█║▌│█│║▌║││█║▌│║▌║ One shots by QueenLJ

 

4 years ago before her blissful confession...

 

Early in the morning during the first day of school, I already saw a group of students gathering at the center of the field.

 

Too much commotion for the first day. I thought.

 

I observed from afar, watching the student as they chant something that I don't really understand.

 

All I can hear is, "Suits you fine nerdy girl!", "Sip sip sa teacher!".

 

I must say they are bullying someone--by the looks and the words I've heard from them. But I was taken a back when I heard someone say...

 

"Don't mess up with us this school year or else I'll make your everyday life a living hell!" I heard one girl threatingly yell.

 

With no hesitation, I immediately walked to the crowd. I was surprised to see a blonde girl--sitting, crying, and covering her face--because of severe embarrassment she got with this bunch of bullies circling her.

 

I helped her get up. She fixed herself shyly. And when my eyes met hers that were full of innocence, I felt something. I felt sparks. It was a new feeling for me. I never felt like this before. Her eyes felt like home.

 

Something... There might be something in her that captivated my heart ever since.

 

Since then, I started looking at her from afar. Admiring how beautiful she is and how beautiful her heart is.

 

She's the perfect example of beauty. She hides in thick glasses and huge sizes of school uniform. But her inner beauty still floats among the others.

 

Until one day, I saw her again being tripped by bullies. I panicked when I saw her on the floor--hurting. I ran to her and helped her get up--for the second time around. I saw pain in her eyes. Tears starting to well up. I don't want her to be hurt anymore.

 

So every day, every minute, every second, I was around her--but of course without her noticing it. Bullies left her eventually when they saw me near her.

 

If there's something to hate about her, I think it's her numbness. Manhid siya.

 

Hindi niya ako napapansin kahit sobrang lapit ko na sa kanya. Is she really like that? Has the pain inflicted by the school bullies turned her into a naive girl? And again, I felt the pain she went through. It's like I've shared her sadness too.

 

One afternoon, I was at the same place where I helped you--then suddenly you came along.

 

I said hey. You said hi.

 

I asked if you had class. You replied no.

 

I smiled. Suddenly, I felt a surge of shyness. I felt my cheeks turn hotter. So I started walking away. Not wanting you to see what my face color turned into.

 

But you called me yet again. You said thank you. I replied anytime because I mean it. I will be around you everytime.

 

Days passed...

 

I finally had the courage to ask you for a seat at the canteen. Even though there are a lot of chairs and tables vacant.

 

I also purposely didn't bring my english book so that I can share one with you since you're my seatmate.

 

While you weren't looking, I threw my pencil at a nearest wall so that it will break and I'd ask you for one.

 

A science project was given. I asked the teacher to group me with you so I could share time and ideas you.

 

I was happy because you were happy. I like seeing you smile--it satisfies me a lot.

 

 

We became so close to the point that I've shared the most intimate things with you.

 

Those problems that I never told to anyone? I confide them all to you. You were my confidante. My shoulder to cry on. You were someone anyone who's hurting would die to have. You were such an understanding person and I can't believe no one can't see that except me.

 

I never felt happier than I was with you. I was ecstatic everytime I see you. You said that you did feel the same way too. You felt happy with me too.

 

Is this the start of something? I thought. But no--you treat me like your bestfriend.

 

I was wanting, searching, finding. Finding for something more than friendship. Even though I treat you like my girl. I still wanted something more than that. I want a commitment. I want you to be officially mine. But I can't--I just can't.

 

 

I just can't muster enough courage to confess.

 

 

"Dyma! Can you sing this song?" our class president asked me. We were in the middle of our practice for the Youth Night.

 

"Why?" I was confused. I stole a glance at you. You were looking right at me. But you moved your eyes sidewards, a sign that you felt awkward.

 

"We need an example. Hindi kasi makuha ni Daryl yung tono eh," they must have know that I can sing.

 

No choice. I grabbed the lyrics and was surprised to see the song I've been singing this past few days.

 

It was my song for you.

 

I started singing. Feeling the song. Feeling you. Hoping that you would get the message of my song.

 

Beauty queen of only eighteen 

She had some trouble with herself 

He was always there to help her 

She always belonged to someone else

 

 

I drove for miles and miles 

And wound up at your door 

I've had you so many times but somehow 

I want more

 

 

Then I look at you... And you were looking at me back. I remember you listening to the list of problems I have encountered in my life. I thought it'd bore you. But you said it didn't. Right then and there, I knew you were the one.

 

 

I don't mind spending everyday 

Out on your corner in the pouring rain 

Look for the girl with the broken smile 

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile 

And she will be loved 

She will be loved

 

 

What others thought didn't matter. I love you and for me it's all that matter.

 

 

Tap on my window knock on my door 

I want to make you feel beautiful 

I know I tend to get so insecure 

It doesn't matter anymore

 

You are beautiful. So much beautiful from others but you don't know it. You never flaunt.

 

It's not always rainbows and butterflies 

It's compromise that moves us along, yeah 

My heart is full and my door's always open 

You can come anytime you want

 

I wanted our relationship. But I can't help but ask for more.

 

I don't mind spending everyday 

Out on your corner in the pouring rain 

Look for the girl with the broken smile 

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile 

And she will be loved 

And she will be loved 

And she will be loved 

And she will be loved

I know where you hide 

Alone in your car 

Know all of the things that make you who you are 

I know that goodbye means nothing at all 

Comes back and begs me to catch her every time she falls

 

We stared at each other. Not minding others.

 

Tap on my window knock on my door 

I want to make you feel beautiful

 

It was only you I see. The background went into a complete blur.

 

I don't mind spending everyday 

Out on your corner in the pouring rain 

Look for the girl with the broken smile 

Ask her if she wants to stay awhile 

And she will be loved 

And she will be loved 

And she will be loved 

And she will be loved

 

 

And just as I was to mouth the three words I've been wanting you to know, your gaze shifted. I felt broken.

 

 

Three months after the incident, I was surprised when you invited me to the school concert. You said that you would be performing. You would play. And I need to be there.

 

Would I leave you on air? Would I say no to you?

 

Of course not...

 

 

I was watching from afar, admiring how beautiful you are. You held this certain fascination that I myself cannot resist.

 

You did good. No, that's an understatement. You were perfect onstage.

 

Actually, the night is perfect..

 

Believe me, it was the greatest night of my life.

 

When you said you love me, I felt everything stopped. It was only you that I see.

 

 

I love you... and you love me...

 

 

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