It was so busy busy time...

Like completely busy and after the last time, when I cried so badly, I didn't feel like writing... Sorry...

As for my preparations they are almost coming to the end... On the meantime I became an admin of soon-to-debut boys' fansite what made me even more busy... I already understand some Korean, esp from hearing, reading is still hard to do... ehhh I should study harder.

Nothing changed between me and J... 

As for Alex he is even more hideous than before... 

And as for my weird feelings for the person I shouldn't feel about this way - day after that photo he posted another one - smiling shyly, like he'd like to say "I'm sorry"... Somehow it's cheered me up.

***

IT'S TOMORROW!

I'm excited... I'm scared... I want to go already but I'm so afraid that I will fail. 

And it's going to be my 1st time going somehwere by a plane... Right now my mom is going crazy from worry - I keep on ensuring her that I'll be fine, but I'm not so sure about it myself... Completely different country, culture, language... And no one from my close, long time friends or family - they'll be far away...

"@alex_bolt has mentioned you" appeared on my phone screen.

"You are the most awesome person I know, you'll be fine. Besides if you'd feel lost, I'm going to help you :)"

"Then why you don't want to meet me?"

"I have a reason... Maybe one day I will be able to tell you... I'm sorry..."

"It's okay - thank you for always supporting me :) I feel better now"

"I need to go now... Write to me while you'll be getting into plane, okay?"

"I will! See ya"

Alex managed to calm me down a bit, but I was still really nervous. After checking for 100th time if I've packed everything and exchanging few messages with J, who was also busy packing, I took out paper and pencils to drag away my attention from tomorrow's departure.

***

My parents and younger bro took me to the train station - I was supposed to travel by train to nearest city having the airport. On the way I found out that J was assigned to different flight what made me more nervous, but I didn't wanted to show it in front of mom. 

We reached the station early so I still had some time till my train - my family had to go though, so after a bit teary goodbye and me ensuring them, that I will skype or at least message them every day, I was left alone.

I sat on the bench and spot of green among grey stone of the sidewalk catched my attention. I loked closer and I found out that  there were clowers. Then smile appeared on my face, because I've noticed, that one of them is four-leaf... I picked it up, kissed it slowly and put inside of my walled.

"It's a good sign" - I thought and somehow all my nervousness vanished away.

With heart full of hopes, I stepped on the train

***

I started to feel uneasy again when I was at the airport already. It was something completely new for me so the only thing I could do to not panic was straightly following instructions I've read on net before. Just as I promised I've sent a message to Alex. To my suprise he replied right away.

"Don't be afraid. It's going to be amazing - just like opening your wings and flying about the clouds. Fly high!"

I smiled and bravely boarded the plane

***

It was soooo amazing... I mean flying and seeing clouds passing by behind the window. I wish I could spread my wings and touch them.

***

He was sitting on the bed, holding the phone in his hands. In few hours she will be only few kilometers away from him... Yet for the good of both of them, he shouldn't meet her,  at least not as Alex that she knows so well.