chapter 22 | day at the beach

Sunggyu thinks his world might be ending. Woo Bin, the very man he’d fallen for when he first realized his uality and broken his heart, is here, claiming that he always loved Sunggyu and that he still does. Sunggyu doesn’t love Woo Bin anymore – he’d been much too hurt to hang onto that feeling. He’d met Woohyun and he loves Woohyun and Woohyun returns the feeling. Woohyun treats Sunggyu well and that is something Sunggyu’s sure Woo Bin could never do.

 

            They’d managed to escape – he told Woo Bin he really needed to be somewhere – and they have all piled into Sunggyu’s small house, spread haphazardly around Sunggyu’s tiny living room. Dongwoo is sprawled across Hoya’s lap and Yongguk is looking at Sunggyu’s collection of movies while Sunggyu sits curled up to Woohyun’s side. Sungyeol is pacing, an unpleasant frown on his face.

 

            “Who does he think he is?” Sungyeol grumbles to himself. “Why is he even here?”

 

            Sunggyu feels as though his scars have been reopened and as much as it sounds like some cheesy, angsty teenage girl’s diary, it’s the truth and he’s not sure how else to describe it. He wonders if Woo Bin knows how traumatized he made Sunggyu. Some people said Sunggyu was overreacting and boys will be boys but Sunggyu wasn’t hurt any less (he’s a boy, too, thank you very much). He thinks Woo Bin might be the reason or one of the biggest factors that Sunggyu is so shy and unsure of people.

 

            Sunggyu decides that he’s not going to mope around and he’s going to show Woo Bin how much better he is without him. He’s going to show Woo Bin that Sunggyu has forgotten and doesn’t care. He’ll show Woo Bin he can be strong, too.

 

            Sunggyu stands, slightly startling Woohyun. “What is it, Sunggyu?”

 

            “Screw Woo Bin. I can do better than him and I have. I’ll show him that he has no effect on me anymore.”

 

            “Oh, I’m so proud, Sunggyu!” Sungyeol says, suffocating Sunggyu in a deathening embrace, his foul mood totally diminished.

 

            “Alright, Yeollie. You don’t need to get all motherly on me,” Sunggyu tries to push Sungyeol off but Sungyeol holds Sunggyu tighter instead and starts tickling him, causing Sunggyu to burst into a fit of musical giggles and laughter. “Yeollie!” Sunggyu gasps in between laughs. Honestly, he really needs to learn how to control his ticklish tendencies.

 

            “Aw, Gyugyu, you’re so cute!” Sungyeol croons. Woohyun sits in the corner, an aura of jealousy emanating from him.

 

            “Oh come on, Woohyun. You’re jealous over that? Yeol acts like Sunggyu’s mother; it’s nothing to be so jealous over,” Dongwoo says, nudging Woohyun.

 

            “Jealous? I’m not.”

 

            “Dude, it looks like you’re thinking of a hundred brutal ways to murder Sungyeol. If you’re so jealous, just go take Sunggyu from Yeol and tickle him yourself,” Hoya shrugs.

 

            Woohyun grumbles something about people being too observant. “Yeol! Get your paws off Sunggyu for a moment. Jeez, you need a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something.” When he hears Dongwoo, Sungyeol stops and Sunggyu collapses to his knees, holding his sides.

 

            “My sides hurt! What the hell, Yeollie?” Sunggyu frowns and scurries over to Woohyun, curling up into his side once again. Woohyun’s expression turns smug and Dongwoo rolls his eyes.

 

            “Let’s watch a movie! It’s so boring just sitting around here doing nothing!” Sungyeol jumps up and heads over to Yongguk and together they pick out a movie.

 

--

 

            “Alright everybody. Time for… drum roll, please…” Sungyeol announces and as requested, Yongguk gives him a drum roll on his lap. “The beach!” Sungyeol finishes when he’s satisfied with the drum roll.

 

            There’s a collective cheer as they exit Hoya’s van they’ve somehow piled into. After they’d gotten over the initial shock of seeing Woo Bin, Sungyeol had announced the first thing they would do to celebrate summer was to go to the beach. So here they were – the beach. The weather was warm and the sun was up with not a single cloud in the sky. Sunggyu would describe the weather as perfect but Woohyun already has that title.

 

            Woohyun pulls Sunggyu out of the van and grabs their stuff. He gets a head start and pulls Sunggyu along, searching for a good place to put their stuff. “Isn’t it great, Gyu?” Woohyun says, spinning around and flashing a 1000-watt smile. Sunggyu blinks. The sun is behind Woohyun in such a way that it makes Woohyun look angelic and his smile makes for one of those beautiful pictures that you wonder what it looked like in real life.

 

            Sunggyu quickly snaps a photo with his phone and when he puts his phone back into his pocket, Woohyun is giving him a questioning look. Sunggyu blushes. “I just thought it would be a nice picture,” he admits.

 

            “Oh? Then let me get a picture of you, too!”

 

            “No, that’s okay—”

 

            Woohyun runs over to Myungsoo and looks as though he’s asking him for something. Myungsoo glances at Sunggyu and then back at Woohyun before nodding and handing over the camera he has slung around his neck. Woohyun runs back and raises the camera to his face, aiming it at Sunggyu. Sunggyu tries to hide his face – he’s never been much of a picture person – but Woohyun insists, grabbing Sunggyu’s hand and pulling it away from his face.

 

            Sunggyu drops his hand from his face and whines a little. “Woohyun, please. I don’t look good in photos.”

 

            “What are you talking about, Gyu? You always look good.”

 

            Yongguk thankfully saves Sunggyu from a really embarrassing conversation (he’s never been good with accepting compliments, especially when they’re from Woohyun, although he should get used to it because Woohyun is always complimenting him – something about boosting his confidence and telling the truth) and grabs Sunggyu’s wrist. “Come on, let’s go!” he says excitedly.

 

            “We’re coming, we’re coming!” Sunggyu grabs Woohyun’s wrist and together they head to where everyone has put their stuff down. Sunggyu lays his towel down neatly on the sand and takes a seat, putting on his sunglasses and pulling out a container of pristinely cut strawberries. He watches as everyone shamelessly takes off their shirts and starts to feel very self-conscious. “Come on, Gyu! Come swimming!” Sungyeol says, pulling at Sunggyu’s shirt, trying to tug it up.

 

            Sunggyu blushes and grabs the fabric. “What’s wrong, Gyu?”

 

            Sunggyu glances around. Everyone has toned stomachs and they all look really good, which makes Sunggyu uneasy because he doesn’t have any sort of muscle (he barely goes outside or does any physical activities anyways). He doesn’t think he’s comfortable with showing off his nothing, especially in front of Woohyun. There’s a part of him that knows Woohyun doesn’t care about whether he has a nice stomach or not, but there’s still that large unconfident part of him that tells him Woohyun does care and so does everyone else. Stupid, he knows, but this is the first time he’s been in a relationship, especially with someone like Woohyun, and he doesn’t want to mess it up.

 

            Sungyeol leans in close, waiting for Sunggyu to whisper the reason to him like they’ve done so many times. Sungyeol used to be the one who would speak for Sunggyu when they were little kids. An adult would ask Sunggyu something, he would then whisper his answer to Sungyeol, and Sungyeol would say it. Sunggyu eventually grew out of that but Sungyeol has always been the louder one and Sunggyu doesn’t think that’ll ever change.

 

            “Everyone looks good… I…” Sunggyu rubs his stomach and his cousin realizes what he means. Sunggyu has always been insecure and no matter how hard Sungyeol tries to get him more confident about himself, it never really works. Sungyeol nods knowingly.

 

            “When you’re ready, then. Just remember: no one here cares what you look like, and if it means anything, you look amazing no matter what,” Sungyeol whispers back.

 

            Sunggyu smiles prettily at his cousin. “Thanks, Yeollie. It means a lot. You go have fun. I see Myungsoo over there staring at you. Maybe he wants to talk to you.”

 

            Sungyeol glances back and when Sunggyu sees their eyes meet, Myungsoo turns away and he swears Myungsoo’s ears look a little redder than usual. Sungyeol turns back to Sunggyu with a wide grin on his face. “He’s pretty hot, isn’t he? Mysterious – just my type. If you’re okay then I’ll go.”

 

            “I’m fine. Go on.”

 

            Sungyeol nods and pats Sunggyu on the shoulder before skipping over to Myungsoo. Sunggyu won’t tell Sungyeol what Myungsoo did. It’s probably better that he doesn’t know anyways. Sunggyu believes that his cousin can finally find someone this way and besides, he forgives Myungsoo. He doesn’t think that Myungsoo would be able to do anything to Sungyeol because Sungyeol is a superhuman who knows everything and doesn’t take anything from anybody.

 

            “What’s up, love? You aren’t going to swim?” Woohyun sits down next to Sunggyu and takes a strawberry, holding it up to Sunggyu’s lips. Sunggyu eats it cutely and swallows before answering.

 

            “I’m not much of a swimmer.”

 

            “Wait, do you need someone to teach you?”

 

            “No, no, I know how to swim. I just don’t enjoy it. But don’t feel like you have to stay with me. Go have fun with them,” Sunggyu says, gesturing to their friends who are playing in the water.

 

            “I’d rather stay with you. Isn’t that obvious?”

 

            Sunggyu blushes. “Have you put on sunscreen yet?”

 

            “No. I was hoping you could help me with that, actually.” Woohyun reaches into his bag and brings out a tube of sunblock. “Can you do my back?” he asks, holding the tube out to Sunggyu.

 

            Sunggyu nods and takes it while Woohyun adjusts so that Sunggyu is sitting behind him. Sunggyu takes the time to notice how broad his back is and his cheeks flush. He lathers the sunblock onto his hands and slowly places his hands on Woohyun’s sturdy back. He starts to rub the sunscreen in and Woohyun leans into his touch. When Sunggyu has gotten most of his back, he works his way up to his shoulders and the back of his neck.

 

            The whole process makes him blush a bright red and he has a strange feeling that Woohyun is smirking the entire time. “Okay, done,” Sunggyu says after he’s finished lathering the sunblock into Woohyun’s skin.

 

            Woohyun turns and finishes by putting sunblock on his chest, arms, and face. “What about you? Do you have sunscreen on?”

 

            “I put some on earlier.”

 

            “Always coming prepared,” Woohyun cooes and brushes a stray hair from Sunggyu’s forehead. Suddenly the smile from his face drops and he looks at Sunggyu seriously. “What’s the real reason you don’t want to go swimming?”

 

            “I already told you—”

 

            Woohyun catches Sunggyu’s hand in his. “You know that you can tell me anything, right? You don’t need to hide anything from me.”

 

            “What are you talking about—” Sunggyu is effectively cut off by Woohyun’s lips on his and he quickly responds. They pull apart after a few seconds and Woohyun gazes into Sunggyu’s eyes. “Tell me the real reason.”

 

            “I…” Woohyun waits for Sunggyu to continue and it takes him a moment before he speaks again. “I don’t want to take off my shirt.”

 

            “Why?”

 

            “Because you and everyone look so good and I don’t and I didn’t want you to see me,” Sunggyu says in one breath and instantly regrets it. He buries his face in his knees and mentally curses at himself for being so stupid.

 

            “Sunggyu—”

 

            “I’m just insecure, okay?”

 

            Woohyun grabs Sunggyu’s hand and stands up, pulling Sunggyu up with him. “Let’s go.”

 

            “Go where? We can’t just leave.”

 

            “We aren’t leaving. We’re just going to the car for a bit.” Woohyun turns and calls Hoya’s name. Hoya comes jogging over. “What’s up?” he asks.

 

            “Can I borrow the keys? I forgot something in the van.”

 

            “Sure.” Hoya grabs his bag and fishes around for something. When he returns, he hands the keys to Woohyun and tells him to throw them in his bag when he gets back. Woohyun thanks him and drags Sunggyu off the beach and into the parking lot. They find the van and when Woohyun unlocks it and opens the door, he gently pushes Sunggyu inside, following behind and shutting the door.

 

            “What are we doing in here?”

 

            “I thought we could get some quality time in private.”

 

            “Woohyun?”

 

            Woohyun sighs. “I don’t want you belittling yourself. Why would you ever think I wouldn’t want to see you?”

 

            “Because… I just… you’re so good looking and you turn heads wherever you go and you don’t even try and I’m just me and you should be seen with someone equally as attractive and I just don’t have any confidence—”

 

            Woohyun slaps a hand over Sunggyu’s mouth, muffling the rest of his words. Sunggyu’s cheeks burn – he can’t believe he just said all that – and he’s surprised to see that Woohyun is blushing, too. “Stop, Sunggyu. Don’t berate yourself; I won’t allow that. Sunggyu, you are perfect just the way you are and you’re the one I want to be with. I’m not ashamed of you and I never have been. I’m very proud to say that you are my boyfriend and I wouldn’t have it any other way. And I do try. I try very hard to look good because I want you to think that I look good because you always look so flawless without any effort and I want to be someone who you can be proud to call ‘boyfriend’. Don’t you understand, Gyu? I… love you because you’re you and no one else.”

 

            Sunggyu is shocked by Woohyun’s sudden confession. They hadn’t used such a big (metaphorically) word to describe their feelings, and although Sunggyu had always known he was in love with Woohyun, he refused to say it out loud in fear that it would be too much and push Woohyun away. But now Woohyun was the one saying it and an unexplainable feeling explodes in Sunggyu that is so overwhelming he starts to cry. “Sunggyu? Why are you crying?” Woohyun asks as he wipes away Sunggyu’s tears with the pad of his thumb.

 

            “I love you, too,” Sunggyu mutters. Woohyun smiles, a huge weight lifted off his chest and he kisses Sunggyu like he never has before. It’s ineffable and almost ethereal. At some point Sunggyu is pushed back so that he is lying down on the seats with Woohyun over him. Woohyun tenderly kisses Sunggyu’s closed eyelids before moving his hands so that he is gripping the hem of Sunggyu’s shirt. He slowly starts to roll it up and when Sunggyu doesn’t protest, he pushes it up and Sunggyu moves his arms up so that the shirt comes off with ease. Woohyun leaves butterfly kisses on several spots on Sunggyu’s stomach and kisses his collarbones before pulling away and helping Sunggyu sit upright.

 

            “Ready to go back?”

 

            Sunggyu nods and grabs his discarded shirt before following Woohyun out of the car, their hands tightly clasped together. 

 

 

I just want you all to know how much you've helped me. 

When I first posted that notice, I wasn't expecting such a response. I just wanted to tell people why I didn't feel like writing. I was honestly so distraught about my teacher's comment but you helped me. I'm not just talking to the people who commented such lovely things, I'm talking to everyone, even my silent readers. You didn't have to speak up because you were there, reminding me how many people like my story and that was enough for me. 

I'm sorry I couldn't directly reply to every beautiful comment but because of exams I was running low on time so if you don't mind, I'll just thank you here. 

I didn't realize how much better I could feel by comments from people I don't know. But I think it's more convincing because you readers don't know me personally and (hopefully) aren't just saying this because you don't want to hurt my feelings.

The comments just kept coming in and I was literally brought to tears. You guys were so supportive and so helpful and I don't know how to thank you for that. The best thing I can think of now is a promise that if you ever need someone to talk to, come to me. I will listen to everything you say and I will try to help as best I can and I will be there for you when maybe people in real life aren't. So I'll link my tumblr where I'm usually always on and you can come talk to me, even if you just feel like talking to someone: http://junho-o.tumblr.com 

I don't know what happened but I opened Word and began writing, thinking about your comments and thinking that my teacher went out of line and she probably meant well so I shouldn't take it to heart. It was just for me to improve. So I wrote and I decided that I would improve and I'm so grateful you all helped me. 

(It wasn't much of a break but right now I don't think I need a break anymore. I just finished my English exam, too, so I can forget about that for a while!)

THANKKKKKKKKKK YOUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

 

P.S.

A few of you wanted to see a picture of Woo Bin and I realized not everyone knew who he was (he's an actor and model) so here are two links to pictures of him: uno and dos