An Inconvenient Flashback
Where I Belong
“It must have been very frightening for you all, being unable to reach Hyunseung-ssi in time.”
Three days after Junhyung and Hyunseung had unintentionally surprised everyone with their behavior, the group was guesting on yet another variety show. As was becoming the norm, Junhyung had taken up a spot beside the dancer, with Yoseob on the other side. Hyunseung looked at Leeteuk while s seemed to all murmur in agreement at once, save for Junhyung. It took them a moment to let just one speak at a time.
“Seobie had yelled for him to move, but he didn’t so much as twitch,” Kikwang said with a small pout that had Dongwoon slipping a friendly arm around his shoulders. “He must have been terrified.”
“Have you all talked about it since it happened?”
“Well, not all of us together,” Doojoon hedged, motioning toward each of the members in turn as he spoke. “Seungie has spoken to each of us at some point or another, but I think because Junhyung was the only one who could save him, they talk about it easier.”
Yoseob nodded loyally. “They talk a lot when we get home at night now.”
Leeteuk frowned. “Did they not talk before the incident?”
“Oh they talked!” Dongwoon inserted quickly, and his eagerness to answer earned a chuckle from the audience. “They just talk.. more?”
“Thanks, Woonie..” Junhyung muttered as the maknae fell into silence. This time it was Kikwang’s turn to put an arm around his shoulders.
“What went through your head when you saw it starting to fall, Hyunseung-ssi? That had to be scary,” said Kang Ho dong. It had been a relief to have him as one of the hosts, since he always knew how far to push in a conversation and when to insert humor. He also knew when the conversation needed to be tactfully pushed along if things started to get awkward.
Frowning thoughtfully, Hyunseung pushed his bangs out of his eyes and looked toward the ceiling. “Oh… Well, it was very scary. I think the worst part was not being able to move. My fear seemed to just… immobilize me.” As he spoke, he scratched at his jaw and turned his gaze onto the show hosts. “When it started to fall, my mind went blank and it felt like my entire body was drained of energy. I looked at it and just… felt it was going to hit me.”
Hyunseung’s voice trailed off into nothing as he reached the end of his statement, eyes drifting to look at nothing in particular. The truth was, while he’d mentioned the incident and spoken briefly to s about it, he hadn’t gone through it play by play or talked about how scared he’d been. Talking about it now seemed to bring the memory roaring back, putting it in blinding focus as if it were happening right in front of him.
“Hyunseung, move!”
“Seungie!”
“Hyung!”
Hyunseung flinched as he heard the thud of Junhyung’s body hitting his and could have sworn he felt the impact of it again. Even the crash of the light fixture seemed so real, so loud that his ears hurt.
“Hyunseung-ssi?”
Leeteuk’s concern was lost on the dancer as he sat still as stone in his seat, suddenly tense and pale. His slanted eyes were wide and wild with a fear of something only he could see. Beside him, Yoseob’s expression went from puzzlement to alarm, and Doojoon rose from his seat to step behind them both.
Junhyung was already on it; one arm curled protectively and, if the others didn’t know any better, possessively, around Hyunseung’s shoulders. The rapper squeezed and mumbled something in his ear, and when he got no response, let go.
Doojoon frowned, taking another step before he realized Junhyung’s efforts weren’t finished.
Turning in his own seat, Junhyung grabbed hold of Hyunseung’s seat and turned it, forcing the dancer to face him. His hands cupped either side of Hyunseung’s face firmly as he looked at him with a level gaze. “Hyunseung, look at me. Look at me!”
As Junhyung’s thumbs started to rub slow circles over delicate cheekbones, the wild look in Hyunseung’s eyes slowly started to fade. Oblivious to the transfixed stares of those around them, Junhyung smiled in relief, his voice soft and his tone low. “That’s it..”
Hyunseung was startled when he snapped out of it completely and realized the situation they were in, and would have moved if Junhyung’s grip on his cheeks hadn’t firmed and kept him still. His body was still tense and his features pale, breathing a little shallow and uneven, but he no longer saw the unpleasantness of the incident.
Junhyung kept their eyes locked as he let his hands drop and he straightened in his seat. “He’s fine,” He murmured to Doojoon as the leader hesitated behind their seats. “Just a scare.”
“Hyunseung-ssi, are you alright?” Kang Ho Dong sounded anxious as he directed the question to the still calming dancer.
Hyunseung stared at Junhyung a moment longer, but as the rapper smirked and gave an almost imperceptible nod, he his lips and turned to look at their hosts. Smiling apologetically, he rubbed the back of his neck, ignoring the reassuring pat Doojoon dropped on his shoulder as he returned to his own seat. “I’m okay.
“I’ve heard that after some life-or-death situations, it can be very easy to find yourself back in the middle of it. Something triggers the memory..?” Kang Ho Dong said doubtfully, obviously still concerned about the dancer and wanting to help reassure everyone by explaining what he clearly thought had just happened.
Hyunseung nodded and gave a weak nod. “I guess..”
“Thankfully it didn’t hit you,” Leeteuk said, seriously, and there was an instant buzz of agreeing murmurs from within the studio.
“Mm.. Thankfully. Junhyung was able to reach me in time and pushed me out of the way,” Hyunseung said quietly, all too aware as one of the rapper’s hands slipped onto his knee and squeezed. It was a touch that should have made him uncomfortable and only a week or two ago would have been shied away from. Now, however, he was reassured by it.
Junhyung was startled when he felt a small hand grip his own on Hyunseung’s knee, fingers lacing together and squeezing gently. So startled that he turned his gaze quickly onto the dancer beside him. Hyunseung had his gaze focused determinedly on their hosts. Blinking, he looked down at their joined hands and for the first time realized that the other boy was shaking. Something inside him snarled at the idea of Hyunseung being afraid, and he gripped his fingers more firmly, using his thumb to rub circles on the back of the other’s hand.
“You passed out, too, didn’t you?” Leeteuk asked.
Hyunseung nodded as he tried to focus on what he was saying rather than on the distracting little circles being traced on his hand. “Yes. The doctors said it was from the knock I took to my head when Junhyung tackled me.”
“Did you know it was Junhyung?”
“Yes,” the answer was soft but sure, and roused a surprised glance from the rapper. Hyunseung kept his voice as steady as he could. “At first I didn’t, but before I lost consciousness he turned his head and looked at me. I remember thinking ‘Ah.. Thank God, he saved me.’”
“Ah…” Kang Ho Dong paused, allowing everyone a moment to digest it all before apparently deciding it was high time to move on. “Well, we are all just glad that you are okay, Hyunseung-ssi.”
The conversation turned smoothly toward one of the other groups guesting on the show, leaving Hyunseung mercifully out of the spotlight. He sighed faintly in relief as the tension seeped out of his body and left him feeling strangely calm. Only belatedly did he realize his hand was still in Junhyung’s, and a stealthy glance sideways showed the rapper’s attention was on the ebb and flow of the current conversation.
Or, it had been. Junhyung must have felt eyes on him, because he squeezed Hyunseung’s fingers a couple of times. As Hyunseung turned his head a little more to properly look at him, the smirk he was coming to know all too well quirked one corner of Junhyung’s mouth upwards. He knew Hyunseung was looking at him and it amused him.
Unbeknownst to either of them, their linked hands had not escaped detection by the other guests, and Hyunseung’s fright would be a major entertainment headline by day’s end.
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