PAGE 1

My world was in darkness, so dark that I never made the attempt to light my world to see the path I was walking on as I knew no light was bright enough to bring even a little darkness away.  When all hopes were gone, when I thought I would just rot away and die, an extraordinary star, brighter than the sun, prettier than the moon, lit my world like the light at the end of a tunnel.

Your beauty captures every sense in me. My eyes were blinded by your beautiful eyes. My words were stuck in my throat when you asked my name. My hands felt moist and clammy for the first time in my life. My ears were numb and everything was muffled except for your melodious, soothing voice. Ultimately, my heart had stopped beating for a moment by the sudden bright beautiful light you had brought into my life.

PAGE 2

We are happy together.

Feeling you in my embrace and feeling your arms around me is the most wonderful thing that I can ever feel. Locking your beautiful eyes to my gaze always mesmerize me no matter how many times we look into each other; your eyes are more beautiful than any black pearl in the world, more stunning than the most expensive diamonds worn by Queen Elizabeth. And when you smile, it is like the light in my world brighten even more, as though there is no end to the brightness you give me, the happiness you share with me.

Every kiss we share, feeling the softness of your gentle lips on mine, it is like fireworks in the night sky, blinding bright beauty in the dark corners of my dark world. You brighten every part of my dark world, you bring happiness to my world, and you are the only one I love in my life.

And I know that I am the only one you will ever love.

PAGE 3

I still can’t forget you.

I still remember when you smiled at me; the bright, stunning light that never fails to brighten my day. I still remember your gentle touch against my hand; the soft electricity feeling when your skin meets mine. I still remember your soothing voice, waking me up from my nightmares; the melody that lifts me up on my feet to start a new day everyday.

I still can’t trust everything.

Word spreads around like forest fires, quick and hazardous. Word spreads that you have gotten over me but word never got around that I have never left your side. The things you left behind – the piano you used to play everyday for me to hear, the books you used to ask me to read every night – mark every scar you left in my heart. The dent you left on the floor from your heels, the chipped off wood from the frame of the door from your rigorous slam and the broken glasses of the picture frames from your tantrums – these mark the bleeding wounds in my heart that have yet to heal, and never will.

Even today, I can’t send you away like this.

Every night, eleven o’clock sharp, the tall grandfather clock would chime across the room. Without fail, memories – nightmare-like memories – would fill up my mind. Darkness would engulf me and I would be at the door, trying to get you back, pleading with tears, while you struggled to let go of me, twisting your hand around. Just one turn, the moment my watery eyes met your fiery ones, I knew that I had lost the battle to you. I will never let the light from my life fade away and let darkness engulf me again.

I can’t leave your sweet presence.

One thing’s for sure, I will rewrite our story again. Our story will not end. It mustn’t.

PAGE 4

Right now, there are only happy stories here.

(I will rewrite it once again with the start beginning with you and me smiling happily.)

Staring into the sunset from our window, we stood arm-in-arm. With your smile brightening my day even more, I kissed your forehead and tightened my arm around you waist.

(In case you will leave, the background is a small room without an exit.)

You wrapped your arms around me, burying your face into my neck. Running my fingers through your silky hair, you looked up at me with your doe eyes, whispering, “I love you, Junhyung. And I will never leave you.”

(I will bury the fact that reality is seeping into my skin for now.)

Whispering back into your ear, I hugged you even tighter, “I will hold on to you and I won’t ever let you go. I can never let you go from my embrace… Never…”

I will say this again once more. Right now, you are next to me.

And I believe only that.

I’m writing the story that will never end in my heart.

PAGE 5

There is no such thing as an end for us.

Now is the start. There is no end.

I’m the writer who lost his purpose, writing endlessly, mixing the fiction and the facts up. If this goes on, how am I supposed to write the end of this novel?  This story can neither be happy nor sad.

Nothing ever seems to connect; I can never connect the fiction and fact together.

I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

I keep writing these three words but nothing ever happens. Like a scientist who confuses fact and fiction, whatever I perceive, think, write or do will never bring you back.

I’ll keep on writing, even when I’ve used up all the pages of this book, even when the ink is dry, I’ll keep writing the happy fictional story of you and I in my mind as it will never end. It will still be a pen on tear-stained paper, writing words only in fiction, never fact.

Even until today, I’m still in the story of you and I that hasn’t ended… (In Fiction)

Right now, I’m writing such a happy story, but it is all just a wish… still…