Before the Dawn

No matter how many times you throw me away,
Or how much you prevent it, I’m never going to let you go

Hyukjae, as I said before you know I’m scared of the dark.  However, the scariest time in my life to date was finding out my ual orientation.  It was actually beyond terrifying.  It was like suddenly I couldn’t tell you everything on my mind.  I was different.  I was different to you.  I guess I have to thank Infinite and Tony Stark for making me realise that I was gay.  But then I realised I had crush on you that made it even worse.  I was scared you’d hate me, you’d abandon me and I could never live with myself.  I started detesting myself.   You wished for a girl friend, money and fame.  My only wish was that every morning when the sun would peek through my windows I’d still be able to call you my best friend.  So, I buried myself in my obsession for Infinite and Iron Man in a desperate hope they’d distract me.  It didn’t work and I felt for the first time the darkness began seeping through every moment I spent with you. 

The last member of the group joined them when they hit the period where boys start noticing girls and in Donghae’s case noticing boys.  Amber had fallen head over heals for the Canadian exchange student and insisted on letting him join the group.  Henry was the final piece of the puzzle.  He was extremely talented he could compose and arrange music, play the piano, violin, sing and dance.  His talent was amazing and it challenged every single member of the group to try there best to improve.

But, back to the boys noticing boys.  It wasn’t long before Donghae realised how was different, he didn’t see girls in the same way he should.   It was safe to say that the first flickers of realisation of his uality occurred on the day Infinite debuted.

It was a warm summers day when Donghae watched Infinite’s debut video Come Back Again.  He was entranced as he sat there, outside the entrance of the school, staring at the screen of his mobile in complete shock.  Everything from there in sync and flawless moves, to the witty MV, which he found himself enthralled at.  Donghae even found himself giggling when he found out it was a dog they were in fact looking for, not a girl as one would presume.  The suits too looked amazing on them.  They were good-looking and- he stopped his thought there. Those were weird thoughts.

“What are you doing weren’t we gonna go to dance practise today?” Eunhyuk said pushing him in the back pulling him out of his fan boy daze.

“But Hyukjae this boy group just debuted and they are like amazing, they can all dance and -”

“Seriously Donghae your love of boy groups is getting out of hand.  I swear you like watching them more than girl groups.”

“I admire their talents.” Donghae pouted. “I want so much one day to be like them.”

“I know, I know and fulfil the dreams that your father always had but never could.  I get it Donghae I really do but you will never get there if we don’t get to dance class.”

“I will if you just watch this with me, I’m serious Hyuk you have to watch them with me.”  But Hyukjae, stubborn as ever refused to watch the group.  Donghae sighed, making a mental note to check them out later properly.  Of course due to Hyukjae’s enthusiasm to get to the studio they arrived early, as usual.  Hyukjae liked showing off before class by free-styling.  Not that Donghae minded he loved to watch his best friend move.  He was so sharp, precise and it was simply perfection.  He couldn’t help but notice how handsome Hyukjae was particularlyhis sharp jaw line and mono-lid eyes.

“Why on earth are you staring at me? You do it every time and frankly it creeps me out a little.” Hyukjae said stopping halfway through his routine.

“You’re really attractive when you dance.” Donghae shrugged. “I like watching.”

“Thanks?”Hyukjae said suspiciously.

“I’m serious you are good at free style.” Donghae pouted.  “I can only dance to choreographed stuff.”

“Well it’s all about feeling the music when you free-style.”  Hyukjae said. “It’s Kyuhyun’s problem too-“

“What’s my problem?” Kyuhyun laughed entering the studio.

“You dance like you’re in some 50s musical, all show hands.” Hyukjae laughed.

“Whatever at least I can sing.  People will be so entranced my voice they won’t even pay attention to the way I move.”

“Wow, someone has an ego-“ Hyukjae snarled.

“Look whose talking.”

“Guys please don’t fight!” Donghae protested. “I just wanna know how to dance freestyle.”  He really did not know why Hyukjae and Kyuhyun always ended up fighting. It annoyed him to bits.  Why couldn’t everyone be friendly?

“Well Donghae as I was saying before Mr Starcraft-”

“Your only y at me cause I kicked your but in star craft.” Kyuhyun interrupted which started another argument.

“Yesungie they are not listening to me what should I do?” Donghae pleaded.

“I don’t know they never listen to me too!” 

“It’s a lost cause- wait ! You have evil eyes technique ~ laser eye them.”

“Huh?” Yesung asked, he simply couldn’t hear his friend over the noise the other two were making.

“ I said use your scary eye technique?” Donghae shouted struggling to even hear himself speak.

“SHUT UP!” Krystal shouted having just entered the room, which immediately fell silent. “Gosh I can’t even hear myself think.”

“The Princess has spoken.” Amber snickered.

“Shut up Amber.”

“Yes my liege.”  The argument forgotten Donghae made his way over to Hyukjae who was currently sulking.

 “In all seriousness Hyukjae how do you dance free style?”

“Well, I don’t know I know when you dance choreographed stuff you dance passionately, so maybe feel that passion when you do free style.”  Hyukjae turned up the music.  “Class doesn’t start for another ten minutes do you want to practise?”

“Yes please.”  The thumping sounds of Justin Timberlake’s y Back blasted and Donghae awkwardly floundered on the dance floor.  He glanced over his shoulder looking jealously as Hyukjae completely owned the floor.  He was completely handsome when he danced, the ways he suddenly became charismatic, transforming from the awkward Hyukjae he knew to this amazingly talented dancer.

“Donghae are you going to dance or watch me again?”

“I really don’t know how-“ Donghae stuttered causing his best friend to sigh dramatically.

“Don’t think of anything just think of the beat.”  Donghae shivered as his best friend placed his hands on his shoulders. 

“Do you feel it?” Hyukjae whispered, causing a shiver to run down Donghae’s back.

“Not really?”

“Don’t think of anything else anything just your heart beat and the music.” How could he concentrate when Hyukjae was standing that close to him? But he did as he was told, wanting nothing than to have Hyukjae praise him.  He found himself moving before he knew it.  It was like something clicked in his brain, the realisation that he wasn’t confined by anyone telling him what to do how to move he could simply dance and be free of no worries of no judgement it was just him.  At one point he became aware of Hyukjae joining him, following the way he moved helping him by moving around him.  Suddenly it was just himself and Hyukjae. He never had so much fun in all his life, never felt so unstressed, free of worries and well happy. 

However the music can’t last forever.  Time seemed to stand still as beat stopped, he found himself staring at Hyukjae. There was an unmistakable spark between them. One single spark that would turn both their worlds upside down, that only Donghae notice.

Donghae tried to work out what happened between himself and Hyukjae.  Desperately he tried to turn the problem in his head. Like how he was admiring Hyukjae’s appearance while he danced.  It went past pure admiration; it was something deeper that he was certain of that.  Also the way he was so conscious he was of Hyukjae at the moment, how close he was to him, how his heart would beat at a 100 mile per hour and the blush that would colour his cheeks whenever Hyukjae complemented him.  It wasn’t just Hyukjae he suddenly became more than merely curious about Infinite.  He found himself researching each of the members watching their performances.  In fact two days later he found himself saving every single picture of each member he could find, join fan cafes and spend his time refreshing Nate for the latest news on them.

“Well Donghae what you up to?” Kyuhyun asked. “It’s not like you to be so antisocial.  Don’t say you’re playing games cause you .”

“Thanks Kyuhyun.” Donghae growled.

“Seriously what on earth are you doing?”

“Kyuhyun I think I have a problem.”

“You’re vertically challenged?”

“No, not that problem another one.”

“Okay?”

“Promise to not tell anyone?”

“I think I’m obsessed with Infinite.”

“Wow I didn’t see that coming.” Kyuhyun rolled his eyes. 

“I think- You promise not to tell Hyukjae this?”

“Promise not to tell Hyukjae what?” Donghae turned around and fell off his chair.

“Can’t you go away monkey head? Donghae and I,” Kyuhyun said whilst helping his friend off the ground. “Are trying to have a deep and meaningful conversation.”

“Well that’s okay since Donghae is my best friend and all it shouldn’t matter.” Hyukjae said narrowing his eyes.

“Well judging by Donghae’s don’t tell Hyukjae this I’m not sure about that.”

“C’mon Donghae you know you can tell me anything right?” Hyukjae said.

“Sure Hyuk I can tell you everything-“ Donghae stuttered.

“The fact you look terrified implies an entirely different thing Donghae.” Yuhyun chuckled.  “Well Donghae you can confide in me I won’t tell Hyukjae since I for one I’m not afraid that I might actually like like you.” Donghae’s eyes widened. What!

“Are you implying your gay Kyuhyun?” Hyukjae spluttered in shock.

“Bi ual actually, why would I let an asset such as myself be unavailable to either gender.”  Donghae gasped how could Kyuhyun just say that so easily.

“Well, I’m sorry I don’t like Donghae in that way we’re just best friends right aren’t we Donghae.”  Hyukjae said wrapping a possessive arm around Donghae’s shoulders.  Donghae couldn’t find it in himself to affirm what Hyukjae said because it was then he realised that Hyukjae was more than merely his best friend, he might also be his first love.

That night Donghae couldn’t sleep, he just kept on thinking about how he felt at that moment of time.  He kept mulling, what happened over in his head. Rather than confront the issue, he began to immerse himself more in Infinite’s world learning their dance from planning on when he could drag people to the music shows.  Fan-boying about something he loved was so much easier than confronting his possible feelings for his best friend. But what really did it for him was watching Iron Man for the 20^th time.  It made him realise three things.  Firstly he was most definitely gay.  Secondly, he was in love with his best friend and Robert Downey Junior.  Thirdly, he had to admit to himself he was developing a crush on his best friend.

This was enough to finally send him into a sobbing mess.  He knew his mother disapproved of homouals and their lifestyle, and he never wanted to disappoint her.  Then there was his father, the person he wanted to prove himself too more than anything else.  Then there was Hyukjae whom was the centre of his universe.  To have him hate him would be disastrous.  It was clear he liked girls the constant fawning over girl groups made that fact certain.  To tell him something like this, as much as he wanted to would meant destroying their friendship something that that he wanted more than anything else. He sobbed into his pillow clutching his chest as he felt his heart throbbing with the raw emotion he felt.

The next morning as the sun rose he decided.  Hyukjae was not to know anything.  Nothing.

Nothings Over

I think about you all day long
In the momentary darkness, I wander and search for you

Acceptance.  It’s a weird thing isn’t it Hyukjae? Everyone wants to be accepted, to be loved and protected.  Everyone wants a person to be with. I honestly thought when I found out I was gay that our friendship was over.  What a silly thought in hindsight.  How could I forget your promise to me when I was 5 that you would never leave me for someone ‘cooler’.  I just hope you don’t feel bound by that promise.  That’s it’s not obligatory for you to stand by my side.  But here you are to this day standing by me, protecting me, cheering me up and accepting me for who I am.  I just wish that one day you’d fall for me too. 

From this moment he tried to avoid his best friend like the plague.  Suddenly, what used to be a simple call to Hyukjae was nerve wracking, what would he say to him?  What if he said something that made the older boy hate him?  That continued until one day he had made himself so sick with worry he was left at home.

“Donghae are you okay you’ve been out of sorts?” Amber said by his bed side.

“Nothing Amber.”  But his mind screamed the contrary.  He was on the point of exhaustion and he felt he didn’t even have control over what

“Something obviously is bothering, Hyukjae has asked me himself why are you avoiding him lately.”

“It’s not him well it is it’s a bit hard to explain.”

“Donghae you’re not making sense.”

“Amber how do you know when you’re in love?”

 “I guess you just want to be around them all the time, your heart beats faster, and you’ve certainly been watching enough dramas to know the signs Donghae.”

“I think- Amber would it you say, if I felt something about Hyukjae that I don’t think anyone would like but I don’t even know.”  Donghae sobbed hiding his face under the blankets.

“Are you trying to tell me you’ve been crushing on Hyukjae?”  Amber said pulling down the blankets with a concerned look on her face. Donghae nodded slowly shutting his eyes not wanting to see her reaction.

“Well it makes sense.  It honestly does I suspected something.”  Donghae burst out in tears.  Amber brushed his hair out of his face soothingly.

“Get up you olf so I can hug you.”  She smiled and Donghae didn’t wait a second to collapse into her arms and cry his little heart out.

“This is bad right?” He said when the tears had ran out.

“I don’t necessarily think it is Donghae.  I mean mum doesn’t seem to keen on homouals.  I have no problems but it’s probably best to keep it between us for now.”  The two of them sat there, for how long Donghae didn’t know but it was nice that he had let his sister in.

Life was a little easier then, he met Ryeowook a fellow Infinite fan boy from the other local school.  To say they hit it off is putting it lightly soon Donghae found himself texting Ryeowook none stop, taking turns at updating each other with exciting news.  He finally had a buddy to go out to music shows with when he didn’t have practice.  He was kind of happy.  He would be completely happy if Hyukjae stopped bgging him about why he was so distant.  Luckily for him now he had Amber to help him fend off Hyukjae’s attempts to pry answers from him.

“Donghae what girls do you like?” Hyukjae asked him one day early on Saturday morning.  Donghaefrowned, a little annoyed that Hykjae was destroying his one day available to see Infinite perform Nothings Over live.   Not only that Amber wasn’t awake to conveniently help him change the topic. 

“Huh? None really.” Donghae shrugged.

“C’mon don’t be shy I’ll tell you my crush.”

“Well if I don’t tell you mine you don’t have to tell me yours.” Donghae simply didn’t want to hear it at all.

“That means you do have one.”

“I don’t really don’t I swear on Hoya’s life.”

“Geeze you don’t tell me anything these days.”  Hyukjae pouted. “I thought the reason you didn’t like me is because you liked Mi-Sun too!”

“Don’t pout it makes you look like a fat monkey.” Donghae laughed causing his best friend to scowl at him.  “I just don’t see that as a priority now I guess.  I’ve got my fanboying.”

“Oh yes Infinite.” Hyukjae chuckled. “You lovely Hyungs that you seem to adore more than me these days.”

“It’s not like that! I just am studying them cause I think they are amazing.”

“Whatever I’m not sure if I like their song Nothings Over.”

“BLASPHEMY ! DISHONOUR I DON’T KNOW YOU ANYMORE ! IT’S PERFECTION!” Donghae shouted shaking Hyukjae, outraged that his best friend would even have the gall to say that to his face.

“I don’t know, the lyrics just seem a bit clingy.  If a girl wants it to be over, it’s over.”

“You would never fight for the one you love?”

“Well I would respect her decision whatever it maybe. But I don’t know there is no such thing as true love.”

“How can you say that!” Donghae said angrily.

“I don’t know then why do people divorce.”

“Stupid Hyukjae, there is such a thing if you believe in it.”

“So you believe?”

“Yes I do.” Donghae nodded.  “I also believe that waiting for someone you truly love is worth it.”

“What makes you say that?”

“Nothing, I’ve gotta go I’ve got to get to the prerecording, Ryeowook said he’d hold my spot but still gotta go.”

“Wait so your going to ditch me for Infinite.”

“Pretty much.”

“Who on earth is Ryeowook? You seem to bring him up all the time who even is he.”

“My fan-boy friend.  I’ve got to go Hyuk-“

“Wait! I came over because I wanted to talk to you about stuff and your going?”

“I’ll talk to you later I can’t watch Infinite’s come back performance later.” Donghae growled.  He didn’t really like where the topic of conversation was going.

  Eunhyuk grabbed his arm in a dramtic scene out of a drama moment.

“Not until you tell me why you have been avoiding me!”

“Hyukjae let me go.”

“No. You’re my best friend I’m not.”

“It’s not something you’d understand it’ll ruin everything.”

“Our friendship? I don’t know Hae as soon as you walk out that door it’ll be ruined so damn fricken well tell me!”

“I can’t!”

“Whatever, you go to your friend and say that stuff.  Whatever.” Hyukjae said and Donghae was shocked to see tears come to his eyes.

“Hyukjae it’s me. Not you! HOW AM I MEANT TO TELL YOU I’M GAY!” He slammed down in frustration before covering up his mouth in shock.

He had said it.

That’s it.

Life over.

“You’re gay?” Hyukjae said his mouth gaping. Donghae felt the tears stream down his face. “Why are you crying.” Hyukjae smiled lifting a hand and wiping the tears off his face. “Well I kinda guess your obsession for Robert Downey Junior and Infinite seemed a little strange”

“You don’t mind?” Donghae whimpered.

“Of course not silly, you’re my best friend why the hell do you think this changes anything?” He said smiling Donghae’s favourite gummy smile. 

Can You Smile

And, can you smile
You want this
You hope for this
I can't seem to have you with only my heart

Hyukjae, I know you don’t like the rain, it messes up your hair and means you can’t enjoy our few precious moments out in the sun.  But I love the rain.  Rain means I can stand under the same umbrella with you because Amber always forgets hers.  I love rain because every time it does it reminds me of you insisting that I have to stand that little bit closer to you so I don’t get wet.  These are my happiest moments but it isn’t my happiest moment.  My happiest moment? It was meant to be my darkest moment in my life.  But somehow because of you it wasn’t.  I wish I could tell you what it was.  Do you remember when that girl rejected you and you were down? How I sung ‘Can You Smile’ for you, well I more like force this song upon you, before you realised I was in fact gay?  How you said it was weird I liked Infinite a much as I did?  Yet you smiled as I sang it for you laughing through the tears.  Who knew that one day you’d return the favour? You’d sing my favourite rainy day song.

Amber sighed as she sat on the desk.  “Honestly Hoya isn’t the best looking member of infinite, I think L is.”

“No way! Yes L is handsome but he doesn’t have Hoya’s charm and talent.  He’s like perfect.”

“I’ve never really got you taste in men anyway.  Man sometimes I swear you fail at being gay.” Amber laughed.

“Why would you ay it that loud, what if...” Donghae stopped as he turned around “Oh! Hi mum!”  Donghaw panicked when he saw his mother behind him.  He hoped she wouldn’t read too much into the conversation.

“What did you just say Amber?” She said her eyes had a scary flash to them as she ignored Donghae completely.

“I never got Donghae’s taste in his bias in Infinite.” His sister muttered.  “Nothing important.”

“That’s definitely not what I heard.  Lee Donghae don’t tell me you are one of those people.”

“What do you mean mum?” I stuttered, my brain was suddenly screaming at me.  What had just happened?

“I should of known all these posters, the dancing the music and the sudden interest in fashion.”  She gritted her teeth and pulled a poster down from the wall.

“Mum what are you doing!” Amber screaming.

“Amber your brother is sick you need to help me get him better.” She screamed tearing another poster off the wall in her rage.  Donghae just sat there frozen, beyond shocked.

“He’s not sick, so what if he likes men?” Amber yelled back.

“You don’t see the problem with this Amber?  This, is appalling how is he meant to have a family? It’s unnatural! Lee Donghae you don’t deserve our love!” Their mother screamed.  “You’re father would be so disappointed in you Lee Donghae!”  Donghae suddenly burst out in tears.  That was his worst fear.  His worst fear. 

“Mother you take that back right now and stop it!” Amber screamed.

“Amber if you’re going to support your brother in this I want you out of the house, right now!”

“Ok! FINE I’M LEAVING.  C’mon Donghae lets go.” Amber screamed, visibly shaking from anger.

“But Amber-“ Donghae protested amidst sobs.

“No buts Lee Donghae I’m not letting you change even if it’s at the hands of our own mother.  No matter what even if you like alien you have a right to it.”

“Amber you take one step out of this house I’m not letting you in anymore.”

“Good!  Wouldn’t want to associate with you anyway.” Amber shouted back, dragging Donghae out the room and out the house.

“Amber Amber where are we going to go?”

“Well I guess we have to go to Hyukjae’s and Krystal’s house and go from there.  We can spend the night over there or something.” Doghae didn’t remember much of the trip to Hyukjae’s just pain, worry and self-loathing.  It wasn’t until Amber actualy slapped him on the cheek or something when they reached Hyukjae’s house he registered what exactly was going on.

“I’ll leave it to you Hyukjae, I need to organise things with Krystal we can’t stay here, it won’t be long before mum finds us.”  Amber left storming out of the room screaming for the ‘princess’.

“Donghae what’s wrong.”  Hyukjae whispered leading the inconsolable Donghae to the bed to sit down.

“Mum- Sh found out.”

“About?”

“That I’m –g-g-“

“I get it.” Hyukjae said somehow understanding the mess of words coming out of Donghae’s mouth..

 “Shhh Donghae everything is going to be okay.” Hyukjae gushed rubbing his back comfortingly.  But Donghae couldn’t stop the tears the painful tightness in his chest.  Stupid Hyukjae for making me realise he was in love with him.  Stupid idiot Hyukjae who remained obvlious.  Stupid heart for being different. Why couldn’t it be like other boys hearts and love like normal people.  Why couldn’t it love girls like normal boys Why.  Why couldn’t his mother love him because his heart was different.  Those thoughts consumed him as he sobbed into Hyukjae’s shirt.   It wasn’t normal crying the sobs ripped through his chest in gasps of pain.  It was to the point Hyukjae.

“Hyukjae am I natural am I disgusting will my dad really be disappointed in me.”  Donghae sobbed into his best friend’s chest.

“Shhh, I know your dad he will always love you.  Your mum is just a little confused at the moment.  She’ll come around it must be a bit of a shock to her, it’s okay.”  Hyukjae tried to comfort him but tears were b in his eyes too at the site of his friend so broken.  So lost and insecure.

“Donghae? Is he okay?” Hyukjae’s mother came in the room with tea.

“Mum?” Hykjae motioned to his crying friend.

“I just got the call from his mum, Donghae dear you are welcome to stay here until she calms down.”

“But am I not unnatural?” Donghae sobbed.

“You’re not Donghae, your mum is just a bit hateful towards gay men.”

“Why?”

“Well she really liked a guy in college who turned out to be gay but it’s best to keep this a secret from your father Hyukjae he isn’t too keen on the idea either.”

“What do you mean?  Would he really hate Donghae? He’s known him all his life!”

“Better to be safe then sorry at the moment.”  However, no sooner had his mother said that the door slammed shut.

“I can’t believe her!”

“Who dear.”

“Your best friend just told me to fricken kick Donghae out of our house and force him to come back home. Care to explain.”

“Dear, Donghae’s not feelin-”

“I don’t care tell me what the frick is going on!”

“Please dear.” Hyukjae’s mum begged.

“Donghae tell me what’s going on.”  Hyukjae’s dad insisted.

“I’m-I’m gay sir.”  Hyukjae’s father looked shocked. 

“How long have you known this?”

“For certain? For about 6 months or so sir.”  Hyukjae’s father took a deep breath out.

“Donghae stay here, until this issue is sorted out.”

“P-p-ardon? I thought you didn’t like people-“

“Donghae your like a second son to me you think I’d let that get in the way?”  He smiled. “If your family take this out on you your welcome to stay here, even if your mother doesn’t talk to us for the rest of her life I’m not leaving you without a place to say just because you’re a little different.” He shut the door and Hyukjae’s mother quickly followed him out.  Donghae breathed and suddenly he broke down.  There was so much emotional pressure.  So much stress.  Just it was too much.

“Donghae Donghae are you okay.”

“Just having – a bit” he gasped. “of a panic attack, gie me a few seconds.” He sobbed in the corner. 

“Donghae, calm down please.”

“Hykjae my dad.  My dad.  I can’t- disappoint him.”

“Donghae shhh, let’s not think about that right now you’re making yourself sick.” Hyukjae desperately hoped o find something, anything to distract Donghae.  “Hey, Donghae you know how you always sing that song for me when I’m down.”

“Hyuk how is that even relevant.”

“Give me a second, I can’t sing but I think I can rap.”

“Don’t be stupid Hyuk you don’t have to sing it-“ Hyukjae didn’t sing he merely started from the rap of ‘Can you Smile’. 

Donghae looked at his friend as tears streamed down his face as he tried to gain composure.  Soon Donghae found silent tears streaming down his face touched beyond belief.  Then to his continued shock Hyukjae began singing, granted he couldn’t sing well but still.  Hyukjae was singing to him.

“How do you know the lyrics?” Donghae said through his sniffles.

“It’s your favourite song on a rainy day I don’t know, I guess it became my favourite rainy day song.” Hyukjae said pulling him into a hug.  “Donghae I can’t imagine what your going through but I’ll always be here for you.  Always.  Unlike that song even if it makes you unhappy I’ll stick with you.

“Why?”

“Because you’re my favourite person.” Hyukjae smiled.  But before Donghae could even question what Hyukjae meant by that his phone rang.

“It’s dad.” Donghae said.

“Answer it Donghae, he’s probably worried.”

“What if Dad says he doesn’t want me too.  What if he tells me he wants to fix me Hyukjae what`”

“Donghae, it’s okay, I’ll be here for you.” He said holding out the phone.

“Dad?” Donghae whimpered.

“Doghae where are you are you okay?” His dad panicked.

“I’m-I’m at Hyukjae’s”

“Thank goodness you are okay after what your mother told me I feared the worst-“

“She told you, she told you. I’m sorry dad I’m sorry.” He sobbed into the phone.

“Shhh Donghae it’s okay, don’t be sorry no matter what I love you.”

“What about mum?”

“I’m divorcing your mother.  I she can’t even accept my own son I don’t want anything to do with her. Donghae, please come back home, please.”  Donghae dropped his phone in shock.

“What’s up Donghae.”

“My parents are getting divorced.” He sobbed into his best friend shoulder.

“Donghae everything will be okay.”

“Donghae can’t you cheer up.”  Eunhyuk frowned.  “I’ll do anything for you.  Anything.  Consider it an early Christmas present.”

“Hyukjae it’s okay I’m okay you don’t have to be with me at the moment`”

“Anything! I’ll go to all of infinites concerts with you.”

“Then can you help me form an infinite cover group.” Donghae smiled as the sound of rain fell outside.

The stars lit up the sky,
the moon shone,
and you went steadily down your path
stars and the night are coming,
they’re only covered by other stars
the moon always stay there
i’ll always be here for you want you

.

And, can you smile?
i want to take,
i want to hold on
because you can only be happy
once you leave my side.
and, can you smile?
i said to go,
i said i’m okay
seems like i can give nothing
but this to you at the end”

Cr: http://irena040506.wordpress.com/2011/05/14/infinite-can-you-smile-lyrics-translation/

Author's NT

Well that was eventful XD Actually this is a cut down version 'Be Mine' was also meant to be in this chapter... so it looks like this story is going to be longer than I orginially aticipated ^^ 

Hope you enjoyed it ~ let me know what you think ~ KyuSung/Henber will start happening next chapter