Soah’s day promised to be a very good day. She didn’t have to work, so she could stay in bed and be lazy until noon if she wanted. Then, she could stay in her pajamas and binge watch a good drama with popcorn. She could even break into the secret licorice stash. Maybe just take a few… or a lot? There was a reason Soah kept them outside her kitchen, outside her reach, counting on her laziness to be enough of a deterrent to keep her form eating it all. Tiffany had once said she had a problem.

That was Soah’s delicious plan as she closed her eyes and drifted to sleep the night before. But as with most of her plans, they were quickly shattered by her entourage. At eight in the morning, Soah’s phone started ringing. The redhead used the good old technique of the ostrich: ignoring the problem until it goes away. After a few minutes, the device went silent and Soah thought she had succeeded. Just as she was about to fall back asleep, the phone started ringing again. Groaning, Soah reached for the phone and answered.

“Hello?” she asked sleepily.

“Soah? It’s me, Yuri! I hope I’m not waking you up.”

Soah rolled her eyes. “Of course not... What is it?”

“Oh, only the most exciting news ever!” Yuri started explaining. “We sent most of the invites for the wedding and everyone is gonna be there. Even our cousin Suzy said she would be there with her new fiancé and you know how busy she is…”

“Uh…” Soah disliked Suzy for all the obvious reasons. Her cousin was beautiful, poised and elegant, she was smart and kind enough and had a profitable career as an actress. She was Korea’s Sweetheart, the Nation’s First Love, the Ultimate Triple Threat, et cetera… People never had enough of her. It wasn’t enough that all the movies and dramas she was in were hits, she also was a great MC and fashion model for famous brand and she was still so young too. In every family there was this highly successful person and in their family it was Suzy. Compared to her, Soah really felt like a bug.

Yuri kept babbling, unaware that her younger sister was annoyed with the new. “Did you know that Suzy’s fiancé was also a known actor? She’s such a lucky girl!”

“Sis, you are gonna get married to Minho, you can’t start ogling other people’s boyfriends.”

“Speaking of which,” the older sister said before promptly changing the subject. “You know I don’t like to wear white, right?”

Soah passively agreed and Yuri continued. “Well, Minho and I decided that it would be quite awesome to do a little bit differently. We are going to wear black and red and all the guest must be the ones to wear white. Don’t you think we’ll stand out much more and it’ll be a much more suitable color on us?”

Soah’s eyes widened. “Woah! That’s quite a decision. You are lucky mom won’t be there or she would have had an attack!”

On the phone, she heard her sister sigh deeply. “I’m sure mom would have been happy for me.”

“She would have been really proud of you.”

There was a silence as both sisters had a thought for the late Han Yoojoo, their mother.

“Anyway, I trust you’ll be there, dressed accordingly?”

“Sure, Yuri, whatever you want…”

“Don’t be so nonchalant about it, Soah.” Yuri was scolding her. “I want you to be in all the pictures and by my side for the ceremony.”

“It is your day after all.” Soah’s tone made Yuri sigh one more but she didn’t pursue the matter.

“I was actually calling to know if your boyfriend would be there.”

This time Soah almost choked on her own saliva. “My what?”

“Your boyfriend, the one we saw at the restaurant with you. We could sit you at the same table as us and Suzy, it would be so fun to be in pairs. I sat Daddy and his wife at another table, but maybe we could include Han. I do hope he will be able to make it.”

Soah’s brain was running at full capacity, ignoring everything her sister was saying and staying stuck at the first sentence. The restaurant… She had totally forgotten to clear the misunderstanding about Kris and now Yuri was so overjoyed with plans and ideas. And Suzy was gonna be there. The younger Kwon was actually terrified at the idea people from her family would look at her and her accomplishment and be disappointed. Going alone would just be admitting her failure. But if she went with a date… Besides, now that she was thinking about it, Soah had dated most of Minho’s friends and for sure they would be there. How utterly embarrassing that would be. There was no way she would go there unaccompanied. Over her dead body!

“Yeah, he’ll be there.” She answered.

And truth enough Yuri was delighted. The sisters kept talking a while, catching up, and then Yuri left, having other people to call to make sure her wedding was on the right track. Soah considered going back to sleep, but instead, she got up and went through her closet looking for all the white clothes.

She pulled at random hangers and three them on her bed making a pile of white clothes. She had white blouses, white shirts, white sundresses, but nothing chic enough for a wedding. With a sigh, she took her purse and went digging for her wallet. Looking inside, she counted in her head how much money she had. She knew for a fact there were still some of her old dresses at her father house that would do quite nicely, maybe she had time to go get them… But if she was to go home, she needed to do something first.

Quickly dressing up in very casual clothing, Soah grabbed her purse and her keys and went out the door. So much for a lazy day in bed…

She came back home half an hour later with a little package and went straight into the bathroom. It took almost two hours, but when she exited, her hair was damp, clean and brown. Gone was her bright orange hair. If she was to go home, Soah knew it had to be in the same state she left, all those years ago. All that for a dress. All that for Yuri.

When a bright yellow Porsche pulled in front of the Kwon Mansion, Secretary Kim, Kwon Sungho right-hand man, walked up to the strange car with a raised brow. He knew that car and whom it belonged to, but there was no way young lady Soah would be there. He adjusted his glasses on his nose and squinted. When the car door opened and revealed a familiar young woman, Secretary Kim’s eyes went wide and he smiled.

“Miss Soah! Is it really you?”

Soah closed the car door behind her. It had been so long since she last used it. It had been gathering dust in her parking space at her apartment and she hadn’t told anyone, covering the car with a thick leather car tent to keep it hidden. She didn’t really like to use the car, but no bus was going from her apartment to her house.

“Mr. Kim, so good to see you! Yes, I had something to get from this place.”

Soah walked up to the older man. He hadn’t changed much since the last time she was there. His hair was streaked with white a bit more frequently than 3 years ago, but he was still recognizable. Looking around, she remembered everything. The familiar driveway that lead up the hill, the pale walls made of shiny stone, the two tall bushes on each side of the door and the short stairs leading to it. He breath quickened and she stopped in her tracks. She was not feeling well. There was this pressure on her chest, making it harder to breathe. She forced herself to stay calm and appear in control.

“Is my father here?” she asked slowly.

Secretary Kim nodded silently. He, of course, had been there when Soah had left three years ago to never return. He had been there for Mr. Kwon when after a year of her absence without any new or update, he had learned his daughter wanted nothing to do with him anymore. He had seen Miss Soah grow up and he knew her from the time she was a little girl, wearing frilly dresses and pinning for the boy that lived next door. He had seen her grow depressed every day until she finally had enough and left. He had seen everything, both sides and he was finding it very difficult to even say anything.

“Is he going to be really angry?” Soah asked with a sad smile.

“I don’t know Miss. He is your father. He cares about you a lot.”

“Still, you knew him better than I ever did, Mr. Kim. I never could predict the way he would react. But you, it’s like you can see everything.”

Secretary Kim bowed but a grateful half smile and went to open the door for her. Soah took a deep breath and went inside the house she grew in. It had changed a lot but to Soah it still had the same smell and the same feeling. It was grandiose, it was old and it was home. Lu Zhang Li, her father’s new wife had done a terrific job at redecorating the old building. It now more than ever inspired beauty and class but also warmth.

To be perfectly honest, Soah didn’t know what to expect coming here. It seemed surreal that after so long she had found her way back. The house might have been home, but it was also scary and unknown in a way. Walking inside the main hall, she could see her sister and herself running in the rooms and having fun jumping off the stairs of the main staircase. That was so long ago. And in a way it felt so close but so far away.

Maybe she could just pop in, get her clothes and then leave and pretend as if she was never there. But then she’d still have to see her family in two weeks at Yuri’s wedding. What would they think of her if they knew she had been there and hadn’t talked to them? Surely they would be upset. Surely they would wonder if she even cared about them at all…

She didn’t have time to ponder her options any longer because she heard footsteps coming from the second floor. That was when she noticed Secretary Kim had walked away during her daze. But these footsteps weren’t his. They were light and gracious and Soah knew who it was before the figured appeared by the staircase. Zhang Li. The woman stopped when she saw Soah and her lips parted. She was truly surprised. For a second Soah feared that she would be angry at her and yell or just turn away and pretend she didn’t exist. Instead, the woman’s beautiful brown eyes filled with tears and she ran downstairs to embrace Soah in a tight hug.

“Soah! We’ve missed you so much!”

Soah’s own eyes started to water at the display of emotions, but she forced herself to remain calm. She held on to her stepmother’s small frame lightly, as if afraid that with too much force the frail woman would snap in two.

“Welcome home, Darling,” Zhang Li stated when she pulled away, drying her tears. “Is there anything you want? Tea? A bath? A home cooked meal? I bet it’s been a while… I must have something in the fridge to offer you.”

“Oh, no! I’m fine. Don’t worry about me.” Soah tried to reassure her. “I came in fact to get a gown that was mine for Yuri’s wedding. The white one with the gold bodice…”

“Oh yes, that one is really pretty. I kept all your clothes in your room. It is exactly the way you left it.”

Soah’s façade dropped. She was touched. Zhang Li wasn’t upset. She hadn’t even asked why she was back or what she had done during the last years, she was just happy Soah was back. To the young woman, that meant a lot. Pulling her stepmother in her arms again, Soah smiled and held her tightly this time. Zhang Li smiled too and both stayed like this for a minute, happy to be reunited.

They were interrupted when Secretary Kim came back and announced that Kwon Sungho wanted to see his daughter. Zhang Li blinked, unsure that it was a good idea to let Soah go alone or go at al, for that matter. However, Soah smiled at her with confidence and told her it would be okay.

“Okay, then let me go get your dress for you.”

Soah thanked her and walked with Secretary Kim to her father’s study. His office faced Zhang Li’s office. While the woman was extremely sweet and beautiful, she was also a fierce lawyer who could hold her own in court. Sungho, though, was a businessman. He had inherited the company from his parents and their money came from long ago. The house itself wasn’t old, Soah’s parents had built it when Soah was about 9 and they had moved in two years later. It had been a big deal for her, then. She didn’t want to change house and change city, losing all her friends. But once they had settled here, she had met Minho and everything had started becoming better. And now Soah was in front of the door to her father’s office, unsure whether to knock or not. That was also a big deal.

She knocked and opened the door without waiting for an answer. Her heartbeat was so loud she was certain everyone in the house could heart it and she felt a bit sick. If she had prolonged the wait, she would have either thrown up or fainted. Neither were something she wanted.

Sitting behind his desk was Sungho. His face was serious and business-like until his eyes raised from his paper to meet hers. They locked gaze for a little bit, both unsure what to say and how to say it.

He started. “You’ve grown.”

Soah nodded, not even certain why. She just felt like she wanted him to see her.

“What have you been up to?”

Ah… Zhang Li hadn’t asked out of respect but he would. He wasn’t scared of his daughter.

“I’ve been working at a grocery store,” Soah stated. “I’ve made friends.”

Sungho nodded too. “I see.”

“I came to get a dress for Yuri’s wedding. Are you going to be there?”

“Yes, Zhang Li, Han and I will be there. Have you talked to them?”

It was Soah’s turn to nod again. She was staring at the floor and she knew he was probably looking at her, but he wasn’t saying anything. The silence became thick and seemed to stretch on forever. Soah took a step back.

“Well, then, I’ll see you there.” She placed her hand on the door, ready to exit but an unknown will forced her to turn away and look at her father for one last time.

That’s when she saw him. She really saw him for what he was. His face looked pulled down, his skin was greyer, his eyes looked more glassy and smaller. He was not exactly the way she remembered him. For the first time she noticed he was only a man. He wasn’t this great figure she had always looked up to and never really got to know. He wasn’t a god, despite what magazines said about his business strategy. He was just a man standing in front of the daughter he had lost and missed for three years.

“I’m glad you are okay,” Sungho told her.

This time she couldn’t even nod. Hey eyes filled with water and the corners of dropped as she quickly opened the door and went back into the corridor. She walked back to the main hall, still trying to keep her emotions in check. Zhang Li gave her the dress and Soah had to excuse herself, promising her stepmother she would be back. She exited the house and placed the dress on the passenger seat. Taking place behind the wheel, she waved at Secretary Kim and slowly drove away. When she couldn’t see her house in the rearview mirror anymore, she pulled into a random parking and stopped the car. She exhaled and lost control on her emotions. They came rushing like a mad river and Soah burst into tears. All of these years she had accumulated so much pain, so much loneliness, so much guilt… She had missed her family so much. She had wanted to come home so many times in the past, wondering if she had made the right choice, wondering if maybe it didn’t matter what she was, as long as she had a place home. She was so weak, but she was trying to be strong. She was trying really hard not to let story narrate the rest of her life, but in a way it did. She couldn’t escape her past. She just had to live with it. She cried and cried until her heart and her eyes started hurting, until she felt like a burden had been lifted up from her. Then, she gave herself a weak smile in the mirror and started to drive home.