I carelessly doodled on my paper, listening to the teacher talk about the future project the students are required to do. A few groans were heard before he continued with the explanation.

"You can have partners," my ears perked up at the word partners, "and I'm allowing you to choose your partner."

Unconsciously, my eyes traveled to the other side of the room, landing on Myungsoo who also had his gaze on me.

"You may go ahead and choose your partners," The teacher instructed a the class broke out in a chatter, roaming around to pair up with their friends. Before I knew it, Myungsoo had already ended up at my desk, grabbing my hand before dragging me over to his desk. I've always noticed he made me move whenever we paired up.

"You. Me. Partners," He stated as I raised an eyebrow at him.

" I like how you don't even bother to ask me," I rolled my eyes before taking a seat next to him. He gave me a goofy smile as I felt my insides flutter at the simple act.

"Cause I know you'd still pair up with me without me having to ask. I mean, who else would you be partners with?"

"You're making it sound like I have no friends. I have other people I can work with," I clucked my tongue at him in disapproval as he chuckled slightly.

"But you'd prefer to be my partner wouldn't you?" He pointed out as I sighed. "I give up with you Myungsoo."

"I win." He chuckled to himself like a little child and I couldn't help but shake my head in amusement. He responded with that all too familiar smile and I felt my stomach doing that weird churn again.

That little idiot is doing the weirdest things to me, I swear.

"Iseul!" I could see Myungsoo in the distance, waving his hand around in attempt to catch my attention. I walked a little faster before arriving at the basketball court and placing my backpack down on the ground.

"What took you so long?" He questioned, a slight pout forming upon his lips as I smiled meekly.

"Sorry. Took a while changing. Especially when you have someone running around with your shirt."

Myungsoo raised his eyebrow, a little smirk finding its way to his lips. "So you were running around half ?" He questioned, wiggling his eyebrows before earning a little smack on the head from me.

"You ert." A hearty laugh was earned from him in response. "Don't blame me. I'm at that age you know."

"Yeah. That age where you start becoming more stupid as the days go by?" I joke, bursting out into a fit of giggles from my own lame comeback. Myungsoo must have figured I was an idiot and laughed along as well.

One of the things I like about being around him is how carefree I can act. I can be the most retarded idiot on earth and he's still be okay with that.

The next few minutes were occupied with me sitting there, watching Myungsoo as he practiced basketball. This always reminds me of how he'd always question how I can sit there and watch him continuously without dying from the boredom.

And I'd always answer that I don't know. Because I really can't phrase why into words. There's something about him playing that captures me so much. The weird thing is that I don't even like sports. But somehow, I can never seem to get tired of watching him play.

"Myungsoo!" A sudden shout from the distance broke me out of my thoughts, along with distracting Myungsoo from his practicing. I turned around to see a girl heading in our direction, waving her hand around fervently in attempt to get Myungsoo's attention.

"Hi Myungsoo!" She waved, pulling him into a hug as a felt a slight pain hitting me in the chest. I honestly don't know why. It was just a hug.

"Hey Minhee." He greeted, flashing her a smile as she smiled back and I could feel myself starting to slowly become a bit sick in the stomach. I didn't like this feeling at all, and whatever it was, I would really appreciate it if it could go away.

"Are you practicing?" Minhee questioned, placing her bag down next to his and I could feel the feeling in my stomach get even worse.

"Yeah. I usually stay after to practice after pe," He replied, bouncing his basketball a few times before shooting, the ball making it through the hoop as I inwardly cheered for him.

"You made it in!" Minhee exclaimed, earning a timid smile from Myungsoo and I could feel myself shrinking away into the background.

I know I shouldn't be behaving like this considering that I knew how Myungsoo had a lot of friends, girls included. Yet I'm feeling so sick and ugly that it makes me want to hate myself for actually feeling this way. The more I sat there and watched them interact, the worse the feeling grew and I felt almost as if I'm just part of the background now.

Before being able to control myself, I got up, dusting the dust off my pants before grabbing my backpack and violin and walking away. Because something told me that even if I did, no one would even notice I was gone anyways.

"Why did you suddenly disappear yesterday?" Myungsoo appeared at my desk the next morning, a look of concern mixed with disapproval written all over his face.

"I needed to get going since it was getting late," I lied, because even if I were to try telling the truth, I wouldn't now how to anyways. Myungsoo frowned, giving me a look that made me feel as if I was guilty if something.

Technically, I was.

"I looked back and you were suddenly gone! Do you know how worried I was? I thought you were suddenly kidnapped or something!"

I raised my eyebrow at him. "Kidnapped? In the middle of a baseball court with other people there?"

"It's still possible!" Myungsoo insisted. "Anyways, thats not my point here," he continued, his frown becoming deeper, making a slight guilt start to form within me.

"You could have at least told me you were heading off. I would have walked you to the front gate to make sure you got picked up. Knowing you, you could have walked into a car that wasn't yours and then taken to Africa."

I gave him a weird look again, wondering how it's possible for a car to drive me all the way to Africa. There's a freaking ocean to cross for god's sake.

"Goodness Iseul, you know what I'm trying to say here," He looked at me seriously and I could feel myself shrinking under his gaze. His eyes suddenly softened as he stared at me, letting out a small sigh.

"I'm not mad at you. Just," His eyes gave off this feeling that I couldn't really describe. They were gentle, but at the same time, serious enough for you to know to take him seriously. "I was really worried for you, that's all. You just suddenly disappeared like that when usually, you would at least greet me before you went."

"Sorry.." I mumbled, feeling bad that I made him worry so much for me.

"Don't make me worry so much next time okay? I don't know what I'd do if something happened to you."

It was then when I felt truly guilty for even thinking that he wouldn't care. He's been caring for me since the start, so, why did I even think that he wouldn't anymore?

He suddenly pulled me into a hug, an awkward one if I must add because I was sitting on a chair with a table between us.

"You're a real pain in the , you know that?" He mumbled slightly, causing me to stifle a giggle. Pulling back from the hug, I stuck my tongue out slightly at him. "I could say the same to you."

"Mtungsoo!" A voice cried from the distance and I could slightly feel myself cringing at the familiar voice.

I turned around to see Minhee waving at Myungsoo through the window, who waved back and sent her a small smile.

I felt myself pouting slightly to myself  before letting out a small sigh.

This was going to be a long week.

I've been feeling really ugly these days. I'm not talking about the outside, not that I'm all too confident in my looks either, but on the inside. A sick feeling has been taking over me often and it's not that sick feeling like when you're having a cold. It's more of that nasty gut feeling that bothers you whenever you think of or see something.

And that feeling comes when the topic of Minhee comes up. I don't hate her, I'm being honest here, but its impossible for me to say I like her either.

She's been tagging along with Myungsoo a lot these days and it bothers me. What frustrates me is the question of why I'm becoming so bothered. I have absolutely no reason to be.

It's been what you would call some long weeks, maybe due to the fact that not a day went by without me having  that disturbing feeling.

Myungsoo and I have this thing where right after physical education, we'd spend a bit of time after school at the ball court. I'd just sit there and watched him play, practicing his shots.

But lately for the 3 weeks, Minhee stayed there with us as well. The moment the bell rang, it'd only be a couple minutes before she'd appear, joining us at the court.

And I'm bothered about it. This afterschool thing becomes, I don’t know, kind of our thing. The moment Minhee was there, she’d stick close to him and I’d feel somewhat ignored.

Frustration is eating at me because I have no idea of why I am behaving this way. Well actually, I do. Just the slightest idea of why I might be feeling this way, but I’m not admitting it. Because, I don’t think it’s true.

Jumping right to conclusions isn’t my thing. I don’t do that, or at least, I try hard not to. So, it’d be dangerous for me to even agree to the possibility I came up with.

I sighed, sitting there as I picked up tiny rocks as my fingers fiddled around with them, hearing Minhee’s voice talking to Myungsoo a few feet away. I would steal glances now and then, only to stop myself because I knew once I did, that feeling would get worse.

Still, being the stupid idiot I am, I looked up anyways, only to end up cursing at myself for looking. Because right the moment my eyes reached Myungsoo, I found them to be hugging.

I looked down, trying to control the throbbing pain within my body. Though this time, it wasn’t just in my stomach. I felt it in my heart.

Grabbing my bag and violin, I took off, the throbbing sensation still there as I repeatedly declined myself of the idea starting to fight back in my mind.

Because I knew if I admitted it, there was no way to turn back.

I like Myungsoo.

Author's Note - sorry for the extreme lack of updates. im trying, but life's just been so busy these days, I can't even keep up myself. I've been taking time to write litle by little at night in bed before I sleep to get this chapter out to you guys. Longest chapter so far, so enjoy! Happy reading and comments show me you're still here lol. Also, i just made a twitter, so check it out. my weird thoughts are all on there. 

https://twitter.com/ColorsofAutumn_