"Your birthday is coming up, isn't it?" JaeJoong was in her home's library reading a book about philosophy. She recognized it from when she was younger; her father always had it in his pile of books but was never picked up by him solely to read. 

"The big seventeen, but nothing good came from being sixteen so hopefully the seventeenth year is... kind." She closed her eyes hopefully. Her life was going slow, she felt, too planned as well. She needed change. 

"When I was seventeen, I had my first kiss." JaeJoong admitted. "It was okay." He shrugged, going back to reading. 

"What about you, I know your birthday passed but what do you wish for this year?"

"I've been thinking lately of going into the army, I have to serve my time, and I think now is the time."

"What?" She was caught off guard, he never mentioned that he never served and lately their almost relationship she would describe it as was going smoothly. 

"There has been no wedding talks lately, I've been meeting with the officials, I just need to tell my aunt and uncle..."

"I thought we were doing well." Her voice fell flat. 

"We are but I don't want to start a marriage only to leave a month in, I think this would be good. We could still continue what we have." He was hopeful, not wanting to hurt her but he could see it was too late.

"You should go. I have school tomorrow, it's getting late." She gave him a sad smile before leaving the room. 

He watched as she left leaving the door behind her open, "I'm pretty stupid for someone who thinks they are pretty capable." He sighed, putting the book back on the little pile of books that was always left on the desk. He left closing the door behind him, hoping all of this will come to a close soon. 

##

"You truly do have bad timing, and you told Haneul already, she must be heartbroken." Jaekyung sighed heavily; they were eating dinner that same night. But he noticed his aunt wasn't protesting the idea. 

"I think it's a great idea." His uncle cleared his throat. "It's a challenge but relationships are tested this way, I think it'll show if the two can make it last..." He thought aloud.

"I guess its official. But at least stay for her birthday." His aunt pleaded a little. 

"If she still wants to talk to me," He nodded.

He thought she was good, too pure for his unholy touch. She was too young, almost making him feel lecherous. If he'd leave after her birthday he'd come back missing two years but she'd be two years older. Maybe he'd feel less guilt. Maybe he was just overreacting, maybe if he'd stay by her side he'd become used to it. All would be normal, kind of. 

##

"He's being an idiot. He's getting old, it's a lingering thought, and it’ll go away." Somin assured Haneul, but the thing she noticed about JaeJoong was that when his mind was set on something, nothing was going to change that. 

"Let's think about birthday plans instead, what would you like to do this year?" She tried changing the subject. Her birthday wasn't for a few weeks and she didn't have much thought on it. 

"We could just get dinner and dessert?" Somin suggested, "Nothing too much?"

"Yeah, that'd be something I'd like," smiling, to hopefully change the subject. 

The rest of the day was quiet and slow, typical high school classes and drama of course. She went home, surprised to see JaeJoong's car in her driveway, he wasn't in it but she got the feeling he was in the library. 

"Why are you here?" She slammed down her book bag on the table, hoping to fright JaeJoong. 

"We need to talk."

"I know. You're leaving right?"

"My aunt and uncle think it's a good idea, the wedding, if there was going to be one anytime soon, has been pushed back," He cleared his throat, he stood up, "Let's go for a drive?"

"Okay."

She followed him to his car; he even opened the door for her. She was tired of the quiet. 

"Are we going talk or are we going to act like we're enjoying the scenery?" Her voice was sharp; she wanted this to be over with. She noticed JaeJoong was stiff and uncomfortable, she could tell what he was going to comfort her, but she didn’t want his comfort.

“I’m getting old. That’s another way to explain it, I’m done getting my life together all that’s left is the military, and you…”

“I don’t want this. You should’ve talked to me more about this; we’re going to be married.”

He shut his eyes, he didn’t want her to be in that mindset, and she should be her own person before being his wife. He didn’t know how to explain it, she wasn’t in a good mood, and she wasn’t going to hear him out, “I’m trying my best. Does that matter? The wedding is getting pushed back but that doesn’t mean we aren’t getting married. We could still be good.”

“Be good,” She repeated, “I’ll be nineteen when you get out. That’s two years; maybe by then I’ll be more than good.”

“You’re already the greatest good,” he softly smiled at her, she could feel the blush creep up on her cheeks, her frown slowly turn to a smile.

“I’m mad at you, stop making me feel warm and happy inside,” She reached for his hand, and he wrapped his own around hers. “I want to continue feeling sad and in mourning,” she laughed, he placed his hand on her cheek and she leaned in for support.

“I’m going to kiss you, okay?” She closed her eyes and nodded her head as she felt his lips lightly touch her own, she could slowly feel the heat from her cheeks travel down her neck, and she couldn’t help but wonder if JaeJoong felt the same, that her kiss made all the cold parts in him warm up like his did with her. 

/ its been forever, almost a year, but i want this story to finish up on a right note

i have all the events lined up and it will be different

hopefully a good different.

also!! thanks for the support it means so much. /