Paradise

"Please stay here, I’m asking you a favor, I’ll treat you better, I can’t let you go yet
I must live, I must survive, cause I will stop some day"

Don’t get me wrong she is the sweetest girl in the world but I hated her.  I hated her agreeing to date you.  I hated being the constant third wheel all I wanted was you.  I’m selfish am I?  Just wanting to monopolize you like that.  The thing is she makes you unbearably happy, I can see it in your face as you devise what sweet date you are going to take her out on.  But my escapism is my fandom sadly enough.  Mock me all you want Lee Hyukjae but my fandom let’s me dream.  Sometimes I save the fanfictions to my laptop and then change the names to ours.  Go ahead, laugh.  It’s the only way I can deal with this without hating her guts.  Let me have my fantasy world Hyukjae.  Cause when I’m in that world It’s my little piece of paradise. 

“So, Donghae what happened next after you punched him?” Ryeowook asked eagerly, practically bouncing up and down.

“Well we kinda brawled for a bit.” Donghae laughed.  “Then he pinned me and Kyuhyun commented that we were in a compromising position.”

“Trust Kyuhyun, you know you have to introduce these friends to me one day.  Though I some how feel like I know them already.”

“Wook, I didn’t get to describe that moment, he looked so hot and the way he was glaring at me was just-“

“I do not want to here your deprived ual fantasies for your best friend.”

“What he’s handsome.” Donghae whined.

“He’s not even I’m better looking then him.”

“It’s his charisma.”

“Whatever Donghae, so are you two okay now?”

“Yeah we are, I think.”  Donghae sighed. “He apologised and everything and now it’s all work.  I never see him out of practise.”

“Why?”

“He’s always with her and I can’t stand being around the two of them so I just go to the practise room.  Well it makes sense since Hoya is often at the centre I have to look good when I dance.  Plus my voice sounds really breathy still when I sing and dance.”

“She has a name you know Donghae, I’m worried for you.  Why don’t you hang with Kyuhyun or Yesung?”

“Those two haven’t stopped singing since Kyuhyun discovered Yesung could sing.  Plus Yesung needs this he’s always kinda had a thing for Kyuhyun.”

“Hang out with your sister?

“She’s spending all that time with Henry, I hate third wheeling.”

“Krystal?”

“She scares me a little, I don’t know why she just has this aura about her lately.”

“Seriously Donghae I know you feed of human interaction you can’t just lock yourself in a practise room all day!”

“C’mon lets just enoy watching the boys, it is there comeback stage and I need to make sure I observe the movements.”

“Yeah right, your just here to watch the ing.”

“No!” Donghae protested.

“Lies, Lee Donghae, Lies.”

But Donghae kept lying to him Ryeowook.  He wasn’t fine by himself in fact he was slowly cracking.  He felt Hyukjae slipping away from him as he tried to woo Jieun with meals and to help her with her dancing.  It was pathetic really how his life seemed to centre around Hyukjae.   It was no different today, a day before the cultural festival where they’d be trialling the live performances of the songs they eventually planned to go on television with.  Donghae was sweating through his shirt as he kept practising by himself.  Eunhyuk, was yet again in the girls dance club helping them out not that Donghae minded whatsoever.  Better than Eunhyuk dragging them to his practise room where he’d have to endure Hyukjae’s stupid pick up lines, stupid lines that weren’t being used on him.  Suddenly there was a knock at the door.  Curious as to whom it was, Donghae opened it up tentatively, the music still blaring in the background.  He was greeted by a taller student he had never seen before,  the stanger was taller than him (which honeslty wasn’t that hard) an obviously the very definition pretty boy. He had cat like eyes and a Kyuhyun like smirk adorning his seemingly perfect face.

“Hello?” Donghae said a little nervously.

“Well hello Donghae, this is where you disappeared to.  I was wondering I’ve been meaning to talk to you.”  The guy said creeping him out and walking past him to enter into the studio.

“What-what’s your name?”

“You don’t know me?  I’m in third year-“

“Oh,” Donghae quickly bowed in respect. “Sorry for my informality I didn’t know you look rather young.”

“Well, if I didn’t like you before I most definitely love you now your even cuter face to face.”  The older boy pinched his cheek. “I’m shocked you don’t know me I am Kim Heechul.  I’m kind of like the schools resident rock star.” Donghae shook his head in response.  He didn’t associate with many people outside his tiht nit group of friends and classroom gossip had never interested him. “Well, I’m guessing you spend so much time coped up in this practise room it’s no wonder you don’t know.”

“Sorry – is this going somewhere, I need to perfect this dance, the cultural festival is tomorrow and if I don’t get it right I’ll let the whole team down.”

“Wow, you are dedicated, how come it’s just you in here? Aren’t you part of a team?”

“Well, the others are working on there specialty- I’m a bit slow so I want to just,”

“What, what are you doing Lee Donghae.”

“Practising...”

“Isn’t this obviously a group thing? Why are you the only one?”

“It’s my own practise.”

“Right,”  Heechul chuckled. “So you are basically working your off here while the others are lazing around and that primate of a best friend of yours id flirting with some girls.”

“How, how do you know?” Donghae said absolutely flabbergasted how did Heechul know so much about him?

“I’ve been watching you Lee Donghae.” The boy chuckled.  “Yes, in that creepy way you think I do.  I don’t choose my friends lightly.”

“Friends? What?”

“I’ve decided to take you under my wing.  Your cute and more than a little innocent I’ve always wanted to take care of an underclassman.”

“Why?”

“Consider me your fairy godmother, your depressed right?”

“Right?”

“Your in love with your best friend.  Your best friend is in love with a girl who is actually more interested in you than him.  The guy that does love you are not interested in.  The guy that likes that guy is just as hopeless as you and follows his crush around like a lost puppy.”

“That sounds complicated.” Donghae said never realising that his life and his friend’s lives were that… messy.

“Hey it’s your love life not mine.” Heechul smiled. “But never fear my young prodigy, we’ll convert your crush to the rainbow side.”

“Rainbow side?”

“The gay side? The none s loving side? The side that-“

“I get it! I get it!” Donghae blushed.  “Thanks for your offer but really, I’m fine the way things are.”

“Well, Donghae, my offer is always open.”  Heechul winked at him.  “Anyway, your present should be coming soon.”

“Present?”  Heechul smirked. “I must be off I feel the need to make out with my boyfriend, his martial arts training is nearly over and damned his uniform turns me on.”

“Bye?” Donghae said, waving at the strange upper classman.  He the music wondering just what his present was.

“D-d-donghae? You’re here?” Donghae turned aroun, to face a guilty looking Hyukjae.

“Pardon? What! Why are you here? I thought you were with the girls.”

“Why didn’t you tell me you were practising?”

“Well I suspected you would know I’ve been here like nearly everyday this year.”

“You are sweating.” Hyukjae muttered lifting a towel up to his sweating face. “I didn’t realise. I’m sorry Donghae I’m so sorry.”

“Why? Hyuk how is this your fault?”

“I promised after your mum left you guys, I promised that I’d take care of you and not let you get lonely or down on yourself.  I’ve failed that haven’t I? I’ve been so distracted-“

“Hyukjae it’s okay.” Donghae said his heart thumping.

“No Donghae it’s not okay I really am sorry. I’ve been a jerk lately and I’ve been selfish.” Donghae saw his friends eyes tear up. 

“Don’t feel guilty Hyuk-“ Donghae said tears welling up in his eyes too. “I only am here because I want to make you proud with my dancing to be as good as you.”

“For me? Why are you doing this for me?”  Donghae didn’t get to answer that question.  Suddenly everyone was barging into the room.

“Donghae! Donghae ! I’m sorry I was carried away Noona loves you!” Amber said giving him a big hug. 

“Amber-“

“Yeah sorry for not practising as hard as I should Donghae.” Henry said in his awkward Korean.

“I guess I got a bit carried away with singing.” Kyuhyun grinned. “I did it all to impress you though.”

“Guys really you don’t have to apologize.” Donghae said feeling the tears spill over.

“We are your best friends Donghae, your team mates of course we care.” 

“Group hug!” Amber cheered.  Donghae soon failed himself squished up against Hyukjae’s chest.  It was moments like these when every moment along was worth it.  That night they ended up practising till late, trying on the costumes Krystal had been out shopping for prior to them meeting up.  Practising.  Getting pumped and ready for the big day.

Time passed quicker than Donghae could imagine.  Especially leading up to there first live performance.

“Donghae your shaking why is that?” Hyukjae laughed.

“Nervous, I want to do well you know.”

“Why are you nervous your about to perform one of your favourite songs!  You’re the one that has been practising so much.”

“I don’t know I want to do well, for our dream.”  Hyukjae laughed flashing his gummy teeth and Donghae could not help but notice how good looking Hyukjae was.

“It’s always us for you isn’t it.  There is no I.”

“Well-“

“Don’t worry from now on I promise to fight for us too.  Like right now on that stage we are going to wrap our hearts out.  We are going to dance with our hearts out.  We are going to sing our hearts out-“

“Stop talking HyuKjae that’s so incredibly lame.”

“I know, but let’s go, to Infinite and beyond.”  Hyukjae chuckled imitating Buzz Light Year.  As lame as it was, it was what Donghae needed to stand on that stage with confidence and assurance.  Under the blinding lights they had there first performance and Donghae loved it, on stage with the people that cared for him, he grew up with, singing his favourite song.  The world seemed right and when the roar of the crowd came when they finished the performance he saw.

Donghae was almost skipping down the corridor, feeling on top of the world.  However he haltered to a stop when from around the corner he heard a familiar voice.  Curious, he peeped around the corner, staying out of site.  Hyukjae was there, calmly leaning on the wall, and Donghae gasped when he saw Jieun there too.

“Jieun you reckon you could go out with me?”  Hyukjae said with an uncharacteristic smirk.

“I’m sorry Eunhyuk I have to concentrate right now- I’ve got my career to look after and I can’t afford to put this in jeopardy.  I know I just said you looked and amazing up on that stage but I need to have priorities.”

“What do you mean?”

“Maybe next year, when I’m grounded within my agency.”

“Next year? Seriously Jieun you want to wait till next year?”

“I’m sorry, I truly am I just, I need time I do really like you.” Jieun pleaded.

“Fine I’ll give you a year, after that I’ll be suspecting an answer.”

 “Well, it’s not like any other guy I know is worth going out with.” Jieun shrugged. “You just keep dancing like you do and I’m sure you’ll keep my interest.”  Donghae’s eyes widened. 

“My, my look what we have hear, a little eavesdropper.” He heard someone whisper in his ear. Donghae nearly screamed out, luckily the mysterious person placed a hand over his mouth as to stop the scream.  Donghae looked up in shock to realise it was Heechul.  Immediately his upperclassman began dragging away from the scene.  As he ran down the corridor with the other he realised there were tears streaming down his cheek.  His chest was heavy filled with hurt and jealousy he’d been hiding for so long.

“You love monkey boy that much don’t you.” Heechul smiled as they drew to a stop. “Would you look at that you even look pretty when your crying! That’s a talent you know I just look like a witch.”

“I don’t know what to do? He’s- he’s in love with her and she likes him back!”

“Easy! Why isn’t it obvious?

“So-so-so what do I do? He’s, he’s promised her-.”

“Well you’ll have to chase after his heart before that won’t you.  You’ve got a year right? Make monkey boy yours.”

The Chaser

"Don’t be sorry, you can abandon me spitefully and leave
If that’s what you want, yeah, good bye
But that doesn’t mean I have given up too"
 

I hate dying my hair Hyukjae.  I really do, the bleach itches like no tomorrow and then when the roots come back and you have to get them done again.  It’s an endless cycle of annoyance.  But I have to admit the finished product is worth it, for one moment in time my hair is perfectNow I think about it, that cycle is similar to the one I have with you.  If I finally spend time by your side she’ll eventually worm her way in and suddenly I’m the thirdwheel.  She’s always there.  But if you think for one second I’m giving up because of her, you are very wrong Hyukjae. I think I’ll always be after your heart.  She may have yours now but I will always be chasing after yours.  Running until one day I catch up to you and make you mine. 

“What on earth is alien boy doing here too?” Heechul tutted pointing at a confused looking Yesung.

“Well he asked me if he could join in making himself more appealing.”

“That’s wrong!” Yesung grumbled.

“Well, Yesung is tagging along because you make me a little nervous Heenim.” Donghae mumbled.

“I guess I can’t be angry when you call me Heenim cutely like that.” Heechul smiled ruffling Donghae’s hair.

 “This is Yesung I’m guessing? The one that’s in love with Kyuhyun.”

“How did you know?” Yesung said completely shocked.

“Don’t look at me like that.”  Heechul rolled my eyes. “Your like a little leech.”

“I’m not leech like.” Yesung mumbled.

“Yah! If I say you are leech like you are.”

“Donghae are you sure we should hang out with this guy he’s a little odd.”  Yesung whispered in his ear.

“Your one to talk you take your pet turtles out for walks on a custom leash.”

“They need exercise!” Yesung growled.

“Why are we going to the hair salon?” Donghae asked.

“I’m getting you both a make over.”

“Wait! No you can’t ! My hair is a perfect imitation of Hoya’s you can’t do this.” Donghae sobbed.

“Wow Donghae your fanboy is showing.”  Heechul dead panned.

“Shut up Heechul, I like my hair.”

“You look boring Lee Donghae, you are changing your hair even if I have to knock you out.” Donghae struggled as Heechul shoved him in the chair.

“Why, Heechul, fancy seeing you here.”  A rather tall man with an accent  said.  Well, not rather tall a freakishly tall man.

“Hello Mimi, was wondering whether you could give my friend a cut I was thinking a golden blonde colour.”

“Blonde!” Donghae squeaked.  “YESUNG SAVE ME!” But his emo friend was no where to be scene.

“Donghae calm the frick down a little bit of bleach won’t kill you, well it will if you don’t stop moving because I’m frankly about to shove some down your throat.  Stop whining like a girl, it’s unbecoming.”

“I don’t want my hair changed, it’s like Hoyas’s is.” Donghae sobbed.

“Donghae I swear to god if you don’t get your hair done I’ll ensure.” Hechul growled.

“Okay Heenim.” Donghae froze, petrified of what the older was going to do to him.  He screwed his eyes shut hoping this was not happening he was in a nightmare and when he opened his eyes it’d all be over. 

“Donghae your still scrunching your eyes closed like that, open them so I can see what a wonderful Mi has done with your hair!” Donghae shook his head.

“You idiot fish boy.” Heechul huffed pinching Donghae on the shoulder.  It shocked Donghae into opening his eyes.  Donghae looked at himself in shock.

“That’s me.” He said in horror. “I look-“

“You look like a little angel that’s what you look like.” Heechul laughed. “Mi, looks like you have done it again.”  Donghae turned around and nearly fell over.  Behind him stood Yesung, his hair was blonde too but a bright platinum blonde colour. 

“Wow Yesung, you look good!” Donghae exclaimed.

“You do too, it really suits you Hae.”

“Stop complementing each other and put these clothes on, Mi is letting you use the staff toilets at the back.”

“What even is this?” Donghae said in shock.”

“Well you have no fashion sense so I’m doing a take over!”

“Plaid looks good.”

“It might but it also makes you look like a farm boy.  Yesung has a pretty good fashion sense but I think it’s about time he wore something that wasn’t black with skulls on it.”  After what Donghae swore was three years as he struggled to get into the very tight pair of dark jeans Heechul had proved him with he exited the change room.

“Wow, Donghae you look like you came off a run way” Zhou Mi exclaimed with a wide smile.  Donghae blinked looking at himself.  He had a tight v necked white tshirt on and layer on top of that a sleek leather jacket.  He did look good, it was different to his usual look but he kind of liked it.

“I guess I look okay.”  Donghae grumbled. He turned to see Yesung stumble out of the change room.  Yesung looked completely different from usual, he had a simple blazer layered on top of a tshirt. 

“Yesung! Wow you look awesome!”  Donghae said, amazed that Yesung didn’t look so, emo.  Even though he was staring intently as per usual he looked somehow softer.

“Now, I have arranged a Norebang party tonight, you are to wear exactly that.  Yesung your are to sing whatever ballad shows off your voice the most and Donghae you have to sing a girl group song.”  This caused Donghae’s eyes to bulge out of their sockets.

 “I can’t sing a girl group song at the norebang, I want to sing infinite.”

“No, Donghae your singing whatever girl group Hyukjae loves most.”

“No.  I’m not that type of gay.”

“It can’t hurt.  See, Yesung knows Kyuhyun likes nothing more than a good ballad and you know that Hyukjae has a thing for girl groups.”

“Really though-“

“Donghae.”

“I’ve already dyed my hair, wearing these inexplicably tight jeans which by the way I have no idea how you shoved on me.  I can’t believe your making me do this.  It’s just so cliché.  Plus you bad me look like a fricken rockstar and now your making me sing girl group songs!”

“Are you calling me cliché Donghae.”

“No Heenim.”

“Good, now just trust me this once if this does not help Lee Hyukjae question his uality a little I don’t know what will.”

So Donghae found himself at the Norebang, fashionably late with Yesung by his side.  Heechul was apparently already there and told them that they had to make an entrance.

“Are you sure this is okay?”

“I look like a bleached cat.” Yesung groaned.

“YeYe I don’t know how you came up with that.  You look fine me on the other hand- I can’t walk in these damned jeans.”

“Heechul has a weird obsession with blonde.” Yesung mused not even listening.

“Let’s just go in.” Donghae said wondering yet again what planet was Yesung on.

“Hey guys we are here.” Donghae smiled, walking into a room that was pretty crowded.  His friends were all there, Heechul, another boy he didn’t recognise and of course Jieun had wormed herself into Hyukjae’s company.

“Holy heck you two what happened to you!” Amber said, while the rest of the room gapeds in shock.

“Well long story short Yesung and I decided to be dumb blondes together.” Donghae joked, he knew it was a terrible one but that was the best he could come up with.

“My baby brother is so cute.” Amber crooned.  “You look even younger now I could put you in a stroller and sing nursery rhymes like I did when you were little.”

“Amber not now.” Donghae groaned.

“My my, doesn’t Donghae look good Hannie?”  He heard Heechul croon.

“Yes he is handsome but not as ravishing as you are.”  The stranger said. 

“I’ve trained you well Hannie.”  Heenim grinned. 

“Hyukjae what do you think.”  Donghae looked over at his best friend who was gaping like a fish out of water wtill.  Maybe what Heechul did worked?

“Donghae you look amazing if you didn’t look like a manga prince before you certainly look like one now.” Kyuhyun said. “You are just perfect like that. Definitely my type.”

“Well, thanks Kyuhyun.” Donghae smiled.  “Yesung looks good too right.”

“Yeah I guess he does.” Kyuhyun shrugged. “That hair suits you Yesung, you don’t look as creepy now.”  To that Yesung merely squeaked in response.  Donghae wasn’t exactly paying attention though, he noticed that Eunhyuk was no longer gaping at him and in fact Jieun was talking to him.  Donghae narrowed his eyes, that girl she was doing this on purpose.

“Why is Jieun here hanging all over him?” Donghae scowled in Yesung’s ear.

“Donghae come over hear and sit with me your new hair is really cute.” Kyuhyun said wrapping an arm around his shoulder. “Take a selca with me?”

“Why don’t you sit next to Yesung.”

“I spend every blinking moment with Yesung c’mon sit next to me.”

“Isn’t Yesung handsome though now with his new hair?” Donghae smiled pushing Kyuhyun towards Yesung and bouncing to sit next to Hyukjae.

“Hey,” Donghae smiled.

“Hey Donghae, sorry for that earlier you look good.” Eunhyuk smiled, Donghae felt his heart pounding in his chest.

“What do you want to sing?” Donghae asked.

“Was thinking Chris Brown.”

“Chris Brown.” Donghae choked. “You want to sing that idiots songs.”

“It’s about the music Donghae.” Whatever.  Donghae watched in amazement as Hyukjae sang and serenaded Jieun.  Growling in jealousy Donghae flipped through the song book trying to find the perfect manly song to win Hyukjae over.

“Wow the jealousy is absolutely radiating.” Heechul chuckled from next to him.  However, when Jieun  sang and IU song making Hyukjae cheer and clap  Donghae fumed.  Why was she so cute and lovely he could be cute too!

“Donghae why do you look pissed.” Kyuhyun asked him.

“I’m going after him.”

“Huh?”  Donghae stomped up and looked up the.

“Hey- it’s my turn to sing next! Wait your turn Donghae!”  Henry said in his brocken Korean but it was too late.  Donghae had keyed in the track number.  That girl might be a pretty, could sing and she might be a girl.  But Donghae had one thing playing in his favour.  He knew Hyukjae, he knew how he loved looking at the girls of A Pink despite the fact that they were just rookies that hadn’t comeback with there next hit yet. 

“What the actual hell Donghae? You’re going to sing A Pink?” Amber said in shock. “I’m disowning you.”  Donghae ignored him.  Somehow after watching all the performances with Hyukjae as he spazzed over every girl he’d see.  It seemed to be going well, it really did before he realised the song might be a little to high pitched for him.  When his voice crack on the long note at the end he saw Jieun laugh, it was a haunting one, making fun of him.  But what broke Donghae’s heart was that Hyukjae joined her laughing.  Hyukjae made fun of him all the time, but this time it wasn’t playful it seemed malicious as if he was playing along with her.  Donghae immediately stopped singing.  He turned and growled.

“Why are you laughing, it’s not funny.”

“Well, your just radiating gay at the moment it seems a little out of character.  I thought you only knew infinite.”  Jieun said.  The room went silent.  Donghae put the microphone down calmly and stormed out of the room.  Was this what he got for trying to have his crush laugh at him?  Donghae kept walking feeling the tears stream down his face, he felt hurt beyond belief.  He realized that he was chasing up the wrong tree Hyukjae was straight and in love there was no way he’d go for him. 

“Donghae wait up!” he heard the voice of his crush call out after him.  Donghae just kept on walking glad his dad’s apartment was just around the corner.

“Donghae just-“ Donghae ran, ran for his life Hyukjae didn’t have to see him like this, this wasn’t what he wanted. “I’m sorry Donghae I, I, I’m just trying to make Jieun like me.”

“By making me the brunt of your jokes Hyukjae?” Donghae growled turning around, facing his friend who looked guilty yet again.

“I’m sorry-“

“You know, sometimes I wonder if I even know you Hyukjae? You know I put everything into our friendship, you mean so much to me.  Yet, sometimes I feel that you are slipping away from me.”

“I’m sorry Hae-“

“Not until you get your priorities straight.” Donghae slammed the door in Hyukjae’s face. There was no point trying when it was a lost cause.  He’d just have to enjoy the next year with Hyukjae, enjoy it while he could before that girl took him away from him completely.  Donghae had to come in terms with the harsh reality, whilst Hyukjae had remained his favourite person, even from that point when he promised him all those years ago he was no longer Hyukjae’s favourite.  However, somewhere, despite all of this a small voice told him no matter what he’d still be chasing after his best friends heart. No matter what he was going to fight for it until the end.

*Slaps Hyukjae* WHY ARE YOU SO MEAN TO HAE T_T 

Sorry this took ages :/ seriously it just kept going on and I just kept rewriting it, I'm not 100% happy but it'll have to do :P 

Last chapter next ~ You guys should be proud of me it'll be my first 'chaptered' fanfiction to be finshed (let's just ignore the fact it was meant to be a one shot in the first place) :P Can I have a gold star? Or even better comment? ^^ *buing buing*

Thanks for reading ~ 

PS if you have time you should check out the side story for this, it focuses on KyuSung's side of the story ^^ It is called "That Man"