Thursday morning.

 

You needed an effort to open your eyes and a bigger one to move yourself to sitting position. You rubbed your eyes and you convinced yourself they were not as huge as you thought it would be. You looked at the clock. It was 6:01AM. Using every energy you got, you walked to the bathroom.

You gazed upon your reflection in the mirror. It looked just okay. You flashed a smile to make yourself look better to start your morning.

You undressed yourself before you stepped inside the shower and turned the faucet. When the waterdrops hit you, it didn’t hurt you anymore like yesterday, and the day before it. You soaked your every skins wet then put some body wash on it with thoughts in your head.

That you’re admiring a dying angel who lived across the road.

That you didn’t want to lose him, but you have to let him go somehow.

That if you let him go, you have to let your past go, too.

That your life wasn’t that bad.

That you shouldn’t have run away.

That you have to come back to where you belong.

But that can only be happen if you have accomplished your one last mission.

To be with him until his last second’s living breathe.

 

You turned the faucet once again, after you washed yourself clean. You grabbed your pink towel and wiped yourself dry. When you got out of the bathroom, you noticed your outfit for work was already hanged on your closet’s door.

 

Wearing the hanged outfit, you walked downstairs with your left hand turning on your cell phone. On the kitchen counter, you saw a plate of cooked macaroni with its dressing and some tomato cuts over it. You smiled. You knew it must be Kevin’s work. You sat on the stool and started eating. Again, you felt much better than the days before.

After you finished your breakfast, you texted Kevin.

[Gigi 6:28AM]

Hey, thank you for everything :)

 

Not so long after you sent it, you heard a short tone coming from the living room. You walked there to find the source, but apparently, you found its owner, too. Kevin was sleeping peacefully on the sofa, and his cell phone was laid on the table in front of it. You walked closer and smiled, looking at his innocent face. You didn’t want to wake him up, so before you left, you gave him a peck on his forehead. You took a step back, and took a picture of him with your cell phone. You managed yourself not to giggle as you walked outside the living room.

 

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“WHY?” Mina asked you surprisedly. It was loud enough to make everyone around your panels glanced at you for a second.

“Ssssh!” You put your index finger in front of your lips, signaling to keep her voice low.

“Why would you leave the company? You just worked here about 7 months ago! Why would you resign?” She whispered with frowns on her forehead.

“I have to. My father wants me to go back, so...” You tried your best not to lie anymore. Mina had been so good to you, and she had been your girl best friend since the first time you worked at the office.

“How about your father’s enemy?” She asked. No more lies, Eunji.

“Uhm... There’s no enemy, Mina.”

“What? So they are gone by now?” She innocently replied. You tried to arrange the best sentence to clarify all that, but you realized that she’d better stay out of your past. She is too sweet to know the truth.

“I... Well... Yes.”

You ended up hugging each other tightly and both of you were crying in each other’s shoulder.

 

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You were sitting on the couch in the living room, watching some boring movie on TV without any intention. You were dead bored, while Kevin didn’t seem to answer your calls. You looked outside your window once every twenty seconds, since his house was so dark as if nobody was in the house.

You waited and waited.

 

It was already 11:00PM when a car stopped in front of Kevin’s house. You were half asleep, but the engine’s soft sound woke you up.You walked to the window, and you found him getting out of the carport and entering the house. His dark house turned  a little brighter when he the lights. You didn’t realize that you smiled widely when you finally saw his face. You’ve been waiting for that.

 

Suddenly, your cell phone rang. You smiled even wider when you read the caller’s ID.

“Hello, Kevin-ah!” you greeted cheerfully.

“Hi.What’s up? You sounded so happy. Did you miss me that much?” He teased you. From his voice, you knew he also smiled when he said that.

“Yes! So much! Ah where have you been?”

“Uh... Hospital.”

The conversation’s atmosphere instantly turned gloomy.

“Wh-what’s wrong? A-are you alright?” Your forehead frowned, with cold sweat started to formed every single time your heart beated.

You only heard series of breath from the other side.

“Kevin-ah! Answer me!” You half yelled.

Another breath sound was heard.

“Just come over.” He said before he turned off the connection.

 

You took your white sweater shirt and put in on worriedly. You also locked the door, in case you won’t be coming home. You had a feeling that you won’t.

 

You crossed the empty road and entered his house through his kitchen door. You bit your lips, worrying about him as hell. You searched his kitchen and his living room. It was empty. You walked towards his bedroom’s door. It was closed. You decided to knock a couple times before you turned the doorknob. Unfortunately, it was also empty. You scratched your head in confusion. There was only one place you hadn’t search for him: the bathroom.

“Do I have to enter the bathroom?” you whispered to yourself.

You took a deep breath and turned to his bathroom’s door. This time you didn’t knock. When you opened the door, you screamed hysterically.

 

The bathtub was over-filled with water, with Kevin floating on top of it, his face faced down. You rushed in and quickly turned up the faucet to stop the water from flowing. Then you rolled your sleeves, and used your hands to flip him over. Apparently, when you finally succeeded, his closed eyes suddenly opened widely.You shocked and slipped on the bathroom’s floor. Your head hit the floor, not so hard, but still gave you a little dizzy effect. Then you heard him laughing.

“Woah hahahaha. You’re punked! Here take my hand.” He stood up and offering his hand to help you. You heard the water dripped simultaneously from his wet clothes by the time he stepped out of the tub. His pretending-to-be-dead scene totally punked you.

“Forget it.” You refused his hand and using your elbows to get up. You were worried, pissed and shocked at the same time.

“I was kidding. I’m trying to do a simulation.” He sat on the tub’s side, watching your effort to stand up.

“Not funny.” You replied coldly. You felt your clothes were wet, because you fell right beside the tub. You turned at the door and thinking about leaving the house.

“Don’t leave.” His wet hand grabbed yours.

“I have nothing to say to you. You made me worried, you made me shocked, you made me panicked... And now I’m slipped in your bathroom! Is this funnier than your expectation? Huh?” You turned at him with a confronting look.

“Hey,” he stood up, “Is it true?”

“What ‘it’?”

“That you worried about me?” he held your hand tightly. You felt your heart a little warmer, but you were still pissed.

“I don’t know.” You tried to turn around, but he pulled you closer to him.

“Answer me.”

“Should I?” Your heart was pounding faster than ever. You saw his abs through his wet white t-shirt, which unintentionally made your adrenaline rushed at the speed of light.

“Yes.” He nodded once, his eyes still locked on yours. You were so nervous being that close with him, so all you did was nodding two times.

Before you realized it, his lips already met yours. His wet hair touched your forehead, made your head cooler than before. It felt as if you’re in heaven. The kiss comforted you, made your every despair disappeared. Then he pulled himself out.

“Thank you,” he smiled, “Now, mind to get me some changes?”

 

Ten minutes later, you already sat on the couch, watching a football match which you accidentally found when you randomly pressed the remote. You already changed your clothes, lend by Kevin. Thankfully you wore a sweater, so your underclothes were still safe. Your cheeks were still warm. You could imagine you couldn’t be anymore pinker than this. You tried not to remember that kissing scene, but the truth was your brain was full of that scene. One kiss. It was just one kiss.

 

Kevin just got out of his bedroom, still busy drying his hair with a towel cirled around his neck. His left hand was carrying an envelope. He walked towards the couch and sat beside you.

“Hmm.” He handed you the envelope.

“What’s this?” You received it.

“The reason why I left earlier today.”

You nodded and opened the envelope. He stood up and went to hang his towel, and came back to his position before you finished unfolding the papers inside.

 

There were two pieces of paper. The first one was a list table with a lot of numbers on it. Some of them you recognized as blood test result, while the rest was undescribable for you. You frowned and he chuckled when he saw it.

“You’re cute when you’re frowning.” He smiled. You turned your head at him, and you essentially fell in love with that beautiful face. Your cheeks felt like burning again.

“Uh, well, I don’t understand.” You said with your eyes looking at the first paper again, before you went crazy.

“You don’t need to understand that part. Just move to the next one.” He grabbed the first paper from you. You started to read the second paper. You read the paper, line by line.

It clearly said that Kevin’s life lasted no longer than a week.

You dropped your jaw. You felt a blade stabbed you right through your heart. You stopped breathing for a few seconds. Then, a weak shake took you back to your senses.

“Oh, don’t cry.” He wiped your cheeks with his fingers. You didn’t even realize that teardrops already running down your face.

“Is it t-true?” you stuttered, trying your best consolidating reality and your fear, though somehow you knew it’s useless.

“It’s even worse,” he moved himself closer to you, “I may only have like...2 days or less.”

“It said a week, approximately-”

“Approximately? No, that’s not true. Besides, see the date on top of the paper. It’s 3 days before today.” He pointed at the date on the corner of the paper.

“What?” You didn’t believe what you just read and heard.

“Then what did you do at the hospital today?” You asked him, holding yourself not to cry, again, you had known you would fail.

“Arranging my own last ceremony, to make sure I have some place to be buried in...”

“Why? Why are you talking like that?” Your tears was unstoppably falling and falling, as if no tomorrow. Then again, it was no tomorrow for you to be with him, you thought. You couldn’t imagine how you could resemble yourself after leaving home for months, right after you find an angel you didn’t want to let go.

“Because I refused to take any medication. Anything that may push that slow-motion button. I went here to die, anyway, right?” He cupped your cheeks, rubbing your eyes, which were soaking wet. He somehow pushed you back to your past.

“No! I won’t let you go!” You yelled, letting his hands from your cheeks and grabbed it with your palms.

Sungmin, don’t leave me! You may left me, but not again! Please. Don’t take him away!

“Eunji, you have to. Not much time left. Besides...” he paused, “I think my time has come. I’m terminal. I can feel it.”

He your hair gently as he drowned your head in a deep hug.

“Don’t let go.” You nagged.

“I really, honestly, purposely, consciously won’t.” He whispered.

 

00:24 AM

All the lights were all went out. It was a simple sight on his living room. You were stiing in the couch with Kevin’s head on your lap. You lighted a lot of candles and put it randomly all over the room. The room looked bright and warm. It was beautiful, you admitted to yourself.

“You like what I did to this room?” You asked him proudly.

“Yes. So much.” He smiled as his eyes still gazing around the room.

“Where did you get this idea?” he asked me.

“Well many years ago, I saw Hillary Duff’s video clip, called Come Clean. The room was just like this, only candles everywhere. I always want to try this setting.”

“Argh...” he suddenly moaned, “I think I can feel my stomach...” he rubbed his belly, “I think I’m gonna...”

Before he finished, blood came out of his nostrils. Right beside you was a table with a box of tissue on it. You didn’t realize that you was totally forgot about your phobia, that you put his head on a pillow and rushed to get the tissuebox. Despite your awkwardness, you wiped the blood from his face. You pulled some more to blocked his nostrils.

“Is it still flowing?” You asked him panickedly.

“I think it’s gonna stop anytime soon.” He answered, playing the tissue that you socked inside his nostrils.

Two minutes passed with none of you saying anything. Both of you were busy handling the nose-bleed.

 

“Hey you owe me something.” Kevin broke the silence.

“What is that?” you pulled the tissue out of his nostrils. No more bleeding.

“I’ve shared you my story. Now, stay with me. Tell me stories.” He grabbed you by the hand, pulled you back to the couch so he could rest his head on your lap again. You smiled sadly. You knew he’s time was near. You forced yourself not to cry as you look up to the ceiling every 10 seconds.

“Will you tell me your stories?” he asked you.

“Of course. I’ll tell you anything. But firstly, can I ask you a question?” you his forehead. He blinked cutely and smiled at me. I couldn’t help but giggled.

“Who do you think I am?” you asked him. He closed his eyes for a few seconds.

“You’re the reason I’m still living. If it wasn’t because of you... I might ask the doctor to inject me to death. I just might. Then I thought about a better way to die. Drinking shower gels or shampoo... Jumping from a running train... Shot myself... Then I met you. I didn’t know who you are. You didn’t know who I am. I saw the look in your eyes. You don’t belong here. You deserve a better life. You’re lonely. I was lonely. But... Now that we’re together... I just found... The best way to die. At least for myself. And there’s no other way I would want to die, except here, right now. I'm almost there.”

 

You both were in tears. You’re not a crybaby thing, but the situation was just too sad to explain. Your emotions were all mixed up.

You’re happy you could meet an angel.

You’re sad that he’s about to die.

You’re proud that you’re so important for him.

You’re mad because you couldn’t save him.

 

“Hey...” Kevin picked a sheet of tissue and wiped my cheeks and eyes.

“Don’t cry.” He said again.

“I know. You, too.” You grabbed the tissue he was holding and wiped his face with it.

“We have to go to where it all began. Promise me one thing?” You clasped your fingers with his. He raised his eyebrows weakly.

“Don’t fall asleep. Don’t... go.”

“I’m holding your hands right now. How can I ever let you go?” Kevin tightened your hold.

I will die with a lullaby from an angel. What could I ask for more?

 

 

 

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