The ride home felt completely different, I almost scrunched myself as far away from Jongup as possible. Not because he disgusted me. Not because i didn't have feelings for him, because i did have feelings for him. But, I had stronger feelings for Zelo. After all Zelo and i had been together months and expirenced things together. We had even come out to the public about our relationship. I couldn't dump him for Jongup because of a small kiss could I?

I kept repeating the kiss in my head. We pulled into the hospital and I almost raced up to the elevator and to Himchan. I needed someone to discuss this with and I knew he was the one for girl drama. Plus he is the umma of the group. I grabbed his arm and tugged.

"Darling, How are y--" He couldn't finish because i vicious ripped him from the hospital room and away into a seperate private waiting area. 

i was almost breathing hard, i was upset. I had betrayed Zelo or was it Jongup betraying Zelo by kissing me. I didn't go in for the kiss, but i did kiss back. My mind was flooding with words. Almost busting my brains ", heartbreaker, betrayed, worthless" What would the fans call me, if they knew? Would Zelo forgive me if i told him? Would he hurt Jongup?

I was gasping for air trying to speak to Himchan. 

"Honey, whats wrong?" he said distorting his face and pursing his lips in consern. 

"Promise me you WILL NOT tell a soul"  I stated assertively. He seemed confused at first but held out his pinky like he knew i would make him. We interlocked pinkies and kissed our thumbs. That was our bond of a secret.

I pulled my feet up into the waiting room chair and wrapped my arms around them. i looked down at my toes. 

"J-J-Jongup kissed me," I stuttered out. His jaw almost dropped. His expression almost immediately transitioned to anger and he balled his hand into a fist.

"You have to tell Junhong hyung." Himchan answered through is obvious gritted teeth.

"I don't want him to hurt Jongup-ah," i argued.

"Do you have feelings for Jongup?" Himchan asked.

"No." I lied.

"If you are lying, just think of who you love more. Who is worth more. Who will cause less hurt." Himchan stood. "Think it all through before you make the decision."

He exited the waiting area and i followed swiftly behind.

"Where did you run off to so fast with Himchan hyung?" Zelo asked smiling and lacing his arm around my waist. Jongup looked up from his phone and gave a stare of hate to the back of Zelo's head. Himchan shot the same look at Jongup from the couch while  Daehyun was sitting and enjoying breakfast with Yongguk.  

"I think i am going to go home and change my clothes and get stuff for you guys to freshen up." i said kissing his cheek and avoiding the question. 

"I'll go too" Jongup added quickly standing and adjusting his shirt.

"No you won't!" Himchan almost ordered. " I am going, i dont want you two children messing up the dorm."

Jongup got a signal that Himchan knew and sat down.  No one argued on that statement. Umma had spoken. Zelo had programmed himself to not be jealous of the members. But, once i tell him about Jongup i don't know who he will trust.  

"Okay babe." he said onto my temple and let Himchan lead me from the room.

We walked and my flip flops made an annoying racket walking to the elevator. Himchan was silent, which was unusual. He pressed the elevators button  and we waited. We walked out to Zelo's car and he drove us back to the dorm. He unlocked the door and he paced. 

"What is wrong?" I asked. 

"You know," He snapped at me. I sat down on the couch and looked up at him touching his chin and thinking. 

"Himchan, please calm down you know i am going to tell im it is already clenching my heart!" 

"When?" He asked running his fingers through his black hair, then throwing them down. Seeing him angry made me upset and i was quivering. 

"I'm sorry," I whispered. 

"I'm sorry Maiya i am not angry with you. I am angry with Jongup. This is his fault not yours."  I clutched a pillow laying next to me and buried my face in it. My heart feels as if it turned into metal and fell to the bottom of my abdormen. "You pack the stuff," i began "I need a shower."

I got up from the couch and headed to the shower down the hall. The same one Zelo had showered in the day before and our heated kiss had occured.

I peeled off the day old clothes and let them lay in a pile on the floor.  I was standing in front of the mirror and i leaned to start the shower. i turned it on the hottest setting i could and waited for the water to heat. Meanwhile i looked in the mirror at my bare, rather chubby body. I could see the steam in the air and i knew the water was the right temperature. I pulled back the curtain and stepped into the shower letting the water fall on me. The water created a layer of warmth around me. I closed my eyes, imagining Jongup's kiss once again. He had grabbed my neck, kissed me passionately. He ran his hand up my side. It was heated and y. His tongue begged for entry more than Zelo's ever did. As if he had been waiting for this moment endlessly. He gently laid me against the SUV and continued kissing me moving his hands every couple moments. My waist, my legs, my neck.. I was definately enjoying his passion when my mind drifted to reality when i pushed him off of me.

When i pushed him off, his face almost gave the look of a child who spilt milk on the floor. The IT WAS AN ACCIDENT I SWEAR kind of look.  I washed my body with a wonderful fruity smelling soap and thoroughly cleaned my hair. I ended my shower and draped the towel over me. Thinking Himchan wasn't near i walked into Zelo's room and began to change. The door was cracked and i changed in front of the dresser when Himchan walked by, i was in a pair of Zelo's sleep pants and my bra swiping on some deoderant. His eyes got wide and he laughed closing the door all the way. I quickly felt embarassed. Himchan may be the Umma, but he is a man. Oh god.

I finished dressing and walked into the kitchen where Himchan was sitting at the table drinking a bottle of water. 

"Sorry about that" i said embarassed, 'I wasn't thinking."

"It's okay you have nothing to be embarassed about." he avoided my gaze. "Zelo's a lucky guy you know" He laughed. 

For once in my life i didn't feel down on myself in that moment. "Thank you Channie" i said. 

"Now I know why Zelo is always talking about your chest" he let out another laugh. 

I playfully hit him and opened the front door. 

"Are you ready?" 

He got up with the backpack of supplies and i heard the rattle of the keys. That was some comic relief. thank god for that. 

(At the hospital)

"You two behaved didn't you," Zelo teased noticing my wet hair. "Oh yes we did!" Himchan chuckled.

I had been thinking of telling Zelo about the Jongup kiss the entire ride here and i was ready. 

"Zelo?" I asked looking up at him with puppy eyes.

"Yes," He smiled. 

"Can i talk to you?" 

"Sure babe what is it?"

"We need to exit the room." He gave me a look of worry and followed me out of the room.

He was looking down at me and i coughed to clear my throat.

"This morning--" He nodded hanging on my every word. "Some thing happened."

He stared down at me. "Don't freak out, okay?" 

He nodded a full yes. "Jongup he-- uh-- kissed me" 

His eyes becaming droopy and he said "what:"

"Jongup he hee" I didn't finish before Zelo slammed his fist into the wall next to my head making a loud noise. It made me flinch. Jongup rushed out of the hospital room first of course. Probably wondering if Zelo had hit me. 

"YOU BASTARD!" Zelo yelled slamming Jongup into the wall. His fist plunged into Jongup's stomach 5 times before he began coughing in agony. His fist connected with Jongup's face and the impact knocked him to the cold tile flooring. 

"Don't hurt him!" I squealed. "Zelo you are the one i want! Please stop!" I noticed the entire time Jongup refused to fight back. Zelo kept hitting him until those words entered his ears. Then, he dropped the corner of Jongup's shirt collar and let him lay there. Zelo slammed his forearms onto the wall and rested his head inbetween in arms, breathing heavy. "You PIECE OF " He yelled at the wall. "You know i love her more than life and you betray me!" He was doing all of this yelling and screaming out of love for me. I rushed to Jongup's aid. His body laying on the floor breathing and his eyes relaxing closed. 

"Zelo! You could've really hurt him! Are you crazy?!" I shouted at him.  Yongguk heard and opened the curtain watching all the action take place. 

Zelo threw down his hat down at us and a tear escaped his eye, "Maybe I am i don't know, but all i do know is i am out of here!"