I love you, please always remember that and I’m happy that I saw your face before I even die, my bunny…

Sungmin rose up from his bed, his eyes glazed with tears that are now rolling down his cheeks. He sobbed and sniffed as he buried his face on his palms. Those dreams again, it kept on flashing back on his mind. All of those memories that happened on that sad day keeps on haunting him, all the tears that has been shredded, the sorrow, the sadness,  and the pain.

He harshly wiped away the tears and reached for the picture frame on his bedside table. His eyes watered again as he stare at the two guys in a cuddling position, smiling brightly at each other. It has been four years and Sungmin really misses him badly. If only I was there beside all those time, if only I didn’t got hurt and became insensitive towards what he felt, if only he ask me to stay and be his strength…

Sungmin’s eyes darted towards the door when it creaked open revealing Leeteuk, his hyung older than him by 2 years. They are living together in an apartment with two more guys, Donghae and Ryeowook.

“Sungmin-ssi…” Leeteuk walked towards Sungmin and sat at the bunk of the younger guy’s bed. “Sungmin-ssi don’t cry anymore, HE won’t be happy if he sees you crying again”

“H-hyung… H-hyung…” Sungmin cried hard as he buried his face on the older guy’s shoulders. “I can’t help it… I loved him very much… why did it have to happen to him? He was so young…”

“I know, I know you love him very much and he does too…” Leeteuk whispered softly to Sungmin as he rubbed the other’s back for comfort. “Remember that God has many plans for us, he has plans for him and he has plans for you…”

“Sometimes I wished I could save him, I wished that I can make him feel better… If only I found the answer to help myself understand about his sickness… I wanted him to know that if he fell down I’m always there for him and that if he lose faith I’ll always give him the strength to pull through… If he only told me he won’t give up, I would have waited for him to fall so that I could pick him up and give him the strength that he needed… I wouldn’t have gave up, I would’ve stayed by his side all of those times he suffered and needed me…” Sungmin burst out feeling guilty and hurt. He glanced at the picture.

“The memories just kept on coming back again… before I don’t even care if I’m the king of the world, as long as I can took care of that guy. I still remember how I love the way he moved and the sparkle in his eyes like there’s a feeling in his eyes that makes me happy. The way he wraps his arms around me, the way he looks at me lovingly, the way he says my name, that time I don’t even need to be superman as long as he’s my biggest fan. But now that the lights along with his love are out, the memories just keep rushing back like I have no more place left to go and I don’t know what to do…” A tear fell from Sungmin’s eye.

Leeteuk hugged the crying guy tightly. “He won’t be happy, Sungmin-ssi… He won’t be happy if he would always see you cry like that, Your smile is the only thing that him gave the strength and happiness in his life when he was still alive. We are always here for you, like what you said before, We are here to catch you when you fall, we are here to pick you up when you’re down, We are here for you, your friends will always be by your side.” The older guy’s tears escaped his eyes unconsciously. “We would always stay by your side Sungmin-ssi…”

“Thank you, hyung… Thank you for staying by my side, you, Donghae, and Ryeowook. The three of you stayed by me all of these years I’ve been suffering and hurting. Because of all of you I got to stand up, to be always  brave and strong… because of you I learned to be much stronger…”

“We are always glad to help you, Hyung!” Ryeowook said as he and Donghae slipped into Sungmin’s room, both of them are glazed by their tears too. They both walked towards Sungmin and hugged the guy tightly too.

“Thank you…” Sungmin bursts into tears again as his three friends hugged him. “I-I don’t k-know what I’d do if you’re not here… the three o-of y-you helped me A LOT..”

“Hyung will be disappointed of us if we’d leave you, Sungmin-ssi.” Ryeowook said. “He loves you and he wants us to protect and look after you.”

“He even said that to us… before… b-before he d-died…” Donghae buried his face on Min’s back as tears slowly rolled down his cheeks. “He’s also sorry… sorry that he’s causing you so much p-pain…”

“I-I k-know H-hae… I k-know…”  Sungmin said.

“Love again…”

Sungmin’s head shot up after he heard what Leeteuk said.

“W-what?”

“Love again, Min”

“I-I don’t know if I can, hyung… I don’t know…”

“It’s the only way for you to move on… the only way.”

“I’ll try, hyung… I’ll try to.."

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