14/02/15

Dear Diary,

I wish I never asked about Seunghyun. I wish I never followed the hyungs to his room. I wish I never saw him hooked up to all those machines, countless tubes running through his body. I'm just fine with going back to my imagination. 

The doctors don't know when he will wake up.

Could be days, weeks, months, years, maybe never.

I promise you, Seunghyun. 

I promise to never leave this room until you wake up.

I don't care how long it takes.

I'll eat, sleep, and live in this room. 

The nurses can try to kick me out, but I don't care.

I'll be here until you wake up, because you will wake up.

God wouldn't kill the man I love off like this, not without letting me tell you everything I've hidden these past eight years. Why else would God put you in this comatose state?

Is this God's payback? He won't let me get in the accident, but he tortures me like this..

~ Smiling Angel D-LITE ^-^ <3

15/02/15

Dear Diary, 

Taeyang-hyung scared me again today. He yelled at me - not playfully like when I leave the television on, or organize his room without permission - he actually, yelled at me. 

He doesn't understand how I can smile when two of my closest friends are gone.

I told him Seunghyun isn't gone yet.

He said I need to come back to reality, because BIGBANG is coming back without them.

I asked him how he could possibly think this.

He replies that Jiyong-hyung says so.

I tell him, Seunghyun could come back.

And that's where he yelled. That's where he lost his cool. He tried to drag me home, make me take a shower, eat something and just come home and move on. 

I told him I'd take a shower, inside the hospital bathroom next door. I told him I'd eat, the nurse brings me food from downstairs. I told him I'd come home, when Seunghyun wakes up. I told him I will never move on.

~ Smiling Angel D-LITE ^-^ <3