~ Jiyong ~

I still remembered the very first day I felt for Nayeon.

It was when we were having a fairly good friendship. Even I myself sometimes surprised at how we quickly became such close friends. I mean, I never imagined myself would befriend with any woman. To me, if girls were not for ual desires, then it’s just pure business. I got to know many businesswomen, and they were just, well, boring. Or maybe it was because I never really had any inappropriate thoughts about them, since I was known as very strictly and deadly serious in works.

But with Nayeon, even the way I first met her was special and not like any other girl.

That day, I intended to surprised Eun Seo. It was true that I neglected her for a few weeks due to my busy schedule with the hotel, and I truly felt guilty for being a bad boyfriend. So, that noon, I told my secretary to look for her whereabouts and intended to appear at her place, to have a lunch with her.

I even booked the place. A romantic table at a luxury restaurant.

When my secretary told me that Eun Seo actually was at my hotel, I was surprised. I even grinned, thought she might come to see me. I was even stupider, having some wild and delusional dirty thoughts, when I was informed further that she actually used one of our rooms. I thought she was preparing something special for me, for us, for our longing reunion.

But it was Seungri - my most trustworthy man in business, also my most endearing dongsaeng in life, I truly considered him as my brothers, just like my other 3 close friends, even though I didn’t have a male sibling - who was the one to pull me out of the silly imagination.

“Hyung, you can bully me all you want later, just hear me out this time ok?” He said in the most serious expression I ever saw on his face. “I saw Eun Seo entered a room with some guy just now.”

I remembered not saying a word after that revelation, just walked out of the room, heading for something, I didn’t know. And, like many times, Seungri always knew what I needed. “Room 1808”. I heard he shouted behind my back. “I’ll wait for you at the club tonight.”

Despite everything, I smiled. He’s the sweetest kid in the world, I swore.

I walked slowly to that destination, room 1808. Suddenly many memories swam in my head, from the day I first met Eun Seo, to how she made me smile, our first kiss, first date, the first time we made love, how we fell in love. Did all that change now? I even planned on being forever with her, but now only after 3 years, she already changed?

I looked up when I knew my destination was near, and I saw her. Nayeon.

She looked hesitant, unsure, confused, hurt and… betrayed. Even it was just a side profile, I could see through all that because that was exactly how I felt at that moment. I didn’t know why, but I just knew right away  that, what I was dreading most was true, and that girl was just like me, being the victims of those lovers behind that door, those who supposed to be our lovers. I saw the way she reached out to press to bell, but retreated it back as if hesitating, then reached out, and it was just like that for 5 minutes. No one wanna face the brutal truth.

But I did. The sooner, the better, for everyone.

That was why I decided to knock the door , to save both me.

When I met Nayeon again in Japan, it was pure coincidence, and I must admit it was a pleasure too. I was just having a good time by myself with my old friend - Saturo, and I met her again. I didn’t know why, but seeing her always put me at ease. It was like, I was assured that, out there, there was someone like me, trying to have a normal life again after a drastic heartbreak.

I wasn’t quite sure why I was eager to give Ken - the best Japanese chef at Grand Hyatt - for Nayeon. Maybe I  wanna help her somehow, since she seemed to have a hard time with her upcoming business. Or maybe it was just a…..console, to tell her that, eventually, everything would be alright.

I guessed our real friendship started since I became her most regular customer. It always amused me at how she refused to take my money despite I insisted. Eventually, I gave up, let her do that “the least I can do to repay for your kindness” thing, as her words. I visited Heaven at least 3 times per week. It was on the way from my apartment to office anyway, and I must admit Nayeon knew what she was doing, since the restaurant was damn good. The food, the waiters, the interior, everything. I had meals there often also because, Nayeon was always there whenever I dropped by alone to have a meal, to chat and talk with me. I disliked business lunch/dinner and limited them as much as I could, and it wasn’t like I could always hang out with my closet friends. If all 5 of us appeared together too often, it would cause unwanted attention and troubles for Nayeon’s restaurant. We had that once, ok, several times already.

It’s not like you could see BIGBANG together that often. Yes, I was aware of our fame, even the name “BIGBANG” they gave us, and to be honest, I enjoyed that name, a bit too much. A hotel owner, a movie star, a superstar, an heir, and a millionaire, it was like, we ruled the world in every aspect.

What I liked most about Nayeon was, she never acted like a girl around me, like, how a girl should act in the presence of a guy. She was always like a friend to me, very comfortable to be around. Maybe that was why I grabbed her for a cover when one of my one night stand clung to much to me. I had needs, a quite strong one, and since Eun Seo, I didn’t think I should commit to any relationship and being faithful, so I ed around, and Nayeon knew that. And she just...rolled her eyes at me whenever she saw me “picking” a new girl to have fun with for the night, mostly at the club we usually hung out.

I guessed she never saw me as a guy, or a man, just a friend.

Actually I thought she considered no one as a man, since her boyfriend cheated on her. She either saw them as friends, or strangers.

“Don’t you have any feeling for Nayeon?” Youngbae, my best man, asked me that question when we were having lunch together at Nayeon’s restaurant.

I frowned. “What do you mean?” I laughed, drinking my juice. “I don’t see her that way, and she doesn’t either.”

“If you’re that sure.” My best friend just shrugged, and we both saw how Nayeon walked around the restaurant, she stopped momentarily when she noticed us, smiling briefly.

I think that was the very first moment I had this strange feeling which no way could be defined as friendship to Nayeon, when I saw how she smiled warmly and sweetly to us.

But the actual time I fell for Nayeon was on that morning.

I was having a day the day before. It was really just….full of s. First me and Seungri had to work our off to bargain this deal with some jerks from oversea who thought he owned the hotel world - well maybe he did in the US, but I was the King in Korea. Then later, Grand Hyatt’s experienced managers could not deal with this nasty customer, that old man even found a way to bang into my office and having a tantrum about how disobeyed and rude the staffs were to his simple demand - which was kinda stupid. He wanna kick all the customers in level 4 - the restaurant - to have some special event for his “little dove”, but he didn’t book the place in advance, also, refused to pay money for that “special event”, since “what kind of hotel refused to a customer’s request?” Hello, I was doing a business here, remembered? Then, the problem with that old man lengthened to the evening and early night, when his wife found out about his “little dove” and decide to have a big meeting between the three, she-her husband and his little dove, with full of yells shouts and screams and wails and whines about “all men are such unfaithful jerks”. I was ready to kick anyone preventing me from going home that night, when our securities alerted me that a customer reported a thief who stole her bag and was hiding inside the hotel. It took us nearly a whole night before that thief was found hiding in the main kitchen. In sum, it was my crapest day.

And for some reason, when it was nearly 5am, when I finally could go back to rest, I didn’t drive back to my apartment. I went to Nayeon’s instead.

Maybe it was because where she stayed had the best surrounding in the city. Ok that was an excuse, since mine was as equally good, with all those parks and trees and all. But I always preferred this building over mine, I didn’t know why. I often drove Nayeon to home whenever I could, when I was not busy with works, and, well, not having some random girl for a wild night. It was like my little treat for Nayeon’s free meals, and she always accepted the offer gladly, complaining how much she hated driving after a long day at the restaurant.

I stopped the engine and lowered my seat, to lean back and rest. I didn’t know what I was waiting for. I was just…..

It rained suddenly. Hard. Heavily. A typical rain of a summer day. I listened to the raining sound, and it started to calm me, to soothe me.

After about 20 minutes, the rain stopped, and I woke up from my nap too. The sky was not dark anymore, but brightly shined. I bet the air smelled heavenly….

I was about to go back my apartment for real, then I saw her. She walked out of the building in a medium short and a hoodie, definitely an outfit for some morning run. She already had earphones plugged in ears, and as the way I saw, she was enjoying some favorite song. Then she stopped, realized the rain and frowned. I saw how she looked up to the sky, and suddenly, she smiled. Not long after that, she closed her eyes, as if she...breathed in the morning scent, or the rainy smell, or whatever.

Eyes closing, lips smiling, and then she stretched her arms wide open.

It looked so adorable, so lovely. So cute.

I widened my eyes. I was just so….speechless to what I was seeing. She looked like an angel in that moment.

But what came next was what really knocked me out completely.

I saw she pulled out her phone and started tapping rapidly. Smirking, she put it back and started her run.

5 seconds later, I saw my phone vibrating.

It couldn’t be….

From: Yeon Kim. “Wake up, lazyhead. The morning is wonderful. Seriously, what is morning when you start it at 11? Rise and shine~”

. Kim Na Yeon, did you know what did that little message did to my heart?

Since that morning, I started to look at her differently. I looked at her like how I would look at a girl, not just a friend. I wasn’t sure yet, but I thought, being in a relationship with Nayeon would be great.

But I was not ready for a relationship, and I knew Nayeon was not, too. So, I spent months just to observe her from afar as a man, and to a close distance as a friend. I also had to kick quite a number of “competitors”, since they just kept appearing whenever we hung out in clubs. I could not blame them, Nayeon was a beauty for sure. I had to calculate my chance. I knew right now she had nothing more than a friend with me.

Then I came to a conclusion: to Kim Nayeon, with other men, the successful rate was 0%, but with me, Kwon Jiyong, it was 10%.

Since I was already her friend.

Not bad huh?

“Hey Yeon Kim.” I poked her, since she looked kinda lost tonight.

“What?” There was it, that unamused gaze boring into my eyes again. Had I ever told her how much I hated that gaze. It was so...passive and uninterested of how she showed. And she always had this gaze whenever a man approached her.

Her eyes, they always lured me to some mysterious place deep inside her soul, like they begged me to go through, to understand their owner. She was never afraid of holding intense gazes with me. It was not like she’s not embarrassed or something, it was more like she didn’t mind being opened with me, without explaining a word though. It was like a challenge, “try to read me, will you?”.

“What?” I heard her slightly annoying tone, reminded me that I was asking for her attention earlier.

This was it, now or never. Let’s try to understand Kim Nayeon.

“You and I, let’s date?” I whispered, using the tone I knew any woman would melt for.

After a few seconds of silence, when she finally removed her intense gaze off my face and turned to look at somewhere else, anywhere but my face, I heard her flat respond.

“No.”

Ouch, 10% was still nothing then.

This looked tough, Kwon Jiyong.