Woohyun was holding the crimson envelope in his hands. The envelope with the invitation to the wedding of his best friend, his beloved one.

“I should have ripped it once I got to see it”

His phone started to vibrate, “Sunggyu” displayed on the screen.

“Why does he even call me? He wants me to feel even worse.”

He grabbed his jacket, wore his scarf, took gloves. He sighed to his reflection in the mirror. He turned his head to his phone but as he saw it still was vibrating, he decided not to take it with him.

“HE.DOESN’T.LOVE.ME. HE.ISN’T.GAY. HE.FEELS.DISGUISTED.BECAUSE.OF.ME”

The mantra Woohyun was keep repeating to himself when he felt like crying and that was also this moment. Weirdly it made him calmer. Sometimes, when there was he was at work and the tears were almost streaming down his face he just called himself “gay” in thoughts and it stopped the coming waterfall. But when he was at home, bathing or already in bed he didn’t try to stop himself, he just cried as much as he needed to and usually it meant crying until he fell asleep.