EunMi’s forehead felt damp. Damp and cool. Her eyelids felt slow. Closed and heavy. She groaned lightly, pressing her small, pale hand to her forehead. A damp cloth had been placed carefully there. What? What happened? Where am I? I must get up! 

EunMi’s eyes opened slowly and with difficulty, like a newborn chick seeing its first daylight. She pulled herself into a sitting position on what felt like a couch. The world was a huge mess of blur; nothing was clear. She found herself in the bottom of the deepest pit in the deepest part of the deepest ocean. She was alone, lost, and blind. EunMi’s finger pushed air as she tried to adjust her glasses.My glasses! Her eyes widened as she blindly stretched her arms out, searching for her glass sight. 

EunMi was vulnerable. Helpless. Reaching out into the great blur of the unknown, tears began to build up in her eyes, blurring her sight even more. Her hand gave away, slipping against the couch’s slick surface, sending her to the thinly carpeted floor. EunMi winced, squeezing her eyes shut. She squeezed back the pain. She squeezed back her tears. She squeezed back the fear. I musn’t cry. I cannot allow myself to cry! EunMi told herself. She whimpered, swallowing the pain, tears, and fear. It made an uncomfortable lump in and stuck there. She pushed herself up onto her hands and knees. 

“Noona!” a small voice called. It swam with concern. EunMi’s cheeks flushed and her eyes grew as someone’s arms slid through hers. They lifted her up and back onto the couch. “EunMi, it’s Jay! Are you okay?” It was Jay?? I’m in Dae Guk Nam Ah’s apartment?? She scolded herself as the memory of fainting came back. Jay shook her shoulder gently. “Noona?”

EunMi’s hand found the towel that had fallen from her forehead. She picked it up and twisted it devilishly through her fingers, wringing it nervously. “J-Jay?” she stuttered. EunMi couldn’t even believe his name was escaping her lips; the word would be heard by his ears. Aish! Why am I thinking this way?Her heart fluttered. “I-I’m okay… b-but I can’t see anything at all,” she whispered.

EunMi couldn’t see Jay. Only a sweet red blob floating on the couch next to her. “Ah! I’m so sorry. I uh… took them off you when my hyungs helped to bring you in. I didn’t want them to break.” 

EunMi’s face was hot as she nodded. Suddenly, she gasped. Jay’s hand was holding hers! Jay mumbled a quiet apology as he slipped EunMi’s glasses into her hand. Their contact quickly broke. EunMi stuttered a thank you, sliding the glasses back onto her nose. EunMi’s hand had felt so delicate, so fragile in Jay’s. He blushed, realizing what he was thinking. Yah! This is your noona! She is a friend. Nothing more.[i] Jay stared down quietly at EunMi’s hand. He knew he wanted to touch it again. To hold her hand in his. [i]Why can’t I let myself be like this? Jay sighed, looking away. He stared at his shoes. That’s right. I’ve only known her a few days.

EunMi stood suddenly, startling Jay. She said quickly, “How long have I been out?”

He stood quickly, shoving his hands in his pockets. “You slept the whole night, noona.” EunMi’s face became flushed again. 
She blushes so easily! “Do not worry, no one… ah…” Jay began, blushing. “We all left you alone the whole night.”

“I need to leave,” EunMi muttered suddenly, heading for the door.

She’s leaving? Did I say something? Oh no, I bet she thinks I did something…. “Do you want anything to eat before you leave?” Jay stuttered. On her heels, he tripped after her to the door.

“No, no! My grandmother will be so worried!” EunMi’s eyes quivered worriedly. She opened the door, speed walking to the elevator. It seemed she had arrived so long ago. Had a lifetime passed while she was with Jay? It felt like it to EunMi. Jay stood in the doorway, sadly. He watched her press the elevator button. The door opened. 

“Yah! EunMi! Thank you for my homework!” Jay called out. Did she hear him?

EunMi didn’t look back. She stepped into the elevator. But Jay saw a small smile on her face. His eyes lit up. He watched as the elevator doors closed, sealing them apart.

Jay rubbed his tummy nervously. “Shh! Butterflies! Be quiet in there!” I can’t wait to see her again… 

~~~~

He was a blessing. He was a curse. 

Nabi found herself again outside Seunghyun’s apartment. Kikwang stood next to her, holding her hand tightly. Her fingertips tingled against his warm skin.

Kikwang was on Nabi’s mind. Having a boyfriend was so new to her. But she loved it. She loved knowing he would always be there for her. Knowing that he would protect her. Knowing that he loved her. Seunghyun isn’t any of those things to me…

But the curse. Nabi didn’t want Seunghyun to know about Kikwang. But he stuck there by her side, like a tattoo marking her body.

She belonged to him.

Nabi knocked. 

She’s here, Seunghyun thought. He stared at himself in the mirror, distantly straightening the collar on his white short-sleeve dress shirt. Seunghyun smiled softly, remembering Nabi’s sleep-talk. 

“Choi Seunghyun!” she had muttered in her sleep. Nabi pulled her head up from the dictionary she chose as a pillow. She wiped the drool from her bottom lip like a zombie. 

Seunghyun had known immediately she was still sleeping. Smiling, he whispered in English, “Yes, little girl?”

“I like when oppas wear… wear…,” Nabi’s head nodded. It shot back up. “WHITE.”

“White?” Seunghyun had swallowed his laugh. “Why white?”

“Jesus wears white. I like Jesus.”

He smiled.

“Also… white is pure.”

And so Seunghyun had chosen to wear white today. Whether or not Nabi would see him as Jesus or pure… he didn’t care. As long as she liked it. As long as she liked him.

He walked to the living room, smoothing down his white pants. She had been the only living creature he thought about since she came into his life. At first she was like a plague. He disliked her for questioning his superiority. Who he was. She had stood up to him. Fresh territory. 

Now, she was like a gift. A blessing. His Heaven. When he thought of her, he was no longer annoyed. He was intrigued, interested, immensely in love. He wanted her to be his. To belong to him. 

He opened the door.

The first thing Seugnhyun noticed was the creature standing next to Nabi, holding the hand he wanted to hold. Nabi was staring at her blue converse, trying to avoid his eyes. She tried to let go of Kikwang’s hand, but his grip tightened gently around her hand.
Kikwang looked up at Seunghyun. “I’m Kikwang. Nabi’s boyfriend.”

~~~~

The sat awkwardly in Seunghyun’s living room. Kikwang and Nabi were on the couch, his hand still clutching hers as if she was a possession.

What, does he think I’m going to leap up and steal her from him? Seunghyun thought, smirking. He leaned back in his black arm chair. It no longer felt like a throne to him. It was a stage. Seunghyun knew Kikwang had come here to humiliate him. To hurt him. 

Well, he wouldn’t let him.

At least not while Kikwang was here. Or Nabi…

If thoughts were something you could hold, stuff in your pocket, and save to eat for later, then Seunghyun’s thoughts would be a pomegranate. And so, Seunghyun stuffed the pomegranate from his hand into his pocket. He would eat it later.

Seunghyun smiled at Kikwang, mustering the most sincere amount of false emotion he could. “How long have you two been dating?” he asked.

“He asked me yester-“ 

“We’ve been dating for a few months now,” Kikwang interrupted. 

Seunghyun’s eyes widened. He forced another smile. “Well… I’m happy for you. Should we get started now?”

Nabi had been squirming, uncomfortable with the thick discomfort that hung in the air. It was nearly suffocating her. 

Seunghyun doesn't seem to care that I'm dating Kikwang..., she thought, sighing. She squeezed her boyfriend’s hand. 

When Seunghyun spoke, she jumped. “Ah, neh! I have lots of work for you today.” She blushed , scooting to the edge of the couch. Kikwang followed. He wrapped his arm around her waist loosely. Her mind shivered gleefully at his touch. She smiled, shuffling though her notes. “Ah, Seunghyun. Today we’re going to learn more adjectives! Please repeat after me.”

Seunghyun nodded.

Nabi looked at her list of words and read the first one aloud, “Tall.”

“Tar.”

“Tall”

“Tall?”

“Neh,” Nabi said, nodding. She scratched through the word on her list. “Do you know the meaning?” Seunghyun shook his head.

“It means kiga keun in Korean,” Nabi explained. 

“Tall,” Seunghyun repeated.

“Short.”

~~~~

Seunghyun sat in his bathroom on the tile floor. The silver drain shone between his legs. He took out the pomegranate from his pocket. His tears fell silently onto his skin, soaking it. Seunghyun made no sound; his face did not distort. He only cried quietly. The tears ran from his eyes faster than the speed of light. He held the razor in his hand to his arm and dug its blade into his skin, pulling it horizontally. 

I’ll never touch another girl again. For you, Nabi. 

Salty tears mixed with red pomegranate juice flooded down the drain. Blood stained the tiles.

Never again.

___________________

Now Playing on Seunghyun's iPod

"Points of Authority" by Linkin Park

___________________

AUTHOR'S NOTE

Wooo!! A decent-length update!
Yeah so this is where it starts to get all angsty. But don't worry, it'll come and go :)
ooooo cute EunJay fluff <333 ㅋㅋㅋㅋㅋ
correct me if kiga keun is wrong, i popped "tall" into google translator, so if it's wrong i'm sorry!! 
also this is the last update that I have written previously, so I will be updating MUCH slower now. *sigh* and also please no silent readers! you guys should comment! don't make me sad~ T^T