theories and fists

chapter 16 | theories and fists

Sunggyu wakes up after only having two hours of restless sleep and drags himself to the bathroom. His eyes are red and puffy and there are dark circles that hang under them. Sunggyu doesn’t really feel like himself; if anything he feels like a walking shell. Sunggyu tries his best to cover up the dark circles under his eyes with make-up but it doesn’t really help. He outlines his eyes in thick eyeliner and musses up his hair. He gets dressed and skips breakfast, barely listening as Dongwoo tells him about some show he’d recently gotten into.

When they arrive at school, Hoya places his hands on either side of Sunggyu’s face and shakes him a little. “What’s wrong with you? You’re walking like a zombie and your eyes are red. Have you been crying?”

“No,” is Sunggyu’s simple and emotionless reply. Hoya frowns and exchanges glances with Dongwoo.

Dongwoo leans over and whispers in Hoya’s ear. “Something happened with Myungsoo. I took his phone this morning when he wasn’t looking. He sent a text saying ‘I’m done with this game. I won’t play along anymore’ to Myungsoo. I’m not really sure what it means but I heard him crying last night.”

Hoya furrows his eyebrows. Not that he was trying to be mean but he wouldn’t expect Sunggyu to be the one to end the relationship. Over text, too. Hoya isn’t too sure how to deal with this. He figures he should just be there for Sunggyu and if Sunggyu wants to tell them what happened, he will. So Hoya places his hands on Sunggyu’s shoulders and pulls him into a tight hug. Sunggyu’s eyes widen but they soon close and he clings onto the back of Hoya’s shirt.

Dongwoo joins the hug and rubs Sunggyu’s back soothingly. “You can tell us when you’re ready and only if you want to, okay?”

Sunggyu wordlessly nods and hugs them closer. He mutters a thank you into Hoya’s shirt.

Sunggyu is walking to the cafeteria when he’s yanked into the janitor’s closet by a cold and firm hand. The closet door shuts behind him and he can’t help but painfully remember the time Woohyun had pulled him into the same closet. “W-what—” Sunggyu is cut off by chapped lips pressing against his with an urgency and ferocity that makes Sunggyu tremble from with fear.

Sunggyu manages to pull away and catch his breath. He collects his thoughts and lets his eyes adjust to the darkness. He’s startled to see Myungsoo looking at him with dark and furious eyes. “Why did you break up with me?” he growls and Sunggyu almost makes a run for it. Almost. Myungsoo is reaching forward to place a hand on Sunggyu’s cheek but he doesn’t get the chance because – very surprisingly – Sunggyu grabs Myungsoo’s hand in a sudden burst of bravery. This startles both of them but Sunggyu doesn’t want to back down now after he’s come so far.

“I did what I had to,” he answers.

“What is that supposed to mean?”

Sunggyu takes a deep breath and tries to match the dark look in L’s eyes. “I’m done with this game we’re playing. I’m not some toy that you can throw around for your own motives. I am a human being who has feelings.”

Myungsoo only growls in response so Sunggyu continues. “Why does it matter to you anyways? It should be easy for you to find someone else to play your little game. How is this teaching Woohyun a lesson anyways? Unless you lied and that isn’t the real reason. You’ve got ulterior motives, don’t you?” Sunggyu isn’t really sure where all this is coming from. It’s true, he’d thought about it last night. Sunggyu isn’t so dense as to not be able to see that Myungsoo is always looking at Woohyun and is glued to his side. Sunggyu had a theory: Myungsoo wanted Woohyun jealous and this could be achieved by dating Sunggyu. By dating someone like Sunggyu, Woohyun would get jealous because Woohyun is much better than Sunggyu in every aspect. Of course this is just a theory and he could be totally wrong, but he might as well put the idea out there.

Myungsoo is looking at him with an unreadable expression. “What are you talking about?”

“Don’t think I don’t see the way you look at him. You like Woohyun, don’t you? You wanted to get him jealous, am I right? Well I don’t want to be your tool. I won’t be used by you to make him jealous.”

Sunggyu leaves before Myungsoo can answer and practically books it down the hallway. He can’t believe he just said all of that to Myungsoo without stuttering or shying away. Where had the sudden courage come from?

Sunggyu bursts into the cafeteria and makes his way to where his three friends are sitting. They look at Sunggyu questioningly – he’s out of breath and looking very startled. Sunggyu’s about to sit down until someone grabs his wrist and spins him around.

“I’m not done talking to you—” Myungsoo starts but Sunggyu cuts him off.

“Well I am so you, !” he yells. And then the most bizarre thing happens. Sunggyu connects his fist with Myungsoo’s face, effectively knocking Myungsoo off his feet. The entire cafeteria is quiet and thoroughly surprised by the scene they’ve just watched. Woohyun, who’s walked in just in time to see the scene, is looking at Sunggyu with wide eyes. Sungyu looks absolutely furious and Woohyun doesn’t think he’s ever seen Sunggyu this mad.

Sunggyu marches out of the cafeteria, walking straight past Myungsoo and Woohyun. Myungsoo’s nose starts to bleed and in utter shock, he can’t even do anything about it.

“Did that just happen or am I dreaming?” Dongwoo asks, blinking rapidly.

“No, I’m pretty sure Sunggyu just did that,” Hoya answers and then the three are standing up and following Sunggyu.

“Tell us what happened. None of this are-you-ready . You’d better tell us what happened right now,” Dongwoo instructs when they finally catch up to Sunggyu in the music room.

Sunggyu is staring at his fist which is starting to throb and turn red. “That hurt,” he mutters, just as surprised as everyone else.

“What the happened. Explain. Now,” Hoya says as he shakes Sunggyu who looks like a deer in the headlights.

“Well Myungsoo came up to me a few weeks ago and told me to date him to teach Woohyun some stupid lesson. I said yes because I was really mad at Woohyun because apparently he was just playing around with me. So the entire time we were dating it was essentially fake.

Yesterday I heard Myungsoo and Woohyun talking about me in a classroom. Apparently I was just some toy that Woohyun liked to play with to entertain himself and Myungsoo was insulting me and it really hurt so I texted Myungsoo saying I didn’t want to play this game with him anymore. He got mad and pulled me into the janitor’s closet asking me why I did it. I told him the truth and that I thought the reason he dated me was to make Woohyun jealous. I didn’t give him time to answer and I ran away and then he came to talk again and you saw the rest.”

Sunggyu has to take a deep breath and calm himself down. Hoya, Dongwoo and Yongguk are looking at him like he’s got three heads or something. “Seriously?” Yongguk says in disbelief.

“You are such a ing idiot! Why the hell did you agree to Myungsoo’s plans? And I highly doubt Woohyun only thinks of you as a toy or whatever. I’ve seen how he looks at you. I’m not a ing idiot like you. Did you hear directly from Woohyun’s mouth that you were just a toy?” Dongwoo is furious.

“Well, no but—”

“Then how can you be sure?”

“Because it’s probably true… Woohyun is popular and good looking and talented and I’m just… me. Just me.”

Dongwoo marches towards Sunggyu which confuses him until Dongwoo raises his fist and punches Sunggyu, knocking Sunggyu off the chair and to the floor. Sunggyu rubs his cheek and looks up at Dongwoo with wide eyes.

“You are so ing stupid Sunggyu. Why can’t you see that you aren’t worthless? We love you for being Sunggyu so what makes you think Woohyun doesn’t? It doesn’t matter how popular you are or how popular he is – he loves you and you love him.”

Sunggyu can’t answer and lets Dongwoo continue. “You know, he’s come up to me in the hall asking about you. When you started dating Myungsoo and stopped hanging out with Woohyun, he asked about how you were. Even though you don’t think so, he cares. Whenever you were with Myungsoo, he would only be looking at you. Can’t you see that he cares?”

Sunggyu buries his face in his knees. “That may have been but Myungsoo is probably going after Woohyun now. It’s better that way. I should just stick to my old way of living and forget Woohyun.”

Hoya squats down so he’s eye level with Sunggyu. Sunggyu glances up at Hoya with tears in his eyes. Hoya rubs Sunggyu’s back and sighs. “Don’t you see that it’s hurting you to do this to yourself? You were so happy when you were with Woohyun. We’re your best friends and we want you to be happy. So you need to get over this depression thing you’ve got going on and go talk to Woohyun.”