g o o d b y e   s u m m e r

part one of ---

“Hey, Gen,” Amber says cheerfully through the phone. “Wanna help me write this song?”

Gen Neo groans, rolling over in his bed. He really should expect this from Amber by now, especially since Amber’s sleeping habits don’t match anyone’s, except maybe Henry’s. “What time is it?” he asks, completely ignoring her question. Amber laughs, knowing that it’s an unconventional time, but really, it isn’t her fault that she has insomnia. Plus, this song has been bugging her since forever. Gen Neo’s the only one she knows that can really help her.

“Maybe...three in the morning? Come on Gen, please?” she asks, even pouting a little, even though he can’t even see her right now. She hears his groan of complaint, then a thump, which was most likely Gen’s typical way of rolling off his bed in order to get up. For the most part, he’s at least a little more awake now, given that he’s forgotten that the room he’s occupying isn’t his own, and has hardwood floors, his shoulder starting to ache a little from the impact.

“Fine,” he mumbles, rubbing his eyes, and Amber grins victoriously. “Just, if I fall asleep, could you maybe not wake me up? There are normal times of day in which music can be written, you know.”

Amber just chuckles, scribbling a few lines down absently. “Mhm,” she hums. “Just come to the dorm. I’ll leave the door unlocked so you don’t wake anybody up.”

When Gen Neo stumbles inside, Amber has to stretch out a hand and hold him up. He has his phone in one hand and is rubbing his eyes with the other one, and he looks kind of like a massive teddy bear. She smiles, turning around to guide him towards the kitchen table, where she’s working with the lights dimmed, to keep from waking up the other members of f(x).

“I hate your insomnia,” he grumbles, taking a seat across from her. He fumbles a little with the sheets on the table, digging through the pile to search for the lyrics sheet that wasn’t yet crumbled. Amber’s laptop is glowing in the dimness, a few bars of music showing on the screen.

I remember when we were yelled at for talking in the halls,

I don’t know why it was so fun even when we were being punished

After that day we always stuck together like the Astro twins,

you were me and I was you.

[ boy ] You cried so much on the day before graduation,

[ girl ] You held it in firmly since you’re a guy,

Just like that hot summer when we couldn't say what we wanted, goodbye.

“That’s all I have so far,” Amber says softly, her cheeks a little pink for some unfathomable reason. “It’s meant to be a duet. I don’t have a tune...or anything, yet...”

Gen Neo hums, his fingers smearing the graphite slightly as he taps his fingers against the paper, trying to find a beat. Notes slowly form inside his head, and Amber watches as he concentrates.

“I remember when we were yelled at for talking in the halls,” he sings slowly. “I don’t know why it was so fun even when we were being punished.” He looks up, looking at her expectantly, and she hesitantly follows with the next few lines.

“After that day, we always stuck together, like the Astro twins, you were me and I was you...”

Amber’s voice is gentle, and quiet. She never sang much, but when she did, her voice sounded pure, flawless, even. It was soothing to listen to, and Gen Neo had missed it. He glances up, looking at her before looking down and reading the next few words, trying to tie together a melody.

“You cried so much on the day before graduation,” he sings, and she answers with the next line, both of them slowly creating a tune. They sing those few lines over and over, until they finally settle on a melody that they like the best.

As Amber begins messing with the laptop, trying to put that same melody into the computer, Gen Neo begins to scribble a few of the next lines. He knows what this song is about. Those few words that Amber had written were all embedded in his memory, the moments they had shared.

He glances up, taking in the concentration in Amber’s expression, the way she fiddles with the keys and controls. He looks back down at his own words on the paper, his handwriting messy in comparison to Amber’s.

the friendship label is a label that i grew to hate,

the feelings i’ve hidden still remain as a painful, secret memory

Gen Neo sighs, putting his head down on the table. Slowly, the pencil slips out of his grasp, and Amber turns to look at him, a wry smile pulling at her lips at the sight of his closed eyes. She notices the new lines written on the page and tugs it from underneath him, scanning her eyes over his lyrics before writing a few of her own.

the photos that can’t define our relationship is a heartbreaking story,

She looks up, staring at Gen Neo, then to the picture of Henry and her that was her computer background. She smiles wistfully. The past they once had, it was all over. It was gone now, something that could’ve been, and maybe she regrets never trying, but she’s happy where she is now. She’s happy with Henry. She could never love anyone more than she loves Henry, but...

i’m sorry, summer, now goodbye.

“Get up, sleepyface. I swear you sleep as much as Henry does,” Amber says, shaking her friend’s shoulders. He grunts a little, turning his head in a different direction, ignoring Amber’s attempts to wake him up. She insistently shakes him, though, and he reluctantly raises his head, blinking sleep out of his eyes.

“What time is it?” he asks, his voice hazy with sleep. She laughs.

“Is that always the first thing you ask? It’s seven in the morning, Sir Sleepsalot. The other girls have to get ready for their schedules soon, and I do too for that matter. So it’s probably a good idea for you to leave now.”

Gen Neo sighs. “I hate your schedules,” he complains, standing up. A few music sheets fall to the ground in the process; it looks like the mess doubled since he’d fallen asleep. He raises an eyebrow at Amber, who shrugs, grinning unashamedly at him while pushing him towards the door.

“I’ll email you what I have so far,” she says. “Including the audio file. Now get out.”

She mercilessly pushes him out the front door and he rolls his eyes when the door closes in his face. Typical Amber. His phone pings a few moments later with a photo of the latest update on her lyrics, along with a text telling him that she’d send him the audio file later.

He smiles a little as he walks away, remembering the music from last night. Even though he’d fallen asleep early...it was alright. He can’t help but feel that this song would express everything. When it was finished...he could finally move on, and Amber...Amber could forget any feelings she’d ever held for him in the past.

the story ended without even starting,

your song on the last day of the school festival, the flickering summer sea

our feelings that were precious because we were together,

like the deepening night sky, goodbye

the friendship label is a label that i grew to hate,

the feelings i’ve hidden still remain as a painful, secret memory

the photos that can’t define our relationship is a heartbreaking story

i’m sorry, summer, now goodbye.

[ bridge - help me gen!!! ]

the friendship label is a label that i grew to hate,

the feelings i’ve hidden still remain as a painful, secret memory

the photos that can’t define our relationship is a heartbreaking story

i’m sorry, summer, now goodbye

Gen chuckles, reading the small note Amber inserted in the middle of the lyrics, taking a seat at his own music table. Opening his laptop, he searches for the audio file that Amber sent him, opening it and listening to the background music. He opens the second file, with Amber’s voice singing along to it, laughing when she goes mockingly low, too low, for the male part.

Slowly, he begins writing his own lyrics, throwing in a rap that would fit perfectly with Amber, but were his own words, his own message to her. His regret and his pain, all of which he could finally throw away.

what do i say? we didn’t have to play no games,

i should’ve took that chance, i should’ve asked for you to stay

and it gets me down, the unsaid words that still remain.

He moves to the bridge, this time, his words coming directly from his heart. He knows that Amber was his first love. He knows that if she asked him to be hers, he would say yes, even now. He knows that he would never let her go, but he also knows that Amber would never ask him, because she let him go a long time ago when she fell in love with Henry. The instant she’d grasped Henry’s hands and listened to his confession, the confession Gen himself had been too scared to make...

baby, oh no, oh

i’m sorry that this is a monologue

actually, i love you.

if our long-time hidden secrets were revealed

i would hold you in my arms.

Gen re-reads the lyrics, humming along to the words and singing a few of the lines out loud. When he reaches the end, he hesitates, before finally putting in a few last lines, his pencil scratching against the paper.

the friendship label is a label that i grew to hate,

a heartbreaking story, i’m sorry, summer, now goodbye.

Goodbye, Amber.