Happiness

(pt2)

Tiffany was fascinated by everything Taeyeon did.

If she thought the girl was adorable before, she now thought 100 times more so.

She watched as Taeyeon carefully walked around the dogs as if they were made of porcelain while she listened to her friend talk.

"Gosh, don't you just think she's the most adorable thing on this planet?" she asked the girl on the other side of the table.

"I think you'd take my head off if I did but yeah, she's cute. Were you even listening to anything I was saying by the way?"

"Oh. Sorry, she's just... so distracting," Tiffany sighed.

It's been a while since she liked someone to this extent, and her friend luckily understood that, although the puppies were cute, the number one purpose of this visit was so that Tiffany could get closer to her crush and possibly make a move.

So she left a little early on purpose to give Tiffany a chance to talk to Taeyeon.

Closing time was a bit too busy with all the dogs though so Tiffany ended up having to wait outside for quite a while before Taeyeon came out with one of her colleagues.

She jumped a little when she turned around and saw Tiffany standing by the doorway.

"Tiffany!" she held her heart. "You scared me a little."

"Sorry."

"No, I just didn't know you were waiting here... Did you forget something?"

Tiffany glanced at the woman next to Taeyeon.

"Um. No." She lowered her voice. "I just wanted to talk to you for a bit."

"Oh."

"I'll just go ahead then," the other woman politely interrupted. "Goodnight you two!"

"Goodnight," the two echoed.

Tiffany laughed as she turned her gaze back at Taeyeon.

"I'm sorry for scaring you just now."

"It's okay... I get easily scared sometimes," Taeyeon  said as she started to lock the door behind them.

"I could see that," Tiffany chuckled. "You told me you weren't scared of dogs anymore, but you still seemed overly careful around them for some reason."

"Well, I didn't say I wasn't scared at all. Just... not as much as before."

"I really liked this place," Tiffany said as they started walking towards the subway station. "I think I might come here more often if I can."

"Well, you can come anytime. Not just when I'm here, you're always welcome."

"But I liked watching you play with them."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah, you were so cute."

"Thanks," Taeyeon turned her eyes on her shoes, smiling.

Tiffany's been looking out for signs to say that Taeyeon liked her, and among others, moments like these, when Taeyeon got all shy and embarrassed about getting complimented, were definitely a regular occurance.

As for her preference, Tiffany assumed the girl was still figuring it out or at least still deep in the closet. It wouldn't have been strange at all, considering where she came from. But she's been suspecting for a while now that Taeyeon had more than just platonic feelings for her judging from some of the things she said and the way she reacted to Tiffany.

As she watched Taeyeon's reddened cheeks, Tiffany decided it was time to put her theory to test.

"I was wondering," she started with a pounding heart, "you know, sometime, when you're not busy... would you like to go out with me?"

Taeyeon looked at Tiffany curiously.

"Like for a movie and dinner or something?" Tiffany clarified.

"Oh." Taeyeon replied, surprised. "Um, yeah," she said as she returned her gaze on her shoes, a wide smile gradually forming on her face again. "I'd love to."

"Great."

There was a moment of silence in which both girls savored the moment, smiling ear-to-ear, before Taeyeon spoke up again.

"So what movie should we watch?"

They talked on the way to the subway station, and Tiffany only hesitated for a moment before she decided to hold Taeyeon's hand for the first time.

She felt so excited that night, she barely even slept, and now that they exchanged numbers, her first thing to do in the morning was to message the girl saying how she couldn't wait to see her again.

*

Their first date went wonderfully, and so did their second, third and fourth according to Tiffany. Taeyeon seemed gradually less and less shy about Tiffany's compliments and started to get into the habit of doing the same in exchange which made Tiffany's heart do all kinds of crazy things in joy.

They also met more often outside of their dates now. Tiffany regularly visited Taeyeon at both of her workplaces, even if it was only to exchange a few words in the short time that they had. It was worth it because she could see how much Taeyeon appreciated it each and every time.

During this period, they've gotten to know each other on a deeper level, and Tiffany loved everything she learned about Taeyeon (well, maybe except for the fact that she didn't like pink), even though there were certain things she could feel Taeyeon still wasn't quite ready to talk about.

It's become clearer now that Taeyeon's mood swings, that Tiffany originally attributed mostly to work, were probably due to something more personal. It seemed to Tiffany as though it was related to her family, and she herself knew from experience how much of a sensitive topic that could be, so she understood if Taeyeon needed to take her time.

Despite this barrier, though, that was yet to be broken, they have gotten very comfortable with each other, and Tiffany felt a kind of happiness she hasn't in a long time.

She usually considered herself to be a pretty cheerful person anyway, but happiness did not always come along with it, no matter how positive she tried to think about things, or how much she did her best and tried to smile. Right now, though, she truly felt grateful for every single moment in her life, and like she was making Taeyeon feel similarly happy as Taeyeon was making her - even on the bad days.

Life seemed almost perfect to her now. The only thing she was still missing was making it official with Taeyeon.

She planned ahead for their next date, which would make it the fifth, and made it so that they could be in private. She even decided on the day based on the fact that they were both free the next day - just in case everything went better than expected, and Taeyeon would stay for the night.

They were just talking about music one day when the idea came up.

"Oh, my gosh Taeyeon, have you seen Moulin Rouge before?"

"No? Is it a movie?"

"Yeah, you've never heard about it?"

"No. It sounds foreign though."

"Well, the title is French but it's an American movie... Well, kind of. We should watch it together some time, I think you'll love the music."

"Oh, is it in movie theatres now?"

Tiffany laughed. She found it funny how clueless Taeyeon could be sometimes.

"No, it came out like over a decade ago. But we can watch it at my place sometime if you want."

"Sure."

"You're going to love it! It's one of the best movies ever!"

And so it was that the two were now huddled up on Tiffany's couch in her living room, hand in hand in the dimly lit place, with Taeyeon resting her head on Tiffany's shoulder.

Tiffany was overwhelmed with feelings.

Taeyeon's hair felt so soft against her neck, and her breathing sounded so calm... Tiffany kept playing with her hands which were also soft and small, and Taeyeon eventually sank more into her neck, to the point where Tiffany could feel her breath on her chest.

"Taeyeon...?" she called out unintentionally, quietly, when she felt like she couldn't take it anymore.

Taeyeon moved and looked up at her slowly, her eyes droopy with sleepiness. The sight was making Tiffany's heart beat even harder, and when Taeyeon her lips, she leaned in.

Before their lips could have touched though, Taeyeon suddenly jumped back, alert, to the opposite end of the couch and looked at Tiffany like she's just seen a ghost.

"What-- what are you doing?!" she frowned.

Tiffany's brain went blank, and suddenly, her heart was filled with dread.

"Is-- I'm sorry, was it too soon?" she asked carefully.

"What are you talking about?" Taeyeon stared at her incredulously.

'Oh no. Oh no no no no no.'

Tiffany felt like crying.

"I thought... I thought you liked me back?"

"What? But I do like you..."

"Then..." Tiffany didn't get what Taeyeon was doing now. She was so confused. "Then what's wrong."

"Well weren't you trying to... you know, kiss me?"

"Yeah?"

"Why?"

"I just told you. Because I like you."

Taeyeon frowned again.

The movie was still playing, and it was starting to get distracting, so Tiffany quickly paused it in frustration.

"As in, you know..." She suddenly didn't know how to explain without mortally embarrassing herself. She sighed. "I thought you agreed to come on dates with me because you also wanted for us to maybe, be together. As in, a couple."

"Wait, I-- I agreed on a date?"

'Wow. Really?'

"Yes! I asked you clearly if you would like to go out with me. And I told you before that I'm bi. I thought it was obvious."

"I'm... I'm sorry, I didn't really realize... And I still don't quite understand this 'bi' thing."

"What do you mean?"

Taeyeon had a pained expression on her face.

"Like, I don't really understand the word...?"

Tiffany was stunned. She knew Taeyeon grew up a little sheltered and all, and it wasn't uncommon that Koreans didn't know the word but still...

"I told you, it means I like guys and girls, too. And I said I had a girlfriend before."

"I didn't... I just thought I misunderstood something. I didn't think you meant it that way. I just... I always thought that that sort of thing can only happen between a man and a woman."

'WHAT?'

"Have you never heard of lesbians?" Taeyeon shook her head. "Gay?" Another shake of the head. "Homoual?"

"Isn't that like... an American disease?"

Wow. Tiffany knew Taeyeon was kind of naive sometimes, but she didn't expect it to be to this extent. Was she living in a bubble or something?

"How... how come you've never ever heard about something like that?" Tiffany asked, a little bit calmer now because at least Taeyeon didn't seem to hate her, but