Note/advice: Some of you may want to stop reading this story around the middle. Think again.

Need

Tiffany liked to believe that she was an independent, strong, self-reliant woman. She was always one to make courageous moves and big changes in her life. She took on great challenges and was always determined to succeed - though not afraid of failure. She worked hard, thought positive and even through tough times, trusted God to take care of her.

At 25 years of age, she was fairly sure that, although she was loved and supported by many around her, she could do well on her own, no matter what.

However, all that has changed in the past year since she's known Taeyeon.

Tiffany stared at the piles of paper in front of her, pink marker in hand as she tried her best to focus.

She couldn't.

Taeyeon was on her mind again. Where she was right now, what she was doing, who she was with - Taeyeon, Taeyeon, Taeyeon.

She slammed her marker down on top of her papers as she hesitated to reach for her phone.

'No, Tiffany,' she scolded herself. 'Only one day left now. You can do this. You can do--

Aaaaaaand you failed.'

Tiffany checked her notifications on her phone.

It's been 6 days now since she's received anything from, or sent anything to Taeyeon.

It was Tiffany's request to do so as she had several important exams coming up and assignments to finish, which she was already way behind with due to the fact that during the semester, she kept putting off her duties just so she could spend more time together with Taeyeon.

That was her problem.

She felt like her happiness, as well as her sanity, now depended on how much time she was able to spend with the other girl, and that if she didn't have her, she would be lost in this world somehow.

And yet, this was the same reason that, as she put her phone away again and tried to go back to studying, she briefly considered whether she'd be better off if she never even met Taeyeon in the first place.

Maybe some things would be easier.

Like, right now, she wouldn't be thinking constantly about the other girl, not being able to concentrate on something that will hugely determine her future and her lifelong dream to become a lawyer.

It was a little scary how much Tiffany emotionally depended on Taeyeon and Taeyeon solely, and vice versa. But the idea that she wouldn't have ever known this wonderful person, and never would've experienced all the amazing things that she did thanks to her was even scarier.

There was a reason why she became so emotionally reliant on Taeyeon.

She was the most caring, loving and supportive person she's ever met. She was her opposite in so many aspects that Taeyeon somehow made up for what Tiffany was lacking. They truly, really complemented one another because, while they may have been different in many ways, when it came to things that really mattered, they shared the same views and ideas. And most importantly, they shared the same feelings which led to Taeyeon becoming not only Tiffany's best friend and confidant but her soulmate, too.

So the thought of not having her by her side ended up running through Tiffany's mind only for a brief second before she felt her heart wrench just at the idea and missed Taeyeon even more.

'Just one day. One more day,' she told herself.

She didn't know anymore whether she spent any less time occupied with thoughts about Taeyeon instead of studying than she would have if she didn't 'restrict' their contact to zero.

Realistically speaking, she probably did, but it felt so not worth it now when she still didn't feel fully prepared for her exams even after making such a sacrifice.

Looking back at her 26 years, she's probably accomplished more than the average girl would, but it still seemed as though the past week has been her biggest challenge yet - even though she's managed just fine for 25 years without the other girl, and now, she only had to do so for a week.

But when she looked back at those times, everything felt a little off, like something was missing without her knowing at the time.

At exactly 2:04 AM, Tiffany's phone lit up.

The girl was already nearly falling asleep by now, but she had to stay awake for the night to finish everything up. She took a sip of her energy drink once more before quickly glancing at her phone, which was still lit up, and her heart suddenly gave a violent throb.

Maybe it was partly all the caffeine she consumed in the past couple of days but she felt like her heart might fall out of its place as she saw the profile picture of the sender.

She couldn't stop herself from reading it rightaway.

taeyeon [ Hey I'm sorry to be bothering you rn

Are you done with studying..?

I have sth to tell you ]

Tiffany's heart broke as she typed a reply.

tiffany [ Taeyeon-ah ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

I miss you so much ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ

And can't wait to talk to you again ♥

But is it really urgent?

Or can it just wait till 1pm tomorrow? ㅠㅠ ]

taeyeon [ I guess ]

She felt like something was off with Taeyeon's replies and the fact that she contacted her at such a time. She was a little worried now, but she was hoping it couldn't be anything that bad or Taeyeon would have called her or told her straightaway.

tiffany [ I'M SO SORRY ] She still felt guilty though.

tiffany [ I'm dying here but I'm so close to finishing now 3 ]

taeyeon [ It's okay

Tomorrow then

Fighting♥ ]

*

Tomorrow finally came, and Tiffany was on her way to Taeyeon's place as soon as she could leave.

Once there, as Taeyeon opened the door, Tiffany was welcomed by a sorry sight. The girl looked pale, thin, her hair dry, face sunken, and she was wearing pajamas even though it was well in the afternoon already.

Tiffany's heart wrenched again at the view as she entered the tiny apartment. Even that somehow looked different after not seeing it for over a week.

Maybe it was due to the fact that everything was such a mess. It was unlike Taeyeon to leave her place like that... It felt dirty, and the weirdest, most random items were lying around in the house.

When she saw a needle somewhere amongst the trash, her heart stopped.

She was suddenly overwhelmed with dread and realized how tense the atmosphere was between the two of them. Taeyeon has barely even spoken a word since she got there.

'Was Taeyeon on drugs now?' she thought. 'What the hell happened in the week we spent apart?'

Taeyeon sat her down in the kitchen and looked at her.

Whatever she had to say, Tiffany was scared to hear it with the way Taeyeon's sunken eyes filled up with tears.

Tiffany reached out shakily and held Taeyeon's hand on the girl's lap.

Even her hand felt different. Bony and dry.

Something was terribly, terribly wrong.

"Tiffany..." Taeyeon croaked, unable to hold the girl's gaze. "I'm going to die."

Tiffany's world shook.

Taeyeon started sobbing uncontrollably, and Tiffany realized her whole arm and body trembled violently as her heart squeezed. Her mind felt heavy and yet blank, empty, like there was a still storm in her head.

Taeyeon had a brain tumor.

It was not looking good at all.

Tiffany felt like she was going crazy, trying to figure out what she could do, what she should do, what she should have done, and why this was happening.

'How long has Taeyeon got to live?

How much time do we have left?

What can I do? What can I do? What can I do?'

Tiffany's mind kept repeating. She was so afraid of what was about to come, it made no sense, it couldn't be true, it couldn't be her, she was Taeyeon, why... why her???

'What can I do?'

"Can I be selfish," Taeyeon asked weakly as her tears ran out, still clutching onto Tiffany's hand, "and ask you to stay by my side..? I'm so, so scared," she whispered.

Tiffany held her tight and said, "I'll never leave you, Taeyeon, I can't-- I can't be without you, you can't leave me, okay? You have to stay with me."

A part of them both died inside, knowing that Tiffany was asking for the impossible.

Taeyeon was told she likely had less than 12 months to live.

Tiffany couldn't stand watching Taeyeon so hurt anymore.

Taeyeon felt the same way, knowing that she was the one causing Tiffany so much pain and hardship in her life. Since the first time Taeyeon asked her to stay with her, Taeyeon tried to push her away several times, saying Tiffany will be happier without her, and that she couldn't take how she was ruining the other girl's life.

Tiffany's determination only became stronger whenever Taeyeon did that.

She felt like going insane, seeing Taeyeon suffering and going through all this pain, all these treatments, and getting emotionally and mentally wrecked as she tried to cope with the fact that her days were numbered, and she was never going to be able to do all the things that she dreamt of.

Tiffany could no longer think about the future, not at all. It was as if her mind had erased all activity in that part of her brain.

There was only today, only right now, only this moment.

The future was too scary and everything was so uncertain.

But the extent of Taeyeon's love for her made any uncertainties in her mind disappear.

She had to stay by her side.

It wasn't a choice. It was a need.

Tiffany entered Taeyeon's apartment and she realized how unusually tidy it was now, and how it smelled strongly of disinfectant. Looking around, the pale blue walls, white bedsheets everywhere, it surely reminded her of a wicked, nightmarish hospital.

She suddenly saw Taeyeon lying on the floor.

"Taeyeon!" she screamed, heart going mad as the worst of the worst ran through her mind.

Someone grabbed her shoulders and pulled her back as she was about to kneel down to her, crying. She ripped her arms away, falling onto Taeyeon's body and started to shake the girl while the man behind her spoke, and she could barely register anything he was saying, except for the word 'euthanasia.'

'T