"Sumi. Aren't you going to get in the water?"  someone asks me. I shook my head. The water was frightening. Just thinking about being submerged in the pool had me shaken up. After last week, I had been completely traumatized. I will never forget the feeling-- it was like my soul was slowly being out of my body. Water rushed into my lungs, and my last breath of air had escaped me. I never want to feel that ever again. I wasn't ready to die.

My classmate gave me a playful shove near the side of the pool, but I was so lost in my thoughts that I almost fell in. I let out a scream, so loud that the whole class and everyone in the pool had heard me. My classmate took a step back as I turned around, furious. "What the is your problem?!" I shouted. "Don't you ever do that again." I bared my teeth at her, feeling my goosebumps all over my bare arms and legs.

She sneered at me. "What's your problem? It was only a joke. No wonder why everyone says you're a ." She laughed at her own snide remark before stepping closer to me. "And don't ever tell me what to do. I can do-" Another shove to my shoulders. "-whatever I want. I don't care about what you think."

At this point, everyone had crowded around us. The teacher blew the whistle at us as he got up from his chair from the other side of the pool. She shoved me again. Not wanting to let her get the better of me, I let out a scream as I sent my right fist flying into her nose. She welped as she staggered backwards, a deep crimson dripping from where her hand sheilded her nose. The class began to chatter, some of the boys hollering while others stared at me in shock. I began to cry, turning around so I could walk away from what I had done. I was shaking terribly. Every part of my body had become numb.

Without realizing it wasn't over yet, the girl tackled me hard, and both of our bodies smashed into the icy cold water.

I woke up with a loud, loud scream.

Sweat dripped down from the side of my temple as I gasped for air-- inhaling so hard it looked like I fighting for my life, like I was suffocating. I was still shaking, and I could feel my body go cold. I began to sob, ugly tears streaming down my cheeks in agony. I hated living like this. I hated not being able to cope with it.

Baekhyun came rushing into the room, frightened. "What the-- Sumi?! Are you okay?" He ran to my spot on the couch, rushing over to me. I shook my head in the midst of my tears, closing my eyes. The whole room was spinning and I couldn't make sense of where I was. He wrapped his arms around me and began to rock back and forth. He stayed quiet while I sobbed into his shoulder, patiently waiting for me to calm down.

Chanyeol darted to the room at this point. "Oh crap-- Is she okay?" he asked, sitting down on my other side. Baekhyun shrugged and continued rubbing litle circles on my back. I held on tightly to his shirt as I curled up next to him. "I think she was having a panic attack from her dream. She woke up screaming," Baekhyun explained.

Chanyeol sighed. "It's probably a panic attack. She's kinda known for having them-- she used to break down a lot at school."

"Really?" Baekhyun questioned. He stopped swaying back and forth. I could feel him squeeze me tighter. "How?"

"Well one time we had a class trip to the beach and she couldn't go into the ocean. The other time she punched a girl next to the pool and gave her a bloody nose," Chanyeol said, getting up from the sofa.

"What?! Our little Sumi actually punched someone in the nose?" Baekhyun laughed. His chest moved to his laughter. It calmed me down a little.

Chanyeol laughed slightly to go along with Baekhyun. "I know right? I was crazy-- you should've been there. I'm gonna go get her some water."

With Chanyeol gone, the room fell silent again. Baekhyun ran his fingers through my hair, and I let out a heavy sigh. I felt that I could breathe easy again in his arms. My sobbing ceased into long, heavy breaths. I nuzzled my head into his neck, feeling embarrased over how wet my face was with my own tears. "Do you hate the water?" he asked slowly, wrapping both his hands around my back.

I took a few seconds to answer him. I haven't really talked about my trauma with anyone else. But for some reason, I felt that Baekhyun was my only exception.

"I hate it."