It has been five days since Jiyong stays in my house. Of course, I feel happy and worry. I am worried if people find out that we are living together. But happy at the same time when I have someone to eat with, to laugh with, to speak with and oddly, I don’t feel lifeless like before. I feel happy, content, and blissful at the same time.

I just come back from my university when I see him sleeping on the sofa, wearing only my monkey-printed short pants. I smile seeing his innocent sleeping face. Taking off my hoodies, I cover his body with it. I caress his white-bleached hair before turning myself around to have my shower. At that very moment, I feel like my right hand is grabbed hold firmly. Warmth spreads all over my body. I turn back and see Jiyong is holding my hand with his sleepy eyes looking at me.

‘are you back?’ he says with husky, sleepy voice. I sit on the floor, in front of his face. I smile at him before giving my sweetest smile to him.

‘I miss you…..’ he takes my hand to his chest. I try to take it back but he is stronger than me.

‘I miss you…..’ again, he says that sentence. It is his chant to me when I come back home from anywhere, either university, supermarket, shop or even when I go to take my letter at the basement.

Feeling tired, I try to pull back my hand from his warm chest before he threatens me.

‘don’t pull it back or I will do worst to you.’ He looks at me with serious eyes and tone.

‘I’m tired’ I beg him,once again trying to get loose from him.

Suddenly, he wakes up and lifts me. I am too shocked to do or say anything. I look at him in disbelief until I realised he has put me down back on my bed. Then, he lays down his body beside me and hugs me tight. His hands are hugging my body and his legs are locking mine from moving.

I struggle and struggle till I find myself tired.

‘Tired?’ he says to me with a sarcasm smile. I give him a fierce glance.

‘I told you to let me hold your hand. You make the decision, baby.’

‘No, I don’t!’ I try to hit his chest when I realise he hugs me so tight what I am unable to move an inch.

Suddenly, he puts his head on my head and I feel he is kissing my hair.

‘Let’s sleep for a while….okay?’ he persuades me while my hair with care.

And without I realise when, I fall asleep with him that afternoon. I admit, I have the best moment with him at that time.

************

It feels so warm, so comfortable. There’s something move on my back. Wait… it’s not moving…. It caresses my back. Suddenly I remember what is going on right now. Jiyong… I sleep with Jiyong.. I can’t believe it!

I open my eyes, slowly, and a bare neck skin comes in my blurry view.

‘hi baby…’ a husky, soft and deep voice enters my hearing.

I lift my eyes to see the voice’s owner and I see him smiling so sweet to me. Can’t help it myself, I throw him a smile too. His hand stops my back but it starts to wipe hairs away from my face.

‘do you feel fresh now?’ he asks me.

‘hurmmm….’ I answer slowly, ‘ not yet.. still sleepy..and tired…..’ I know there’s a sadness embedded in my voice. I just remember the news that I just receive from my dean this morning. It breaks my heart and I really don’t wanna talk about it with Jiyong. I really don’t know how to tell him about it for I am sure Jiyong will feel guilty to keep staying but selfishly, I don’t wanna be apart with him. It is hard to believe myself, but I feel super comfortable and happy since he lives here with me. The thought of letting him away makes me sad. I don’t wanna him leave….

The tears begin to wet my eyes which make me bring my head closer to his bare chest. The warmth makes me even more sorrowful. I don’t wanna him to go…

‘Hey… are you okay?’ he asks me, my head.

‘Hey… answer me. Is everything alright?’ he tries to lift my face but I stick to him tightly.

‘everything’s fine,’ I answer him with a hoarse voice. Seriously, I really want to cry right now.

‘What’d happened? Tell me? Please… don’t do this to me…’ he persuades me with a soft and slow tone.

This makes me sadder. Unable to control myself, I begin to shed tears on his chest. He seems surprised for a moment before hugging me tenderly. Sometimes, I feel he kisses lightly on my top of head and my back softly. After some time being in that situation, I stop my weep and regain my conscious again.

‘Jiyong…..’ I call his name and look into his eyes.

‘yes….’ His voice sounds so nice to me.

‘Jiyong…. Ji…..’ I starts to tear again…

He wipes my tear and says, ‘hey… tell me what’s happened? I know something’s wrong… you would never sleep in the afternoon. Is there something bothering you? Tell me….’ He sounds like he cares so much about me. I feel overwhelmed. It takes me time before I open my mouth again.

‘I just got news…..’ I pause. ‘I need to do a research about spoken English in Busan…’

‘so? What makes you so sad? I bet you would love it with all your heart…’ he says.

‘I need to go there,Jiyongie…’ I refrain myself a little from him, seeking his round eyes.

‘oh……’ he pauses for a moment. ‘so…I need to go… back? Is that it?’ The way he asks me makes me feel like I am the one who wanna get rid of him.

‘no….’ I say to him, searching for his hand to hold. Then, I bring it to my cheek. I close my eyes to restraint myself from crying again. It feels like tons of rock has crushed my heart.

‘I don’t want you to leave……I don’t want you to go….’ I tell him.

He looks at me in disbelief. He fells in silence for minutes before saying, ‘but you need to do your research…’

Hearing his voice makes me broke down once again. I cry and cry on his hand. I could not believe he says that. I thought he wants me to stay.

‘hey… baby… listen to me…’ I ignore him..

‘hey…. Look at me.’ He lift my face to face him.

‘listen… I’m not going to ask you to stay. It is your dream to be an expertise in this field. You told me how much you love this thing. Then, how do you expect me to disallow you from doing things that you love the most…’

‘but I love you more.’ I cut his conversation.

He laughs. ‘what did you just say?’ he smiles to me.

‘I love you more.’ I repeat.

‘what?’ he asks again.

‘I love you. I love you. I love you. I love you. I lo…..’

Before I could finish my word, he kisses me on my lips which make me speechless and surprise.

‘I love you too…’ he says it right after his lips freeing mine. Then, he brings me closer to his body and hugs me tightly.

I feel like slapping his head. Jiyong! I have a serious problem but you are not helping me!!!

I push his body from mine and look him into the eyes again.

‘Mr. Kwon Jiyong, I am in serious trouble.. How come you just relax?’ I ask him, unsatisfied with his action.

‘Miss, can we enjoy the moment before complicating ourselves with this problem later?’ he hits me slowly in my shoulder.

‘Now, would you excuse me? I wanna hug you and enjoy this moment. You better don’t disturb me this time or I will do something more than this.’ He threats me and hugs me closer again. I just let him be…

‘Jiyongg…. I’m worried.’ I speak my mind. My heart is not at peace.

‘shhhhh…’ he kisses me on my head and tells me, ‘I love you.’

I fell in silence before hugging him back.