It's been almost a week since Seunghyun saw Dara. He always manages to miss her by mere minutes be it at home or in school. His work load is still pretty light since he's just shadowing a senior professor before conducting his own classes next term. He figured that Dara was busy since she's a graduating student so he didn't really think much of her absence.

He missed her but he knew that they have their own responsibilities. However he feels that something was off since five nights ago. Dara rarely replied to any of his texts and even declines his calls. Was she really that busy? He wonders if he did something wrong or they're not as close as he thinks they are anymore? That thought sent chills to his spine, he doesn't know what he would do if his relationship with Dara further declines. He was too scared of taking their relationship to the next level he forgot the posiblity that it might go down a level. 

"This isn't good. I have too much time alone, I need a distraction." Seunghyun said to himself and with that, he dialed a number on his phone. 

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Electronic music is blaring at the background and bodies are getting tangled everywhere in what appears to be a mating dance to Seunghyun. He found himself in the middle of the dance floor with a few hands touching where they shouldn't. It was too much for him so he headed back to their booth. It's been years since he went to a bar and he forgot how wild they can be. 

"Didn't know that clubs in Seoul were this..." Seunghyun waves his hand trying to find the words.

"Fun?" Pipes in one of his companions whose name he forgot at the moment. He took up Cheondoong's offer to take him out and now he's utterly confused and might possibly be drunk. He doesn't know who his "new friends" are and sometimes wonders if they're already old enough to even buy their own liquor. Regardless, he still participated in their drinking games and silly banter. The kids were friendly and very accommodating so he didn't feel awkward around them. Four hours in the club and the boys are still not letting up, Seunghyun thinks that he's getting too old and can't keep up with the young kids. He gets up and excuses himself, he needed fresh air.

The night air was cold, a stark contrast to the heat in his body and the club. He takes a deep breath and fills his lungs with the freezing air. His head is still throbbing from the music but he relishes the relative quiet the streets of Seoul was giving. He was resting his head on a lamp post when somebody tapped on his shoulder, it was Cheondoong. 

"Are you okay? Do you want to go home?" it takes a minute before Seunghyun agrees to go home. 

"Yeah, tell your friends that this old man is calling it a night. Bye! And try not to pass out, your sister might kill me!"

Seunghyun turned to leave and walked towards the main street. It takes a few steps before he realized that Cheondoong was following him. 

"Are you going home as well? You don't seem wasted enough!" Seunghyun jokes.

"Nah. I'm not feeling the vibe tonight, no hot girls." Cheondoong shrugs then winks. "Do you want to get a cup of coffee first? Mom's gonna start nagging if I go home smelling like this."

"Sure. Let's walk around and try to get the stench to lessen?"

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They walk into a hole-in-a-wall coffee shop which had very few customers with Cheondoong leading the way. He says he's a regular there and the coffee is "to die for." But what would he know? He always came there feeling like a "zombie" so anything warm would feel like heaven to him. They settle on a small table facing the window and silently sipped their coffee. A few minutes passed when Cheondoong broke the silence. 

"Do you like my sister?" He says with a solemn expression, any sign of mischief or even drunken stupor gone from his face. It takes a few seconds before Seunghyun nods and he sips his coffee again. 

"I've loved her the moment I laid eyes on her." All honesty and sincerity laced in the words. He thought he was going to cry. He has never said this to anyone from Dara's family because he's scared they might tell her. He's scared that they might disapprove of him. He's scared that if he admits his love for Dara, everything will change. 

"Then why don't you tell her? Why did you never tell her?" The questions he dreaded spilled from his young friend's mouth. He didn't talk, he just stared at his half-finished cup and sighed.

"Because I'm a coward. Because I know that if I tell her how I feel, all that we had and all that we have now will change. I don't want to lose her. I'm happy just seeing her happy, even if it's with someone else." He didn't lift his gaze from the cup but he knew that Cheondoong was still staring at him.

"You're not just a coward. You're also stupid and a liar." Cheondoong said this with so much sadness that Seunghyun had to look at him. You can see a myriad of emotions flashing through his eyes; sadness, anger, confusion...

"How can you say that you love my sister if you don't even bother to see if she's truly happy? You're satisfied to see her happy even if she's with another man? Don't be self righteous. That's just an excuse of your cowardice. What if I tell you that she's miserable? Would you fight for her then?" His voice was slightly raised and it caught the attention of the few people in the establishment. He lowers his voice and continues "I know you're a good man, and we've always known about your feelings towards my sister. Is your love for her not strong enough to fight your fears?" 

"She has a boyfriend that she loves. There's no longer space for me in her heart." Seunghyun says but he knows that these are just lame excuses. He hangs his head in shame, knowing that he's not fooling anyone. 

"Sure. Keep telling yourself that and play up your 'on-sided love' card." Cheondoong stood up and started to walk away. Before he got out of earshot, he added "But just remember that you were the first boy that my sister cried for. The only person who understands her more than her family. Stop being a coward, start using your heart and not your muddled brain."

Seunghyun sat there, feeling sober but more confused than ever. He knows he's a coward. He knows everything that he tells himself about being happy as long as she's happy is a lie. But he's not strong enough to face rejection. He's too scared to lose the tiniest thread of hope he has left; their friendship.

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The bright morning sun was blazing in his face when he woke up, he forgot to shut the curtains. He didn't know what time or how he got home but he feels his eyes sting and his head pound and he knows it's not because of the alcohol he consumed the night before. He cried himself to sleep thinking of how much he loves Dara and how much he's willing to gamble to get her to love him back. 

He made a decision last night, a decision that was more than a decade in the making; he's going to confess his love. He knows that it would only end in heartbreak but his heart is already breaking now, how much more could it possibly hurt? 

A/N: Last chapter will be up HOPEFULLY next week. Thank you for patiently waiting! ^.^