Dongwan lied on his bed and thought about his past. Past that he didn’t want to remember. Never. Dongwan was one of those people who usually did as he wanted to but now he couldn’t. How could someone forget the day when your one true love hurts you?

Flashback:

“Dongwan, we need to talk.” Minwoo said and patted his lover’s shoulder.

Dongwan smiled but as soon as he noticed the broken look on Minwoo’s face, he cringed and knew that something was up. He straightened on his chair and turned to look at his boyfriend who now held his hand and tried to calm Dongwan’s heartbeat. It didn’t work.

“What is it Minwoo?” Dongwan asked somewhat happily trying to show that he was ready to hear whatever Minwoo wanted to tell him. To be honest, he didn’t want to hear anything, at all.

“I’m in love with someone else.” Minwoo said and cleared his throat when Dongwan’s jaw dropped. “And it’s a she.” He added.

Dongwan didn’t know how to react or what to say. He just sat there, doing nothing else but breathing and still holding Minwoo’s hand. He wanted to hold it even though his heart had just being broken into so little pieces that it was hard to collect them and make a new heart out of them.

“…She?” Dongwan whispered after the long silence.

Minwoo nodded and released Dongwan’s trembling hands onto his lap while his hands were still trying to find a place to stay.

“I’m sorry. I seriously love her.” Minwoo spoke. “I still remember how I felt when I was with you and our relationship was a great experience.” He continued not even looking at Dongwan who tried to keep the tears away.

An experience? He thought upset. I was an experience to him? Dongwan pondered and felt a huge lump inside his throat.

“But she stole my heart.” Minwoo said. “Say something.” He then ordered.

Dongwan swallowed the bitter taste inside his throat and tried to flash a truthful yet hurtful smile to Minwoo. He fisted his hand to prevent himself for crying and lifted his glowing eyes to his now, unfortunately, ex-boyfriend.

“I’m happy for you.” Dongwan whispered and patted Minwoo’s hand. “I really am.” He added.

Minwoo looked little serious but in a minute he softened and his eyes were looking back at Dongwan’s who was afraid that he would see the pain and suffering from there but he didn’t. It was good, right?

“If you love her and manage to be with her, I have no intensions to keep you here. She deserves someone like you.” Dongwan murmured to Minwoo. “It was a nice experience.”

I love you, you idiot! Dongwan thought and squeezed his hands into a tight fist. It was so tight that his knuckles were white.

“It was nice being with you.” Dongwan said as the hurting feeling in his chest was getting worse and worse. “But, hey, what can I do if you don’t like me as a boyfriend? I’m glad you realized it and was able to speak to me.” He stated and flashed another smile.

Minwoo smiled too and got up from the seat in front of Dongwan. “I’m happy that you say those words. Talking to you has been in my mind for a while now. I’m delighted that you can let me go. Our relationship wasn’t that real even. Just something couple of guy friends wanted to try out, right?” he laughed.

Dongwan laughed too but it came out as an awkward chuckle.

“You’re right Minwoo. I’m happy that you remain as my friend.” Dongwan commented. Minwoo approached to him and gave him a hug, a hug filled with friendship. Friendship that Dongwan had never ever felt with Minwoo. It seriously hurt.

“Now I need to go to meet her. We are going on a date.” Minwoo explained grinning like a fool.

“Have fun.” Dongwan wished and as soon as Minwoo exited the room, he collapsed to the floor and cried. He cried his miserable heart out. He had lost his love.

End of the flashback

Dongwan sat on his bed, in darkness, and he was crying for the umpteenth time already. Their break up had happened two months ago and he was still able to remember literally what Minwoo had said to him. He didn’t want to remember but he did.

Dongwan hadn’t been out at all and his stubble had grown into that extent that he had to shave it off. He hadn’t slept and you could see it when looking at him. His eye bags were dark and deep, his face had gotten thinner and he seemed sick. He wanted to end his agony somehow. He couldn’t live anymore. He couldn’t live in the world where his ex-lover loved someone else who wasn’t him. He couldn’t watch TV since everything there was, was Minwoo and his beautiful romance together with that woman. She even performed with him in Minwoo’s music videos.

Dongwan wanted to end his sufferings and stop being so sad all the time. He wanted to say farewell to Minwoo who was still a huge piece in his heart. He wanted to forget. Everything.

Dongwan walked to his desk, took some paper out of his drawer and pen from his pencil case and started to scribble a letter for Minwoo. The last thing he would’ve wanted to say to the other one but never couldn’t. That was what Dongwan wanted to do.

And he did.

 “Yo! Yo! Minwoo’s in the house!” Minwoo said after entering the huge foyer. He walked to the room next to it and saw gloomy looks on his Shinhwa members’, who were sitting on the couch, faces. He fell serious and walked towards Hyesung who was holding something in his hand. “Why are you all so sad looking?” Minwoo asked scared.

Hyesung lifted his gaze towards the main dancer and let out a sigh. Minwoo was shocked when he noticed the looks on his friends’ faces except that someone wasn’t there. “Where’s Dongwan?” Minwoo questioned.

Hyesung sighed again and gave him the paper sheet that he was holding. Minwoo took it and opened the letter. There were only three words but still Minwoo felt a huge stung in his heart.

‘I loved you’ it said and Minwoo’s eyes started to water.

“What’s this?” he asked Hyesung who looked at his fellow members.

“A letter…from Dongwan.” The main vocalist answered.

“But…why?” Minwoo questioned.

Hyesung shrugged. “He didn’t tell me anything else but just hand it to you.”

“Where is he?”

“Gone…”

“Gone?”

“He left somewhere. We tried to stop him but we couldn’t. He wanted to forget something.” Hyesung explained sadly.

Minwoo’s head was pounding.

“Whatever you did to him, Minwoo, you hurt him.” Hyesung said and shook his head. “I have never seen Dongwan like that.” He added.

“…”

Minwoo stood rigidly in the room, still holding the letter in his hands, tears flowing out of his eyes. But why did he cry? He didn’t know. He just didn’t know.

“Minwoo…” Hyesung whispered and reached to Minwoo and hugged him tightly.

Suddenly a phone rang and Minwoo shook off of Hyesung’s embrace and ran to the device. He grabbed the phone and gasped, “DONGWAN!”

“No, this is Seoul’s private hospital.” A lady’s voice said.

Minwoo’s heart skipped a beat. “Yes?” he questioned.

“Kim Dongwan was brought here an hour ago after getting into a car crash. He’s stable now but the following night will be hard. Are you his brother?”

“No, I’m f-f-friend. How is he?” Minwoo replied.

“Well, he is fine but he is in coma.” She spoke. “We will treat him nicely. Goodbye.” She continued and a beep sound was heard from the other side.

Minwoo kneeled to the floor, still holding the device inside his hand. Hyesung and the others followed him and got Minwoo up from the floor.

“What happened?” they asked in unison.

“Dongwan was in a car accident.”

Three days later Minwoo rushed to the hospital. He wanted to see Dongwan and ask him about the letter and well, about everything.

“In which room Kim Dongwan is?” he questioned and one of the nurses gave him the directions.  

Minwoo opened the door and entered the white and plain room that had a huge window in the middle of the wall. He walked towards the bed and noticed Dongwan’s face. It was filled with cuts and bruises. His eyebrow had swollen a little and his lips were wounded. There was no way that all of this wasn't his fault. Minwoo was the reason why Dongwan had hurt himself, badly.

Dongwan had woken up a day before and was now sitting eyes opened on his hospital bed. Minwoo walked towards him and instantly, Dongwan asked, "Who are you?"

Minwoo startled but still touched his hand.

"A friend..." he answered and smiled. 

Dongwan smiled and waved his hand as a sign of 'Hello'. Minwoo smiled widely and tightened his grip on Dongwan's hand.

At least you forgot.