chapter 01 | the lonely life of kim sunggyu

Sunggyu is anything but cool. Sunggyu is, by Hoya’s definition, the epitome of uncool and everything that goes with it. He’s kind of really socially awkward and unbearably clumsy (seriously, he could hurt himself in a padded room) and a little too naïve for his own good. And therefore he is deemed totally uncool.

            Sunggyu trudges through the overpopulated hallways early in the morning to his locker which happens to be inconveniently located near the boys’ locker room where it constantly smells of sweat and man. He navigates through the sea of teenagers, muttering apologies and polite excuses as he is pushed around like a pinball but nobody really notices him enough to pay him any attention.

            Sunggyu is used to this, though, because he’s pretty much at the bottom of the food chain. Though he isn’t bullied and pushed around like some of the kids he sees, he’s invisible and, somehow, that’s kind of worse.

            When Sunggyu arrives at his locker, he quickly opens it, grabs his books and stuffs his jacket inside. Wanting to escape the strong smell of cologne mixed with manly sweat, he quickens his pace and slams his locker door shut, hurrying off to his first class. He’ll be first, he already knows this. He always is but he doesn’t really mind.

            He’s first to show up, just as he predicted, and after he casually greets the teacher (the teacher seems to like him a lot), he goes to take his usual seat at a desk somewhere in the middle and close to the far window where he tends to gaze out and observe students who skip their first period class. He likes to watch them and study how they act and why they act that way and he tries to understand them to the best of his abilities but he always is left wondering and feeling just a tad bit lonely.

            Today there is a mass of students who have formed a large circle-like shape and Sunggyu recognizes them as the popular kids.

            Sunggyu isn’t sure if every school has one, but his has a group of really cool kids that all hang out together and he guesses that if you’re in it, then you can be considered one of the popular kids.

            He’s noticed that you have to be very handsome or very pretty to be in it and you have to have exceptional social skills, both of which Sunggyu lacks. Sunggyu likes to watch them because he finds it interesting to see everyone be friendly with everyone and he can tell which ones hate each other despite acting like they like each other. He just observes like he’s always done.

            They usually get together outside in front of the school on sunny days like today and are usually all together, save for the kids who sleep in late or who have early morning practices.

            The class starts filling up with students and Sunggyu watches as the group outside starts to disperse as the day begins. Sunggyu is about to look away when someone catches his gaze and locks eyes with him. Sunggyu immediately recognizes him; Nam Woohyun, one of the most popular kids. He’s a little bit of a player, constantly receiving confessions from boys and girls alike. Sunggyu has observed him countless times, trying to understand how he can be so perfect.

            Sunggyu would be lying if he said he didn’t have a crush on Nam Woohyun, but Sunggyu was pretty sure that at one point or another, everyone had at least a small crush on him.

            Sunggyu is logical, though, and would never deceive himself into thinking he had any chance with Nam Woohyun and he was content with that. He’s accepted that he is totally uncool and Nam Woohyun is from a totally different world from his own and it would never work out anyways.

            Sunggyu feels a blush arising and he quickly pulls his gaze away from Nam Woohyun’s. He’s not good with people noticing him; he’d gone through a lifetime of being not noticed after all, so it’s only natural.

            His mind is temporarily ripped from thoughts of the popular boy when someone sits next to him. Hoya, his best friend from when they were very, very small, sits beside him like every day and looks at Sunggyu with tired eyes. He was probably up all night dancing or doing something equally as strenuous (Hoya isn’t as clumsy as Sunggyu and is actually good at something).

            Hoya looks at Sunggyu and doesn’t say anything but Sunggyu knows because he has done this so many times for Hoya that he doesn’t need to ask anymore. Sunggyu nods and Hoya buries his face in his arms and quickly dozes off. As the lesson starts, Sunggyu takes notes for his best friend. The teacher pays Hoya no heed – Sunggyu’s explained before about his predicament and Hoya passes well enough so he doesn’t really worry. Other than dancing, Hoya takes care of his sickly mother and often stays up late to do things for her when she can’t sleep (which is almost every day) so Sunggyu takes pity on his best friend and tries to help in any way he can.

            When class finishes, Sunggyu nudges Hoya awake and hands him the neatly printed and organized note of the class which Hoya takes gratefully and thanks Sunggyu. “God, what the hell would I do without you?”

            Sunggyu thinks that Hoya is actually a really cool guy and could qualify to be a part of the popular group if he just didn’t hang out with Sunggyu, but Hoya always insisted that he loved being Sunggyu’s best friend and wouldn’t change that for the world. Sunggyu is grateful he has someone like Hoya but he does honestly feel sorry that he’s made Hoya a nobody just like himself.

            “You can thank me by buying lunch,” Sunggyu says seriously but Hoya laughs.

            “You barely eat lunch anyways. All you ever want are strawberries.”

            Sunggyu opens his mouth to argue but he can’t really find anything valid to say because just like Hoya says, he barely eats (he’s never really had a big appetite) and he only ever wants strawberries. It isn’t really his fault that he loves strawberries so much - Hoya just doesn’t know how to appreciate his passion for strawberries.

            “At least Dongwoo appreciates my love for strawberries,” Sunggyu notices how red Hoya’s face goes at the mention of Sunggyu’s younger brother. Hoya’s had the biggest crush on Sunggyu’s little brother (okay not that little because Dongwoo is only a year younger) for as long as they’ve known each other and Sunggyu always teases Hoya about it.

            “One day, Sunggyu, there’s going to be someone in your life and I will tease you so hard you are going to regret every time you teased me,” Hoya glares at his best friend and Sunggyu thinks there is already someone but he won’t say anything just yet.

            -

            Sunggyu sips the strawberry milk Hoya bought for him, happily listening to Dongwoo telling Hoya and him about a new movie he wanted to catch. It’s lunch time and the three sit at their usual table in a far off corner of the large cafeteria.

The cafeteria is basically a place where you show off your social standing in the food chain of high school. The popular table is in the very middle of it all and then it spirals out from there, winding away in a circle of tables. It’s like an old fashioned banquet almost – the closer you are to the popular table, the more important you are. You are unofficially assigned a table with your group of friends and you stick to that table for your entire school life, unless you manage to move up the ranks. The outer rim of the very subjective circle is where the invisible students sat and where Sunggyu had been ever since he entered high school.

Sunggyu peers off into the centre of the spiralling circle where the popular table sits and he looks longingly at one Nam Woohyun. He watches as his dark hair falls perfectly over his forehead and how his perfectly shaped mouth forms a charming smile as he speaks with a very pretty boy (whom Sunggyu had once thought was a girl). Nam Woohyun says something that iss clearly very funny because everyone around him laughs. Sunggyu wishes he could hear Nam Woohyun speak, too.

It’s not like Sunggyu really want to sit at the popular table. It’s not like he really wants to be popular at all. He would just like to sit with Nam Woohyun at least once in his life. If he could sit with him just once, he thinks he could die happy.

“Daydreaming about Nam Woohyun again?” Dongwoo wiggles his eyebrows suggestively at Sunggyu, snapping him out of his dazed state.

“What? No, of course not,” Sunggyu tries very desperately to conceal his blush but he fails miserably and opts to gluing his eyes to his now very interesting shoes.

“You know, you’re really cute when you blush! I’m sure if you looked up more, Nam Woohyun would definitely go for you.”

“Thanks, Dongwoo, but I don’t really think that’ll ever happen,” Sunggyu admits shyly.

Dongwoo and Hoya exchange glances. Sunggyu is so hopeless it’s almost painful to watch.

“Hey, did you hear about Nam Woohyun’s new boyfriend?” Dongwoo says, trying to get more of a reaction out of Sunggyu because sometimes he finds it utterly hilarious when Sunggyu is turned into a bushing and stuttering school girl.

“I didn’t hear anything about him,” Sunggyu says but inside he’s a little hurt because a part of him thinks that if Nam Woohyun goes for boys, maybe he’ll go for Sunggyu, too, but the rational part of him tells him no.

“They say he’s in college and he's filthy rich, just like Woohyun,” Hoya adds and Sunggyu notices that he’s woken up a bit now.

“I heard he’s also a model for like Calvin Klein and stuff.”

Sunggyu finishes his strawberry milk and (with some effort) crushes the carton in his pretty hands (Hoya has already said that a six year old girl is stronger than Sunggyu). He stands and contemplates throwing the carton into the garbage can but decides against it because he would probably just take someone’s eye out. He shuffles over to the bin and drops the carton in before grabbing all his things. “I’m going to the music room. Are you coming?"

Hoya and Dongwoo grin before standing up, gathering their own things, and following Sunggyu out of the overcrowded cafeteria. 

Sorry for the weird formatting at the bottom. Microsoft Word hates me. Officially. 

So this is the beginning of my new woogyu story. I do hope you enjoy it and subscribe, comment, and upvote. 

Comments make me feel less lonely.