Day 3: Five Steps to Fangirling

Krystal POV

“Eh? What’s this Krys?” my sister asked, holding a thin book that she had taken from my drawer.

I snatched the book away.

“That,” I said, glaring at Jessica, “would be something called The Five Step to Fangirling by Krystal Jung. And how’d you get in my room?”

Jessica raised an eyebrow.

“You wrote a book about fangirling… I question your sanity sometimes.”

“Says the girl who has a multiple personality,” I taunted.

Jessica became flustered and opened in wonderment.

“How… how’d you find out about that…?”

“Oh, Jess, you’re talking to the former president of the ‘Stalker’s Club’. There isn’t anything I can’t find out,” I replied, smirking at her.

“You know something,” she said, shaking her head, “I blame mom and dad for raising such weird kids.”

“I second that,” came a voice from behind me.

I jumped, startled, and turned around to violently smack whoever had snuck up on me.

“Yeow!!! Jesus! What’s with you Jungs and being violent,” wept a mourning Sooyoung who had lost her banana to my smack.

“How do you people even get into my room?!” I screamed.

“I picked yo' lock, fool,” responded Sooyeon, holding a bag of lock-picking tools.

“I stole your key,” Sooyoung said.

“And why would you steal my key?” I asked.

“Sica texted me about some funny stalking manual, and I wanted to check it out for myself.”
 

I sighed.

“Well, since you’re both here. Why don’t you make yourselves useful and help me with the stalking?” I offered.

“Hmm, I’d love to Krys, buuuuuut I have to go check up with the doctor about stuff,” replied my sister.

“Hmph. Mo' like you want an excuse ta go flirt wit tha doctorz sister,” said a teasing Sooyeon.

“Oh my god, Sooyeon. Could you please keep that kind of information private?!” squealed my sister.

“OOOOO! Sica and Tiff~ Sittin’ in a tree, k-i-s-s-”

I watched as my sister very maturely handled the taunting my throwing tissues at Sooyoung. Sooyoung, not faltered, started poking my sister in the most mature way possible. Then Jessica responded by very maturely, I emphasize, maturely, swatting at Sooyoung with a fly swatter.

Unable to handle the level of maturity my unnies were exhibiting, I grabbed the fly swatter and hit both of their heads with it.

“YAH! Stop acting like twelve year olds! Sooyoung, come with me as we go stalk my idol! And unnie, go flirt with Tiff or whoever your girlfriend is!” I ordered.

The room was quiet. Too quiet.

“Damn, dat sista of yours is straight-up freaky when she mad salty,” muttered Sooyeon as Jessica’s body inched its way out of my room.

“S-s-o K-krsyt-t-al… W-what d-do you n-need help with?” asked a very scared Sooyoung.

“Just come with me,” I said, grabbing her hand.

A few minutes later…

“All right Soojung, what’s step one of your grand master plan?” inquired Sooyoung.

“Step 1: Locate and Secure Target Location.”

“Well that doesn’t sound too difficult.”

“That’s why it’s step one!” I hissed back.

“…”

“Tell me again why we’re wearing camouflage pants and night vision goggles and hiding behind these bushes where people can obviously see us and make fun of us?”

“Quiet Sooyoung!”                 

“Ok, ok, yeesh. Children these days.”

A girl walked by and glanced skeptically at our outfits.

I glared at her and whispered angrily, “What are you looking at blondie?! That’s right, walk away before I freeze your limbs off.”

I gazed off in the distance with my binoculars to observe the large throng of people that had gathered by the school’s front gate. A white limousine pulled up and a tall young lady was gracefully escorted out of the car. Her beautiful colored dressed fluttered in the wind as she majestically swept her bangs out of her eyes. A joyful “Hello,” danced off her lips, skipping across the hearts of her fans. I caught the “hello” with my hands outreached and smothered into a hug. I looked across the campus lovingly at the flawless pale face of my longtime crush.

Choi-

“Sulli? Is that you?!” Sooyoung hollered across the lawn that me from my angel.

The angel’s face turned around to see who had called her. Recognition hit her, and she daintily bounded over to Sooyoung.

“Sooyoung! Is that really you? And why are you wearing camouflage?” asked the angel gleefully.

“Well you see-”

That’s all I heard before started to lose my vision. Then I fainted.

* * * * * * * *

“Soojung! Lil’ Jung! YAH! Wake up!”

A voice was shouting at me, and someone was shaking me.

It must be a large fly  I thought.

I didn’t like the noise, so I shoved my fist up, hoping to punch the annoyingness away.

“OWW!”

Sooyoung? Oh my god, Sooyoung!
 

“Oh my god! I’m so sorry! I thought you were a fly,” I apologized.

“…”

“A fly? Really lil’ Jung?”

“…”

I finally remembered what had happened to me before I out.

I grabbed Sooyoung’s shoulders and started shaking her. “Sulli! What happened to Sulli?! Did she see me faint!? What did she say?! Does she think I’m a creep?! How long-”

Sooyoung swatted my hands off.

“My god. My brain must’ve fallen out of place. Remind me never to hang out with Jungs anymore. You guys are going to kill me. And Sulli left right before you fainted cause people started chasing her.”

“Oh thank god. That means we can continue with the plan,” I sighed in relief.

“Seriously? Can we take a food break? I’m starving from all that hiding.”

“NO! No. The plan must go on. Step 2: Follow Target and Find Out Favorite Things.”

“This is going to take forever,” groaned Sooyoung.

* * * * * * * *

We tailed Sulli around her classes, remaining hidden behind columns doorways, and tables. Sooyoung got hit with a few doors, lost a nail or two to the unwary student, and had some hairs singed off when we followed Sulli to her chemistry class. You may be wondering, “don’t you have class?” CLASSES CAN WAIT FOR SULLI. Ahem. Anyways, we finally followed Sulli to the café where she ordered a Caramel Frappuccino.

I deemed Step 2 a success as I deduced Sulli didn’t like pigeons, loved cute toys, hated creepy science teachers, liked drinking coffee, and like twirling her hair when she was bored.

Sooyoung and I regrouped at the food court where the shikskin took a break to stuff full of food.

“Mpphh Soojun. You shul really try shum uf this turkey shtuffin. Ish delishous.”

“Sooyoung, don’t talk with your mouth full. Ok. Step 3: Classify and Engage Target.”

“Mmph-K”

“All right. I classify target Sulli Choi as a type AXK-399-B.”

Sooyoung swallowed.

“What’s that mean, lil’ Jung?”

I rolled my eyes in disbelief.

“Sooyoung. Did you even read the Stalker’s Guide to Stalking Terms Manual? Classifications are like the easiest thing about stalking.”

“Um, that book had a long title so I didn’t want to read it.”

“Unbelievable. Anyways, AXK-399-B classification means that the target is a fairly laid back type, hence the B at the end, signaling a type B type of person. The AX determines that the target is fairly innocent and feminine. The K means the target takes care of herself well. The 3 shows us the target has a fear of birds, while the 99 shows the target has a love of sweet and cute things.”

“…”

“… Wow, that’s a really detailed analysis of my cousin. It’s pretty accurate actually. How’d you get that out of half a day’s stalking?”

“A trade secret, Sooyoung. A trade secret. Wait! Cousin?! She’s your cousin?!”

“Yeah, haven’t I told you?”

“NO! You’d think I’d remember if you told me! And why would you think it’s OK to withhold that kind of information from me!?” I screeched.

“Geez, sorry. Well yeah, she’s my cousin. Do you want her number?”
 

“No. No. Suddenly getting her number would seem suspicious. She’d think I’m some creepy stalker or something.”

“…Um, we’re following a manual called ‘Five Steps to Fangirling.’ I think that classifies you as some creepy stalker.”

I chuckled.

“Silly Sooyoung. I’m not stalking her. I’m simply noting her every move in order to become her future lover. Now, we must engage the target and initiate contact.”

* * * * * * * *

“How could you lose sight of her Sooyoung?” I questioned angrily.

“It’s not my fault some girl was offering free cookies! Who’d turn down free cookies?”

I glared at the shikskin.

“Great,” I muttered, “Now we don’t know where she is, and I can’t follow through with the plan.”

*munch*

“You know,” Sooyoung said between bites, “I could just call her and introduce you two.”

“Hah! That would be too straightforward. No. A good plan must be simply complex. Now, let’s go find her.”

We walked towards the library when suddenly I heard screams.

My ears twitched at the sound.

“It sounds like the sweet sound of fangirls and fanboys,” I thought aloud.

“Well, I think you found her. And I’d suggest we run before we get trampled over.”

The ground started shaking.

“Lil’ Jung! Let’s go!” Sooyoung shouted, retreating in the other direction.

“NO! I must stay. I must confront the goddess.”

The trembling of the ground grew stronger and the shrill screams of fans rumbled louder.

“Closer. Closer,” I whispered.

Suddenly a single girl rounded the corner of the building, rushing in my direction with her short orange colored hair bouncing behind her.

“Hi, I’m-”

My introduction was cut short when the angel grabbed my arm and pulled me behind a soda machine.

“I’m sorry about this,” murmured the target murmured into my ear.

“Sorry for w-”

Again, I was cut off. But this time by something soft on my lips. Foreign hands found their way to my cheeks and held them gently, their owner’ body pressed against the soda machine. The soft objects on my lips tasted like… like cherry chapstick. The chapstick covered lips moved softly on mine, and mine unconsciously moved in sync. I felt like I was floating on cloud 9.

Lost in a daze, my arms fell naturally around the orange haired girl’s hips, my body shielding most of her body from the outside world’s view. I was so entranced in the moment, that I barely heard the large hoard of screaming fans rush past us screaming, “Where are you Sulli!?”

One fan stopped and pointed at us.

“Is that them?”

“It can’t be! Sulli doesn’t have a girlfriend! Keep moving!”

When the fans had cleared out from the hallway, the cherry lips retracted from mine. The kiss seemed like it had lasted a decade.

The orange haired girl wiped the sides of to make sure no chapstick smeared.

A hand stuck out in my direction.

“Thanks for the help,” chirped the bubbly voice that belonged to the girl, “I’m Sulli. And you’re name is…?”

Still stunned out of my mind from the preceding events, I couldn’t think of anything else but the cherry chapstick flavored lips.

“My. My name is…” I continued to stare at the girl’s lips, “… cherry chapstick.”

And then, I fainted once again.

A/N: Whew. That was a lot of words. I’m no good at fluffy romantic stuff, so hopefully that wasn’t too bad. Hope you guys liked it :) Oh also, did my gangsta talk improve? Haha

Edit: since the image isn't uploading, Sulli's hair is that new orangey color for the purposes of this fic. If you guys haven't seen it, check out  yeah-fx.tumblr.com.