"So, does your brother know you're here with me?" Donghae asked as he scooped up his mint flavored ice cream and brought it to his mouth. I pursed my lips and shook my head a little,"Nah, he thinks I'm out doing some grocery shopping." I shrugged,"But don't worry, I won't let them lay a hand on you." I reassured Donghae. He cleared his throat,"I don't really care if they have a problem with me." he rubbed the back of his neck,"I just didn't want you to get in trouble."

"I didn't want your brother and the exo guys to give you a hard time if they found out you were with me. I could care less if they hated my guts and wanted to beat the crap out of me." he swirled his ice cream around. I tightened my grip on my spoon a little, he was worried about me? Donghae smiled at me,"But um, I'm glad you could hang out with me today." I bit my lower lip and nodded,"Me too."

"Thanks for walking me home Donghae." I smiled slightly as we stopped a block away from my house. I told him he could walk me half way, not wanting to risk the chance of the guys catching us together. Donghae smiled back sweetly,"No problem." We stood there in silence. I tried everything to avoid his stare. He wanted to say something, anything, but couldn't bring himself to break the akward silence. I cleared my throat,"Well I-"

Donghae cut me off abruptly and grabbed my waist, pulling me to him and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. I was shocked, too shocked infact. He took my not pushing him away as an acceptance of his kiss. He pulled me closer to him and pulled away slowly. I loooked up at him and he looked down at me with pink cheeks. Probably shocked as well at what had just occured. His hold around my waist started to loosen up and I pulled away, his arms falling to his side. He looked away, trying to avoid my eyes,"I'm sorry I cou-"

"You shouldn't have done that." I said firmly. Donghae tensed up and scrunched up his face. I balled up my fists,"You really shouldn't have." Donghae's face faltered and I felt my heart drop. I hated doing this. I hated it.

"I know you like me more than a friend Donghae." I said. Donghae looked at me with a frown,"I don't know what came over me, I just." he sighed,"I screwed up." I nodded,"I know." He bit his lower lip,"Can't you give me a chance?" he asked almost desperately. I could feel my insides twisting and turning. I shook my head,"I'm sorry. I can't" I took in a deep breath. I had to get this over with before it turned into something bigger than I could handle.

"I can't give you a chance Donghae and I'm sorry for it. I only want to be friends." I turned around, not wanting to look at his crushed expression any longer. The guilt was building up, I had to get out of there. "I had fun today though. Thanks for walking me home. I'll see you at school, bye Donghae." I said and walked away quickly. But as I was walking away I heard Donghae say,"You're a cruel girl Kim Lana."

I nodded as I kept walking away,"I know."

I pulled my keys out of my bag and opened the front door. As I closed the door behind me Sehun came out from the kitchen with a curious look,"Oh? Where have you been?" Sehun asked. I ignored him as I took off my shoes and walked past him. I didn't want to talk to anyone right now. I ran up the stairs to my bedroom and slammed it behind me. I felt like the biggest douche in the world right now. He was such a nice guy. He was nothing but nice. But I went and crushed him.

It , it really did.

I hated being the bad guy. I hated pushing away people who I could possibly have a relationship with all because of the stupid secret. I took off my jacket, threw it to the ground and plopped onto my comfy bed. I snuggled into my pillow and sighed. Sometimes I just felt so alone. You wonder how I could feel so alone when I had 12 other people living with me right? It just isn't the same. I wanted a girl best friend you know? Someone who I could fangirl over boy bands with, someone who I could go shopping with, someone to give me their opinion about my hair. The guys tried their best filling in that spot but hey, guys will be guys right?

For as long as I can remember, I was always told that I didn't need anyone else but Suho and the guys. No one else mattered but them. Blood thicker than water. Everyone else but them would hurt and do nothing but decieve me.

I never met my parents, or rather, I don't remember them. Suho never talks about them, ever. None of the exo guys do either. We were all eachother's family and it was going to stay that way. No one leaves and no one comes in. It's kind of weird, the only childhood I can recall of mines is when I was 10 and up. I don't remember anything before that at all. I asked Suho, of course I had, but all he told me that the present is what  mattered and that the past is left behind for a reason.

I remember when I was 13, I had made a friend in my math class. Her name was Park Sora. She was a gem. We had so many things in common, we did everything together. Of course I did it behind the guys back. I didn't care about what they had to say, I finally had made a friend. I was happy. Until Suho found out, he was furious.

4 years ago

"You can't be friends with her anymore." Suho stated sternly with his hands on his hips. I rolled my eyes as I grabbed my school bag,"Whatever." I muttered and opened the front door,"You're not the boss of me."

Suho scoffed and grabbed my forearm tightly,"Yah, Kim Lana. I'm serious. Stop hanging out with her. She's no good." I tried to pull my arm away but his hold was tight. It started to hurt me but I didn't show it. I looked behind Suho and found the boys looking down and away from my gaze with sad expressions. I snickered,"Let go, I'm gonna be late for school."

Suho tightend his grip,"Have I taught you nothing? Didn't I teach you that we." he gestured to him and the exo guys,"We are all you need. You don't need anyone else." I stayed slient as I bit my lower lip. Suho sighed,"Lana. You can't be going around so freely like that. It's dangerous. Wh-"

"So you're saying that I can't make friends? That I'm not allowed to?" I cut him off and shot him a dirty look. He his lips,"Angel, it's not like that." he took in a deep breath,"No one can find out about us and what we are." I shook my head,"You don't think I know that? You think I'm gonna go and blurt it out to the damn world? I can see how much trust you actually have in me now." Suho pulled on my now throbbing arm,"I told you it's not like that dammnit!" he hollered. But it didn't faze me. The exo guys flinched behind Suho, not liking where this was going.

Chanyeol stepped forward and put a gentle hand on Suho's shoulder,"Hyung." he whispered,"Calm down." Suho shrugged his hand away and glared at me,"Lana, you better stop being her friend or else.

"Why?" I demanded,"Tell me why I should stop being her friend. Tell me exactly why I can't be like other normal girls who can go out and have fun with their other girl friends? Huh? Tell me why?"

"That's exactly why you need to stop being her friend." his grip on my arm was starting to loosen up. I pulled my arm away quickly and rubbed it. Suho's eyes softened and he balled up his fists,"It's because you're not normal Lana." he whispered,"Because of what we are it doesn't make you normal. We're all you need baby girl. The world is a cruel place."

"Lana?"

I snapped out of my sudden memory rush and frowned. I shook my head, stupid Suho.

There was a knock at my door,"Lana." the voice called again. I sighed,"What do you want Jongdae." Chen chuckled and opened my door. He came in with a bag of chips and plopped onto my bed,"I'm bored." he pouted and munched on a chip. I rolled my eyes and scooted over to make room for him. He smiled and laid down next to me,"Wanna play with me?" he asked cutely.

I laughed,"Why don't you go and bother Baekhyun? That always amuses you." I suggested. Chen shrugged,"He's busy doing an essay." I smiled and grabbed a chip from Chen's hand and stuffed it in my mouth. Chen frowned,"Yah! I was gonna eat that you fatty! There's a whole bag right here!" he lifted the bag of chips up for me to see,"Geez, theres no need to snatch food from my hand." he stuck his tongue out at me and I flicked his forehead,"Mianhe oppa." I teased.

Chen scoffed,"Oppa? Aigoo," he leaned down and smirked at me,"Call me oppa again baby."

"Yah!!! The hell is going on in here?"

Chen and I turned to the door and saw a fuming Chanyeol. Chen chuckled,"Get out Chanyeol, can't you see Lana and I are trying to have some private and personal time?" I stifled in a laugh and played along. I snuggled into Chen and nodded,"Yeah, so do you mind closing the door Chanyeol? I wanna give Jongdae oppa a big kiss." Chanyeol's jaw dropped,"BWOH?!"

Chen looked at me with a kissy face,"Awww, my baby wants a kiss?" he cooed,"Then come here." he grabbed my chin and leaned down. Chanyeol pannicked and ran towards us,"DON'T TOUCH HER YOU ERT!" he cried. Before Chen could kiss me Chanyeol ripped him away from me and wrapped me in his arms,"YEOBO HOW COULD YOU?!" he sobbed into my neck. Chen howled in laughter and rolled around the ground, clutching his stomach.

I sighed, what an idiot.