Chapter 19

Key sets up a canvas and paints his feelings all over it. It's a healthy distraction from the reality. The kind of distraction he likes.

"I'm back!", Jonghyun calls out from somewhere behind and he hums, dipping his brush into the dab of black. It's a painting of a boy sitting at the corner of a very dark room, hands wrapped together around the knees with his head buried in them.

Jonghyun sits on the bed and stares intently at the painting. He is blinking hard and squinting at it, like he is trying to figure out what it is.

"What the..? Is that supposed to be you?", he snorts.

Key rolls his eyes and ignores him. From the corner of his eye, he can see Jonghyun's face and neck gleaming in a sheen of sweat. His mouth itches to yell at the lazy to take a shower when he inches closer to the bed, his bed, sighing contently as he makes himself comfortable.

Not now, not now. Got to to finish this first. Key tries to focus.

Jonghyun remains quiet the entire time, eyes blown wide and traveling between the picture and Key's face in intervals. At one point, when he gets bored watching him, he drops backwards and strikes up a one-sided conversation about his late night activities. Key hisses in warning when he starts to get loud with each sentence but Jonghyun isn't really paying attention. He is giggling at the ceiling, describing the sheer look of disbelief he got from the chick who gave him a , only to be left needy and panting once he was done with .

Key ignores him, smudging more and more black on the canvas until he feels like the room is dark enough to portray loneliness.

"Key, you listening? Keey! Kibum!"

He sighs in irritation because Jonghyun was now loud enough to wake up his roommate next door. Mir is a heavy sleeper, but Jonghyun is also obnoxiously loud and- he sniffs the air, crinkling his nose in disgust. 

"You're drunk.", he hisses out finally, sharp eyes glaring at Jonghyun's sprawled out form accusingly. "I've told you not to come into my room when you're drunk."

Jonghyun struggles to raise his head to look at him.

"Stop ignoring me. I don't like it when you ignore me." He looks genuinely hurt.

Key feels a pang of guilt making its way through him at that, which goes just as it comes when Jonghyun's hand swishes in the air widely and collides with the head post of the bed.

"! What the is this ?", he grunts.

Jonghyun is wearing the shirt Minho bought him last year when he lost a bet about Jeon Hyosung's size. It now has sweaty patches all over it, Key observes sadly.

He sighs and pulls the hopeless boy up by the hand.

"Just go back to your room, Jonghyun. It's almost 2'o clock and I want to sleep. Guards will notice the lights soon. And before you ask, no, you're not sleeping here. You smell."

Jonghyun looks at him, eyes broadening impossibly wide and lips curling into a huge, exaggerated pout. He looks very much like an overgrown puppy.

Fortunately, Key is too used to this trick. He shakes his head, smiling automatically, and continues pushing Jonghyun towards the door anyway. Jonghyun tries one more time turning to look at him with the same imploring expression. He even quivers his lips for extra effect.

Key snorts and smears a trail of paint all over Jonghyun's chin and on the tip of his nose. The latter's eyes widens for real this time. He rubs his hands furiously on his face and throws a string of profinities at Key who is now on the floor shaking with laughter. 

When he is done laughing, he realises Jonghyun has decided to sit next to him on the floor, apparently having no plans of leaving any time soon. He looks at Key for a long time, his expression very similar to the expression he makes when he is thinking about something really hard. Which wasn't very often.

"Get out Jjong.", Key tries pushing his chest and Jonghyun sways back a little, though never taking his eyes away from Key's face. The heat of his gaze was enough to make him feel unsettled.

"What?" he asks, irritated.

"Have you been crying again?"

The question takes him off-guard but he tries to pretend like he isn't affected.

"No."

The other boy frowns at the obvious lie and Key doesn't understand why he even bothered to lie to Jonghyun.

Jonghyun, who could always read him like an open book.

"You're a ty liar. Your eyes are red and puffy and it makes you look ugly."

In normal circumstances, Key would glare at him hard enough to burn his skull. But today he is feeling too tired and broken. So he doesn't say anything and just smiles sadly at the floor.

"You know, you just have to say a word and I'll kill him. I will- wait, one sec, ", he sighs heavily when Jonghyun struggles for a moment before pulling out a pen knife out of his pocket, "I can make it look like an accident and- and I can-"

Key rolls his eyes.

"Put that away Jjong. We've already been through this once."

Jonghyun huffs disapprovingly, but slowly does as he was told.

Looking at Jonghyun's state now, Key wonders when his friend changed so much. When he turned cruel enough to think about killing anyone who he thought deserve to die. He wouldn't do it, of course. Key wouldn’t let him, at least. But Jonghyun could do it if he want and with the amount of anger blazing in his eyes right now, he probably would if Key asks him to.

It saddens him to think that no one seems to remember the boy Jonghyun used to be.  The boy who lived in his own world of dreams, where he sang his heart out and nothing else mattered. He stole many hearts with a single smile. He breathed music.

Key's heart feels heavy.

"I went to see Minho.", he says and feels Jonghyun’s shoulder going stiff next to him, "He seems to have made new friends." He knows there is no need to state the names.

He half excepts Jonghyun to yell at him that he doesn’t care about Minho, but he only shifts a little, struggling to get on his feet and mumbling incoherently about feeling exhausted and wanting to sleep. He is not going towards the door though. He is crawling through Key's sheets.

Not leaving then.

At the end, Key forces him to take a shower and they end up sharing the bed.

Jonghyun has never once shown any awkwardness when they are physically close, even after finding out about his ual orientation. During the beginning of their teenage years Jonghyun used to bring stashes of magazines every time he returned from summer holidays, to share with Key and Minho. Minho took his share and disappeared to his room immediately. Key rejected them, threatening to burn them all if he ever happens to see them again. 

When Key came out to them, Jonghyun had spluttered his food all over the room and gaped at him, very much like a floundering goldfish. He stayed like that until his slow brain finally was able to put all the pieces together and everything started to make sense in his head. After the initial shock he went back to his normal self again, acting like nothing really changed between them. But Key knew better.

The most unaffected one was Minho, who did not even flinch once when Key dropped the bomb.

“Yeah, and?”, he had asked.

“You’re not…”, Key swallows unsurely, trying to find the right words, “I don’t know, freaked out?”

Minho had shook his head and proceeded to tell him about how he did not like shaving his legs and had the most masculine thighs ever. Then he pointed out that he absolutely did not have pink perky s so Key should definitely not consider having with him.

Key still cannot seem to figure out just how Minho could have possibly known about the type of boys he goes for so accurately. But then again, Minho always had been the most observant one out of them. Jonghyun was always a little slow.

“Jjong?”

Next to him, Jonghyun lets out an ugly snore, loud enough to wake the dead. Key worriedly glances at the general direction of Mir’s room and pinches Jonghyun’s hips, hard.

“Key, what?! in’ stop it!”, Jonghyun tries to glare, but his eyes are too heavy, already beginning to close.

"This Lee Jinki.” Key says and they snap open, “ Why don’t you like him?"

It's something Key has always wondered. Though he doesn't know why he thought now would be the appropriate time to ask.

Jonghyun mumbles something, turning his head to look at him, and Key has to close the distance between their foreheads to hear better.

"He pisses me off. ", Jonghyun’s nostrils are flared up like they always do when he is angry, "With his goofy glasses and big dumb smile. What a ing klutz."

Key can’t agree with him more. But this klutz had witnessed him in his most vulnerable state and no matter how much he want to believe that Jinki is too much of a wimp to dare to speak of it to anyone, he can’t forget the way Jinki had smiled at him, looking dangerously smug.

He assumes Jonghyun has finished talking and is about to pull his head back when he realises he is still speaking.

“I hate his voice.” he is saying and jealousy is suddenly all too evident in his voice, “He sings with it so freely and I hate it.”

It's a big confession that Jonghyun is making. Key sees it then, the envy Jonghyun feels, and he couldn’t figure out why he didn’t see it from the very start. He was usually good at these things.

When he was in Apollo, Jonghyun had always been confident and more than a little arrogant about his singing abilities. Each time he heard an Apollo student sing, he’d rate them, on the scale of one to ten. There was always one person who got ten out of ten on his scale and that was himself, although Junsu did come pretty close.

Jonghyun doesn’t really sing anymore. Not when anyone is around him, or maybe not ever.

But it’s unfair to that Lee Jinki, Key thinks but pushes that thought at the very back of his mind. He has never understood whatever pleasure or satisfaction Jonghyun gets by humiliating this Lee Jinki guy. Key knows he could tell Jonghyun off for being so immature and demand him to stop the idiocy and there is a chance that Jonghyun may actually listen to him. But really, why should it matter to him?, he thinks.

Then he closes his eyes and sleeps.

****************

SM Academy Festival begins the following week with Changmin giving a welcome speech and Yonghwa explaining the rules and regulations and the consequences of violating them, looking pointedly at Jonghyun’s direction while he did so. Each House is allowed to any kind of activities they want as long as they don’t include fire or any other dangerous weapons that may potentially cause harm.

Taemin drags Jinki and Minho to the Haunted House quite enthusiastically right after they have their breakfast. He had been constantly going on about it since the moment Shinding had told him about it. Minho doesn’t look like he is fond of the idea but he never really protest.

The corridor is crowded with students and they have to wait in the queue for what seems to be hours until they finally get to go in there. Jinki is completely sure that the undignified squeak he heard when a creepy rag doll floats above their heads as soon as they enter, didn’t come from either him or Taemin. He sends a knowing grin at Minho who looks away and clears his throat.

When they come out of there Jinki and Taemin are still holding onto each other and screaming out of their lungs like girls. Minho is slightly pale but tries to cover it up by straightening his posture and ing his hands into the pockets of his trousers.

They participate in the Chilli Eating Contest later that day. Jinki pretends to enjoy himself while nibbling on that one chilli he had since the beginning, watching pitifully as Taemin and Minho dives to get more from the big bowl in front of them with leaking eyes. Both of them give up when the spiciness burns their tongue and spins their head to the point that they have to pour bottles of water down their mouths.

On the way to their rooms after all their adventures, Taemin ends up gagging uncontrollably and throws up all over Minho’s favourite shoes.

“Woops, sorry.”, Taemin attempts to look apologetic but he makes a face of ultimate disgust at the shoes like it wasn’t his vomit they were coated in.

Jinki is pretty sure he heard Minho growl. 

Minho doesn’t join them the next day, leaving early to practice for soccer match in the afternoon. Adonis has turned the sports hall into a movie theatre. Jinki buys popcorn for him and Taemin and they watch a movie marathon until Taemin declares he is hungry. After lunch, they make their way to the Academy Sports Stadium and as expected, it is already full of students.

Minho has gave them the tickets for the front row for free. After much struggling, they find their seats and it’s only until the start of the match Jinki turns his head and realises that it is Kim Kibum who is sitting next to Taemin. Taemin seems to know of it already by the way he ignores all of Jinki’s desperate warning pokes and shoves another handful of popcorn into his mouth.

Jinki is both surprised and not so surprised. Not so surprised because he should have guessed that Minho must have obviously saved front seat tickets for Key. And for Jonghyun too. Probably.

Jinki's heart rate increases drastically at the the thought. He hazards a look towards the side, regretting it immediately when realising Key's sharp eyes are staring back at him. Strangely, it is Key who looks away first.

There is no sign of Jonghyun however and Jinki relaxes slowly, swallowing his relief.

“Come on, Minho!”, Key is shouting now, standing up in all his grace as Minho's team makes their way to the field.

“Get in there, Minho!” Taemin all but roars the next second and both Key and Jinki looks at him, surprised. Jinki is suspicious about this unusual enthusiasm Taemin is currently showing to encourage Minho, but later he gets it. He is showing off to Key. It strikes him once again just how thickheaded and immature Taemin can really be.

Then there is another cheer coming from Key.

He has a raised brow directed at Taemin, lips curled into a challenging smirk and Jinki panics for a second. Key's smirk looks playful like he is enjoying whatever the hell was going on, but Jinki could be wrong. Taemin huffs and wastes no time in getting up from his seat and shrieking out Minho's name once again, even louder than before .

Then suddenly, a cheering match erupts between them.

And when Minho was holding the ball for the final shot towards the end of the match and the three of them ends up cheering together for him, Jinki decides to mention nothing about it in the future. 

**************

When he agreed to sing at the Festival, he had not expected to see so many people as audience. Later, he found out from Heechul that the play is to be held right after the singing and dancing performances. The Academy hall keep getting filled with students from all three Houses, many of the late comers having to stand as there weren't any more seats left.

Jinki doesn't get to see Taemin's dance performance that day.

Taemin will go crazy when he finds out, he knows. But he had been practicing in the music room since morning for his first ever real performance and he hadn't been able to think about anything else but that. Taemin will understand.

GD's pops into the backstage curtains, his eyes locating Jinki's lonely figure immediately. He rushes past all the other students getting ready for their performances, his hands holding a paper pad of some sort and a pen held up in the air as an attempt to make it easier for him to squeeze through.

"Lee Jinki!"

Jinki jumps.

"You're up next. Hurry up!"

He squeaks when a microphone is pushed into his hands and he gets dragged towards the direction of the stage before he can even speak. 

Okay, his breath shakes, It's okay. Don't care about anything else, just sing.

There is a big surge of cheers and applauds from the audience when he is pushed onto the stage. All he could see from up there is an ocean of students in red and green and blue blazers, but he smiles and bows anyway. He sees the Cratus too, sitting at the very front row.

"Jinki!", someone whispers from the side of the backstage area.

Jinki turns his head awkwardly, smile still perfectly in place, and standing there was Heechul and Kevin, dressed up as beautiful ladies for their play and waving at him enthusiastically. Jinki snaps his head back towards the audience again. The image of Heechul in a dress and thick make-up was more than terrifying. But his heart has somehow calmed down.

The karaoke starts playing and he clears his throat and sings.

Except nothing is heard. Jinki panics wildly, nearly throwing off the microphone in the process. Heechul takes off from where he was standing, holding up his dress up with both hands and marching towards Jinki with an unimpressed face.

"The mic is not , you idiot!", he snatches the device off a terrified Jinki and turns it on for him, handing it back and returning to his previous position.

The whole hall erupts into laughter and Jinki apologises more than a few times, embarrassed by his own stupidity.

But the music starts once more and when he sings, everything goes silent.

*************                                                             

"It was seriously good Onew! You should totally be a singer."

That's the ninth time Taemin has said it since the moment he came. How he made it past all the crowd and to the backstage, Jinki would never know. He takes the water bottle that his friend offers and takes as many gulps as he can.

"Even Jonghyun was watching you with his mouth open."

Jinki sprays out the water in surprise, snapping his head at Taemin.

"Jonghyun?", he asks to make sure he heard it right and points at the direction of the stage and the audience, "He's in there?"

Taemins shrugs.

"He was there, I saw him. But I think he left in the middle of of your performance.", he grins cheekily, "Guess he couldn't handle your awesomeness."

Jinki tries to roll his eyes but instead a smile breaks across his face. He sees Yunho coming their way, the glasses he's wearing doing nothing to hide the weariness of his eyes.

"Taemin, your club members are looking for you so please leave for your practice now.", Yunho pushes Taemin away towards a different drection and Jinki remembers.

"Isn't your performance already over?", he asks.

"No, that was our group performance.", Taemin shouts over his shoulder, "I'm doing a solo later. Be there okay? No excuses this time. Bye." And then both of them are gone.

"I want you to do something for me Jinki." Junsu rushes towards him a second later, "Can you please put this guitar back in the music store room? The guys forgot to put it away with the rest.We won't be needing it anymore."

Jinki takes it from Junsu and agrees to return before the play starts. He has to come back for Taemin's solo anyway. The walk to the music corridor is fairly long but it's the place Jinki is most familiar with so he is sure he won't be getting lost.

The music room of SM is pretty big. Jinki has been there more than once for their club activities and it's always kept organised and clean. The instruments are stored in separate sections, since there are so many of them. Jinki figures it maybe the fact that almost half of the students in House Apollo knew to play musical instrument of some kind.

When he opens the door of the room, he realises that there is already someone else in there, at the far end of the room, playing the piano. He wonders why anyone would choose to play the piano at this time, when almost everyone is in the hall to watch the play. He quickly dismisses the thought as none of his business. Too much wondering has always lead him to bad luck. This guy is obviously very skilled, Jinki thinks as he hung the guitar on the wall along with the rest, moving as quietly as possible so that he doesn't cause any sort of interruption.

And then the person starts singing.

Jinki freezes at once, eyes widening in recognition of the too familiar melody and the lyrics.

This song...

It's the same song he sang.

But this person, he was singing it much more effortlessly, much more beautifully. He was easily hitting the high notes Jinki had struggled to reach.

And this voice, it's so... Jinki's heart clenches. He had to see who it was.

He strides his way over to the where he knows the piano is kept. He doesn't stop until he could clearly see who it was.

That hair, he could recognise it anywhere.

Jonghyun doesn't stop singing, his fingers dancing on the piano keys and Jinki just can't seem to stop staring. There is something about Jonghyun's voice, or maybe it was the way he threw his head back while closing his eyes, that was... breathtaking. Beautiful.

There is a sudden squeeze around his heart that tightens, until he has to open his mouth to take breaths.

Beautiful.

The singing stops and Jonghyun whips his head towards him, his fingers stilling and eyes going all big at once. As soon as he sees that it's Jinki though, he smirks cockily, getting up slowly.

Jinki is confused at first. Then he drops his gaze to the floor, realising he may have spoken his inner thought out loud. What the hell was wrong with him?

He turns around fast, walking away before Jonghyun can get close. What he keeps forgetting is that Jonghyun can stop him with a simple command.

"Hey Jinki, wait!"

Jinki stops. It's the first time Jonghyun has called him by his name. It was usually 'tard' or 'head' or something. He looks over his shoulder and sees Jonghyun leaning on the piano.

"Did I say you can leave?", he looks pissed off. "Come back here. I'm not done yet."

Jinki's heart is drumming with fear when he walks back towards where Jonghyun is standing. He curls his fists and makes a promise to himself that if Jonghyun was going to beat him, he would give him back at least two of his own. On both sides of his face.

Jinki waits.

"Don't go around telling that bony friend of yours or anyone else at all about what you saw here. I'll kill you." , Jonghyun waits for a reply that never comes. "Didn't you hear me? Or are you deaf as well as dumb? "

"Y-Yeah.", Jinki shifts on his feet, adjusting his glasses nervously and then flails, "No, I mean, I'm not dumb. Or deaf. I heard you."

Jonghyun has come much closer to him that before, close enough that he can throw a slap across Jinki's cheek easily if he wants to. So Jinki takes three steps back.

"Y'know upclose, you're not that ugly.", Jonghyun says and Jinki almost trips backwards in his haste of getting away from the hand that was extending towards his face. But Jonghyun's is quick to grab his chin and pull him forward until their faces are inches apart. Jinki feels tightness residing in his chest.

"I think I understand why I was so desperate to you that night."

A/N: Okay guys, I really did want to finish off that scene but this was some looong chapter and I didn't want to make it anymore longer. But from next chapter onward, there will be a lot of JongYu. I think that's kind of obvious but. ^^

Ohand guys, if you're a fan of BL movies and and stuff, check this one out. It's called 'A Crimson Mark' and it's really cute. It's soooo unpopular so I thought I'd share with you ^__^ And omg you MUST watch this movie called 'The King and the Clown'.  Especially if you love BL! It's one of the best Korean movies I've ever watched! >__< 

OMG CAN I JUST GIVE A BIG HUG TO ALL THE MERTHUR SHIPPERS HERE!! I was sooo happy when I read your comments :D 

Urm...do you guys ship JohnLock? Or ThorKi? :D