Part 3
Crossing That Bridge
"Why?" Kiseop deadpans at the all too familiar entrance. His gaze traces the cheap, chipped, hideously pink paint, in all it's glory, standing proudly alongside half-dead browning trees. There's no doubt about it, this is the place.
Jaeseop massages a leaf between his fingers, earning a small crunching sound as it crumbles into his hands. A thoughtful look appears upon his face for a few seconds before he turns back to Kiseop, nonchalantly shoving his hands into his jean pockets. "What do you mean 'why'?" Jaeseop takes a breath, "Although I did imagine it a bit...differently."
"When you asked where the cafe was, I didn't think that this was what you meant."
Jaeseop can hear irritated breaths from behind, to which he smiles as he imagines the expression on Kiseop's face- the man dramatically pinching the bridge of his nose, a trace of a suppressed pout gracing his expression.
Kiseop's in every right to be angry, but Jaeseop's still within his rights too. After all, it is his job to cure Kiseop in any way that he sees fit. This is just what he sees fit.
"Think of it as a casual outing." Jaeseop turns to the other, grin stretching from ear to ear. He makes his way over and tugs on Kiseop's wrist, pulling him forward, through the cafe doors. The inner interior isn't much to marvel at either, and he can't help but wonder why Kiseop and Kyoungjae chose this as their "special" place. He supposes it's the people that matter, not the place, even if the place was this dingy and run down.
They take a seat in squeaky wooden chairs- but not without a few grumbles from Kiseop- and a sheepish looking waitress soon appears to take their orders. Kiseop orders first without even a glance at the menu while Jaeseop settles on a simple coffee.
"Do you ever drink anything other than coffee?" Kiseop grumbles. His mouth is pressed against his hand, so his voice comes out stuffy, his gaze settled bashfully on the floor. Even if it's a small one, it's a reaction- a vast improvement from a week ago- so Jaeseop chuckles and replies, teasingly.
"It depends if I keep myself up working on difficult patients like you."
Kiseop opens his mouth to retort, face turning a deep shade of red and that same (adorable- Jaeseop may add) pout returning upon his lips, but he bites down hard to keep it from showing and cooly looks to the floor.
"Difficult. You're the one that's difficult." Kiseop mutters under his breath in a diluted whine. Amused, Jaeseop leans forward and grins.
"What was that?" And he takes amusement in the flustered expression on his patient's face that follows.
"Nothing. I didn't say anything."
He thinks to himself that it just might be wrong to have this much fun with a patient- maybe he's crossing a boundary of some sort, an invisible doctor-client line made by the heavens above- but he retracts the idea when he decides that he probably crossed it a while ago when he called Kiseop out for a "casual" outing. And Jaeseop decides that this is okay because he hasn't stepped into the danger zone, and the outing isn't without reason either.
The beverages arrive momentarily while Kiseop is busy arguing just how creepy he thinks Jaeseop is, and Jaeseop is halfway between laughter and endearing smiles. Kiseop gives Jaeseop the evil eye and turns to his drink, slurping happily as soon as it's within his grasp.
"Don't you consume enough sugar in a day?"
"Well doctor," Kiseop gives Jaeseop a look, and the psychiatrist almost thinks that he meant to smile as he clenches his lips so tightly together but fails to keep the ends from curving up. "You're the one that diagnosed me with uni-whatever, right?"
"Unipolar disorder." Jaeseop interjects.
"That." He points, "If I'm so depressed then it might be best if you don't chastize me. You might obstruct my happiness or something."
Jaeseop laughs, cupping a hand over his mouth to keep from spewing coffee, "Obstruct your happiness, yeah right. You're a funny one, Kiseop-ssi."
And this time, Kiseop pouts for real. Jaeseop stops a watches, just watching, until Kiseop starts to feel self conscious, swipes at his face to make sure it isn't dirty, and stares back at the ground. And it's then that Jaeseop feels compelled to speak. He doesn't think, he just speaks.
"Kiseop-ssi." The waitress comes with a cake Kiseop ordered, and he picks at it with his fork. "Do you want to know why I brought you here? Why I picked this place?"
Kiseop freezes. His fingers tremble a bit as if he senses something bad.
"There's a reason. It's because I thought it would be best if you created some new memories."
Kiseop shovels some cake into his mouth. For some reason it doesn't taste as good as he imagined. It doesn't taste the same, so he shoves the plate away and tries to get the taste of fear out of his mouth.
"To replace the old ones."
His expression contorts and suddenly it isn't just fear he's tasting- it's disgust, it's avoidance, it's annoyance, ignorance, grief, sadness. It's his heart beating in his chest and the images in his mind. It's the bright smiles and laughs of the past and the same words repeating in his mind.
Replace. Replace. Replace.
And the next thing he knows, he's sobbing. His chair is flipped onto it's side about a foot away, and he's yelling something that even he can't understand. Jaeseop has the most bewildered expression on his face as he attempts to calm Kiseop down. He obviously hadn't anticipated this reaction and Kiseop feels the deep regret Jaeseop exerts but even that only breaches skin deep because he's blind to all, even the things that are easily spotted on the surface.
Everything sounds like he's under water until it finally comes back. Kiseop hears screaming and realizes that it's his.
"When did I ever say that I wanted you to replace my memories? Who told you that you could steal them away? Who?..." His voices falls to a whisper, "Who?" And with that, Kiseop bolts out the door, leaving everything behind.
It sounds like he's under water again. It feels like he's drowning in his tears.
He can't hear, he can't see, he can't feel.
And maybe that's why he doesn't notice Jaeseop gathering his belongings, bowing to the waitress, and sprinting out the door after him.
Dear god, it's been a while. I'm super sorry to subscribers, but I've been caught up in work and summer homework for the past few weeks. Part five is coming
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