"Appa?"

His father didn't respond at once. His wide eyes stared at his father's back, hunched in distress. His tiny feet lead him to where the blonde man sat and the little boy tried to look for his father's face. Unfortunately, it was covered with the man's hands. While Jongin's height only reached the older's half arms when the man sat, he tiptoed slightly to hold those big hands in his tiny ones. He whined sadly when his father wouldn't budge.

"Appa~"

He tried again once more but to no avail. His small mouth puckered ever so slightly and his cheeks puffing. He gave up doing what he intended to do, instead he leaned forward on the man's knee. The small child uttered no words. As much as he wanted to, as much as he wanted his father to smile as the man always did, as much as he wanted the man to assure him that he was okay, the child just couldn't.

He didn't understand a thing.

Just yesterday, he and his parents were lazying on the couch, watching movies which ended up Jongin fell asleep on top of their parents. His head on his mother's chest and half of his body on his father's stomach. He still remember his father tucked him to his bed and pat his head while his mother kissed his forehead. He remembered his eyes opened slightly to see his father rubbing his mother's cheek as the taller man smiled. He remembered when his mother hugged his father tightly, his father's face twisted into confusion. He couldn't see his mother's face as it was buried inside his father's chest. What he saw though, was the taller man's shirt was wet right on the chest area. He didn't know what happen next because his eyes felt heavy at that moment and he couldn't deny the sleep that overcome his senses.

But now, he saw his father sat on his and his wife's bed. Hands palming his handsome and sharp face. Jongin could even feel vibration come from the man. The small child looked up to his father and his wide eyes turned sad.

He was only 5.

He didn't understand why his father was like this.

The man was strong. Very strong in his eyes.

But now, the man looked like... he had lost his source of power. Jongin couldn't find the word to describe it.

But somehow, his small beating heart ache so much. So much that Jongin wanted to cry. He couldn't get rid of the pain he felt in his chest. It wasn't exactly physical because he didn't feel the same pain when he grazed his knee. It was not the same as when his thumb was prickled by a needle. His chest felt heavy. As if something almost squeeze the air out of his body.

Jongin blinked when something fell on his hair. He touched his hair and blindly searched for it only to pull back once his fingers got a feel of it.

Water? Was it raining inside their house? As far as Jongin know, the only rain inside their house was in the bathroom. When he was about to take a shower with his mother or father. But when does his parents put that thing inside their room?

His brows furrowed in confusion cutely and he looked up, only to have his mouth dropped slightly.

No. It wasn't raining.

It was his father.

The water fell from his father face. No, after the child took a better look between the man's long fingers, it came from the man's eyes.

Realization dawned on him.

His father, his strong and mighty father -as he always thought the man was-,

..., was crying.

Soon he heard his father exhaled shakily. More tears dropped onto his chubby face. Jongin wiped it with the sleeves of his shirt. He tried one more time to call his father.

"Appa...?"

And to his success, the man finally lowered his hands. His father stared at him with such an unreadable expression.

Jongin gasped when suddenly he was enveloped in the man's arms. Hugging, covering him into the man's stomach. Jongin's small arms tried to hug the man back, but it only reached the man's side. He felt the man shook as sobs fell from his father's lips, right on top of his head crown.

"Why? ... w-why Junmyeon..."

Hearing the whisper from the man, his chest felt more heavier than before. His head spinning, almost made him groaned in discomfort. He was unsure of what happened right now. He felt his heartbeat quickened and his eyes hot. He tried to blink them rapidly, only resulting his vision blurred.

He was crying.

He didn't know if his father felt it or not because his big fat tears fell on the man's dark blue shirt. Jongin whimpered because of this weird feeling swirling inside his tummy. It didn't feel nice at all. In fact it made he wanted to cry more.

"A-appa..."

On instinct, he called out his father in search of comfort. He was the closest to him now, he didn't know where his mother was right now. He only caught his father on their room, no signs of his mother in this very room at all. Now that he thought of it, the very moment he entered his parent's room, his tummy felt weird.

"Ssshh... it's alright Jongin. It's alright... don't cry baby. Daddy is here," the last words came out in his second mother language, English.

The small child was crying into the man's stomach. The man rubbing his small back comfortingly,...or maybe he was comforting himself too. The man gained a very small bit composure, he tried to be strong in front of his son. The child need his comfort more than he did right now.

But...who will going to comfort him from now on?

The letter, which now almost lay forgotten beside him, was the proof of the moment where his fear finally came true. It started when he felt there was something wrong with his spouse after they went into their car after Jongin's check up on a hospital. But what was it, he couldn't grab it. It was as if he was hallucinating things, but he was so sure the feeling was there. But what?

"I want- *hiccup*... I wan't Umma~"

He froze when he heard Jongin whined. Begging to see his mother. To be inside those warms hands belongs to his mother. To feel the soothing feeling when he always feel sad. To be comfored by that warm smile and angelic face.

But none of them he could give now. Not when he too need them more than his son did.

Their angel left them.

I'm sorry, Yifan. Take care of Jongin

Love,

Junmyeon