28/02/15

Dear Diary,

When the driver first walked in, he looked so nervous. He probably thought I was going to be rude and mean to him, since..well..most people probably would be, but not me! I welcomed with open arms and a smile, and I saw him physically relax as I bid him good morning :) 

We didn't really talk about the accident, I don't think either one of us wanted to relive it. He asked me how Seunghyun is doing, I told him how he's waking up and doing great, but other than that, anyhing related to the incident was not mentioned. We talked about our interests, he told me he's currently unemployed, but his wife works in an office. The have three children, two boys and a girl. They're absolutely adorable, Diary! He seemed really thankful over the fact I was kind and understanding to him.

I didn't really mention my incident, but as soon as he knew I was the Kang Daesung of BIGBANG, he probably already knew why I did this. My accident was huge news here, so he must know of it..

He was called a murder, a sick monster, and he got suicide notes from angry fans, but I helped him focus on the positive. 

Diary..I really have trouble writing this. It hurts to even think about it, but I need to get it out, so I will try.

Diary, he was going to kill himself tonight. As soon as he finished his meeting with me, he was going to drive his car into the lake and drown. He told me that because of me, he wasn't going to do that. 

I wonder if this is how Seunghyun felt? I'm so elated that I saved this man's life. This man that has a loving wife and three children, I save that family..

I feel so overwhelmed right now, I need to sleep. Good night, Diary.

~Smiling Angel D-LITE ^-^ <3

01/03/15

Dear Diary,

Seunghyun smiled at me today. It wasn't a big smile, but I was telling him some stupid jokes and his lips curled up into a half smile. 

It was the most beautiful thing I have ever seen..

I asked him if it hurt to smile and he said yes. 

So I asked him why he did it if it hurt?

He said, because I looked so miserable.

Later on when he went to sleep, I looked in the mirror and, Diary..

I looked nothing like the Daesung I remember..

Dark bags under my eyes, my skin pallid, my hair a complete mess..

My eyes have no life in them, Diary. 

Even though I'm so happy Seunghyun is waking up, I looked so miserable. Why?

Is it because, I'm still afr

I don't think he's gonnna r

BIGBANG will never be the s

It must just be stress. I'm gonna go take a nice warm shower and try to liven myself up, good night, Diary.

~Smiling Angel D-LITE ^-^ <3