’t as if she didn’t have a choice, but if she wanted to the right thing, there really was no other choice but to go with him. Also she genuinely wanted to do it because: “I didn’t want him to go through all of this alone.” At that, Dongwoo surprisingly broke out into a short laugh. Maeri turned to him and asked, “What?”

“Indeed, Yoo Maeri is Yoo Maeri,” was his answer.

“What is Yoo Maeri then?” she was afraid to ask that question, given the circumstances, but she still did ask with an uneasy smile.

“Gum,” Dongwoo responded. And he started to laugh again, but this time, it was directed at Maeri’s confused face. “You stick to people well,” he explained. “We can’t get rid of you.”

Maeri supposed that Dongwoo meant that as a compliment, but the ‘we can’t get rid of you,’ wasn’t sitting well with her. “Well, about that…” she started, but she was quickly interrupted by a man who decided that he was done stalling.

“What are you sitting on the couch for? Let’s go!” Sunggyu came out into the living room with a loud voice and snapping his fingers, agitated. Maeri shot a look at Dongwoo before jumping off of the couch. They said their goodbyes to Dongwoo before grabbing their bags and stepping outside towards the difficult weekend ahead of them.

Sunggyu’s older sister had invited them to spend the entire weekend at her house, which was very generous of her, given that she had a family of her own apart from Sunggyu. But it also made Maeri exceedingly nervous. It would be the first time that she would meet Sunggyu’s family and it was going to last for two days and one night, with the highlight being his father’s memorial service. It was not ideal or even normal, but it was necessary.

Yes, it was necessary for Maeri to tag along on this occasion because she soon realized why his sister suggested her to come. She honestly knew her little brother best. Right now, Sunggyu needed someone to hold his hand and pull him out of the door, which Maeri was doing as she was dragging him to the car. The closer that they got to the closer, Sunggyu gradually picked up speed, and he let go of her hand to arrive there first and throw his bag in. Maeri thought it odd until she saw him hop into the passenger’s seat. He’s refusing to drive, Maeri thought and let out a heavy sigh. I’m going to have to drag him the entire way.

She then tossed her bag into the trunk besides his and walked up to the driver’s seat. Before she entered the car, she looked at the other through the window. His arms were crossed tightly across his chest, his eyes were closed, and his head was resting against his own window. Sunggyu was feigning sleep. It made Maeri’s heart drop. She knew that he was stubborn, but this wasn’t stubbornness. This was him mourning all over again.

She opened up the door, climbed into the car, and leaned over to give him a kiss on a cheek. Sunggyu opened up his eyes and rolled his head over to look at her, as she was settling into the driver’s seat. “Are you ready to go?” she asked him with a soft voice.

“No,” he answered bluntly, which made her smile slightly.

“Neither am I,” she agreed and the car. “Can you please input the address so that we can go?” Sunggyu nodded and entered the address into the GPS. “Thank you,” she said after he did so. But then she noticed that he was lingering at the console. A small smile appeared on her face again, and she gave Sunggyu another peck on the cheek. Indeed, that was what he wanted because he fell back into his seat afterwards.

“Let’s go.” And they did.

When they arrived at his sister’s house, surprisingly Maeri didn’t have to push him out of the car or ‘wake’ him up (yes, he pretended to sleep for most of the ride but would occasionally say something, especially when they entered his town and he’d point out his school and other places he’d often visited). Sunggyu got out of the car and took their bags from the trunk. He was almost too quick for Maeri, but he waited for her at the door. “Are you ready?”

“No,” she replied. And he smiled at that. He took her hand.
“Let’s do this.”

He let go of her hand almost as soon as his sister answered the door because she enveloped him in a tight and long hug, which left Maeri standing there awkwardly for a long time. But when his sister finally greeted Maeri, Maeri offered her help almost immediately, and the other accept it and ushered the both of them inside.

As Maeri had expected, she spent most of the day in the kitchen with his sister, whose name was Jieun, which she hadn’t heard from Sunggyu but from Jieun’s husband. Sunggyu had tried to stay in the kitchen with them, but Jieun eventually kicked him out and told him to go to the park with his brother-in-law and nephew, who had cried when Sunggyu tried to pick him up because the man was a virtual stranger to him. Indeed Sunggyu should spend more time with his nephew, but Maeri didn’t want him to leave her. She shot him a pleading look when he agreed to go, but then he reminded her, in quick whispers, how he had to play baduk with her father. Maeri relented and watched the three of them go.

With Sunggyu gone, Jieun began interrogating Maeri, who she was, where she was from, what did she do for a living, whatever questions had popped into her mind. Maeri had been prepared for this. After all, she was Sunggyu’s closest living relative now. Jieun took up the role of sister and mother for him now.

Luckily, Jieun appeared satisfied with Maeri’s answers (and Maeri more luckily didn’t have to bring up her most recent relationship either). She was happy that her brother had a support system in his new town (even though Jieun had no idea how close it had been to collapsing recently). And after all of the questioning, Jieun decided to give Maeri some answers and give Sunggyu much embarrassment. She showed Maeri his baby pictures and told her stories about them as children. Often, she’d touch upon their parents, and her voice would get caught in , her eyes glistened. And Maeri would fall silent. She never knew how to console any one well, especially strangers. But Jieun seemed to like reminiscing and continued to do so once the men came back. Initially Sunggyu was embarrassed and anxious to see the women clutching unto an old photo album, but after sitting down with them and talking, he and his sister shared a lot of stories together. Maeri and Jieun’s husband seemed to fall into the background as the siblings went over memories. And it was alright. It was time for family, their past family. They’ll return to their present family tomorrow.

Maeri and Jieun’s husband continued to be in the background when the memorial ceremony officially began, for the most part. Maeri did hold onto Sunggyu’s hand as they made their way to the gravesite, and he poked at her cheek when he noticed that she was holding her breath again, like she did the last time that they’d come here. Maeri never imagined that she would come here again with him nearly a year later, but at this moment, it felt like where she needed to be.

When they were finished, had dinner, and were getting ready for bed, Jieun grew even more serious, stared straight at her brother, and insisted that they sleep in different rooms. After all, she had a young and impressionable child, and she needed Sunggyu to be on his best behavior. And Sunggyu was offended that his sister felt obligated to say that. As for Maeri, she watched this all unfold with a smile. It reminded her a bit of herself and Jonghyun but closer, since those two were closer in age than she was with Jonghyun. They were definitely family.

In the end, Maeri slept in the guest bedroom, and Sunggyu was supposed to sleep on a couch in the living room. However, after a sleepless night, very early the next morning, Maeri heard a few knocks on the bedroom door.

“Yes?” Maeri woke up with a start at the knocks and groggily answered. She had supposed it would be Jieun, since it was her house, but when the door cracked open and a familiar head poked through.

“Can I come in?” Sunggyu asked. Maeri guessed he was really asking if she was decent enough for him to come in because he wasn’t even looking towards the bed but at the floor. And when Maeri told him to come in, he slipped in through the door and quietly closed it behind him. He then made his way over to her bed and flopped over the edge of it, laying down with his back to Maeri. She smiled and poked him with her foot, but he wouldn’t budge. Instead he made this excuse: “My sister is making breakfast. The kid is awake too.” He then craned his neck back to look at her. “I can’t sleep.”

Maeri propped herself up, while giving him a good look. “Did you get any sleep?” she asked because from the look of his face, he had spent 5 nights wide awake.

“I didn’t,” he admitted.

Maeri shifted over to a side of the bed and asked, “Not a bit?”

“A little bit.” Maeri would never know if that was the truth or a lie, but what was the truth was that he didn’t get nearly enough sleep. Maeri poked at him with her foot again and patted the spot next to her. Sunggyu gladly took the hint and crawled up the bed to lie next to her.

“I offered you the bed,” she reminded him. The night before, the both of them tried to get the other to sleep on the bed, and after dancing back and forth about it for a while, Jieun shoved Maeri in the direction of the bedroom and her brother onto the couch.

“It wasn’t just the bed,” he grumbled as he wrapped his arms around her, and Maeri did the same to him. “It’s this place,” he wasn’t even trying to talk coherently now, focusing more on making himself comfortable and warm. He felt cold to her touch, which probably meant that he hadn’t felt warm all night. However, Maeri knew that wasn’t the only reason why he couldn’t sleep. It wasn’t just this place, but the whole situation. It was obvious that all he wanted, all he needed, now was comfort, but he had to be alone. Maeri kissed the top of his head and began his hair. Once she did, she also felt him relax, and he held onto her more tightly and let go of a deep breath. “Let’s go home after breakfast.”

“Okay,” Maeri agreed.

They laid like that, petting each other and whispering softly, for who knows how long, but to them it felt short. Maeri could see Sunggyu finally drifting off to sleep again, when his sister burst into the bedroom with her son in tow. Her son, who jumped onto the bed because he realized that he liked this stranger of an uncle and wanted to play with him.

Maeri and Sunggyu didn’t end up going home after breakfast. Jieun had a full day planned for them because she wanted to spend more time with her brother. They went to the zoo, which Maeri had always wanted to do anyway with Sunggyu, and so she didn’t mind going, even if it was with his family. But even that, Maeri didn’t mind. She was happy to see another side to them that wasn’t in mourning, that was celebrating life instead. Maeri was having fun with them, even with the little nephew, who started to grow less afraid of her too like he’d done with his uncle. And Maeri, in turn, was less afraid of the child too. She’d always been scared of accidentally hurting children, whether it’d be physically or emotionally, that she’d limited her interaction with them. Like she wouldn’t allow herself to hold Haeun for very long and would only hold her when she felt like she could hold the baby securely. But right now she was lifting up Sunggyu’s nephew so that he could see the lions better. It might’ve been because this boy was older than Haeun or because Maeri was older and more sure of herself, but there was a definite change within her too.

Near the end of the day, things grew somber again when the siblings began to discuss what to do for their mother’s memorial in a few weeks. Sunggyu promised to come down then. And Maeri was once again invited to come. This time she suspected the invitation had less to do with pushing Sunggyu out of the door and more to do with the fact that Jieun had taken a liking to her (or at least Maeri hoped it did). After they made plans for next time, they said their goodbyes and left. This time Sunggyu drove them home.

When they arrived at her parents’ home, Sunggyu thanked Maeri for coming with him, making it all easier for him, and then said, “I love you.”

To which, Maeri said, “Take care of yourself,” before leaving the car and going into her house. She knew that it wasn’t the reply he’d wanted nor did she want to see his expression after she said it. So she’d scurried into the house, away from him. With one phrase, she felt like she undid all of the help and comfort that she’d given she this weekend.

But she wasn’t ready to say it, not yet.

Hani didn’t know what made her feel like she was ready to do so, but here she was in the next town over, in a bar, alone. Hani didn’t know what made her feel like she could do this alone, but here she was sitting at the bar with a cheap beer in her hands, with no one else sitting at her side, not even a stranger. What Hani did know was that she missed her mother, and she’d been missing her mother ever since she left.

Hani had refused to admit just how much she missed her mother or how long she’d waited for her mother to come see her, to come find her, to take her runaway bunny back home with her. Hani even waited for her mother when she was in England, fantasizing about her mother showing up at the doorstep of her flat, but she never did. Her mother never came.

So Hani decided to go to her mother, tonight. She was in her mother’s town, in the bar that her mother owned. And she was terrified.

So why tonight of all nights? Hani’s curiosity had finally gotten the best of her. And that curiosity had been constantly growing ever since Maeri and Sunggyu had gotten together. While Hani absolutely did not approve of how they got together, she could not deny how well those two matched. It made her wonder about her mother’s relationship, if the years that had passed would make Hani think more clearly and see how happy her mother was with this man, how her father did not suit her. She hoped seeing that would put her heart and mind at rest after all of this time.

But now both her heart and mind were racing, no sprinting with anxious. She found it difficult to sit still or to breath because somewhere nearby was her mother, and Hani just now realized that she had not planned for much farther than this. She didn’t think of what to say to her mother or how to act. Her only plan was to “sit and wait for my mother to recognize me.”

And that plan inevitably failed. Waiting for her mother never worked, and after not seeing her mother for ten years, the woman served her some bar snacks and then left to tend to another customer. She barely even looked up at Hani. And Hani, like always, made excuses for it. It was a busy Saturday night at the bar, and she was the weird loner who’d imbibe in a drink or two and then be on her way. As a customer, Hani wasn’t worth more attention. But as a daughter…

(Her mother, on the other hand, was very easy to recognize. It looked as if she’d barely aged a day since Hani had last seen her. She was still as beautiful and vibrant as ever, joking loudly with returning customers, smiling easily and often. Either she was blessed with such an appearance or she was diligent in upkeeping them).

The recognition did come, but her mother had to be prompted for it to happen. Hani handed her mother her credit card to pay. After staring at the card for a few moments, her mother finally looked at her and spoke: “Hani, why did you come here?”

Hani’s throat tightened. Her eyes grew wet, but still there was a smile on her face. “I don’t know,” she admitted with a shake of her head, as if she was being silly. And she truly felt incredibly silly right now. I should’ve just stayed home. “I missed you. I was curious about how you were doing. I wanted to see you.”

Her mother handed the card back to her daughter and beckoned her to get up. “Come with me.” With that and with a few shouts at the bartender, who Hani recognized as the young man all of those years ago holding her mother’s hand, her mother then led her out the back door of the bar, into the back alley, where they could talk in private.

Once they were in that alley, her mother faced her and gave her a look so full of warmth and yearning that Hani felt like she was finally seeing her mother again, the one from her memories. She hugged her daughter, tightly. When she pulled away, she cradled Hani’s cheeks, giving her a big smile, and asked “What has been going on with you? Tell me everything!”

“I’ve been in England until last year,” Hani started but was soon interrupted by her mother’s enthusiasm.

“England? Wow!” she exclaimed and dropped her hands from her daughter’s face. Her eyes was glittering with excitement, and Hani felt wrapped up in it, smiling broadly too. “Did you find a nice English gentleman?”

“No,” she confessed.

Her mother pouted. “That’s unfortunate,” she was disappointed and the spark of excitement she had flickered away, which made Hani felt as if she did something wrong. “So when do you go back?” her mother’s voice grew flat.

Hani raised an eyebrow. Go back? Back to England? Then again, how was her mother supposed to know that this wasn’t just a visit? “I don’t. I’m staying here,” Hani replied.

“What? Why?” More disappointment oozed from her mother, especially from her eyes.

“Someone needs to look after Dad,” Hani explained as if she were defending herself. “His health isn’t good these days.” It wasn’t as if her father was dying, but since he was older, moving wasn’t as easy as it used to be. And instead of having her father risk injury, Hani wanted to come back and help around the house. Besides his physical health, her father needed the company for his mental health too. He might not feel like he could ever find love again, but he had the love of his daughters to fill his heart.

“Your father was always too needy like that,” her mother responded with a roll of her eyes and a frustrated huff. She gestured agitatedly at her daughter. “And now he’s wasting your youth like this! He made you move from England into that boring town!” She became more and more worked up. “You could’ve been the one to marry Prince Harry!”

Hani couldn’t decide which of her mother’s exclamations seemed the most ridiculous. She remembered that her mother had a vivid imagination, but this was more than just ‘imagining.’ It was projecting. “Dad didn’t make me do anything,” Hani defended him, and herself, “I move back on my own.” She refused to let her mother believe that she’d been manipulated.

And she couldn’t tell if her mother believed her or not. Her expression was difficult to read, even more so since she wouldn’t look her daughter in the eye. “That was a silly thing to do,” her mother replied lowly. “Your future would’ve been brighter there.”

“I think my future is bright enough,” Hani snapped back, which also made her mother to look at her once again.

“That could be true,” she agreed. “What do you do?”

“I’m a librarian.”

Her mother broke into a loud and roaring laughter. “You’re kidding, right?” It was as if this was the most ridiculous thing that her mother had heard in a long, long time. Hani nodded only a little bit, afraid to admit it. Her mother’s laughter died down into a smile of disbelief. “You could’ve been anything. You could’ve even been an actress!” she exclaimed. She also could read her daughter’s confusion easily. “I tried when you were younger, but your father refused to let me take you to auditions. The silly man,” she clarified and insulted her ex-husband again for not giving her what she wanted. She then turned to ‘attack’ her daughter now, pointing at her. “And you! You went to England, and you came back to be a librarian. Of all things,” she cut her agitated voice with laughter. Hani winced. It’d hurt her, all of this disappointment radiating from her mother. She looked around, at her mother’s bar. Hani tightened her arms across her chest. What do you expect from a daughter of a bar owner? “It’s not what I had in mind for you,” her mother continued. Same here, Hani was fighting hard to keep her snide remarks to herself. “There’s a lot of your father in you.”

“What is that supposed to mean?” Hani finally burst. Her mother meant that as an insult, but at this point in time, Hani was going to take it as a complement.

“The both of you were never ambitious. You had potential, but...Your sister is ambitious, and look at what she made of herself,” her mother responded, and in that response, Hani found something surprising.

“You talked with unnie?”

Her mother nodded. “She found me about five years ago,” she revealed. Hani’s jaw dropped. Her body froze. Hana had never told her that. Hana never even seemed interested in talking to her mother again, but she did. And she did it before Hani got the courage to do it herself. Hani was so shocked that she almost didn’t register that her mother kept talking. “She had gotten accepted into the law firm then. How is she doing? Did she make partner?”

“Huh?” Hani gasped before continuing. “Oh, she had to cut back on hours to raise her children.”

“Children?!” her mother’s shout pierced her ears. Her hand flew up to her chest as if she received the greatest shock of her life. “God, I feel too young to be a grandmother!” She faced Hani. “You said children? There’s more than one?”

“Yes, two boys,” Hani answered in a distracted voice. Distracted because her mind was putting things together, and she was starting to see the whole picture forming. Five years ago? Hana must’ve been pregnant back then. She had to have been, although she must have not been showing, if her mother had not figured out Hana was pregnant…in a bar. Hana probably came to tell her mother and left without telling because she had realized then what Hani was realizing now. Hani closed her eyes to ask this question, as if it would make it any easier, “Mom, did you really not plan on ever checking up on us?”

“I thought it would be better for you to come to me,” her mother answered more quickly that Hani anticipated that she would. “I was always here.”

“I know, but…” Hani opened her eyes and looked at the woman. “Don’t you care?”

“I do. I wonder about you girls all of the time,” her mother replied. It sounded genuine, which made what she said next all the more confusing: “But you were adults when I left.” No, Hani had just turned into a legal adult when her mother left. She was far from actual being an adult. She still needed her mother. Hana, who was older, still needed her mother. It was a poor excuse, as was what followed: “The choice is yours if you want to have a relationship with me. I had invited you to come with me, but you decided not to.”

Amidst all of those excuses, Hani found a real answer. Her mother harbored a grudge for choosing her father’s side. Why does she hate him so much? Does she hate me as much too? What if I did ‘choose’ he back then? Then what? If Hani had gone to stay with her mother, would her mother push her into a more lucrative career or into the lap of some chaebol? Possibly. Hani possibly would be in Seoul pursuing a life far different from this one.

A life that Hani didn’t want.

Which made her wonder if this was the life that her mother truly wanted. If that was the case, if that was really the case, would it make Hani feel better? “Mom, can I ask you something?”

“Go ahead,” her mother replied, unafraid to answer whatever her daughter was about to ask.

“Do you love him? Was it worth leaving us for him?”

Her mother gave an amused smiled. “Your sister asked me that too when she came,” she replied. She then fixed her eyes on Hani, serious now. “If I give you the same answer as I gave her, you might never come back, like she did.” Hani could see that. If Hani’s personality was closer to her father’s, Hana’s was closer to her mother’s. Both could hold a grudge and be petty. Hana had many redeeming qualities though. She was loyal, honest, and when she cared for you, she cared hard. Hani hoped that she’d inherited that from her mother too.

“Tell me,” Hani’s voice shook.

Her mother finally appeared nervous for the first time that night and drew in a deep breath, preparing to speak. “I married your father when I was young, too young. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life. I didn’t know what I could do,” she was speaking more quickly than before, as if she wanted to get this done and over with. “But what I ended up doing was getting pregnant with your sister,” she confessed. Hani was stunned. Was this the reason why Hana never said anything? “So we married, and then we had you.” Her mother stopped and waited for Hani to meet her gaze. It was only until Hani did so, did she continue, “Your father is a fool, but he is a sweet man. At times, I was happy, but...it wasn’t what I wanted.”

“What did you want?” Hani prompted her. Her arms were across her chest again, bracing herself.

“This,” her mother gestured about her. She then pointed moreso in the direction of the street. “I know it doesn’t look like much, but I own a few shops on this street.”

“Really?” Hani remarked as she looked down the street. She wasn’t interested in knowing what types of shops that her mother owned. All she wanted to know was…Couldn’t she have done that with us?

The answer was no. “That man in there, he gave me a second chance at life,” her mother revealed, speaking about the bartender.

“Do you love him?” Hani repeated the question from earlier, just now realizing that her mother never answered it.

“No,” and that was why she didn’t. Hani raised an eyebrow in question, but her mother just smiled and brought her hands once again to her daughter’s cheeks. And that was when Hani felt it, or more specifically didn’t feel it. There was no ring on her mother’s hands. While rings or the absence of them, ultimately proves or denies relationship statuses, what her mother shared next proved Hani’s suspicions: “But don’t worry. Your mother isn’t lonely.”

The young man for whom she’d left her old family and who gave her a second chance at life, that man was nothing more than a bartender to her now. And whatever man was keeping her company now, Hani doubted that her mother loved him either. He didn’t matter enough to brag about him to her daughter. In this new life, her mother did not want to live for a man or for her children, but for herself alone.

 “Oh, that’s good then,” that was all Hani could manage to say. After that, she was speechless.

Her mother let her go and began to head back inside. “I have to go back inside. It’s a busy night,” she announced.

But before she could go, Hani wanted one thing from her. “Mom?” She wanted a hug from her mother, and she lifted her arms in a silent plea for one.

And her mother gave it to her. In spite of everything said tonight, the hug felt warm and comforting. “Good night, Hani,” she told her daughter before pulling away. “Don’t worry about paying. It’s on the house.”

That was all she said. There was no promise, no request that they see each other again soon, and that was perhaps for the best. Hani didn’t know if she wanted to.

That woman that she met with wasn’t her mother but a woman who was living her second life, who could easily leave it for a third or fourth.

And that was why Hana never saw her again. But would Hani do the same?

She had a lot of thinking to do.

At some point in time, children don’t see their parents as only their parents anymore but as people. Hani had closed her eyes and refused to see who her mother really was for years. While she was jovial, charismatic, and beautiful, (a woman that could make you feel special and loved as much as she wanted you too) she was petty and self-centered. She viewed relationships as what they could provide for her, how could she benefit from them. At a young age, Hani’s father probably gave her a sense of self-worth and the attention that she wanted (He was also a very handsome and bright man who could’ve been far more important than he actually ended up being). He then became the father that she needed. And then later, that young man came into her life and gave her the second chance she wanted. So she took his hand and ran away with him. But he outlived his purpose too.

Instead of being comforted by the sight of her mother, Hani became more depressed. Her mother hardly recognized her. Her mother had no idea how she was living life, even in this age of social media. Hani had accounts on nearly every social media platform, posted pictures, messages, and short videos hoping that her mother would see them. But her mother didn’t even try to find her in person, online, anywhere. She may have thought of her daughters often, but was she concerned about them?

Hani now understood why her father became catatonic all of those years ago. Hani felt like doing nothing herself. She had come home and headed straight for her bed and hadn’t moved in hours, not even to wash herself or to answer her phone that was ringing with messages.

Eventually, she did reach for her phone and deactivated all social media accounts. Afterwards, she went to bed.

Woohyun’s apartment was starting to feel like his. He was playing whatever music he wanted, singing when he wanted, and ate, well, everything. And although many were against it, being alone like this was healing for him. He was starting to feel more like himself again, a version of himself that he hadn’t been in a long time.

At his core, Woohyun was an introvert, surprisingly. However, with Maeri and his other friends, he fell into their extraverted ways. It tired him to be that sociable, constantly, but he’d been doing it for so long that Woohyun had forgotten how refreshing it was to be by himself. So in spite of his situation, he had more energy now, not just physically but emotionally too. Slowly but surely, he was getting to a better place.

And at this moment of relishing in his loneliness, a text came in to threaten it all. Boohyun had messaged him, wanting to set his little brother up on a blind date.

Although Woohyun was enjoying his time alone, he was still took Koko on walks, even though it was less frequent than before. It wasn’t like walking Koko around the park was much different than walking by himself, but walking the dog came with an extra perk. And that perk was standing outside of her house with Koko ready and waiting for him. But unlike usual, when Hani would be looking for him, it didn’t seem like Hani was looking much at anything except the thoughts racing back and forth in her head. Woohyun knew that feeling very well now. An elephant could pass her by and she wouldn’t notice.

He had thought that he could sneak up on her in this state and shock her out of whatever funk that she was in, but Koko had caught him, either by scent or by sight, and began barking in excitement. Hani was startled, but as soon as she noticed it was Woohyun approaching, she relaxed and handed Koko over to him.

However, Woohyun still managed to shock her with his questions: “What happened to your Instagram? And Facebook page?”

“Huh?”

“You forgot that I used to manage the social media accounts for companies,” Woohyun reminded her. “Before I got my promotion last month. But I guess I keep track of things out of habit.” Out of habit and also he was just also a naturally curious person. He was keeping track of all sort of accounts that he shouldn’t be (Why was she at a zoo with a little kid of all things?).

“Promotion? Congratulations,” this time Hani pulled him away from his thoughts.

But he acted as if he’d been ‘there’ the whole time. “Noona, I told you about it last time,” he .

“You did?” Oh gosh, she seemed genuinely confused and all out of sorts.

Woohyun nodded. “Your mind seems to be somewhere else right now,” he came out with it.

“It is,” Hani was honest to a fault. “I went to see my mother yesterday.” And Woohyun honestly was surprised that she shared that with him. What happened between Hani and her mother in high school was no secret, but she and Woohyun had never directly addressed it. Hani never addressed it. Until now.

Which meant she really needed someone to talk to. Woohyun took her hand and placed the leash in it. He grinned at her confused response. “Let’s walk together, and you can tell me about it,” he offered. He then nodded down to the dog. “Or tell Koko about it. It always makes me feel better.”

Hani gave the leash back to him, which in turn made him the confused one. She smiled back. “Let me get my coat.”

It was a long walk around the park. In fact, Woohyun had to carry Koko multiple times, but it was as long as it had to be for them to talk everything through. What she said about her mother wasn’t what he’d expected, but it all seemed to fit, given that this was a woman who left her family as soon as she felt like she could. And it also explained the change in Oh Hani. It didn’t just explain her ‘funk’ at the moment, but the perceptible personality shift she had since her mother left. While she was cheerful by nature, she grew more reserved and was content more than happy. Woohyun wouldn’t go as far to say that she became ‘jaded’ but rather she worn out by the realities of the world.

“That’s a lot,” he remarked, once she was done.

“It is,” Hani concurred.

“Why did you go to see her now?” That was the only thing she hadn’t spoken about, and Woohyun wasn’t going to act like he hadn’t noticed.

“I was curious,” she spoke after some thought and with a heavy sigh. “I hadn’t tried to see her since it happened.”

Woohyun whistled lowly. “That’s a long time.” Hani nodded solemnly. It was obvious that her mind was drifting away again, probably towards that mother who’d now become a stranger to her. And that was a dangerous place to be. Woohyun patted her on the shoulder. “Congratulations,” he exclaimed once she looked over at him. “On finally doing it! Good job! It must’ve been hard.”

Hani smiled and she lifted herself up. A bit of pride was swelling inside of her. “It was. It was really hard,” she confessed. But then she deflated shortly afterwards. “Oh, we’re back home already.”

“Yea,” Woohyun muttered, unsure of what to do next. They didn’t seem finished just yet. “Do you…”

“I have something for you! Hold on!” Hani exclaimed before darting inside of her house.

“O-okay,” Woohyun stammered out as he watched her retreat. He then looked down at Koko, who was staring right back at him, tail wagging. Woohyun shrugged and began petting and playing with the dog until Hani returned with a small tree in her hands.

 “Here! It's a housewarming gift and a birthday present,” she announced as she exchanged the plant for Koko’s leash. “I saw that you moved recently.”

Woohyun smirked. “See? Social media is useful isn’t it. It got me a present,” he . “Thank you, but…I really didn’t move. I just...claimed the apartment.” Don’t get him wrong, Woohyun was still going to take the present, but he felt weird taking it as a housewarming gift.

“Well, it might not be a new place, but it's yours now,” Hani reasoned. “You’ll make it new.”

“True.” That had been exactly what he was trying to do since he moved in. “What is it anyway?” he asked while turning it around as if the answer was written somewhere on the pot.

“Jade dwarf bonsai,” Hani told him. “I thought it was cute. It’s always nice to have something else living in the same room, isn't it?”

“Yea,” he mumbled, still inspecting the pot. “Where did you get this?”

“Just the nursery. Over there. Why?” Hani answered.

“I think I'm going to need at least three more,” he finally lowered the plant and replied. He then looked down the road where he supposed the nursery was.

But his head snapped back once he heard Hani laughing. And he slowly watched her laughter die down when she realized, “Oh, you’re serious.”

Woohyun nodded. “I've never been in a nursery before.”

It seemed like a random statement, but Hani knew what he was really asking: “Do you want me to...come? And help?”

“Yes, please.”

Woohyun must’ve been eager to fill his apartment with more life or to have plans with someone outside of his usual group of friends (recently, it had become obvious that they were all talking with that guy again, as if things had returned to normal, except they were doing it behind Woohyun’s back). A few days later, when it was the weekend, Woohyun was at the nursery with Hani, placing plant after plant in his dolly, whichever one caught his eye.

“Does your car have enough room for all of this?” Hani asked after Woohyun placed another large, leafy fern onto the dolly. He didn’t know what it was called, but it looked like it was sad and needed to be taken care of. So he put it next to the already wilting orchid and the succulent on its last legs.

“Don’t shame me,” Woohyun muttered as he rearranged his sad collection of plants, trying to make room for some more. “You started this.”

“I didn’t think you’d plant a rain forest in your living room,” Hani sounded worried, and when she crouched down next to him, Woohyun could see that she was, in fact, very worried, both over him and the plant. She plucked a dead leaf from one of the pots and inspected it, while choosing her words wisely. “Do you have enough light for all of these?”

“Oh,” he mumbled. His eyes flickered from the dead leaf in her hands to the ones littering the dolly. What was the point in trying to rescue these things if he could feasibly do it?  Nothing would be sadder than to watch something slowly die, again. Woohyun stood up and straightened out his pant legs as his eyes darted around the greenhouse. “Where’s a worker? I think I need help.”

Once they had the help of a worker, Woohyun ended up with four more lively-looking and moderately-sized plants that should suit his living space. Hani had hung back a little while the worker took Woohyun around the nursery and helped him to pick out plants. Every so often, Woohyun would look back and see her investigating other plants a few steps away. She was giving him space to make his own decisions. Woohyun appreciated it. Lately too many people have been giving him input when he did not ask for it. It was his apartment, and so his opinion mattered most.

However, when they were checking out, he did notice that Hani was carrying the wilting orchid that Woohyun had put back earlier. And when Woohyun gave her a questioning look, she explained, “I like the color of it. No other orchid had this many colors.”

“Including brown?” Woohyun joked, pointing at the petal’s curling edges.

“Eung,” she agreed and bought the orchid anyway.

Woohyun smiled. She got it.

“I wasn’t much help, was I?” Hani asked after they walked out of the store and climbed back into the car.

Woohyun quickly shook his head. “Not true,” he argued. “You’ve been a lot of help today. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

Hani snorted softly out of her nose. “You could have, but” she paused to buckle herself in, and then she turned towards him, with a soft smile, “it was fun.”

Woohyun held her gaze for a bit before she turned to face the window, but even then, he kept his eyes on her. “Noona?” he called out to her. She glanced over at him out of the corner of her eye, raising an eyebrow. “Do you think that I should start dating again?”

“What?” Hani whipped her head towards him. Her eyes wide. She was shocked.

“Hyung wants me to meet with someone,” Woohyun clarified, with a nervous smile. From the look on her face, it seemed like Hani didn’t think he should. “It’s too soon, isn’t it?”

Her face grew blank, and she faced forward again. Her eyes, however, kept darting from the windshield to Woohyun and back again. “A blind date?” she concluded. He nodded for longer than he usually would because he wasn’t sure when Hani would catch it with her wandering gaze. When she did, she faced him again, but her eyes were still wandering. “Honestly…you should go only if you feel ready.”

“When will I feel ready?” Woohyun shot back, when she’d just barely finished. That just showed how lost he felt now.

“I don’t know,” Hani responded with a slight and nervous laugh. “Only you will.”

“I suppose that’s true,” Woohyun agreed with her only in word. He had no idea of how to gauge whether he’d be ready or not. His heart, his mind, his stomach too, they were all out of sorts these days, being fine one second and worsening in another. He couldn’t predict how any part of him would feel at any given moment. He thought Hani might’ve had more insight as an outsider, but perhaps she was too far outside to have a well-formed opinion on the matter. Maybe she didn’t know him as well as he thought she did.

After dropping Hani off, Woohyun had a long time to mull it over as he drove home and then set up his plants. He concluded that there was only one way to figure out if he was ready. He texted Boohyun back and asked for the woman’s number.

After exchanging a few messages, they decided on a date and time. They were going to eat at a European style restaurant on the day after his birthday. Woohyun supposed that was fitting. He was going to embark on a new year in his life with a new relationship. Or that was the hope.

On his actual birthday, he, of course, went home to celebrate it with his family that evening (only the non-Nam at his table was Jonghyun, as per Woohyun’s request). Before he went home, he had lunch on Dongwoo’s dime, who seemed shocked that Woohyun had a date the next day. And since his mind had already settled on it, Woohyun couldn’t see why he couldn’t date. If Maeri was with Sunggyu already, why couldn't he try to move on? What was stopping him? After that heated remark, Dongwoo wished him luck and then clammed up.

Woohyun felt guilty for losing his temper, but lately, he felt as if he was losing support from his friends. Why did it seem as if they were all clambering to the other side? What had Woohyun done to deserve that? What had he done to deserve any of this?

And perhaps that mindset wasn’t the best to have when on a blind date. Woohyun had to remind himself to smile when introducing himself and to laugh at her attempts at humor (and she might’ve been genuinely funny, but Woohyun was too distracted to notice). But his mood was obvious as his laughter always came a second to late and the smiles never moved beyond his lips.

Woohyun was in a slump, one that was like quicksand. The more that he’d tried to get out, the deeper that he fell into it. And this date made him reach another level of darkness.

His date was lovely though, pretty too. She had one of those faces that became more pleasing the more you looked at it. If you saw it enough, you’d swear that she was the most beautiful girl in the world. But Woohyun couldn’t look at her for long, and so his heart remained unmoved.

She’d also been perfectly pleasant and kind, until Woohyun hit upon a major flaw: desperation. She wanted to get married as soon as she could. She hadn’t outright confessed it, but Woohyun could piece it together from the stories she told of her friends and their husbands and the yearning in her eyes. It was all too familiar to him. He froze the moment he realized it, and his throat tightened, making it hard for him to swallow the steak he’d been eating.

“What is it?” She was kind enough to notice her date’s distress.

“You want to get married,” he pointed out after a hard swallow.

Her smile altered and twitched. “Yes, don’t you?” there was apprehension in her voice. When Woohyun gave a short nod, she relaxed. “Then what’s the issue? I fail to see it.”

“You seem to be the type who’d marry quickly,” Woohyun came out with it. There was no sense in being dishonest at this point. He’d already ruined the date from the moment he’d agreed to it. He obviously was not ready. “You won't get your happy ending by racing through the story.”

“Uh true, but if it's fated…”

“There's no such thing,” Woohyun cut her off right there, surprising her and himself after he realized what he’d just said (and how much he meant it). The mutual shock passed over a moment of silence. Woohyun apologized, “Sorry, I don't know why I said that. I'm just...going through something difficult right now.”

“I know. I heard it all from Boohyun,” his date confessed. “I'm sorry.”

No one was sorrier than Woohyun was.

Hours before Woohyun had his excruciating date, Hani had an immensely awkward lunch of her own. She and Maeri finally met up again for the first time after the break-up. It was awkward because both were afraid to say too much. Hani did not know how Maeri figured it out, but within moments of them talking, Maeri realized that Hani had been seeing Woohyun regularly, while not meeting with her. Hani, of course, had the excuse of being the local librarian and Woohyun recently becoming her new dog walker. But other than that, she didn’t admit to the extent of their relationship. Maeri was already asking too many questions about how Woohyun looked and acted. If Maeri knew that they had extensive conversations, Hani would be made into an informant, and she didn’t want to be that for them. She wanted to be their friend and not their spy.

So for every question Maeri had about Woohyun, Hani asked one about her relationship with Sunggyu, hoping that it would lead them into a different conversation. But it never did. Maeri was holding back as well. And it took Hani until the end of their lunch date to realize why: in Maeri’s eyes, Sunggyu was her ex. Which would also explain why it took them this long to meet again. Hani didn’t want to be a spy, and Maeri didn’t want to be the friend who snatched the ex-boyfriend.

Hani tried to assure her that everything was fine, but it would take much convincing and time to change Maeri’s mind. And in Maeri’s mind, it was impossible not to love both Sunggyu and Hani, so there had to be some love between them. However, in time, Maeri would see why Sunggyu never loved Hani and why Hani didn’t love him.

Hopefully by that time, some sort of peace treaty had been drawn between Maeri and Woohyun. Hani didn’t know how much more of this she could take. It was growing more and more difficult for her to act ‘impartial.’

The following day, Hani’s attempt at ‘impartiality’ faltered again. Woohyun came into the library. He had no book to return or to pick-up, and he didn’t seem to be looking for one. He was just sitting in a chair in nook, with his hands folded over his stomach and eyes closed. Hani hadn’t even seen or heard him come in, but she stumbled upon him as she was trying to find a book for a patron. Quickly, Hani pulled out the textbook that the student needed and then went over to the slumbering man. She stood next to him for a few seconds, wondering what to say, but she needn’t say anything at all. Woohyun opened one eye, and once he caught sight of her, both eyes flew open and he nearly jumped out of his seat.

Hani jumped too. “Oh my gosh, I didn’t mean to startle you!”

“Well, you did a good job of it,” Woohyun remarked with a slight pant. His hand was over his heart, trying to soothe it back to normal.

“I didn’t expect you to be napping here,” Hani said as if it were an excuse (as if she needed one).

“I wasn’t napping,” he spoke as a defense (as if he needed to defend himself).

“Then what are you doing?” Hani asked him. To which, Woohyun only shrugged. Laughter bubbled forth and Hani tried to choke it down but failed. What is this boy doing? Just how lost is he?So Hani decided to give him a question that he knew he could answer: “How did the date go?”

“I don’t think I was ready,” Woohyun mumbled while rubbing his face. It seemed like he grew tired just by recalling the date. He then propped his cheek with his hand and glanced up at her. “I really don’t want to date for the sake of dating anymore. I should only date when the right person comes along…so that means I’ll be alone forever.” Hani pursed her lips, for less than a second, but it didn’t escape Woohyun’s sharp eye. “What?” he asked.

“Nothing,” Hani tried to dismiss it, but Woohyun didn’t stop staring her down, waiting for an answer. So she finally admitted to it, “Okay not nothing.” She sighed. “I was thinking about my dad. He felt the same, and he adopted Koko because of it.”

Woohyun perked up. Hani could read his thoughts before his questions poured forth: “Did it work? Does he feel less lonely?” She shook her head. The last thing Woohyun needed now was a pack of pets to live in that rain forest of an apartment of his. Disappointed, he slunk back down into his seat. “Will anything work?”

“Time?” Hani suggested.

Woohyun didn’t like that. He didn’t like that at all. “No!” he yelped with a stamp of his foot. Hani put a finger to her lips, but he ignored it and kept squirming out of defiance. Hani would’ve found it cute, if it weren’t drawing attention from her coworkers. So she had to put an end to it. She spun around and began to walk away. That made him stop immediately. “Wait. Where are you going?”

Hani spun back around to see Woohyun practically hanging out of his chair. She grinned. “Away from the grown man throwing a tantrum,” she , but the moment she thought Woohyun took her seriously she spat out, “I’m kidding! I’m getting you a book.” She continued to step backwards from him as she spoke.

“What is it?” he asked, raising his voice (too much for a library) since she was walking away.

Hani put up her hand, silently telling him to sit and wait. And he could definitely wait. It wouldn’t take her long to get the book. She knew exactly where it was not because she was a librarian but because she’d often pick it up to read snippets from it. Soon, she was back by Woohyun’s side with the book in her hand. “Persuasion,” she said as she presented it to him. Woohyun looked at the book and then at her. He didn’t take it. Hani nudged his hand with the book. “Don’t dismiss it too quickly.”

“I wasn’t,” Woohyun insisted as he finally accepted the book. He then opened the book to flip through the pages. “It’s just…”

“It’s my favorite novel,” Hani interjected before he could continue that thought. Woohyun shut his mouth tightly and gazed up at her. “It reallyis,” she emphasized. “Jane Austen understands that love takes time, and that you cannot talk someone into or out of love.”

“Persuasion,” Woohyun repeated under his breath. His brows creased in thought as his eyes dropped down to the book. His hand slid across the cover. Once again, Hani could guess what was on his mind, who was on his mind.

“Exactly,” Hani chirped with a grin, which snapped the other out of his reverie. “Things will happen when they should…I think.” The way he was looking at her made her doubt if what she was saying was actually encouraging.

“Thanks for the recommendation,” Woohyun said, but he handed the book back to her. He then stood up. “I have to go,” with that announcement, he left the library and left Hani with the book and hundreds of concerns.

Once she could no longer see him, Hani sighed and went to put the book back. Time, she thought. Time is all he needs. Not a book. She just hoped that it wouldn’t take 10 long years as it had for Anne Elliot and Captain Wentworth.

“Let’s get married.”

“Huh? I bought you dinner and ice cream for your birthday. That wasn’t enough. Now you want me? You’re crazy.”

“Come on. Remember that promise we made? Well, we’re both 30 and single.”

“We were 18.”

“So? It still doesn’t change the fact. Our parents keep asking us why we aren’t married, why we aren’t marrying each other.”

“Because we’re just friends.”

“Aren’t married couples friends?”

Woohyun rolled around on his bed, groaning, as he recalled that memory. Why? Why did he try to persuade her that it was a good idea? Why did he try to persuade himself?

What was he possibly trying to persuade himself of now?

Suddenly he sat up, pin straight. Then he hung his head with a heavy sigh. He was going to get very little sleep tonight, yet again. He grabbed his phone to look at the time, which he shouldn’t have done. It led him down the rabbit holes of his camera roll and social media. Like that, hours passed by. His eyes grew heavy, but they would not drop. They were stuck on the screen of his phone, not wanting to miss a thing.

At one point in time, his thumb hovered over a certain number, poised to call. This wasn’t the first time that this had happened. And it certainly would not be the last. Just like how the next night might be passed in a similar fashion.

He tossed the phone onto a chair next to his bed, realizing (once again) how dangerous it was, especially when it was late and his mind was tired and weak. He then threw his arms over his eyes, effectively closing them once and for all, and exhaled deeply.

I didn’t need Hani to call me out like this. I really didn’t.

The end of March came surprisingly fast for how torturously slow the beginning of the year had been for Woohyun. It could’ve been because work was picking up. Projects had come and gone, and Woohyun was kept busy with little time to think of anything else, which might’ve contributed to his mood being lifted, little by little. He wouldn’t say he was particularly happy now, but he liked where he was as opposed to where he had been earlier this year. He felt as if he was gripping at the edges of his slump, close to pulling himself out.

Even when he met Sungyeol’s child, he wasn’t as affected by envy as he thought he would be. No, in fact, it was truly surreal to see Sungyeol walk into the office with a newborn strapped to his chest. He was taking care of the baby for an hour or two while Soyeon was at some sort of medical appointment. Woohyun didn’t want to pry. He only wanted to hold little cutie.

After a little coercing, Woohyun managed to do so. He’d forgotten what was the baby’s name already and even what gender it was, but there was no forgetting that it was Sungyeol’s child. Not only was Sungyeol hovering close by, hands outstretched and ready to catch his precious child in case Woohyun were to lose control of it (which was nuts because the baby could not even lift it’s own head and barely knew that its hands were its own). But the child had the same round eyes, which were piercing through Woohyun one moment and then closed for the rest of the time.

Yet even at that moment, Woohyun was okay. There was no flare of jealousy, no overwhelming desire to have a child of his own soon, no tumult in his heart. He had nothing but happiness for Sungyeol. He was okay.

“So are you going?”

“Huh?” Woohyun hadn’t been listening (once again) to Sungyeol. “What did you say?”

Sungyeol took his child away from Woohyun, deeming that his coworker had enough time with the baby and that he’d put the baby at risk for long enough. “I said,” he began but he was momentarily distracted as he secured his child back onto his chest. Woohyun was shocked by how quickly and easily he did it. Sungyeol might have been a new dad, but he was quickly becoming seasoned. Satisfied, Sungyeol looked up at his coworker and continued, “Are you going to Hoya’s party later tonight? I’m going. Not with this cute, little accessory though. But Soyeon said that it’d be okay if I went. And I…I could really use a drink.” He paused for a moment, probably fantasizing about the moment that soju could pass through his lips again. Woohyun could tell it was that judging by Sungyeol’s smile. “So are you coming? It’d be fun.”

Dongwoo had mentioned this get-together to Woohyun the other night. Dongwoo was strongly encouraging that he go, a little too strongly for Woohyun’s tastes. Woohyun wasn’t an easy one to trick. And so when Dongwoo said ‘everyone’ was invited, Woohyun knew who else was included in that ‘everyone.’ Because of that, Woohyun told Dongwoo that he’d ‘think about it.’ What he really meant was ‘no, thank you’? But now, Woohyun was actually thinking about it, mulling it over, wondering how bad it would be.

Woohyun’s eyes dropped down to the kid strapped to Sungyeol’s chest. Maybe it will be okay. He then grinned up at his coworker. “Yea, I’m coming.”

If it’s just the one of them, then it’ll be okay.

“Are you sure that I can come?”

“Yes, yes, yes,” Sunggyu spoke in a tired voice. He didn’t like that he was losing patience with Maeri, but this was possibly the hundredth time that she was checking this with him. Now she had called him one more time the day of, just to make sure again (also to ask where it was so that she dressed appropriately). “I checked with others. Some of them are bringing dates, so it’s all good.” And it was while he was saying that, when the perfect person to convince her was walking down the hallway towards him. Sunggyu sped up to intercept him and put his phone to Howon’s mouth. “Right, tell her that she can come tonight.”

“Please come tonight,” Howon spoke as if it were a script. “My birthday won’t be complete without you.” Sunggyu then gave him a thumbs up and put the phone back to his ear. It was then when Howon asked, “Who was that?”

“Who else? It’s Yoo Maeri,” Sunggyu replied and continued down the hall away from the birthday boy.

“Oh,” Howon muttered as Sunggyu walked past him. When Sunggyu was about to turn the corner, he heard Howon shout, “Oh ! W-wait!”
“I’ll see you tonight!” Sunggyu shouted back at him “I have to go to class!” He then turned the corner and his attention back to Maeri on the other side of the phone. “So did that convince you?”

“Eung, thank you,” and her voice truly sounded relieved.

“No problem,” Sunggyu replied with a broad smile, happy to finally convince her. “I’ll pick you up when your auction wraps up.”

“Alright, I’ll see you then!”

Howon scrambled for his phone after Sunggyu disappeared around the corner. He dialed in the number and began talking as soon as he heard the other pick up, “Dongwoo, I was just talking to Sunggyu and…”

“Sunggyu?” Dongwoo cut him off. He proceeded to not give Howon a chance to speak as words tumbled out of his mouth: “Ah! Don’t tell him that Woohyun is coming! Woohyun called me to tell me he’s coming, finally!”

“Wait, he did?” Howon was confused. Normally when Woohyun said he’d ‘think about it,’ it meant ‘no,’ but he was actually thinking about it? That wasn’t like him (not like Woohyun was being much like himself these days anyway).

“Yea!” Dongwoo cheered as if it had been his greatest accomplishment. “I don’t know what happened to change his mind, but he did! And Sunggyu is coming, right?”

Right, Howon remembered why he called Dongwoo in a panic now. “Yes, he is, and he’s also bringing…”

And he was interrupted yet again. “Good!” That exclamation was followed by a somehow louder sigh. “They’re finally going to meet and talk and be forced to be civil because it’s your birthday! It’s a good plan!” Dongwoo repeated what he’d been saying all week. ‘This is a good plan.’ ‘It’s going to work.’ ‘It’s going to be the best birthday present ever.’ Along with other lies. “I’m so tired of them avoiding each other, aren’t you? They used to be such good friends. We all were.”

Well that was one absolute truth. Howon was tired of all of this, dead tired. And it wanted it resolved once and for all. “Right, I’m tired of all of this too. I’ll see you tonight,” he said and then hung up the phone.

After months of avoiding each other, Sunggyu, Maeri, and Woohyun were finally going to meet. And the only person who was aware of that fact was Lee Howon.