Kyungsoo’s vision blanked out for a second and in that second, for an unknown reason, he prayed that it wasn’t Tao standing by Luhan’s bedside. His prayers as usual of late were left unanswered; Tao was seemingly just as shocked as he was, if not more. The weird haze surrounding Kyungsoo’s head lifted, giving him a moment of unwanted clarity and a slap of harsh reality. His eyes darted to the still Luhan before lifting up to Tao, Luhan was the reason. The reason Tao was in Korea. The name whispered at night, the unexplained afternoon disappearances, the person Kyungsoo would finally loose Tao to.  His heart gave a painful lurch stalling his breath, Kai moved closer on instinct.

“Do you know Luhan?” Kyungsoo repeated slowly after regaining his breath, Tao nodded cautiously noting the other’s unease.

“Do you know him?” Tao wondered more than asked, trying to place where Kyungsoo could have met Luhan, his thoughtful eyes flickered to Kai before widening. He turned to Kyungsoo, the hope in his eyes making the other take a step back into Kai, the latter stumbling back slightly.

“Is he- did you see-“ Kyungsoo fled before Tao could finish his sentence. The door flapped loudly at his hasty exit,

“Kyungsoo!” Tao rushed forward in panic only to get his path blocked by a scowling Kai,

“Don’t go after him,”

“Stay out of this,” Tao hissed hands coming up to shove Kai out of his way, Kai shoved him back just as hard taking him by surprise. Tao lifted his fist angrily-

“Wait for him to come to you,” Kai said halting Tao’s movements, he took a step back glancing at Luhan’s still form uneasily before leaving to search for Kyungsoo.

  Kai glanced at his watch muttering a curse, he had to leave in an hour or his parents would flip. He quickened his pace as he rounded a corner carelessly knocking into someone. They both toppled to the ground, Kai let out a groan slightly winded, he sat up slowly before offering his help to the dazed person he bowled over in his haste. He glanced at the name tag attached to the uniform.

“Kim Minseok shi,” the intern Kyungsoo spoke to yesterday, his mind supplied helpfully,  “I’m sorry I was in a rush… are you okay?” the intern didn’t reply eyes trained on the ground, Kai’s brows furrowed. He studied the man from head to toe noting nothing was amiss physically, he stood up helping Minseok to his feet,

“Do you need to see someone? Did you knock your head on the floor?” Minseok blinked eyes unfocused,

“No,” he answered voice hallow, Kai frowned as a shiver ran up his spine,

“Are you sure?”

Minseok nodded pulling away from Kai,

“I’m fine,” he continued in the same tone before walking off, Kai watched him leave before realizing he still had to search for Kyungsoo.

 He ran to the elevators guessing where Kyungsoo went to hide, the boy in all his predictability was in the therapeutic garden. Small figure crouched under a tree, forehead resting against the bark as he muttered to himself. Kai shook his head as he approached.

“What was that about?” he asked startling Kyungsoo who looked up at him eyes b with tears,

“Kai,” he whimpered, Kai grimaced at the familiar pathetic sight reluctantly crouching down beside Kyungsoo patting his back awkwardly. He could guess why the other was in such a state.

“It’ll be fine, Tao really cares for you. You’d be an idiot to not realize that-“

“It’s not that-“ Kyungsoo cut in sounding exasperated, Kai drew back at the sudden anger in Kyungsoo’s eyes, “I’m angry,” he admitted ashamed, fingers curling into fists at his sides.

“At Tao?” Kyungsoo shook his head.

“At myself… for a moment I wished that Luhan wouldn’t wake up, so I’d have Tao all to myself. I don’t want him to wake up and take Tao away from me…” a tear ran down his face, “what have I become?” he whispered falling back onto his , strength in his legs drained. Kai sat down stumped,

“It’s perfectly fine,” he told Kyungsoo finally after a beat of silence,

“How is it fine?” Kyungsoo asked uncomprehending of Kai’s words, Kai avoided Kyungsoo’s eyes looking off into the distance, face stoic and unreadable.

“It’s human, it’s okay to hate… we’re not angels, we- we’re not meant to be perfect,” the younger of the two paused before repeating his last words to himself. Kyungsoo wiped his tears away looking at Kai with sudden concern, his own problems momentarily forgotten. The boy looked dazed,

“Kai… are you-“ Kai stood up unheeding to Kyungsoo’s words, Kyungsoo watched bewildered as he left muttering the line to himself repeatedly. The doors shut behind the muttering boy leaving Kyungsoo in daunting silence. He stood up brushing the dirt off his pants, the heat was making his head start to throb and this time there was no one around to help him if he fainted. He shuffled to the elevator reluctantly and pressed the button. The doors opened with a loud ding, Kyungsoo took a step back surprised at the occupant. Tao extended his hand, eyes pleading.

“Please, talk to me.”

Kyungsoo stared at the offered hand watching with dread at how it shook for a few seconds before accepting it. Kyungsoo curled his fingers around Tao’s pulling him wordlessly back into the lift. The walk to Kyungsoo’s room was silent, Tao fidgeted every few seconds eyes darting to Kyungsoo’s figure unsure of what to say.

“Luhan,” Kyungsoo said breaking the silence as they entered the room, Tao’s eyes lifted to Kyungsoo’s face as he sat on his bed.

“Tell me about Luhan,” Tao frowned sitting down slowly,

“Luhan?” his confusion was palpable, “What do you want to know?”

“Everything,” Kyungsoo replied sliding his shaking hands into his pockets, Tao didn’t miss anything.

“Are you sure? You should rest-“

“Tao, please,” Tao seemed hesitant but complied to Kyungsoo’s request,

“Luhan ge- he,” Tao paused unsure of how to start, “he had the perfect life, he never had to lift a finger for anything, never had to raise his voice to get something, he had servants Kyungsoo, servants! And not just any servants they were all specialist in their trade, he had a team just to wait on him. A nanny, a private butler, a trainer, a pillow fluffer-” Tao emphasized watching as Kyungsoo’s eyes widened in disbelief, “anything a person would want in life, he had it. He had everything, money, brains, looks, talent both in arts and sports- I could go on all day,” Tao stopped eyes suddenly distant,

“He was kind to everyone, but he wasn’t a pushover. When we were younger he beat some homophobic s for ganging up on me at school, he lost but he was so proud that he stood up for me,” Tao’s voice wavered, Kyungsoo’s stomach felt hollow.

“He saved you,” Tao blinked startled by Kyungsoo’s voice, he smiled sadly.

“You could say that, he was always saving me. I was clumsier then your co-worker Jinki, Luhan ge made me join Wushu to strengthen me up and it worked. Everything was perfect.”

“If Luhan had everything,” Kyungsoo said as absorbed the story, “Then why is he here?” Tao’s eyes hardened,

“Because the golden boy was disowned, right before entering university. He told his parents he didn’t like girls-“ Kyungsoo’s hands started to shake harder at the familiarity of the situation, “They were ashamed! They told him they would keep funding him, but asked him to straighten out before appearing in front of them again!” Tao spat angry, “he didn’t want their money, he just wanted their support.”

Kyungsoo lowered his head, tears blurring his vision. Tao continued not noticing,    

“He moved out, pushed away all his friends, but it wasn’t enough. Not even a month later he told me he was going to a university in Korea- I was relieved. I thought a new place would mean a new start-“ Tao scoffed, “I was wrong, obviously.” He looked up leaping to his feet when he caught sight of Kyungsoo’s tears, “What’s wrong? Are you hurting anywhere?”

Kyungsoo held out a hand stopping Tao in place,

“I’m fine,” He croaked, “I’ll be fine…y-you don’t have to worry about me,” Tao’s brows furrowed at Kyungsoo’s words, “If Luhan wakes up- you don’t have to worry about me,” Kyungsoo’s voice trembled, “I’ll understand if you leave me for him-“ his tears contradicted his words. Tao’s mouth parted in what seemed to be shock.

“Because you love him and he needs you more,”

“Kyungsoo, I don’t understand-“

“It’s fine you don’t have to explain anything to me Tao, I know. I know you came to Korea because of Luhan, I know you dream about him almost every night-“ Tao’s eyes widened, “so if he wakes up you don’t have to feel entitled to stay with me, I’ll understand if you leave-“ Kyungsoo’s voice cracked, Tao took his hand shushing him.

“You think if Luhan ge wakes up I’ll leave you?” he shook his head, Kyungsoo tried to pull his hand away. Tao held on tighter, “Do Kyungsoo, you might think you’re a burden, but believe it or not you’re the best thing that has ever happened to me. No amount of money or things could make me happier than being with you. I can take care of both you and Luhan ge, don’t give me up-“ Tao’s eyes were b with tears, “I can’t loose you again, I’ve come to terms with the possibility of loosing my cousin, but I can’t loose you.”

It was silent, Tao waited nervously. The tears had stopped running down Kyungsoo’s face.

“Your cousin?” he questioned shakily, “Luhan, is your cousin?”

“Of course, why else would I…” Tao trailed off, “oh my god, no!” he released Kyungsoo’s hand grabbing onto his shoulders instead, forcing the other to face him, “please don’t tell that this all happened- that you tried to kill yourself-“ Tao’s voice shook with emotion, “because you thought that Luhan was more than just a cousin-“ Kyungsoo lowered his eyes guiltily unable to deny his colossal mistake, Tao staggered backwards in shock almost tripping over the chair,

“You’re here…because of me,” Kyungsoo shook his head, but his action was futile. Tao looked inconsolable, as if he would fall apart at any given second. Dr. Shim’s advice flashed through Kyungsoo’s mind and he found himself getting off the bed to stand in front of Tao.

“Tao,” he said oddly calm, his shaking completely subsiding. Tao’s head remained lowered, Kyungsoo reached out for Tao’s hand encasing them in his smaller ones.

“Tao, look at me,” Tao complied hesitantly, Kyungsoo squeezed his hand.

“I was in a bad place and I assumed too many things never truly knowing of the truth behind any of it-“ Kyungsoo smiled sadly, “I’ve only realised that I should have been more vocal about my worries maybe things wouldn’t have turned out this way-“ Tao nodded eyes sad, “at the time I thought if I said anything it would only burden you-”

“You're not a burden!” Tao burst out, “How many times must I say it until you believe it?”

“I do, I believe you-” Kyungsoo said quickly trying to reassure the other before he got too agitated, “I was stupid and insecure, but I should have believed in you- You would never hurt me...”

Tao nodded tearily,

“I should have told you about Luhan ge, I should have been more honest- from now Kyungsoo, no more secrets,”

Kyungsoo nodded feeling as if a weight had been lifted of his chest, he smiled.

“No more secrets,” he agreed.

-

Dr. Jung grinned as he looked over Kyungsoo's charts,

“Everything's looking good,” he commented cheerfully, “you may even be able to check out today,” Tao and Kyungsoo exchanged relieved looks that Dr. Jung caught.

“You don't have to look so happy about not seeing me everyday, Kyungsoo,”

Kyungsoo's face turned red as he tried to placate Dr. Jung.

“It's not you, Dr. Jung! You and all the nurses have been wonderful, it's just that-” Dr. Jung laughed cutting Kyungsoo off,

“I was just kidding, what kind of Doctor would want their patients to remain in hospital? I'm happy for you Kyungsoo and i'm glad I won't have to deal with Tao anymore,” he grinned and left before Tao could retaliate. Tao let out an annoyed huff as Kyungsoo laughed,

“He was kidding,”

“I still don't like him,”

“You don't like any-” Kyungsoo paused as a head peaked into the room from behind the door.

“M-may I come in?”

“Jongin?” Kyungsoo guessed, Tao frowned slightly confused. Jongin nodded shyly, “Of course you can,” Kyungsoo replied kindly. Jongin came into the room head lowered,

“Kai said you were nice-” he said half whispering before looking embarrassed, “I mean I knew you were nice, because you would talk to us-me” he corrected himself, Kyungsoo smiled. It seemed the other had made progress as well. Tao looked lost, Kyungsoo squeezed his hand.

“I'll tell you later,” he mouthed before turning back to Jongin, “do you want to sit down?”

Jongin shook his head,

“I have piano lessons in a bit, I only stopped by to relay a message to you,”

“For me?” Jongin nodded looking cautiously at Tao,

“Luhan has been spacey lately-” Jongin fell silent, brows suddenly furrowing. His eyes became cloudy for a second before he blinked posture changing in a heartbeat, tone confident “Luhan's gone, hyung.”

“Kai-” Kyungsoo slid off the bed to stand, shocked at the sudden change in personality and information, “are you sure?” the other nodded.

Tao and Kyungsoo exchanged looks before running out into the hallway, Tao reached the room first letting out a sharp gasp at what he saw.

“He's gone- Kyungsoo, where did gege go?” Tao's eyes were panicked, Kyungsoo glanced around the empty room speechless.

“Maybe they moved him,” he said gesturing to the absent bed trying to convince himself, “we can ask, Dr. Jung-”

“Ask me what?” Dr. Jung pushed past the two only to let out a curse, he rushed out to the nurses station expression harried.

“Where is Luhan?”

A//N: Hey Guyssss, it's finally up! Sorry again o.o kekekekekke where did Luhan go?!! Anyway not much longer til the end :'( Stay tuneddddd and to those fasting this month, Happy Ramadhan! I'll come back to edit this later for typos. Goodnight! Good Morning! Good Afternoon!! To wherever you all are, Ciaoo