looked at my reflection on the mirror of the dresser. After 30 minutes of finding the right dress and 20 more for make up, I finally had the right outfit. I managed to pull off the stressed expression and dabbed the beads of sweat that formed with a tissue. This was the first time I was wearing a dress since… highschool. I wasn’t the type of person who’s used to exposing skin. I actually hated it, it was too cold in Korea. Nervously, I twisted the doorknob and stepped outside. My eyes wandered the hall, searching for Kyungsoo but he was nowhere to be found. I made it to the top of the stairs and that’s when I saw him. He was dressed casually in a duvet coat, a dark blue thermal under it. He was leaned back to the wall in a relaxed manner, his feet prompt up and his focus on his phone.

I took deep breathes before making few steps down the stairs. I cautiously held the wooden railing with sweaty palms, not wanting to fall and embarrass myself. Hearing my footsteps, he straightened up.

“I didn’t know girls took this much t-t…” He dropped his phone.

I looked up from my feet and faced him, I could make out his expression eventhough I wasn’t even halfway down the flight of steps. He stared at me, his mouth opened and closed like a goldfish. I felt so self-conscious right now, with his beautiful, round eyes gazing straight at me. I bit my lip in shyness and felt heat creeping up al over my body, especially my cheeks. With every step, my heart rate would accelerate to the maximum. With every click of my heels, my steps would get more unsteady. I slight breeze rushed through my hair as got to the last step, making my hair flail behind me. My eyes wandered everywhere as he stood there, still staring at me with that amazed look. His voice was finally able to break out from his gaping mouth but in a stammer.

“Y-you look s-so b-beautiful.” He stammered before rubbing the back of his neck in embarrassment and then began staring again. I looked up from the floor, taking quick glances at him before looking down again. His soft cheeks were tinted with fair pink.

“Thank you.” I said, using all the confidence I have to not stutter. I bent down to pick up his phone and so did he, making his fingers brush against mine. Waves of sparks zoomed through my body from his featherlike touch. I wonder if he feels the same things I feel when we’re in contact. My head faced the door, the only way out of this uncomfortable state. “Come on, let’s go.” I said. Before the situation could get more awkward, I snatched my scarf off the hook and grabbed his hand. I pulled him with me as I aimed for the door but stopped halfway when Kyungsoo jerked me backwards. My body crashed into his and his arms wrapped around me tightly. We stayed like that for a few minutes, our figures moulding together. I dug my head in his chest, hugging him by the waist. Those feelings of love at sight came back to me, I didn’t know why. I’ve never felt this shy with him until today. He pulled away before placing his smooth hand on my cheek. My hand automatically covered his, feeling his soft fingers.

“Kim Hye Seuk, I’ve been meaning to say this to you, not as your boyfriend but now as your husband. I want you to know that I love you more than anything in the world. I have never cared, never loved someone as much as I love you. You are the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen. Everything about you drives me crazy, you know that?” He said, giving my forhead a gentle kiss.

“All the guys in the world are jealous of me,

Sesangnamjadeul modu nalbeureowohae     They must be jealous to death of me, for having you”

                                                                        Noreul gajin naega jiituna jukgennabwa

He sang, his voice full of passion and sincerity. I didn’t know he could sing until now, it was a waste if he kept it from me forever. His voice was so alluring, bringing goosebumps to my arms. The almosphere changed, tranquility filled the room and felt as if there were only two of us in this world. The sound from his vocal cords was so mesmerizing, I didn’t realize he had took the scarf that was in my hold. Those lines resonated in my mind, replaying and rewinding. My heart beated faster, never in my life have I felt so loved than this moment. More harmonious lyrics greeted me while he wrapped the wool scarf around my neck.

“I don’t know why, this unconditional emotion.

I don’t know why, jeoldaejoegin igamjeong

                                                                         Did I ever imagine?”

                                                                       Seanggakjocha haesseulkka

“Next to me, as I become a better guy

Nae gyeoto isseulttae nam jeomjeom daedahan namjaga daedo

                                                                      You shine more brightly”

                                                                     Bitnaneun geol

I feel my self falling into a deep trance as I stared into his black, profound eyes. Those eyes held an gentle, affectionate gaze, sending a light vibration through my body.

“I can’t imagine you being with anyone other than me. Hye Seuk, I don’t want to lose you…” I reluctantly pulled away from his deep gaze when I heard his sad, pleading voice. My brows pinched together. How could he even think like that? A spark of anger suddenly ignited and I grabbed the collar of his jacket tightly. I pulled him closer, only a few centimeters away till our noses touch.

“Yah, Do Kyungsoo. You listen here and listen good. I’ll never leave you and I’ll aways be here for you. There’s no other guy I’ll love more than you. Arraseo?” I said angrily. My left brow raised up, demanding a one word yes-or-no answer. He was so taken aback from your outburst he only replied with numerous nods. I softened at his cute, innocent face. Only my one and only Kyungsoo could do this to me. I kissed his nose and earned one of his dashing smiles again. My hand slid down his arm and interwind our hands together, making our rings clink in unison. I pulled him and exited the house. The icy, cold air instantly greeted us with few rays of light. The clouds were slowly moving in the vast, blue sky. Today was going to be a great day… especially with Kyungsoo around.

XOXO

My shoes tapped against the firm ground as I stared at the building in front of me. Reminiscence of our first encounter rerun in my head, making a smile form on my face. Our first meet was so strange yet funny at the same. This building held great memories of Kyungsoo and me. I recalled that day we bumped into each other and remembered the his childish face back then.

“Can you pick me up? You can? Okay, I’m at…” I looked at my current location and faced up at the shop’s sign. EXOTIC Bakery. Hmm…What a weird name. “I’m at the EXOTIC Bakery. Do you know where that is?” I asked and got a ‘yes’ as an answer. Pleased, I locked my phone and waited next to the curb. A few minuts passed had passed and I got a little impatient. I wasn’t one of those people who like to wait long, I never was. To pass the time I took out my phone and plugged in the headphones. My head bobbed up to VIXX’s new song, On and On and SHINee’s Why So Serious. They both were my favourite boy group as they were very charismatic and performs very well with their dances. 15 minutes had flown and gone away and my foot tapped impatiently. I looked for any signs of my friends car, my hair swayed as I turned left and right.

I was in vain and I couldn’t stand freezing in the cold alone so I decided to have a quick snack at that weirdly-named bakery. My head moved to my music and I hadn’t notice the person in front of me. I accidentally bumped into him, making the box of muffins he was holding fall and scatter to the ground. I mentally slapped myself for being so careless and immediately picked up the dropped contents. I nodded up and down, repeatingly saying sorry for my recklessness. The boy didn’t seem to mind waved his hands, signaling it was okay. The boy had brown, beautiful orbs which lured me into staring them. His hands fumbled and trembled as he quickly put the muffins in the box. Good thing they were wrapped, or else I’ll be smashing my piggy bank tonight. Not wanting to feel useless, I gathered the other muffins and dropped them in the box. I reached for the last delicious-looking muffin and grabbed it when another hand covered mine for the same attempt.

My eyes wandered up and met those big, beautiful eyes again. They stared at me, making heat creep up my cheeks. The back of my hand felt moist as it was covered with his pale hand. He was sweating. His squishy cheeks were brushed with light pink which was becoming more darker and noticeable. I was so captivated by his perfect features and tantalizing eyes, I couldn’t move an inch. I was frozen under his gaze but I seemed to like it. His fluffy hair fluttered as the cold breeze hit, the brown leaves racing down the pavement. It was as if time had stopped and everything around me got in slow motion. Is this ‘love at first sight’? The boy pulled his hand away and coughed making me somewhat disappointed. I dropped the muffin in the box and straightened up, regaining my composure. He did too as he held the box tightly in his hands. An awkward silence filled the air, only the sound of roaring engines heard. I brought all my courage to say something, but it came out a stutter and an uncontemplated question . “I-I’m s-sorry. W-What’s your name?” I realized what I said and covered my mouth. “No. Youdon’thavetosayanything,haha.Don’tmindmeI’mjustleaving. Godoyourwork.” I said as quick as possible before turning around to escape embarrassment. I walked hastily down the pavement. Why did I say that? I’m bad at first impressions when it comes to boys. That’s why I never neared them, scared I might fool and embarrass myself again. I had reached the end of the street and I pondered whether to turn right or left. I was just about to turn right when someone grabbed my wrist, making me look behind.

“It’s Kyungsoo. Do Kyungsoo, you really walk fast. What’s yours?” He said in an exhausted pant. He looked as if he had just came back from the olympics, beads of sweat trickled down his forehead. His chest risen and fell and his hand held his knees, the other still holding my wrist. When I didn’t answer, he looked up at me with those round eyes again. My voice maged to break out. “Hye Seuk. Kim Hye Seuk. But you can call me Joo.” I said shyly, looking at the ground. I could see his mouth twitch up from my side view. He straightened up before speaking.

“So… Joo. Want to grab a latte with me?” He said cheerily, his mouth forming a grin. My eyes brightenes and I couldn’t help be affected by his wonderful smile. I definitely knew the answer.

I smiled as I recalled the lucky encounter. I saw a familiar figure in the distant, wearing a versity jacket and jeans. His hair was a dark brown, light and fluffy. From the looks of it, he seems to depressed and frustrated. As he came closer, the light bulb in my head was finally . It’s Kyungsoo’s best friend. They’ve been close since childhood and they’re as close as brothers. He was very supportive when it comes to Kyungsoo and it was great that he was a very understanding and caring person. Kyungsoo looks up to him as an idol and almost a father. I softened as he came closer, it was Kai. He ruffled his hair like he was troubled with something. His vision was on the ground and he almost walked past me when I called his name. He looked to my direction, his forehead creasing. His furrow disappeard and his eyes caught mine. Those eyes were red and watery as the sun shined on them. Was he crying?

“Hi… Joo. How are you doing?” He said, turning to face me.

“Fine. How about you? You look troubled.”

“…Just tired. I’ve heard, you’re married to Kyungsoo. Congratulations.” He said with no emotion.

“Yeah. I’m so happy.” I said before showing him the silver ring. I smiled at him but he didn’t seem to return it. It was weird. Silence filled the air and just as I was about to ask him something, he said the words I last expect him to.

“You shouldn’t marry him.” I stared at him in bewilderment. Am I hearing wrong? Aren’t  supposed to be greeted with a very cheerful congratulation? I blinked a few times before asking what he said. He answered with the same words, still no emotion. Before I can say anything else, he beat me to it.

“He’s not right for you. He doesn’t deserve you.”

“Who are you to tell me who I can marry?!” I snapped back, making him flinch. He grabbed both of my arms, pulling me closer.

“I fell in love with you the moment I saw you at school. I knew you longer than him and I’m better. I’ve should’ve been your boyfriend not him!... Please… Don’t marry him…” He said breathlessly, sadness etched in his voice. I struggled in his grip but he didn’t let go of me.

“I deserve you. I’m better, I’ll show you. Just please don’t marry him…” He said desperately. It was rare to see him this way. He always had the girls, everything he wanted. But why did he have to choose me? Before I could push him back he cupped my face bringing it closer. His mouth crushed against mine forcefully wanting to part them but I didn’t let him. He held the nape of my neck roughly bringing my mouth deeper into the kiss. He soon managed part them open. My eyes brimmed with tears as I witnessed the person in front of me. He wasn’t the Kai I knew anymore, he wasn’t that cheerful guy that would always wish me luck and give me encouraging word when I needed them. In front of me was a distressed stranger looking for affection. But I couldn’t give him any, my heart was already taken. My eyes couldn't hold the tears any longer and I cried helplessly. The tears cascaded down my cheeks and rolled onto his. It was then that he had stopped and realized.

He ruffled his hair in frustration, regret visible in his eyes. “Joo… I’m sorry. Please forgive me…” Before he could say anymore , my hand built up strength and slapped his face. His face turned to the brick wall beside us, his cheeks a stinging red. He bit his lip, enduring the pain. He looked at me with full dejection and sadness. I couldn’t look at him like that, it was so foreign. He walked towards me and took my hand. I pulled it back but he grabbed it back. He looked at me with pleading eyes before opening his mouth to say something.

“Please… just this once.” He interlaced his fingers with mine and his arms slipped around my waist. He pulled me in his embrace and propped his head on top of mine. He sighed and I could feel something small and wet drop on my hair. I looked down, I couldn’t imagine him crying because of me. It was so surreal. He looked down at me. “Do you know what it feels like loving someone but couldn’t confess it? It hurst so much. I was a coward and I just couldn’t face you without stuttering or doing something stupid. But I know what hurts even more. Seeing you with another guy, smiling because of him and not me. The pain seem to add more when the guy is my best mate. Why was I such a coward, so late to tell you that I love you?” He asked, more to himself than me.

“Eventhough you were with him, I still couldn’t stop thinking about you. I tried to forget you, avoid you when I can but my footsteps always lead to you. Why did you have to be so breath-taking that I couldn’t let go?” This time he looked at me hoping for an answer but I just looked away. I couldn’t succumb into his desperate eyes. He sighed and placed his lips on my forehead for the last time. His heart ached as he slowly let go of my hand, breaking into tiny little pieces. He turned around and dug his hands in his pocket. He walked a few steps before stopping. His head turned making me see his side profile.

“I’ll never stop loving you until my heart stops beating.” I tear escaped and rolled down his cheeks before turning around again and walked away. I stared as his figure grew smaller and eventually disappering into the horizon. I quickly wiped the tears, I didn’t want to show Kyungsoo I was crying. I turned around and got the shock of my life.

Kyungsoo was standing there, his eyes hurt and full of betrayal. “Kyungsoo let me expla-“ He cut me off with a question. “What were you doing with him… so close?” His eyes darkened. I couldn’t believe what he was saying. We just made the bond of our life, always to support each other in the future and he’s already doubting me? I wanted to say something, anything but I was so shocked. “I’ve just proposed to you and you’re already doing this?” He said angrily, his hands balling into a fist. Tears threatened to flow down my cheeks again as he walked away from me. Me feet were stapled to the grounds and my knees trembling. I wiped the tears away and run towards him, grabbing his arm.

“Please, wait. Let me explain.” He shoved my arm away and yelled. “Leave me alone!” It was the first time he ever shouted or raised his voice at me. I stepped back shakily. My life had turned upside down from having the best day of my life to being shattered and thrown away. He sighed as he saw me trembling, hot tears smeared my face. “Just leave me alone. I need some time to think.” He said before giving me one last look then walking away.

I held to the last thing I had from him. I held my fingers finding the one thing I needed. Only it wan’t there. It’s gone. I searched into my purse, my pockets but it was nowhere to be found. It was gone. The only thing to remember him was gone.

The ring, it’s gone.

Why me?